Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Animals”

“Daddy’s Never Going To Let Us Have A Puppy”


I am biased, my daughters are beautiful and cute.  But they are also manipulative.  I caught on to just how powerful both are many years ago, and it was not long after that they realized how to deal with me, being aware of their powers of the mind.  For others however, you will not be as lucky.  Even Wendy has only caught on just a couple of years ago.

It was during dinner, when Madison blurted out, “Daddy, can I have a chameleon?”  In spite of being outnumbered by four-legged animals in our house, my answer was still going to be “no”, because I am only willing to go as far as furry animals for pets.  As usual, Madison turns on her negotiating skills, all animals appear to be reptilian in nature.  However, once she realizes that my answer is always going to be “no”, she changes her performance level.  She runs through nearly all emotions, beginning with cute, then disappointment, then anger, then sorrow.

Of course I am firm, and I am relying on Wendy to hold her ground, which she is not known for.  Just like that, tears start to fall from Madison’s one eye.  Dammit, Madison is taking this to a whole new level.  I know that I am still good.  My attention is on Wendy hoping she will not crack.  “Hold on Wendy, you can get through this,” I say to myself.  And then an odd thing happens and there is no reason for it.  Madison starts laughing, but the tears are still coming out hard and furious.

This is no longer funny.  This goes beyond crocodile tears.  Madison can cry on demand.  The only time I was not prepared for Madison and tears, was in the event of a painful event, whether physical or emotional.  But as a manipulation?  But what Madison did not realize, is that Wendy would now adapt to this new strategy.

Both Madison and Emmalie have great hearts, endless compassion and empathy.  But Madison has a whole other level of the emotions when it comes to animals.  I cannot recall if I ever wrote about our Pittsburgh kitten, if not, I will have to put that one down, because it is the classic tale of how to make Dad crumble, and in front of family and friends.

There have probably been at least a half dozen attempts by all the females in our house to increase the animal population.  There are many reasons at this point for me to say no, from expenses to safety.  Safety being sensativity to increasing the risks of developing allergies.  The more concentrated and amount of fur, the better the chances of the immune system turning on us.  Then there is the fact that Pollo is a much older dog, and may not do well with the energy of a young puppy.  While some may think he would do well with the company, the truth is, that it would be an experiment.  And finally, I want to give all my attention to Pollo at this point.  I do not know how much longer I can expect him to go at thirteen years of age for a golden retriever.

And so, another attempt was made last night.  With an upcoming birthday party for my younger daughter, I spent my evening cleaning up my yard.  My family has already gotten me once before with the “surprise pet trick,” and I still never see it coming.  But I figured that since they were coming home from karate lessons, and Emmy’s birthday coming soon, that when my daughters arrived back at home and said, “Daddy, you need to come and see,” I clearly was not expecting anything other than something to do with the party or birthday.  So evidently I was not moving fast enough, Wendy came outside to greet me instead.

She flipped open her phone to reveal a puppy.  Not just any puppy, but she had taken the girls into the one local pet store that we both despise, because we know where they get their animals and the conditions that the animals are subjected to.  But with two young children tagging along, it makes the job of the pet store a lot easier to sell the animals.

So, here I was covered in grass clippings from weed wacking, and two normally beautiful little girls filled to the brim with excitement wanted me to get into the car, and take the ride with them, back to the pet store.  The dog would be ours if we chose.  The problem for my family, it needed to be unanimous, and the decision was not going to be.

This is what I gave up for my selfish decision.  My youngest was going to make it the best Father’s Day ever.  Madison hugged me like I was about to be shipped overseas.  And then out came the stories on just how cute the puppy was.  It was a great assault on my empathetic system.  But as I am known to do, I made the difficult situation for all of us.  I had to say “no.”

Of course, the ten year old mind, and the eight year old mind do not understand my decision.  Together they have oversimplified the conversation in that Daddy will never allow them to get a puppy again which was not fair because Pollo was not a puppy when we adopted them.  I did my best to assure them, this was not the case.  But simply it was going to t take time.  I knew they would not understand that.  But I had to try.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pollo – A Lesson Learned From Man’s Best Friend


Pollo is the greatest dog in the world as far as dogs go.  As far as humans go, he is one of the greatest friends to have.

His life began in a puppy mill outside of Lancaster, but out of our ignorance about origins of most pet shop dogs, he ended up in our family.  We could have worked him like many other golden retrievers, but instead, let him do what he did best, be a dog.  We have a huge fenced in yard, so he can just patrol or run full tilt if he would like.  He also has gotten to enjoy our inground pool whether jumping in from the side or off from the diving board.  In recent years, he has enjoyed better than the kibble I have strictly served him courtesy of youg children.

Pollo is now 13, which in people years is 97 years old.  But guess what.  He still has that puppy-excitement in him.  That is all we have ever seen from him.  The groomer often refers to him as “the Happy Golden.”  We have taken him to the vet every year for his annual exams and shots.

Our works schedules were not the best for someone who has been so faithful and loyal a companion as Pollo.  Having only a couple of felines keeping him company, he seemed content just napping all day, and occasionally rooting through an occasional bath towel.  But the moment we came home, right by our side.

It is hard for Pollo these days.  Over the years, he has developed “fatty tumors” which our vet has told us, for a dog his age, not really an issue at this point, as long as they do not cause him any discomfort.  There are several now, and some quite large.  But Pollo shows no signs of discomfort.  I am trained in animal care, so I know what to look for, head tilt, eating and bathroom habits, lethargy, and so on.  He is still the puppy from thirteen years ago.

His decision to enjoy a mushroom buffet in our backyard was not one of his shining moments of intelligence last year, but following that incident, his age is beginning to show very quickly, and not just from the whitening of his muzzle.

Though is favorite spot to get comfortable is on our hardwood floors, it is nearly impossible for him to stand if on that surface.  And he now struggles to get up the stairs to our bedroom, “ours” meaning Wendy, myself, and Pollo – where he has been his whole life. 

Pollo has always shadowed Wendy and I.  While he spends a great deal of time sleeping, he wants the company.  No matter which room of the house we are in, he is there.  If I am sitting on a particular chair in one of the rooms that he is already in, even in his sleep, somehow he moves towards me, that within minutes, he is laying on top of my feet.  There is nothing like fur slippers during July.  Upstairs, downstairs, inside, outside, he is with us all the time.  He does not necessarily have separation anxiety, it is just that when he knows we are at home, he wants to be with us.

For some time now, he has been approaching our stairwell with great reservation.  He will climb with his front paws resting on the first step, and just stare at the mountainous climb before him.  I imagine he takes in a deep breath and then begins his laborous ascent, one step at a time.  When he arrives at the top, he proceeds right to his open cage in our bedroom, and plops right down inside it.  I have not closed the door in years as he has never been a dog to jump up on the bed, even if he wanted to, between gravity and his size, he would have as much success as Louie Anderson doing a double front summersault of a 10 meter platform.  But at some point, he ventures from his metal cave/den, and then lays down by my side of the bed which is where he is when I wake up.  He waits until I am completely ready for work, and have fed the guinea pig, and then he follows me downstairs and we complete the rest of our morning routine with each other.

But a few days ago, the task of going up steps is clearly becoming too much of a burden.  Still no whimper or obvious sign of pain or distress, he is intent on staying with us during the overnight.  For the last two nights, I have blocked off our den (leading into our kitchen), and both times he has bulled his way through the chairs (clearly not being able to hurdle them), and each of the last two mornings, there he has been, right by my side.  Even as I heard his paws on the hardwood floors last night as we turned in for the night, and went downstairs to interfere with his plans to get up the stairs, returned him back to the den, at some point, he made his way through the blockade again.

I could not ask for a better dog, or committed and loyal friend.

Why Paul’s Heart?


Why “Paul’s Heart” and why now?

I began “Paul’s Heart” as a step to writing a book, about what, I do not know.  As you can see, I am trying to keep all my options on this blog.  Perhaps, just as important, what I am trying to write about, is why?  I believe that some how, if I can reach even just one person who has gone through similar an experience like I have, or perhaps even inspired by someone who has had to deal with for so much.

But what if that person has no way to express how he or she feels.  I am hoping that this blog does just that, give everyone a voice.  By recognizing me and my limitations, they know that they will take care of us all.  I am laying it all out there.  It is a huge risk on my part because of employment, insurance, and just plain mean people.

However I am hoping that if that time should ever come that my health issues result in a bad judgment against me, as long as my blog has helped one person, then “Paul’s Heart” has been worth it to me.  If you are that one person, I am willing to be your voice.  I am willing to stand by you and help you find the care that you need.  I am willing to offer genuine encouragement and tell you it is okay when you do not want it.

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