Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Family and Friends”

09 Jun 2013

Life Lesson Learned


This event was one thing my oldest daughter had been looking forward to, since she decided against competing in it last year, the school district’s elementary school triathlon.  Divisions and skills were set up based upon the ages of the young competitors.  Madison has always been a competitor, striving to give everything she has, but last year, she chose not to compete.  This year was different.

Together, Madison and I spent a lot of time together, training as recommended for this triathlon.  Madison is a natural in water, so it was just going to be a matter of getting her to an indoor pool to practice her three lengths required.  We ride bikes together all of the time, many times for at least an hour, so that was not going to be difficult.  I have seen Madison run, so I knew she had speed.  I was just unsure how much endurance she had.

We had a track that surrounded a peewee football field which would give the easily measurable distance, down the street for our home.  The plan and schedule had been set.  Madison would be at or above the skills necessary at least three weeks before the triathlon.  Unfortunately, my father’s ill health, that schedule had been tossed out the window.

Madison’s training now became a matter of “when” we had time to do it.  But she was undeterred.  This was a competition that she believed that she could handle, and wanted to compete.  She gave me daily reminders what forms needed to be filled out, and what meetings had to be attended.  She assured me she would get the rest done as far as the actual practice.

We arrived the morning of the triathlon, checked in, and then set up her staging area.  I then escorted her to her first holding area, for the swimming portion.  She sat behind her heat lane for close to an hour before they called her heat.  And then she was off.

She swam with the speed of a shark chasing its prey and then ran out to the staging area to get her pants and bib on, climb on the bike and ride.  I caught up to her at the bike track.  She raced on to the loop of the ride and was completing her first mile and proceeding through the loop for the second lap when a rider in front of her had wiped out.  Madison was about three lengths behind, but given her age and inexperience, she was not prepared to react to avoid the crash and collided with the downed rider, causing herself to crash.

But instead of getting right up, and back into the race, she asked the girl, a stranger from another elementary school, if she was alright.  The girl originally said yes, but then broke down in tears.  At that moment, Madison made the commitment to remain with her, until help would arrive.  By my watch, Madison sacrificed at least two minutes of time, providing comfort to a fellow competitor who had fallen.  For Madison, the race was not about winning or placing, the triathlon was an opportunity for Madison to do what Madison is best at, caring.

Yes, I am going to brag about how I have raised my daughters.  And I hope this is just one of the stories that I get to tell, that show just what all humans have the capability of providing, empathy and compassion.

Officially, her numbers were time of competition, 0:34:04, and she placed 24th out of 65 other girls in her grade (division).  But she won more than a race on Saturday.

Posted in Adoption, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation | Leave a comment
02 Jun 2013

Lost In All This


I have been working hard to be elected to our local school board for three years now.  I have spent several nights a week attending district meetings, other nights meeting and greeting voters, and remaining evenings meeting with the other members of my campaign.

None of us keep any kind of score on who does how much or when.  It is a team effort.  We can disagree, but we respect that right to do so.  When one of us is down, there is another to pick us up.  And when personal crisis comes up, there is unbelievable support.

My dad had been diagnosed with Stage 1 lung cancer about two months before the recent primary election.  While a cancer diagnosis is not what anyone wants to hear, being staged at 1 was definitely welcomed news.  The recommendation for remission was surgery and so it was arranged.  There is no good time to have cancer, but the surgery had been set for the week before the election.

My father knows how much effort I had put into this election and felt awful, but my priority was clear.  I would stand by his side, not only as his son, but as his medical advocate.  I would figure a way to find balance so that I did not feel that I had abandoned my running mates and campaign.  But everyone involved in my campaign made it clear, “be with your dad.  You have done so much for this campaign, we can hold down the fort while you take care of him.”

His stay in the hospital was only to last four to six days.  Currently, today is day 21.

The campaign activity is picking up after just a week from the election where I won one political party, but not the other, forcing a General Election in the Fall.  But the entire week before the election, everyone in my campaign took all the extra steps to make sure that my absence was not felt during the busiest and most crucial stage of the election.  The group of people that are my running mates are a remarkable bunch.

As my father recovers, I am slowly easing back into my position of candidate, but it is clear that I have to find some sort of balance as my dad will need some care for quite a bit of time yet.

It feels quite odd actually.  During the last election in 2011, there was such a huge “letdown” both physically and mentally the days after the election.  And it would have happened regardless having lost or had I won.  I went from having over 50 emails a day to answer, as well as a dozen voicemails, plus of course door knocking and appearances, to nothing.  Just completely dropped off.  But this time there has been no down time for me.  My time has been so occupied with my dad following the election, that now that the campaign is picking up again, my stride has continued without breaking and I feel momentum will pick up exactly where it left off.

Of course, knowing that with total votes, I came in 4th out of 8 for four positions, eliminating the school board president from his seat on the board, had this been the General Election.  I still have some work to do.  While one of my running mates won overall, there were two incumbants who scored above me yet.

Posted in Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Politics | Leave a comment
31 May 2013

The Fighter – Post #200!!!!


It has taken me a bit longer to get to post #200 than I had planned.  In trying to balance my own cancer survival issues, my father’s health took a serious turn several weeks ago, and my energies have been concentrated on his recovery.  Two weeks ago, I gave a “Survivor” speech at the Upper Perk Relay For Life during their “Fight Back” ceremony.  I took one of the speeches I have used this year, and re-formatted it into a professional boxing narrative modeled after some popular boxing networks, having changed the names for satirical purposes to give the comparison of a cancer battle and survival to the fight for life.

And with that, I present post #200…

 

The Fighter

 

 Commentator:  Good evening and welcome to another great Saturday night of what has the potential to be the greatest gathering of fighters.  I’m John Lamplighter and I’m joined by my co-host Lenny Albert.

 Lenny:  How’s everyone doing tonight?  Great to be here John.

Lamplighter:  One of our feature fighters this evening is a local guy hailing from Lansdale and a solid veteran fighter.  For more we go to our field reporter, Joe Noggin.

 

 

Noggin:  Paul Edelman is no ordinary fighter.  Living with cancer nearly half of his life, he was diagnosed by accident, the common cold.

Paul:  I just discovered this lump in my neck, and it just wouldn’t go away.  My doctor wasn’t concerned about it because of its location, and gave me an anti-inflammatory.  The swelling went down, but when the meds stopped, the lump came back hard and furious.

 

Noggin:  Weeks later, and several second opinions, Edelman was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease at the age of 22, stage 3b.  The testing used is now obsolete, and the treatments he went through are only used as a last resort.  Both of these conditions due to progress in research, assited by funding from events like the Relay For Life.

Paul:  It’s just amazing.  In less than 25 years, researchers have found easier methods to diagnose cancer and safe methods to treat cancer.  Side effects are fewer and less severe.  And more people are surviving.

 

Noggin:  Edelman’s story is nothing less than a miracle.  Decades ago, all the common person believed was that everyone died from cancer, that you could catch cancer from other people, that having cancer was something to be ashamed of.  Tonight, Edelman continues his fight in his survival and life with cancer.  Now let’s go back to the ring as the ring announcer is set to begin.

 

(bell rings)

Ring announcer:  Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Upper Perk’s Relay For Life for a great Saturday evening with the toughest fighters you will ever meet.  Some are just in the beginning stages, others, ring veterans.  Now… let’s get ready to battllllllllleeeeee!!!

Our current fighter was set for 30 treatments of radiation therapy and 8 rounds of chemo.  With more than 23 years since his last treatment, he recognizes that his life did not end with diagnosis, that his life is not defined by having had cancer, but lives in spite of having had cancer.  I give you, Paul Edelman

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  I had everything going for me.  I was getting married in six months.  I felt alone.  I was scared.  I never knew anyone who had gone through cancer, or at least lived.

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  I took every treatment, one day at a time.  Of my treatments, only 8 injections were going to make me sick.  And of those that made me sick, it was only going to be for 2-3 hours.  That meant I was going to really feel like crap for 24 hours or less, not for 10 months of the entire treatment schedule.  Completed one treatment, knew I could get through another.  Once I got half way, I knew I could get through the rest.  Once I was just two treatments away, I could see the end.  I knew I could do it.

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  The financial toll.  I was lucky.  I had health benefits back then.  Real good benefits.  But having to miss work for diagnostics and treatments was costly.  I saw unfortunate behaviors from my co-workers who felt that I was getting special treatment, to this day, I still don’t know what they were thinking I was getting.

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  I continued to see doctors for many years after my treatments ended.  They’re called follow ups.  They are to make sure the cancer doesn’t return, and that if for some reason, a late side effect develops, it can be dealt with early enough.  But my doctors forgot about me.  So I did not remind them.  Eight years later, on my own, late side effects made a huge impact on my life.  I wish I had still been following up with my oncologist.  They could have caught these things sooner.

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  I never realized how difficult it would be for me to develop my new normal.  Employers back then had not yet been introduced to the newly passed American With Disabilities Act.  Insurance companies made me angry throwing statistics at me as reason for not wanting me as a client.  Let me tell you about statistics, we are winning the fight against cancer.  Survival rates are increasing every year.

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  My wife and I divorced.  Chances are, it might have been the cancer.  I was diagnosed before we got married, but it was definitely alot for someone to have to deal with.  I wanted better for her and told her I would not be mad if she had not married me.  But just as hard, was dating.  Just as inconvenient as cancer being diagnosed, there is no convenient time to bring up cancer on a date.

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  I married again.  I have two beautiful daughters that we adopted from China.  I do deal with some late side effects, but they are managed because I still see the doctors.   Because of research, doctors now have a protocol to follow up on survivors, to make sure that side effects are dealt with.

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  I have reached a new level in my fight with cancer.  Telling my story.  It is my goal to show and tell as many people as I can, cancer can be beat.  We must continue to support research with funding and events like the Relay For Life so that everyone has the chance to survive.  Whether it be written word, or spoken, my story is real.  I stand before you,  a fighter, a 23-year survivor of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  One of my favorite movies is Rocky 2.  There is a part in the movie where Rocky’s wife Adrien lapses into a coma after giving birth to their son.  When she comes to and realizes that Rocky has been by her side the entire time, and he looks exhausted, she asks him to come closer to her, as there is something she wants to tell Rocky.

“There’s something I want you to do for me.”  And he looks at her.  “Win. Win.”  Just then, Rocky’s trainer yells, “what are we waiting for?”  And of course Rocky fights on for another four movies.  But that is exactly what I hope my story inspires you all to do.  Win this fight.  And tonight, this one is for my dad who is up at Lehigh Valley Hospital tonight beginning his quest as a survivor of lung cancer

 

(bell rings)

Paul:  My final round, I would like to leave you with this, an expression that I sign off with, when congratulating a patient on either remission or some milestone.
“As I continue down the road of remission, I will keep looking in my rear view mirror to make sure that you are still following me.  And if you haven’t gotten onto that highway yet, I will drive fifty-five so that you can catch up to me.”

 

(bell rings)

Posted in Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment

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