Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Adoption”

01 Jan 2015

2015 Off To A Great Start!!!


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Happy New Year to all my readers and followers of “Paul’s Heart”!!!  The year is just barely 12 hours started, and amazing news is that “Paul’s Heart” has now had over 15,000 views in just its second year.  This is up from just 5000 that I had last year at this time.  So I want to take this time to thank each and every one of you right now for your support, your readership, and your sharing.

As I wrote in my last post, I personally want 2015 to be more positive.  That does not mean there will not be less than positive things that get written about on my blog, but I am going to try to make the blog more inspirational.  I want the blog to do what it has been intended to do, and that is help people.

Starting this year, I will continue to discuss my issues with being a long term cancer survivor as well as my life as a single father and the divorce process itself.  But I also want to expand my efforts to other topics as well.

One of the biggest successes I experienced on “Paul’s Heart”, and I believe benefited so many readers, was hearing the stories of others who have gone through issues of survivorship in one form or another, and I would like to continue to offer others an opportunity to tell their story here, on “Paul’s Heart”, in their own words.  So, if you have an inspirational story that you would like to share on “Paul’s Heart,” please send it to me at pedelmanjr@yahoo.com .  I would be honored to have your story shared on this blog.

Of course, if there is a particular question or topic that you would like to see written about on this blog, please email me your questions or suggestions at pedelmanjr@yahoo.com .

Once again, thank you all for your support and encouragement.  And Happy New Year!!

Paul

Posted in Adoption, Animals, Bullying, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Food, Inspired By..., Politics, Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
30 Dec 2014

Out With The Old, In With The New


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Not too long ago, I wrote about my lack of enthusiasm for the Christmas holiday season.  And in spite of that track record, I always look forward to the beginning of a new year.

2014 was probably the most difficult year of my life, and I have been through a lot up until this year without needing to break any records.  I lost a dear friend to the same cancer that I have survived all these years.  My dad passed away from lung cancer.  Of course, there is a divorce that I am dealing with, that is nowhere near final, and showing no signs of letting up as far as tension.

But in spite of how shitty 2014 has been, and to be honest, 2015 is going to be a bit rough out of the gate, I do have hopes that 2015 is going to be a better year.  It has to be.  I will probably skip right through January if you do not mind because I want to start the year off without giving any attention to the negative aspects of my life, which I hope to have under control entering February.

So with that, here is a step-by-step plan on how I plan to make 2015 better.

1.  getting my divorce issues straightened out, and finally moving forward

2.  hold my daughters, and spend more time with them

3.  spend more time with my friends, whether it is long-distance, or in my back yard.  With as dark as 2014 has been, each and everyone who has stood by me, has done nothing but offer me support and encouragement.  And that will never be forgotten.

4.  Josephine, what can be said about the year 2014 between the two of us.  I know the heart that you have, and I cannot wait to see what a year without loss and turmoil will bring us.

So with that, my plan for 2015 is simple.  Nothing tricky at all what I would like, or how to get there.

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My wish is for everyone reading and supporting “Paul’s Heart” is to have a healthy and Happy New Year!

Posted in Adoption, Animals, Bullying, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Food, Inspired By..., Politics, Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
26 Dec 2014

The Best Christmas Gift So Far


Earlier this week, I was given the best Christmas gift and the most thoughtful.

While many might make the comment, I deserve what I am dealing with because of moving away from my daughters, and many might also realize, how bad things had to have been in dealing with certain individuals for me to have relocated this far, this post is not about that.  This post is about what happens when people put the children who are stuck in the middle of a nasty divorce, first in priority, doing what is best in the interests of the children.

Up until this year, I have never missed a choral performance of either of my daughters, whether it be church or school.  At best I was hoping for maybe my estranged wife to record a song or two.  Instead, what I got was so much better.

I wrote a post some time ago, about the role that technology now plays in divorce and custody, allowing better and more frequent contact between a distantly located parent and their child(ren).  Between technology, and a family member, I received the best Christmas gift I could have hoped for.

I received a telephone call via Tango (a video call service), from my brother-in-law, saying that he was going to video feed the concert to me, as long as his cell phone battery would hold up.  I was in shock at what was about to happen.  I really thought I would not get to see this, but because family was trying to do what was best for my daughters, and not get involved with pitting one side against the other, two little girls were about to find out something magical.

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Because of this kindness, I was able to see the entire performance.  But the generosity did not stop there.  Following the conclusion of the concert, my brother-in-law rushed up to the stage, where my daughters were waiting for their mother, and showed each of my daughters what had just been done.  Their smiles were a pure Christmas Miracle when they saw the other face in the screen of his phone was me.  And just like that, the phone battery finally ran out.  And it was a miracle, to me, and my daughters.  Cell phone batteries only last for so long without being charged, and using high data, but the battery lasted long enough for both my daughters to see that I was “with them” that night.

I was able to share with them, two of my favorite songs that they sang, and conversation flowed from that.  Instead of just asking “how was your concert?” I was able to tell them that I enjoyed the concert.

And that same technology would bring us back together again yesterday morning.  Since I was unable to be with them Christmas morning, I had their gifts sent to them in time to open them for Christmas.  And we dialed up Facetime, and I got to see them open their gifts, and read a letter that I wrote to them, telling them that I missed them, that I loved them, and that this would be the last Christmas we would be apart.  I promised them that things would get better.

And as long as they are able to hear my words, read my words, they will believe I will keep that promise.  And yes, I will never forget what my brother-in-law did for me, but I will also make sure my daughters never forget it either.

This is one of those stories that shows the good that can come during a divorce process when you put the children first.

Posted in Adoption, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation | Leave a comment

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