Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Education”

22 Jan 2014

It’s Not Our Fault – It’s Your Body


There are now tests available to determine if you are at a higher risk for certain cancers. I have always felt uneasy about this “Pandora’s Box” opportunity because I am afraid of the emotional stress it can cause, a fear that may never come true, but take away so much. I know what it is like to worry about the “what if” scenario because as a cancer patient, I was told that certain things could happen to me as a result of the treatment options I pursued towards my remission. And then of course, there is the protocol that my doctors follow me as a long term cancer survivor, which includes all kinds of testing on nearly every system of my body, to see what is going wrong, heading in that direction, or nothing to worry about.

When I had my open heart surgery nearly six years ago, is when I became aware through the extraordinary screening, all the things that had the potential to go wrong. And I will be the first to admit, that the knowledge I gained, crippled me and took away a minimum of four years of my life as all I did was worry about what could happen. If you live in the past, or just look to the future, you are going to miss the present.

I am not saying that the cancer gene tests are not without merit, quite the contrary. I am a firm believer that the earlier you can diagnose and treat cancer the better chance at survival. But when those tests lead to such extreme decisions such as voluntary mastectomies, hysterctomies, and other omies, when an acutal risk severity has not been determined is unfair to terrorize patients.

Of course the cynic in me needs to recognize this “test” is not just about what is good for the patient, but what people do not realize, by being diagnosed with a pre-existing condition, up until the approval of the Affordable Care Act, that test, if confirmed, was a ticket for the insurance companies to deny you health insurance, and will still lead to denial of life insurance. If the test is definitely going to save your life immediately, then by all means. If it is just going to make your stomach turn each and every day, then it may need to be thought about more.

And it is not just with personal insurance that this discrimination occurs. It also happens with Worker’s Compensation Insurance. Insurance companies always look for exits for WC claims. But guess what? As long as it happens on your employer’s property, it is Worker’s Comp. There is no doubt you will be put through an emotional and financial wringer, but just because you have cardiac disease, if you have a heart attack at work, that is Worker’s Compensation.

We are born with our bodies. In our lifetime, we are lucky if all we have to deal with are common colds and other ailments. But what happens when your body has to deal with something that will leave your future health in question because of measures that must be taken to save your life now?

In 1988 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Strike 1. In 2008 I underwent emergency bypass heart surgery. Strike 2. But wait. The surgery was necessary because of treatments that I received back in 1988 for my cancer. Fortunately I had good insurance. Two bouts of near fatal pneumonia in 2012. Strikes 3 and 4. Restrictive lung disease. Cardiac disease. Radiation Fibrosis Syndrome. Osteopenia. My list goes on and on. But God help me the day that I lose the insurance that I have. Fortunately I do not have to rely on that statement anymore because of the Affordable Care Act.

I am not saying that it is perfect, but the one thing that it did do, was make sure that people like me, are not denied coverage, not only for something that just happened, but also for what was done to me. No longer does some pen pushing puke get to turn me down because I had cancer, or problems because of it. I have two daughters that I plan on seeing graduate from high school, and if they choose, to get married. I want to see them grow into adulthood.

I am not the only one in this situation. There are millions of other people, not just cancer patients who would have faced other dire circumstances if insurance companies were able to deny health coverage. In my last post, I mentioned about cancer not discriminating, especially by age. Millions of children are treated for any number of illnesses, and live long and fruitful lives. And they need that coverage.

Posted in Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
13 Jan 2014

For Michael


As many of you are aware, I lost someone very special to me recently, a good friend, and also a cancer survivor. I am working on a special tribute for him right now. But in the meantime, I would like to share with you a tribute written by author Stephen Kaufman:

For Michael
Stephen Kaufman
Author of “Into My Life Unexpected…A Journey To Me”

How to make sense
Of the senseless
How to speak
When we are speechless

How to grieve
When we cannot comprehend
How to move forward
When we are numb

There is a plan
Not for us to question
There is a method
In the midst of the madness

So we will accept
And we will remember
That the joy of his life
Will forever remain

In the hearts of all
Whose life he touched
And the tears we shed
Shall be his testament

Michael was only 24 years old. He fought cancer, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma as brave as anyone I had ever known. Unfortunately, following that battle, he faced side effects from the treatment that would eventually be too much for his young body to handle. And so, we lost Michael too soon. And as many often do, we find ourselves struggling with “why”. But Stephen’s words provide some comfort, especially if you can believe them to be true as I do.

Michael was just a few credits away from graduating from Florida Gulf Coast University when he had to deal with his Hodgkin’s, and had plans on finally returning before this latest round of events. It had been announced at Michael’s funeral, that the university was going to give Michael his degree posthumously.

Michael’s family has set up a scholarship in his memory. Please consider making any amount of donation, none too large or small, to:

Michael Scheidemann Scholarship at FGCU
Attn: Christopher Simoneau, VP, Advancement and Executive Director
Florida Gulf Coast University
10501 FGCU Boulevard South
Fort Myers, FL 33965

Make the check out to Florida Gulf Coast University Foundation, and write “Michael Scheidemann Scholarship” in the memo section.

I am always saddened to hear of anyone passing, but am adversely impacted when it is someone who has battled cancer, the same cancer as me, and someone so young.

I miss you Michael.

Posted in Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
27 Dec 2013
3 Comments

One Direction – Forward


For the last twenty-five years, my life has gone nothing as planned. From the day I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma back in 1988, one thing I learned very quickly in my life, there was no such thing as being in control of my life. All I was able to do was recognize, accept, and move on, one direction…forward. One of my favorite expressions is ” if you spill grape juice on your white carpet are you going to stand there looking at it asking ‘why?’ Or are you going to clean it up before the stain gets too bad?”
2013 a lot of “grape juice” was spilled. I was rushed to the emergency room for the third time in less than a year. Some late side effects from my cancer days were requiring attention. My second and final campaign for our local school board fizzled into oblivion. My most loyal companion and furry friend Pollo was laid to rest just shy of his fifteenth birthday (not too shabby for a golden retriever). And the biggest event of 2013, the end of my second marriage.
As all of these things occurred, I was never in any control of their outcomes or consequences. I could only move in one direction…forward. My health is always going to have something pop up. But I can make better decisions that can help prevent many things from happening. Stress reduction has had major impact on me already. Confirmed by my doctors, certain vital signs and blood results have improved to the point that medications are being ceased. Even some of the permanent late side effects are less in severity without the large amount of stress.
Local politics was an interesting venture. For all the hype of the last presidential election it was only natural to think that while turnout would not match the levels of 2012, a local election that had major implications surely had to make a difference and could have come down to “one vote making a difference.” But instead voter apathy tumbled far below even two years prior, another off-year election.
I still miss Pollo so much. I have finally stopped automatically going for his feed bowl or the back door to let him out first thing in the morning. But I do still miss his faithful tail wag and inability to get mad for any reason. But the loss has been so painful.
As for the divorce, the end will come. But my attention now has to focus on my daughters. I will not discuss the circumstances of the divorce. But the effects are showing on my daughters. I know what it is like to be caught in the middle of a bitter custody situation and I am doing my best to make sure that they know that both of their parents are going to be a part of their lives not just for 2014, but for years after that. Both of us will have wonderful new changes for the girls providing them plenty of wonderful experiences, just not the misery and stress of watching us not getting along with each other. For everyone else in our lives, I do hope that in 2014 you realize that what led to our breakup was best kept between she and , and had nothing to do with anyone else.
I have lots of hopes for 2014 for the one direction I am making. But I will not forget those that will also be struggling with either their employment, finances, health, or their relationships.
I prefer to clean up the “grape juice.” Not ask why it spilled. To all of you reading this and “Paul’s Heart,” I wish you all a happy, healthy, prosperous new year.
Happy New Year everyone.

Posted in Adoption, Animals, Bullying, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Food, Inspired By..., Politics, Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart, Uncategorized and tagged , , ,

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