Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Education”

Speaking On Cancer Survival


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In less than two weeks, I get to claim a milestone that I never once thought possible.  In fact, even today, I do not think that people believe that this type of milestone is possible in spite of the advances of modern medicine and technology.  But on March 3, 2015, I will recognize my 25th anniversary of the final treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  For the past year I have been a little bit more aware of the time, and as I often do, I minimize just what such a milestone means.  For me, I always said that I would hit this mark, and go further.  I never paid attention to statistics and I did the best I could to control negative thinking about recurrences and other health issues that I have developed over the years.

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My late brother-in-law who passed away from Lou Gehrig’s Disease often scolded me, whenever I compared my ills or my accomplishments to he and his situation, “though we both have serious health problems, and yes, I will die much sooner than I want, that should never take away from paying attention to your pains and discomforts, but also your celebrations.”

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And it is true.  I have said goodbye to so many friends who battled cancer, and I have so many that are still battling cancer, some for the second time, third time, or more.  And as my heart aches for all, I know that they are happy for me hitting this milestone when it comes.

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I have spent the majority of my survivorship, educating and supporting cancer patients, survivors, friends and families, and caregivers.  I have spoken in front of thousands over the last 24 years which shows that this disease can be beat.  I wanted to give hope that there was life after cancer.

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This year, I will soon begin my “25th Anniversary Survivor” speaking circuit.  And as I have always done in support of cancer support and awareness, there is no fee to hire me for your speaking engagement, other than travel arrangements if required, but my words are free.  So if you have a Relay For Life event, Light The Night, or any other cancer related event, please contact me as soon as possible if you would like me to speak at your engagement.  Contact me at pedelmanjr@yahoo.com and I will get back to you within 24 hours to book your engagement.

Yes, as it has gotten closer, I have gotten quite emotional as of late.  I know this is a big deal.

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Naples…A Tale Of Two Cities


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I moved here in June of 2014 soon after the passing of my father.  My life was in a tailspin juggling my father’s illness, my second divorce, protecting my children from the effects of the divorce, losing my job, and of course, struggling with my own health issues.  There are two main reasons that I chose to move here, one of which I will discuss freely because deciding so was to hopefully remedy several of the issues that I was dealing with.  Southern Florida is in the beginning stages of a major growth economically with several major companies looking to place either home offices or satellite locations here.  It seemed like it was one of the best places to afford me a chance to replace my income and benefits that were necessary for several reasons.

But I have learned that the area of Naples and surrounding areas have two major distinctions of notoriety.  One is quite obvious, the other, not so much.

The first distinction, is a time period called “season.”  In the north, we had four seasons – Summer, Autumn, Winter, and Spring.  In southern Florida, we have “snowbird” season.

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Just as geese can be seen flying south for the winter, human “snow birds” also fly south for the winter.  Snowbirds can arrive as early as October, and stay usually until just after Easter or April.  About the time that the weather warms up back north, so the birds fly back north.  I first heard of this phenomenon with my Uncle Eddie and Aunt Mary who made this annual trek as long as I had known them.

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Up north, the signs are simple that it is time for the “birds” to migrate south.  But for those of us who live here, and this being my first exposure to “season”, we get only one warning, and by then, it is too late.

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As soon as the car carriers begin to arrive, we know that season has begun.  The parade of license plates look more like an automobile “miss America” pageant with nearly every state represented.  Of course, the influx of cars results in a lot more traffic, not just in number of vehicles, but also incidents.

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While the above photos are meant to be humorous, in reality, it is far from it.  While the driving habits of the elderly are probably acceptable back home, when you insert them into traffic more then three times they are used to, combined with poor driving courtesies such as using turn signals, proper breaking distances, and not making a turn from the furthest lane over from the intersection, the areas are subject to a minimum of at least one accident a day.  This is serious.  The fact that driving on the 405 in California or the Schuylkill Expressway in Philadelphia is safer than driving down here during season says a lot.

There are other inconveniences also from longer lines at gas stations, hour long waits for dinner reservations, and forget about going to enjoy anything with the word “free” attached to it.  And so, we locals sit back and wait for the sign, the sign that it is time for the “snowbirds” to migrate back to their homes…

snowbird4  the return of the carriers.

Another population type in the Naples are the singles, and by that divorced or widowed.  Unlike the majority of “snowbirds” who simply are in Naples for their own enjoyment, the divorced and widowed of Naples provide a comfort to new arrivals of the same class.  I have often heard this area described as an “island of misfit toys,” much like in the Christmas classic “Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer.”

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This class of citizen has a personal empathy that provides understanding and support to those who may struggle with their possible new situation.

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I came here alone, with no family or friends, only knowing a handful of people that I had met in prior visits.  There may be opinions about people who have been divorced as being “broken” or “flawed” like the holiday special toys and it is quite the contrary.  And just as the misfit toys support each other, friends down here do the same thing.  I have met a lot of divorced people, and have also met many who have been widowed.  And while I am one of the new people down here, I have been made to feel welcome here, and am offered a lot of emotional support to deal with the various emotional issues that I face every day.  They all have been through it.  Some have gone through more, some have not.  Some have issues still continuing.  Several have long distance relationships with their children just as I do.  The thing is that everyone understands what we all are going through, and there is no judgment.

With those that I have met down here, I know that in time, things will get better.  Most have met my daughters and look forward to their return during the summer again.  This is a good time for my children to visit me because the population is much less without the snowbirds.

But this is my home now, for better or worse.  For me, definitely better.

A Bigger Disappointment


If you have been following recent posts by me, you know who I was routing for in this year’s Super Bowl.  And by now, the results are in, the Seattle Seahawks lost the game to the New England Patriots.  What you may not know, is that I am pretty much okay with the end result.  Sure it is nice to have your favorite team play for a championship, and yes, even nicer if your team wins.  But let us be real, how boring would the NFL be if it were to send the same teams to the big game year after year after year.  There are way more other teams that have not won the big game.  But for my favorite team, they did have their year last year, so I will not be greedy.

But admittedly, I did have hopes that the game would turn out in Seattle’s favor.  But some very odd plays at the very end of the game, combined with what nearly all watching the game (routing for either team) felt was the most unusual call to make on a play that would definitely decide the result, pale in comparison to a comment that I overheard today.

I am not one to sit and listen to talk radio as normally comments made by the hosts are almost always going to be one sided, directed by the credos of either major political party.  So because of conversations like that, when I have a choice, I listen only to music.  But today, unfortunately I was in a situation that left me trapped for about five minutes listening to the most vile, bigoted, and hateful conversation being broadcast over someone’s radio.

It is a shame that in the 21st century that I am even going to say that I was witness to the filth that came out from one of the biggest bigots this country knows.  And only because I believe in freedom of speech, I have to accept his rights to spew his hateful garbage.

I am referring to Rush Limbaugh.  In my life, I am only vaguely familiar with who he is, as my stepfather unfortunately liked to listen to him while occasionally driving me to school.  One of the things I disagreed with my stepfather was his “influences” of which Limbaugh and a cartoonish buffoon by the name of Morton Downey, Jr. (just think a political version of Jerry Springer).

It seems not much has changed for Limbaugh since then.  I know that he has had some image issues over the years, and honestly he has brought them on himself.  Reading news clips that include him, in my opinion, I would consider him a bigot, a pig, a real jackass.  Today, I confirmed it.

On this person’s radio, Limbaugh was talking about his propaganda topics of the day, and then turned his ire towards of all things, the Seattle Seahawks.  Normally the putz is usually after the President of the United States, women’s rights, or racism.  What could this jerk obviously have to say about my favorite football team other than perhaps that he lost in his office pool.

I am going to paraphrase the next part, because I did not have a pen to notate his exact words, so this is all from memory.  Limbaugh claimed that the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl because of racism.  And here was his proof.  The decision to pass the football in an obvious run situation by the best running back in football currently, was because the quarterback, Russell Wilson, is a lighter skin color of black, than the player who had the best chance to win the game, who was a darker tone of black skin color.  Then also made reference to the character of the lighter colored player versus the darker skinned player.

Seriously, I cannot believe that anyone listens to this ass, but sadly I can confirm at least two people were indeed listening to his trash.  Worse, these individuals most likely believe what he was saying.

I do not agree with the decision made by the Seahawks to pass on that particular down.  But as I sit on this side of the television screen, it is not up to me.  But I also know, during that final minute, there were at least two other scenarios that could have made the game come out, still in the Seahawks favor.  But at no time, EVER you bigoted jerk, did race ever have anything to do with the result of the game.  Your comments show your true color, and in spite of the right of freedom of speech, your comments show there is still so much to improve when it comes to race relations and your comments not only show your ignorance, but also turn the clocks back every time you open your mouth.

 

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