Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Recreation”

PUNCHBUGGY!!!


There was a custom in the mid to late 1980’s, usually while driving, when spotting a Volkswagon Beetle (for those that need the image… recall “Herbie The Love Bug”), if you had a passenger in your car with you, and either of you spotted one of these “bugs”, it would become a race who could curl up a fist and either punch the other person in the leg or arm. And it was usually a good wallop too since participants were usually well into their teen years.

As time went on, the Volkswagon Beetle (bug) disappeared. And so did the frequency of “bug” sightings and assaults. This aggressive car game had gone the way of the Beetle.

For me personally, I did not pay attention to the return of the Beetle, which resembles its earlier design and never seems to change in appearance from year to year. But somehow, along with its return, came the return of the warcry “PUNCHBUGGY!!” and the painful reminder.

My memory had been refreshed during my daughters’ visit with me this Summer. Within the first day of their visitation, I was surprised to see, hear, and feel, they had learned a game that I thought had been long gone. And there it was…”PUNCHBUGGY!!!” followed by one punch and then completely off-guard another “PUNCHBUGGY!!!” came from the other side of me, along with another hit.

Who taught my daughters this game? Bad enough to get one, but to get it from two at the same time? They worked well as a team too. One daughter would hear the other, and then load up her fist and follow up. I did not stand a chance.

My daughters enjoyed playing “PUNCHBUGGY!!” with me. And I think I got hit with it every day that they were here. And as much as the cry of “PUNCHBUGGY!!!” came out, even though it was from my daughters, I did grow weary of it, not to mention, quite sore.

My daughters returned home to their mother last week. Funny but I do not recall paying attention to Volkswagon Beetles before their visit as I do today. But as I waited for my car to be unloaded from the Autotrain, I counted fifteen Beetles being unloaded from the train. On one hand, grateful that my arms would not be completely limp and in pain, while at the same time, yes, wishing I would hear “PUNCHBUGGY!!!” again.

Such as life. This is one of the lighter stories of divorce. This is about a game, and how much it causes my heart to miss my daughters. Every day now, I see at least one “bug”, and in my heart and in my head, I yell, “PUNCHBUGGY!!!” to myself, and instead of a punch, I get a smile.

I cannot wait until our next visit.

Back To Paul’s Heart


I cannot believe it has been since June that I have written anything here. But then again, yes I can. I have just spent a glorious Summer with my two daughters. It was time needed, and time well spent.

My daughters are back home now with their mother for the school year, with more visits from me, and a nice Christmas break from them planned.

So, I have been starting more writing prompts and topics all the while, and am now ready to start blogging again. Thank you for understanding.

Paul

Post #300


I am never going to produce a major blockbuster movie like “300”. Nor will I ever have an opportunity to hit 300 homeruns. In fact the closest I have ever come to achieving 300 of anything would have been a perfect game in bowling back in my late 20’s. I threw strikes in the first nine frames, and then tapped a ten-pin, spared it, then completed the game with another strike in the 11th frame.

With my blog, I am finally achieving a 300, my 300th post on “Paul’s Heart.” My posts are at over 8000 views and the comments of support and appreciation are numerous. This is a big deal for me, but pales in comparison into the week ahead that I am going to have.

Next weekend, Father’s Day weekend, I will be memorializing my father who passed away three weeks ago. After discussing it with my siblings, we felt it was an appropriate tribute to our father. Just as many who have gone through such a personal loss, I am sure that you can understand the struggle to deal with “the first Father’s Day without my father.”

At the same time, it is Father’s Day weekend, something that I have always looked forward to since before I adopted my daughters. Besides the emotional toll of my father’s memorial to deal with, this will be the first Father’s Day for me with just my daughters. Due to the recent custody agreement I made with their mother, and my father’s passing, I have not been able to see them in a long time, the longest time apart.

I speak to my daughters every day, and on a couple of occasions I have been able to see my daughters courtesy of Facetime. I will get to spend the entire weekend with them, and I have a lot of activities planned with them. But next weekend will not be just about me. Every day I have thought about the hurt and confusion that my daughters must have. Which is why I will pull out all the stops to show them next weekend that the divorce does not change who their mother is, or who their father is. It is important to me to make sure that my children do not blame themselves for the divorce, that the divorce was an issue between just their mother and I.

The girls get to do a lot of fun things with their mother, and next weekend, I cannot wait to spend time with them.

My story is not unique, as there are probably thousands of other dads who have a similar story heading into next weekend. My parents divorced when I was young. So I have the perspective from both child and parent.

Next weekend is not about quantity, but rather the quality of the time that I get with my daughters.

Post Navigation