The “Do Over”
The question is, “if you had the chance to go back in time, and re-live something over again, what would you want to re-live and would you do it?”
First, I need to offer a disclaimer and “nerd” alert. I am a huge fan of the television show “Quantum Leap” and the movie “Back To The Future.” So, to understand the above question, I would have to understand the ramifications and risks associated with going back in time. Even the slightest change in the past would have a major impact on the future.
For instance, though there is no known cause of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, if I were to relive any time period just before my diagnosis, and somehow end up not being diagnosed with cancer, on one hand that would be a great thing. But tragically, that would erase all that I have accomplished over the years, and take away the two most important people away from me, my daughters.
There are definitely things that I would not want to relive again, all losses of loved ones.
As my path through Fatherhood was not as I had originally planned, I did the best that I could and accomplished what I needed to. I have plenty of photos to look back on to relive all of those moments.
There is one moment in my life, that I do wish I could live over again, but this would come at a risk of changing history. Because there would be a slight/major change in the moment.
One of many stories I had written over the years was being performed (read) live, by professional actors. It was an achievement I never thought possible. The story was about the passing of my Father. But being recently separated at the time, I wanted my daughters to attend this moment with me, but was denied by their mother. I had promised that everything would be done to make sure they were prepared for, and able to attend school the next morning. I was still refused.
It was one of the most powerful and surreal experiences in my life that I do not know if I will ever get the chance to experience anything like that again. I do not know if getting to go back, have my daughters sit by my side for the performance, meet the actors afterwards, and listen to the kind words of audience members would change any direction of the future. But if I had one moment, to relive over again, this would be it.
Paul's Heart 