Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Adoption”

Super Baby – Part 2


It appears that I am not going to have to wait another thirty years to see my football team get to the Super Bowl. Last night, my Seattle Seahawks defeated the division rivals the San Francisco 49ers to advance to the greatest show on earth. Of course, this similar scenario took place eight years ago.

During the 2005 football season, the Seahawks were catching everyone by surprise. Even more of a surprise was that they were advancing deep into the playoffs. At the same time, another major event in my life had been advancing. I was deep into the process of adopting my second daughter, Emmalie.

You probably have co-workers that operate football pools or bet on the games, and I was no different. I stayed away from them, because I am a much better fan than a gambler. However, January 2006 was different. I had a bravado that had me making statements like “Put your house on Seattle”. I actually told a co-worker, a very serious better with football, to bet his house. Of course, he looked at me like I was crazy. But I was very serious.

If you have followed me a long time, or even just begun, you can see I do not really have the greatest of luck (though it is beginning to turn around). In my past, anything good that happened to me, always ended up underminded, a cruel Murphy’s Law trick.

My paperwork from China for Emmalie was on its way from China, meaning that I would be travelling soon. Though the Super Bowl was three weeks away, I had to prepare myself, that if the Seahawks were to get to the Super Bowl in 2006, no, they were going to get to the Super Bowl in 2006, I was not going to be able to be here to watch the game. Although clearly, I was much more eager to meet my youngest daughter. Conflicted, but eager.

I told my co-worker to bet everything he had, including his house, that the Seahawks would beat the St. Louis Rams (another division rival) in the NFC Championship game to advance to the Super Bowl. And then I explained why. Of course he looked at me as if I were three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket. But I stood firm. Unfortunately for him, he did not share my confidence. I do not know how much he had wagered, but clearly he did not win his full potential.

As expected, the Seahawks won and advanced to the Super Bowl on February 6, 2008. As expected, I got my notice that I would be travelling to China to adopt the newest addition to my family, Emmalie on February 9th. But at least I would get to the my team for the first time in its history, play in the Super Bowl.

I received a telephone call just a week before February 4th. It was the adoption agency. “Mr. Edelman, I’m happy to tell you that your travel date has been moved up to February 6th.” That was great news! I would get to hold Emmalie sooner. Then it hit me, that was Super Bowl Sunday. Oh well, I would just have to rely on the DVR, because big sister Madison and I were too anxious to travel to China to bring Emmalie home.

There is one bad thing to the technology in 2006, memory usage. My DVR had been erased back to zero per cent used, so I had plenty of space to record the game. What I had not been counting on, was that my ex was taping all of her soap operas while we were gone. Of course I had to record the Super Bowl in high def which would take up more memory, but look great. BUt unfortunately, when the memory maxed out, the DVR would start to delete the oldest programs first. So, after two weeks of recording two soap operas every day, when we arrived home from China with Emmalie, though I already knew the results of the game from two weeks before, and being jet-lagged with the thirteen hour time difference, I still wanted to watch the game.

What game? Memory usage had pushed the oldest program off of the DVR, in other words, my Super Bowl. I never got to see it after all.

As we sat at the table last night, Emmalie and I had a conversation on how she and I were going to watch this year’s Super Bowl together. Even more strange, thanks to a childhood friend, even my oldest daughter is into football now. Although it is more because she heard of a football player with our last name (Julian Edelman of the Patriots).

It was an entertaining game, not pretty, but gutsy. But in two weeks, my Super Bowl baby, now eight, and my older daughter will sit down and watch the spectacle that I missed eight years ago. I have always enjoyed telling the story of the game that never was. That I was flying over the North Pole during the kickoff of my football team’s first Super Bowl appearance. But the eight years of memories being the father of two beautiful little girls… priceless.

One Direction – Forward


For the last twenty-five years, my life has gone nothing as planned. From the day I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma back in 1988, one thing I learned very quickly in my life, there was no such thing as being in control of my life. All I was able to do was recognize, accept, and move on, one direction…forward. One of my favorite expressions is ” if you spill grape juice on your white carpet are you going to stand there looking at it asking ‘why?’ Or are you going to clean it up before the stain gets too bad?”
2013 a lot of “grape juice” was spilled. I was rushed to the emergency room for the third time in less than a year. Some late side effects from my cancer days were requiring attention. My second and final campaign for our local school board fizzled into oblivion. My most loyal companion and furry friend Pollo was laid to rest just shy of his fifteenth birthday (not too shabby for a golden retriever). And the biggest event of 2013, the end of my second marriage.
As all of these things occurred, I was never in any control of their outcomes or consequences. I could only move in one direction…forward. My health is always going to have something pop up. But I can make better decisions that can help prevent many things from happening. Stress reduction has had major impact on me already. Confirmed by my doctors, certain vital signs and blood results have improved to the point that medications are being ceased. Even some of the permanent late side effects are less in severity without the large amount of stress.
Local politics was an interesting venture. For all the hype of the last presidential election it was only natural to think that while turnout would not match the levels of 2012, a local election that had major implications surely had to make a difference and could have come down to “one vote making a difference.” But instead voter apathy tumbled far below even two years prior, another off-year election.
I still miss Pollo so much. I have finally stopped automatically going for his feed bowl or the back door to let him out first thing in the morning. But I do still miss his faithful tail wag and inability to get mad for any reason. But the loss has been so painful.
As for the divorce, the end will come. But my attention now has to focus on my daughters. I will not discuss the circumstances of the divorce. But the effects are showing on my daughters. I know what it is like to be caught in the middle of a bitter custody situation and I am doing my best to make sure that they know that both of their parents are going to be a part of their lives not just for 2014, but for years after that. Both of us will have wonderful new changes for the girls providing them plenty of wonderful experiences, just not the misery and stress of watching us not getting along with each other. For everyone else in our lives, I do hope that in 2014 you realize that what led to our breakup was best kept between she and , and had nothing to do with anyone else.
I have lots of hopes for 2014 for the one direction I am making. But I will not forget those that will also be struggling with either their employment, finances, health, or their relationships.
I prefer to clean up the “grape juice.” Not ask why it spilled. To all of you reading this and “Paul’s Heart,” I wish you all a happy, healthy, prosperous new year.
Happy New Year everyone.

Ichiro Suzuki, Pete Rose, Ty Cobb, and Paul Edelman


Ichiro Suzuki, Pete Rose, Ty Cobb, and Paul Edelman.  We all share something in common with each other.  Alright, we have to eliminate the obvious using the method used on standardized tests… which answer does not fit?  Paul Edelman.  The other three names are/were professional baseball players who hit for over 4000 career base hits.  Each time, the impossible became possible.  Ty Cobb hit for 4000 career hits, a record never thought to be broken.  Then Pete Rose achieved that mark, followed by Suzuki.

In 2012, there were eleven quarterbacks who threw for over 4000 yards breaking a record 10 quarterbacks in one season.  Future Hall Of Famers, Drew Brees, Tony Romo, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning and Aaron Rodgers just to name a few.

The late, great Wilt Chamberlain is the only pro basketball player to ever score 4000 points in one season.  The season being the years 1961-1962.

Sorry hockey fans… and I am disappointed as well there are no 4000 goals or points scored.  Goalie Devan Dubnyk of the Edmonton Oilers has stopped over 4000 shots as have Roberto Luongo, Henrik Lundqvist, and bizarre former Flyers goalie Ilya Bryzgalov.  I looked for any hockey player who might have racked up 4000 penalty minutes and the closest I could come was a player by the name of Tiger Williams (Toronto Mapleleafs) who retired just short of 4000 with 3966 minutes.

There has been no physical demand on my part to reach 4000 views on Paul’s Heart, just the will to put my thoughts down into written form.  I would like to think that there are more in my household who would be excited for me, especially my oldest daughter who is not really fond of reading.  You would think she would see that so many have read what her father has written and have that motivate her, but to my disappointment, nope.  Nonetheless, for the guy who’s college English professor once wrote while grading one of my papers that I “don’t have the intelligence to get past a comic strip page”, I think I can, and have done so.

I now set my sights on a new goal, 5000 views.  Thank you so much for encouraging me with your comments and support.  Darlene, thank you for suggesting this be my outlet for my thoughts in pursuit of that book I want to write.  And to everyone, I have over 100 more stories already started, not including the ideas that pop in my head daily.

As usual, I constantly run into new experiences that I want to share with you, in hopes that somehow, you will see, you are not alone.

Thank you everyone for reading Paul’s Heart.

 

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