Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Animals”

Holiday Memories – Santa’s Close Call


The Winter holiday season, while being one of the happiest times of the year for so many, especially children, and adults who take the meaning of Christmas to a whole new “Clark Griswald” level of Christmas, can also be some of the most difficult times for many.  And I am one of those.  In spite of what I had hoped for a turnaround with my “holiday attitude” once my daughters came into my life, my feelings around this time of year continue to struggle.  This is not to say that my holidays have been a complete failure at all.  It just means that I have a difficulty celebrating it either so early, or so extravagantly as many do.  But once the big day is here, I get through the day, with excitement thanks once again to my children, and then I go back to reality.  It has been this way now for nearly 40 years.  That’s right, I cannot even blame it on my cancer, which coincidently I was diagnosed with just before the Thanksgiving holiday twenty six years ago.  I cannot remember the last incident free holiday season going all the way back to 1976, on my 9th birthday this month, when my house caught fire from an errant spark of a match lighting my birthday candles.  From that point on, I dealt with one holiday death of a family member each year, or some other struggle, which took on a whole new meaning once I was diagnosed with cancer in 1988.

But as I said, I am not a total Scrooge or Grinch for the holiday.  I do have fond memories of Christmases gone by.  One memory that will always come first in my heart belongs to my oldest daughter, Madison.

Christmas 1

It was Madison’s first Christmas with us and it was going to be one that even at her age, she would appreciate the magic of Christmas and Santa Claus.  And I would do my best to make sure that it would be a very special Christmas for her.

December 2007 - 2

Yes, I did what many other Dads did for their children did and dressed up like Santa Claus.  But clearly, after insisting that she get some sleep, and not wait up for Santa, I had to have some sort of proof to her, besides the presents, that the big guy was in fact inside of our house.  And so, after we put Madison to bed, I went to work.  I put on nearly the entire outfit, red suit, beard, hat and then had my wife (at that time), take pictures and video of me, dressed as Santa, delivering gifts under the tree, eating the yummy treats that were left for me, and even stopped to have a little playtime with a dog who was always on Santa’s “nice” list.  My final stop, was into Madison’s room, to place one small gift under her personal tree (the amount of Christmas trees in my house is another post).  All of this was caught on film.  All I had to do is wait for the next morning for one excited little girl to find all the gifts left for her.  She wasted no time.

Of course I allowed her to open all of her gifts first before revealing that it was Santa who brought her the presents.  She was not disappointed.

Then we had the following conversation:

Dad:  Hey Maddy, you know Santa Claus was here last night right?

Madison:  Yes Daddy (very excited).

Dad:  Well, I had the camera set up to take pictures and video to see if we could catch him bringing your gifts.

Madison was very excited at that point and could not wait to see that Santa was indeed in her house.  Her smile stretched from one ear to the other as she watched the video of Santa putting the presents under the tree, eating the cookies and drinking the milk, and playing with our golden retriever Pollo.The still shots, like the one shown above, showed Santa in various positions inside the house as well.

Madison:  Daddy, why does “ho ho” (her name for Santa) have your sneakers on?

Yep.  I said I put “almost” all of the costume on.  I did not realize my camera person was going to focus on my shoes as well, so I did not put the black boot overlays on which would have hid my sneakers.  But the bigger point was this, from that point on, we realized just how attentive to details our daughter was.  You see, Madison, like many other small children, love to walk in their parents’ shoes, men’s or women’s.

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Yep.  She loved wearing mine.  And I took it for granted that a little girl, just because she was excited about seeing the big man in red, would not notice his surroundings.

Dad:  Well Madison, his boots must have been really dirty from climbing down the chimney and he didn’t want to make our carpets dirty.  He saw my sneakers, and must have put them on while he was in the house.

In ice hockey, we would call that one “an off-the-goal-post save”.

We still did the same routine every year after for a few more years, but those times, the camera was kept from the waist up.

As for Madison?  She still has those eagle eye skills for detail, and even just when she is on the cusp of not believing in Santa any more, she still holds on for one more year.

 

Happy Thanksgiving From Paul’s Heart


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Happy Thanksgiving to everyone following “Paul’s Heart.”  I am thankful for so many things in my life, and this blog is something I am not only proud of for the number of people I have reached, but am so thankful for all the support that has ever been offered.

This officially begins one of the busiest, expensive, stressful, and memorable times of the year.  For some, it is one of the most difficult times of the year to endure.  Many families are struggling financially or have suffered personal loss, and for some, this may be the first year that they are going through this holiday season under those conditions.

Others may be in situations that just seem outright sad, going through holiday struggles year after year.  “Paul’s Heart” had its origin twenty-six years ago when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  I have not had a “typical” Winter holiday season since, ever.  There has always been some sort of crisis, tragedy, or struggle to endure.  But that is what I do, I get through it.  I have to.  I have two beautiful little girls who depend on me, and enjoy the holidays.  They do not know why I have such difficulties with the holiday season.

I am not alone.  Many of my friends here are in a similar situation as me.  They are away from family and celebrating Thanksgiving with friends.  And no matter what the meal will consist of today, we will all make the most of our holiday today, and we are thankful for that.

There are actually meaningful football games to day, unlike years past, where a team just shows up to play on Thanksgiving.  At least four teams playing have playoff implications.  I know where my eyes will be glued tonight.

 

PART_1417100861070_Image1417100860969   GO SEAHAWKS!!!!

And then, in the wee hours of the morning, another new Thanksgiving weekend experience for me.

5 - On Our Way To China

I will be on an early morning flight to be reunited with my daughters.  This will be our second Thanksgiving since the divorce was filed, but this is the first one that I have been away from them so long.  My mother has made this trip possible for me, and for that I am very thankful.

As we approach the Winter holidays, all I want is for my daughters to know how much I love them, how much I miss them.  And just as my past visits with them, that is all they will be told.  I am keeping everything about the divorce from our conversations.  I know this is not easy for them.  And it would be even worse for them, if they knew how one parent treated the other.  The children love both of us and this season is going to be critical to the children if that love is to survive.  And just like every other holiday season, I do plan to get through it, and hope the next year will finally be the time I get to say “Happy Thanksgiving” without following the phrase with “but…”

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.  Girls, Daddy cannot wait to see you tomorrow.  I love you.

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A Year Gone


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It has been a year now since I made the humane decision to say goodbye to my best friend Pollo.  It had been a decision that I dreaded for nearly three years as his health began its slow decline.  But I had promised my friend that I would never let him suffer.

I bought Pollo as a puppy from a store called “Pets Plus.”

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The pet store had done its job well.  The store was clean.  The puppies in their little windows all looked cute and not overly playful.  I had it in my mind that I wanted to purchase a Golden Retriever.  And there was this little fourteen pound bundle of fur.  He was coming with AKC papers so that if I decided to breed him or show him, I would be able to prove his being a pure bred Golden Retriever.  Of course I bought all the necessary supplies, large dog cage, food, toys, and a sign that the store insisted I had to buy and said, “Beware Of Dog.”

I expect anyone who is an animal lover is probably screaming at their laptop or Ipad right now, “YOU DON’T BUY DOGS OR CATS FROM PET STORES!!!  THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER WAYS TO GET A PET!!!”.  What I uncovered just months after Pollo’s purchase, taught me one of the most valuable lessons when it comes to pets, NEVER, NEVER buy a pet from a pet store.

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Goldens are a natural water dog, and Pollo was no exception.  I had taken Pollo to a family members inground swimming pool, and he had a blast.  On our way back home, Pollo was sitting next to me in the front seat, looked up at me, and let out a whimper of distress that I had never heard in my life before, and collapsed.  I pulled the car over, and immediately looked at him to see what was happening.  His eyes had rolled into the back of his head, and his tongue was fading into a whitish color, and he was not breathing.

I raced to the first vet hospital that I could find, and carried his lifeless body inside.  I could not believe this was happening.  I was told to wait outside of the exam room in the waiting room.  About a half an hour later, the exam room door opened, and out came Pollo, tail wagging, huge smile on his face, prancing on over to me as if nothing had happened.  While I was happy to see my young friend recover, I was also confused.

The vet had explained to me that it was quite possible that it had been some sort of cardiac episode.  That if it would happen again, she was going to recommend putting a heart monitor on him to see if they could determine what was causing the problem.

Being an animal caretaker myself, as well as a detail-oriented patient myself, I knew that the more information that was available, the easier it would be to find a cause of this episode.  My lesson began.

I went back to Pets Plus for one thing.  I had not received Pollo’s AKC paperwork yet, which would have had the names of his parents on it.  It was simple, I wanted to find the health records of the sire and bitch (dad and mom) of Pollo to see if there was any kind of health history.  Long story short, the pet store fought me on this, objecting, saying that they would not do so.  At that point, they handed me the AKC paperwork also.  But the paperwork had glaring omissions and errors.  I now realized something was seriously going on with this poor puppy, and the pet store was hiding whatever it was.

There is a line in Stephen King’s movie “Storm Of The Century” where the lead character and villain repeats the same line, explaining to everyone his simple request, “Give me what I want, and I will go away.”  That best describes my personality.  I was not being unreasonable up until that point.  I was just looking for information as to the health background of my little fur friend Pollo.  It would not have cost one penny to give me this information.  Instead, what I discovered, only raised my ire and brought on a new cause for me.

Pollo was purchased from Pets Plus pet store.  Pollo was purchased from a puppy mill in Lancaster county Pennsylvania.  Pets Plus denies this adamantly, as most all pet stores who sell puppies will deny, but they are doing so with a technicality.  Most pet stores buy their puppies from a broker who drives to the various puppy mills where the broker buys the puppies.  Bottom line, most puppies sold from pet stores come from puppy mills.  Eventually, I would unleash the USDA, the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture, and many more agencies on this pet store chain, as well as the Stoltzfus family where Pollo came from.  Eventually, as I decided to pursue legal options against Pets Plus, an unusual invitation came to me from Warner Brothers Studios in Manhattan.  It was an offer from the “People’s Court” to appear and have my case settled in front of Judge Marilyn Millian.  I was actually shocked that the pet store would agree to appearing on television with all of the evidence I had against them, but the did.  And so, Pollo and I travelled to Manhattan, by Warner’s request for his attendance, and I won my case against Pets Plus.  You can see the summary of the case at the following link:

http://articles.mcall.com/2002-07-31/news/3422019_1_puppy-pollo-pets

I have a videotape of the episode, but nothing digital was available to place in this blog (sorry).

But while the story occurs to have a sad origin, and clearly I will never condone buying any pet from a pet store, I have learned that there are so many other pets in need of homes.  For those that want “pure bred” pets, even they are available through animal shelters and other breed specific rescue organizations.  And they all need homes.  I bring this up, because the holidays are right around the corner.  There are plenty of animals that need homes without continuing the practice of overbreeding worn out mothers who are eventually just thrown away when they can have no more litters.  Many pets bought from pet stores end up being abandoned during the holiday season, often to end up in shelters, and unless adopted, end up with a worse fate than their origins.

But for being a “puppy mill” dog, and I consider him having been rescued, he gave me nearly one third of my life with memories and loyalty.  I allowed Pollo to simply be my friend.  I did not “show” or breed him as I would have had he been a AKC registered dog.  I did not compete with him in agility competitions as many goldens are known for their intelligence.  I just let him be “him.”  And he was happy, always happy.  And that is exactly how I will always remember him.  I gave him nearly fifteen years, (unheard of for a golden retriever), but the life he gave me can never be put into words.

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Pollo, I hope you are having a great time up in heaven.  I know you will be waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge.  I will see you there.

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