Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Animals”

Remembering A Special Friend


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My ex wife and I bought Pollo, originally named Apollo Buckshadow Of Chatham Towamencin, a pure bred Golden Retriever.  He was 8 weeks old and weighed all of 14 pounds.  In spite of a restricted and strict diet, he still grew to one hundred and five pounds of pure happiness.

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Pollo was always known by everyone as a “happy” Golden.  I have often been asked if there was any secret to Pollo living to well over 14 years of age, missing his 15th birthday by only a few months.  I let Pollo be Pollo.  I let him be a friend, a companion.  There were never any expectations of him.  And he only expected one thing of me, to come home every day.

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Two things were his favorite thing to do, swim (as all water dogs do), and play in the snow.  He loved going outside, taking a good strong whiff of the winter air, and he could “smell” snow was coming.  Because every time he would come back into the house, five minutes later he would be at the door wanting to go back outside, expecting to see snow falling.  And he got quite vocal about it, in spite of my assurances to him that it had not snowed yet.

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But what made him the best friend in the whole world, was his loyalty and his compassion.  Very sensitive to when anyone in the house was not feeling right, I recall his reaction to when I came home following a week in the hospital following my open heart surgery.  With a freshly repaired breast bone, my biggest fear would be that Pollo would greet me in usual fashion, rough and playful.  Instead, one of the few times I would ever describe Pollo as calm, he simply walked right up to me, and stood by my side as I walked through the front door.  And that is exactly how he would be each and every time I fell seriously ill.

He was awesome with our children and got along with the each and every cat that came to our home.

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We were lucky to have Pollo as long as we had him, and for the most part he was completely healthy.  Which is why I had always hoped that he would simply fade into the sunset in his older years.  My fear that someday, I would have to make the most heartbreaking decision in my life.  That day came last November.  Pollo’s eyesight, hearing, and ability to walk were evident of his age.  But as long as Pollo was “happy”, I was not prepared to make the painful decision to say goodbye to him.  I was convinced that one day, he would let me know, that it was okay to let him go.

Pollo’s happiness was always evident with his tail.  It never stopped wagging, never.  But on that morning, his tail stopped wagging.  Among other signs, mostly blind and deaf, unable to smell, it was clear that suffering was about to begin for my friend.  His tail no longer wagged.  I contacted the only vet Pollo had ever known, from beginning to end, and when Dr. W examined Pollo for what would be the final time, Dr. W. looked at me and told me, it was indeed time to say goodbye.

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Pollo was gone.  And Dr. W and I spent at least another half an hour recalling all the times that we had with Pollo.  The failed diet study that Pollo was volunteered for (he gained weight), to his appearance on the People’s Court.  Dr. W had stressed to me the wonderful years that I had given Pollo which clearly is what contributed to his longevity.  I have always loved animals, but Pollo was so much more to me.

I miss you bud.  And someday, we will meet again at the Rainbow Bridge.  And I will see that tail wag again.

The Rainbow Bridge

There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth.
It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors.
Just this side of the Rainbow there is a land of meadows,
hills and valleys with lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place.
There is always food and water and warm spring weather.
The old and frail animals are young again. Those who are maimed
are made whole again. They play all day with each other.

There is only one thing missing. They are not with their special
person who loved them on Earth. So, each day they run and play
until the day comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up!
The nose twitches! The ears are up!
The eyes are staring! And this one suddenly runs from the group!

You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet,
you take him or her in your arms and embrace.
Your face is kissed again and again and again, and you look
once more into the eyes of your trusting pet.

Then you cross the Bridge together
never again to be separated.

-Author Unknown

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Back To Paul’s Heart


I cannot believe it has been since June that I have written anything here. But then again, yes I can. I have just spent a glorious Summer with my two daughters. It was time needed, and time well spent.

My daughters are back home now with their mother for the school year, with more visits from me, and a nice Christmas break from them planned.

So, I have been starting more writing prompts and topics all the while, and am now ready to start blogging again. Thank you for understanding.

Paul

Post #300


I am never going to produce a major blockbuster movie like “300”. Nor will I ever have an opportunity to hit 300 homeruns. In fact the closest I have ever come to achieving 300 of anything would have been a perfect game in bowling back in my late 20’s. I threw strikes in the first nine frames, and then tapped a ten-pin, spared it, then completed the game with another strike in the 11th frame.

With my blog, I am finally achieving a 300, my 300th post on “Paul’s Heart.” My posts are at over 8000 views and the comments of support and appreciation are numerous. This is a big deal for me, but pales in comparison into the week ahead that I am going to have.

Next weekend, Father’s Day weekend, I will be memorializing my father who passed away three weeks ago. After discussing it with my siblings, we felt it was an appropriate tribute to our father. Just as many who have gone through such a personal loss, I am sure that you can understand the struggle to deal with “the first Father’s Day without my father.”

At the same time, it is Father’s Day weekend, something that I have always looked forward to since before I adopted my daughters. Besides the emotional toll of my father’s memorial to deal with, this will be the first Father’s Day for me with just my daughters. Due to the recent custody agreement I made with their mother, and my father’s passing, I have not been able to see them in a long time, the longest time apart.

I speak to my daughters every day, and on a couple of occasions I have been able to see my daughters courtesy of Facetime. I will get to spend the entire weekend with them, and I have a lot of activities planned with them. But next weekend will not be just about me. Every day I have thought about the hurt and confusion that my daughters must have. Which is why I will pull out all the stops to show them next weekend that the divorce does not change who their mother is, or who their father is. It is important to me to make sure that my children do not blame themselves for the divorce, that the divorce was an issue between just their mother and I.

The girls get to do a lot of fun things with their mother, and next weekend, I cannot wait to spend time with them.

My story is not unique, as there are probably thousands of other dads who have a similar story heading into next weekend. My parents divorced when I was young. So I have the perspective from both child and parent.

Next weekend is not about quantity, but rather the quality of the time that I get with my daughters.

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