Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Politics”

07 Jun 2014

Post #300


I am never going to produce a major blockbuster movie like “300”. Nor will I ever have an opportunity to hit 300 homeruns. In fact the closest I have ever come to achieving 300 of anything would have been a perfect game in bowling back in my late 20’s. I threw strikes in the first nine frames, and then tapped a ten-pin, spared it, then completed the game with another strike in the 11th frame.

With my blog, I am finally achieving a 300, my 300th post on “Paul’s Heart.” My posts are at over 8000 views and the comments of support and appreciation are numerous. This is a big deal for me, but pales in comparison into the week ahead that I am going to have.

Next weekend, Father’s Day weekend, I will be memorializing my father who passed away three weeks ago. After discussing it with my siblings, we felt it was an appropriate tribute to our father. Just as many who have gone through such a personal loss, I am sure that you can understand the struggle to deal with “the first Father’s Day without my father.”

At the same time, it is Father’s Day weekend, something that I have always looked forward to since before I adopted my daughters. Besides the emotional toll of my father’s memorial to deal with, this will be the first Father’s Day for me with just my daughters. Due to the recent custody agreement I made with their mother, and my father’s passing, I have not been able to see them in a long time, the longest time apart.

I speak to my daughters every day, and on a couple of occasions I have been able to see my daughters courtesy of Facetime. I will get to spend the entire weekend with them, and I have a lot of activities planned with them. But next weekend will not be just about me. Every day I have thought about the hurt and confusion that my daughters must have. Which is why I will pull out all the stops to show them next weekend that the divorce does not change who their mother is, or who their father is. It is important to me to make sure that my children do not blame themselves for the divorce, that the divorce was an issue between just their mother and I.

The girls get to do a lot of fun things with their mother, and next weekend, I cannot wait to spend time with them.

My story is not unique, as there are probably thousands of other dads who have a similar story heading into next weekend. My parents divorced when I was young. So I have the perspective from both child and parent.

Next weekend is not about quantity, but rather the quality of the time that I get with my daughters.

Posted in Adoption, Animals, Bullying, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Food, Inspired By..., Politics, Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart, Uncategorized | Leave a comment
03 Mar 2014
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Half Of My Life With Cancer


If you have followed “Paul’s Heart,” you notice a countdown box off to the right of the screen. It has a milestone, that to the majority of people, represent something once thought impossible, surviving 25 years from cancer. Yes, today I begin my 25th year of having survived Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. So the countdown should change from twelve months to go, to days left to go.

I am a 24 year survivor of cancer. I have lived half of my life in spite of a disease that kills millions and yet a cure for all seems so far away. Another year down, I know it is no small feat. But once again, as always, my heart is too heavy to celebrate yet another year gone by. I miss so many that I have had to say goodbye to, and this year gone by I include Kim, Karen, Peter, and Michael.

Last week, as I sat across from my father in his hospital room, a nurse asked my father who had been just told his cancer had returned, “what would you like?” To which my father responded, “to survive cancer like my son.”

Today I recognize, but not celebrate, my 24th completed year of remission for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. It is a sad commentary that in the twenty-first century, we still have not found a cure for cancer for everyone. I am disappointed that follow-up guidelines are not more well known so that survivors are better followed-up for late developing side effects. I want to see better surveillance of patients for critical side effects for drugs that are known to have the possibility of causing side effects, some potentially fatal.

We are so close. Seriously, part of the survivor guilt I deal with, is why I have gotten to live, while so many do not. I am hoping that if anything at this point, is that I may see in my lifetime, a cure for cancer is found, patients are followed more closely during their treatments, and survivors are better followed-up. And as the days count down to one next year, I want to celebrate.

Posted in Adoption, Animals, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Food, Inspired By..., Politics, Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart
03 Feb 2014

America The Beautiful… And Diverse


Sunday, February 2nd, 2014 was my day. I was finally getting to see my Seattle Seahawks football team play in the Super Bowl. While I was confident that they would win, I never suspected the rout that took place against the top seeded team from the opposing conference. While I saw the Seahawks win, I would much rather have experienced a closer game. But there is currently something leaving even a more bitter taste in my mouth right now.

The other highlight of Super Bowl Sundays is the onslaught of “all or nothing” commercials who are rumored to have paid up to $4 million dollars for just a 30 second spot during the big game. One such commercial has set off a huge controversy which really shows just how far we still have to go as far as recognizing our country as one of the greatest in how we treat people and their various cultures.

Years ago, Coca Cola used the song “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing” in their commercials, to demonstrated the world and all of its citizens having the ability to get along with everyone. Okay, it was really to show that everyone all over the world liked Coca Cola. In the modern version, Coca Cola used the song “America The Beautiful”, again with a warm fuzzy message, but subliminally, everyone still loves Coke. But the wrench in the works is that Coca Cola dared to have the song sung in various languages.

I am going to be sarcastic here (I feel I actually need to offer that disclaimer)…

Imagine the horror that television viewers witnessed that singers of the song, “America The Beautiful” would dare sing the song in languages other than English. SACRILEGE!!!

I am now turning off the sarcasm. First off, the United States does not have an official language, many countries do. Our country does not. Second off, the song was not our National Anthem, “The Star Spangled Banner”, and again, while many may express principle, if someone wanted to sing our National Anthem in their native tongue, there is nothing to be done about it.

So what is the issue at this controversy? Are people now pissed off because we have gone beyond having to press #1 for English and #2 for Espanol? Has the frustration grown beyond having to craft a sign printed in several languages? In school long ago, I had the opportunity to study both Spanish and Italian languages. I do not think that I had any plan to use either of them, but I took those courses anyway. No harm had come to me as a result, and to be honest, I have never had a use for them. Occasionally I may understand bits and pieces of a conversation, but no harm has ever come to me. Perhaps if I travel to Spain, Mexico, or Italy, those languages may be of use to me.

But as the parent of two beautiful little girls, who coincidently happen to be adopted from China, I plan of having them learn their native language fluently. In the process, I will probably pick up some of the language. Guess what, they are both American citizens. They are learning the English language as their primary language, but they will learn Chinese, and any other language they so choose. The bottom line is, America is beautiful. And the fact that so many cultures recognize that, and sing a song about America, in their native tongue is not offensive at all, as a select group has expressed their bigoted outrage.

No flags were burned. No embassies were bombed. We still have not solved how to prevent school shootings. Poverty is still a major concern in our country. But it is deemed important to direct attention to a song, not a National Anthem, just a song, that was sung in a different language than what we had always heard it sung. What is embarrassing and outraging, is the narrow-mindedness that a Bangladeshi cannot sing “America The Beautiful”, nor can a Mexican, a Japanese, Chinese, Irish, Italian. There are bigger problems in the world and our country than “Oh hermoso para los cielos espaciosos,Para las ondas ambarinas del grano,Para majestuosas montañas de color púrpuraPor encima de la llanura de fruto!América!”

And yes, I do happen to speak 99% English and only a few words of Spanish, Italian, and Chinese. I applaud Coca Cola for recognizing what a great and diverse country the United States of America really is.

Posted in Adoption, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Politics and tagged , , | Leave a comment

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