Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

A Cancer Like A Needle In A Haystack


September is National Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Awareness month. As cancers go, this is really the only time that Hodgkin’s gets any real attention. The media does not pay attention to it unless a celebrity is diagnosed with it, and as far as major cancer organizations go, Hodgkin’s is just a blip on the radar compared to the other bigger cancers such as breast, lung, and colon. It is for that reason, I have committed my survivorship to advocating for all of us dealing with Hodgkin’s, survivorship, and late side effects, even if I am small fish doing this one at a time.

Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is considered an unusual cancer not just because it is rare, but because it often starts with vague symptoms, and the actual cancer cells are often hard to find. My own diagnosis back in 1988, was misdiagnosed as the common cold, because all I showed was a swollen lymph node, something all of us experience at one time or another.

According to SEER, in the US, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma accounts for about 0.4% of new cancer diagnosis, which as the picture above suggests is approximately 8920 cases projected for 2026. This makes it far less common than breast, prostate, lung, colon, or even non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (it needs to be noted, there are multiple forms of lymphoma). Back in 1988, the number of new cases of Hodgkin’s was around 8,000.

One of the biggest frustrations for us Hodgkin’s patients and survivors is why, what caused it? There is no single common environmental cause for Hodgkin’s as there is for say lung cancer or colon cancer. The disease seems to arise from a combination of B-cell genetic changes, immune system behavior, inherited susceptibility, and a common occurence among those diagnosed with Hodgkin’s, a past history with Epstein-Barr virus or mono (EBV). The truth is, most people diagnosed with Hodgkin’s have few or no obvious risk factors.

Why is Hodgkin’s so hard to diagnose? Simply because the symptoms can look like many other illnesses. Early onset often presents something as nonspecific as a painless enlarged lymph node (in my case, my node itched), usually in the neck, chest, or underarm. Other symptoms can include, unexplained fatigue, itching, fever, night sweats, unexplained weight loss, coughs, and shortness of breath. But enlarged lymph nodes are overwhelmingly more often caused by infection or inflammation than lymphoma. So there is no initial reason to suspect Hodgkin’s as was the situation in my case.

Another thing that did not help, blood tests do not usually diagnose it, which is different from other blood cancers such as non-Hodgkin’s and leukemia. A person with Hodgkin’s can have a white count, red count, platelets, and routine chemistry tests that are relatively normal, while blood tests are great at determining anemia, inflammation, liver abnormalities, or other advanced diseases, there is not standard blood test for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Even imaging studies are not able to diagnose Hodgkin’s, though those kinds of studies do come into play when it comes to staging the cancer (how bad the cancer is).

So why is it so hard to diagnose? And the notable answer is why Hodgkin’s was changed from “disease” to “lymphoma,” the discovery of the actual malignant cells – the Reed-Sternberg cells – and they may make up a small fraction of the enlarged lymph node, while most of the mass can actually consist of normal-looking inflammatory and immune cells that have been recruited by the cancer. That is why, in order to diagnose Hodgkin’s, I won’t even say properly, a biopsy is usually the only way.

Surgically removing the suspected lymph node, pathologists don’t simply look for one giant abnormal cell. They look for the Reed-Sternberg cells, the architecture of the lymph node, surrounding inflammatory cells, fibrosis, and immunohistochemical markers. I am not diving that far into the weeds, but for Hodgkin’s, the common proteins of the Reed-Sternberg cells are CD30 and CD15. Even then it can still be hard to differentiate between non-Hodgkin’s.

Biologically, Hodgkin’s appears to have a mind of its own, biologically peculiar in that it originates from a B lymphocyte, and the RS cells become so abnormal, they lose many of the characteristics of a normal B cell. They also release chemical signals that attract large numbers of their immune cells. Ironically, the cancer can effectively create an immune environment that protects the malignant cells instead of eliminating them.

So, a Hodgkin’s node may contain very few cancer cells surrounded by huge number of normal immune cells, which contributes to the characteristic swollen lymph nodes and the difficulty of diagnosis. It was definitely more difficult to diagnose back in 1988 as medicine lacked modern immunohistochemistry, the discovered markers, better imaging and other sophisticated molecular techniques.

The remarkable paradox is that Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is rare and sometimes diagnositcally tricky, but once correctly diagnosed, it is one of the most curable cancers in oncology. And though unfortunately poorly documented, Hodgkin’s survivors often live long after their treatement ends, well beyond the five year average which is normally the only benchmark discussed.

(photo courtesy of Hodgkin’s International)

Hodgkin’s may be rare. And you may not hear about people living a long time after cancer, but here is proof that cancer survivors are now living a long time, in fact decades after their treatment. I participate in social media peer support sites consisting of thousands of long term Hodgkin’s survivors, out decades, 30, 40, and 50 years from treatments. The photo above was taken two years ago at a conference hosted by Hodgkin’s International, and organization created by Hodgkin’s survivors to meet the needs of Hodgkin’s patients and survivors. Finally, an organization that would meet the needs of Hodgkin’s patients and survivors, where others were falling way short. In that photo are survivors averaging between 30 and over 50 years of survivorship. And that is a fact as rarely discussed as Hodgkin’s itself is considered rare.

Cancer – Do You Feel Lucky? Well, Do Ya?


I am going to ask you three questions. Do not look ahead to the next question before answering each one. To help, I am going to skip a few lines in between each question.

If you had to choose between an apple and an orange, which would it be?

If money and time were no object, where is one place you would like to travel?

If you had to choose a cancer to be stricken with, what would it be?

Cue the sound of a needle scratching a record to a complete halt. Cancer? What?

Ok, first, my answer is an apple. I love putting peanut butter on apples. And my dream place to visit, Alaska. Those two questions were easy to answer. But that third question, what the Hell? Of course, we never think about opting for a certain type of cancer. We hope beyond all hopes never to even hear the word cancer, though it is happening more and more each day.

But the truth is, that third question really happens, well, not in the form of a question, rather, for most Hodgkin’s Lymphoma patients and survivors, we have heard this comment, “if you are going to get a cancer, Hodgkin’s is the one to get.” So, that is why I asked you in the form of a question. Imagine being told by a doctor, you are lucky to have gotten a particular cancer.

To be clear, no, lucky is the last thing I felt when I heard him say that to me. I was literally like “what the fuck is wrong with you!!! I don’t want any cancer!” If you refer to the image, you will see that Hodgkin’s ranks 6th of the top 26 cancers in terms of 5-year survival rates. Up until recently, I had never researched if Hodgkin’s was the best cancer to have. All I was aware of was the high remission rate, and I thought it meant I had a good chance at long term survival. Turns out that part was true, as I write this, I have had 37 years as a Hodgkin’s survivor.

While many of my fellow long term survivors echo my sentiment, others were not as strong, some even agreeing with their doctor. Here are some of the comments that have been shared:

“Having all these late side effects, I am not too sure about that.”

“I was told I had a good cancer (Hodgkin’s).”

“No cancer is good.”

“I am encouraged by the statistics. When I was young, breast cancer was considered mostly fatal.”

“What about all the late side effects caused by the treatments?”

“Hodgkin’s is the least of my worries at this point. All the side effects (cardiac) have flipped my world upside down.”

“No one wants cancer!”

“What really sucks… 3 of the 5 cancers above Hodgkin’s are linked to the the treatment for Hodgkin’s.” (and on a side note – along with the 3 referred to, I am also at risk of 4 other cancers in the top 26 from my treatments, along with my other issues)

“I felt lucky. I felt lucky that they knew what was wrong with me and they knew how to treat it.”

“I wanted to throw a punch!”

“I always put more emphasis on the “if” in the phrase.”

“No one from the top six says they are lucky.”

“I actually found the comment positive and hopeful.”

“No cancer is lucky and just look at the late side effects so many of us have to deal with from our treatments. It’s very scary living under the Sword Of Damacles.”

“It strengthened my inner belief that I would beat Hodgkin’s.”

While there were some who did not react as negatively as the majority of us took it, there is a range of reactions. I know personally, I wish the doctors would just stop saying it. And here is why. If you look at the graphic again, do you see any of those cancers stating 100% survivorship after five years? No. And the truth is, of the top six alone, there are too many that do not even hit remission, relapse, and worse, don’t survive.

Do not misunderstand me, after 37 years as a survivor, and in spite of all of my health issues from late side effects caused by my treatments for Hodgkin’s, I am still here experiencing my daughters lives as they continue to grow and experience life, I know that I am blessed. And I would not be here today, if it were not for the countless other survivors who have come into my life, young and old, newbies or long termers.

But that does not change, that the hardest thing to hear is “you have cancer,” and then follow that up with “you’re lucky.” Being told you have cancer does not feel lucky. It makes you angry. It makes you upset. And every word spoken after that, if it is not put in the right terms, can be hurtful.

I am glad that so many more cancers have higher favorable outcomes these days. That is one thing I have lived long enough to see. But I am also disappointed, that we have not gotten over the hump to find a 100% cure at this point.

This was a pin that I have from over fifty years ago, for a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society, to raise money for cancer research. Yes, I am disappointed that we still do not have that cure. And there really is no reason for that.

Cancer – How Important Is An Apostrophe?


September is National Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Awareness Month. It is also the month that Non-Hodgkin’s, Leukemia, all blood cancers, and childhood cancer are recognized.

Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is considered a “blood cancer.” It is also considered a childhood cancer, though it can happen at any age, but prevalently among teenagers and adolescents, most common among 15-19 year olds. I was twenty-two when I was diagnosed, and I am considered in that childhood range.

Then there is this oddity of information. Back in 1988, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease. Discovered by Thomas Hodgkin in 1832 when he reported enlargement of lymph nodes and spleens, he did not name the disease after himself. It was another physician by the name of Samuel Wilks, who in 1865 recognized Hodgkin’s earlier work, officially giving the name “Hodgkin’s Disease.”

It was in the later 1990’s that researchers established that the malignant Reed-Sternberg cells were usually developed from B lymphocytes. In other words, Hodgkin’s was no longer some sort of mysterious disease of the lymph nodes separate from other lymphomas. Hodgkin’s was actually a distinct type of lymphoma. And in 1997, at a WHO advisory meeting, debate occurred and Hodgkin’s Disease was changed to Hodgkin’s Lymphoma officially in 2001. It is only recently that I have referred to my Hodgkin’s as lymphoma.

And now, twenty-five years later, a new issue has come up with the name. It is small in stature, but it appears to matter to some, the apostrophe in the name “Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.” A fellow Hodgkin’s survivor (I am still using the apostrophe) pointed out, that it did not appear to be grammatically correct, as there was no “S” at the end of Hodgkin’s name, oops, just no getting away from that apostrophe. But historically “Hodgkin’s disease” literally meant the disease described by Hodgkin, so the possessive apostrophe was natural. But modern medical terminology increasingly avoids possessive eponyms (I wonder how others with other major illnesses like Lou Gehrig’s Disease or Parkinson’s syndrome care about this grammatical issue). Hodgkin did not “own” the lymphoma, but his name is the identifying label. Thus, the preferred modern wording today is “Hodgkin Lymphoma”, no apostrophe, no “s”, which honestly does not even sound right.

So now, I have lived long enough to see three different eras of Hodgkin’s (I am forever going to use the apostrophe, though I have resigned myself to using “lymphoma”). There is the Hodgkin’s Disease era, the Hodgkin’s Lymphoma era, and now the Hodgkin Lymphoma era.

And that is the irony. Thomas Hodgkin himself never called it Hodgkin’s disease. He knew he had a major discovery. He just probably never thought that punctuation would become a major part of that discovery.

And to be clear, I am a 37 year survivor of Hodgkin’s Disease.

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