Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Education”

The Importance Of Heritage


In a rare moment for me of just kicking back and relaxing, I put the television on.  As I flipped through the channels I came across National Geographic’s Wild channel.  Programming most of this afternoon is geared towards China and the world that most people are unaware of beyond the smog and politics.

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Admittedly, I was not born with this interest in the largest country of the world.  But almost twelve years ago, I had to make up for my lack of interest in learning about China during high school in very short time.  Of course, both of my daughters are adopted from China.  I will leave the back story to other posts that I have written or will write.

I have always made it a point from the moment the decision was made to adopt from China, that my daughters’ heritage would be adopted as well.  I never had any intention of hiding the fact that from appearance, clearly you could see that we were not biologically related.  Although there has been the never-ending joke that my daughters have my eyes at least, making reference to the fact that I do not have what the Asians call the round “round eye” of Caucasians, rather my eyes are more “almond” shaped as is the characteristic of Asians.  Ironically, my elementary school classmates were the first to point out this characteristic to me.

One of the things that impressed me most about the Asian population, is their commitment to traditions, something we as Americans rarely commit to any.  Customs, traditions, expectations, are all just that, expected.  I believe this helps the Chinese people to be such a “peaceful” and more content population.

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I have made a promise to both of my daughters, that I will teach them as much as I can about their heritage, their customs, and so much more.  I want them to learn about their language.  I want them to learn about the holidays.  I want them to know where they came from.

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The major benefit to me of having adopted children from China, as opposed to many other international programs, is because China required the adoptive parents to travel to adopt the children.  Many other programs bring the children to the United States.  By traveling to China, I got to see first hand, the land, hear the  language, and truly appreciate where both of my daughters have come from.  It will make it a lot easier to teach both of my daughters.

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Yes, that is a picture of Madison standing in front of a statue of childhood superhero, Ultraman.

Both of my daughters have come from different areas of the same province.  One came from a more populated area, the other, considered more farming.  It was during this visit, that we got to see the other life that either of our daughters could have ended up with, were it not being for China allowing us to adopt them.

During our second adoption, our guides had informed us that we would be travelling to a village, very similar to where our daughters were from, though not that particular village.  We would stop by a market to buy “gifts” for the children of the village, pretty much toys and candy.  As our bus pulled into the village the bus was mobbed by everyone excited for what they probably knew we were carrying just for them.

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This was actually quite overwhelming, because as the following pictures will show, the families here have barely anything.  At moments, we felt as if we were in an ocean, and someone had thrown chum into the ocean bringing on an onslaught of sharks in a feeding frenzy.  All of a sudden larger children were overpowering smaller children for what they had received from us.  New toys ended up broken, candy fell to the ground.  It was actually quite heartbreaking.

Once we were done with this “greeting”, it was off to tour the village.

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There were no cars.  Floors were all concrete.  No electric, and no indoor plumbing.  The families here survived by farming, and other than their traditions and customs, this was all they had.  And they seemed content.  It was very humbling for us Westerners to have seen this side of China, and to enable us to explain the appreciation that our children will be taught as we try to explain where they came from and why.

And there have been plenty of blessings from our adoptions as well.  I met nineteen other families who also would become “adopted” by me, as family of our own.  Our children are the only connection they have to China, here in the United States.  And it has been important to everyone to make sure that all the girls and the families have kept in touch with each other.

On a larger scale, I have met dozens of other families who have also adopted from the same orphanages.  For many years we would gather to celebrate the common bond at a different location in the United States.  I have developed many friendships because of this.  But perhaps, one of the biggest surprises would come from one of the families of this particular group.

I have always intended to be able to provide both of my daughters with as much information about their past as I could.  Their finding locations, any foster family they may have had, information about their villages and such.  For my oldest daughter, information was discovered that revealed that she had a crib mate with the foster family that cared for her until we came to China for the adoption.  It turns out that this “crib mate” actually lives in Scotland, the foster family has been confirmed as well as the time period.  Today, we exchange pictures in hopes that one day, the two girls will get to meet.

And that is where I am at right now.  I still have hopes of having my daughters to return to China.  I have promised them this.  And for my oldest, I will do what I can to make sure that she gets to meet the little girl that shared a crib with her for a short while.

In the adoption documentary “Somewhere Between,” the issue of adoption in the later years of a child’s life is dealt with.  Madison had a brief cameo in the movie where she mentioned to one of the lead actresses in the movie, “I am from China too.”  Madison is very proud of her heritage, as is Emmalie, through Madison is a bit more vocal about it.  Which is all the more reason and importance, that the children be taught about the land from where they came from.

Two Parents Or One Parent – There Is Only One Goal


Of all the talks that I used to enjoy with my daughters, it was when I would remind them, how having Mommy and Daddy as their parents, they were lucky because they actually have the best of all worlds with she and I because of our different parenting styles.  I always felt that the girls would be exposed to all the necessities of parenting, having a balance of security and comfort, strictness and friendship, and guidance and experience.  Our goal was, and should still be, what is in the best interest of our children.

Before I continue, I believe that last phrase is important, whether the parents are married, divorced, widowed, never married, or even single parents.  And I want to qualify something, I understand and respect all classifications of parents.  I myself am an adult child of divorce (great movie and cast by the way “A.C.O.D. ”  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1311060/ ).  I know first hand from the child’s perspective what it is like to have only one parent raising a child, or in my mother’s case, children.  And I also have long memories of what it was like for my mother to struggle and the lack of resources available to her.

When we adopted our daughters, we agreed on many things, in spite of our parenting style differences.  We took vows to make sure that our daughters were raised with religious instruction which of course began with their baptisms, and so far, the first Holy Communions.  Up next will be their confirmation.  To us, this was important, because without these things already in place, it would make things difficult for them as adults should they choose to get married with the same religion they were baptized in.  We have always been supportive of our childrens’ teachers and school.  We have always agreed on allowing our daughters to talk to us about anything… ANYTHING.

And in the situation of single parenting, I am certain that the belief in doing the best for children is the same priority.  And while I may not give enough credit in the following statement:  “single parenting is often quite difficult”, I do not mean it to understate that or patronize it.  Unlike having two parents raising a child, where when one falls ill, or is unavailable, at least there is someone else to fall back on.  But in a single parent situation, that parent is in a “do what has to be done” position without giving any thought to it.

But the thing that remains constant throughout all situations of parenting, EVERY parent wants what is best for their children.  The single parent makes sure that all doctor and dental appointments are made and kept, all homework is completed and grades are kept up, help the child get through puberty, and prepare for adulthood.

The situation is made more stressful in the event of a parent who has passed away for whatever the reason.  That parent must deal with the grief from the loss of their spouse, best friend, partner.  But that surviving parent must also deal with, and recognize the needs of the children dealing with their loss and grief as well, along with all the other things involved with growing up.

Divorce is much more complicated in protecting the children.  Care must be given to never allow the children to feel that they are the cause of a divorce.  The divorce is between the husband and the wife, not between the parents and the children.  In the end, the man and woman will no longer be married, but the father and mother will always be their parents.  And just as dealing with loss and grief are an issue for the widow(er)ed parent, there is also a loss and grief that is experienced with divorce when it comes to dealing with children.  There are swells of emotions between the parents as they struggle to come to a dissolution of their marriage, all the while, protecting their children.  And then of course, there are the concerns, emotions, and actions of the children as they deal with only having two parents, in two separate locations.

And for some, divorces involving adopted children stirs up a much stronger emotion.  And while I understand the emotions involved, as long as both parents remain just that, parents, then the emotions are misguided.  Some belief that an adoptive child involved in the divorce of their child in a sense is going through another form of abandonment.  Of course, making reference to the initial adoption that occurred when a biological parent made the painful decision to place the child with a parent or parents who would be able to provide a better life.  Abandonment is such an ugly word, and I think if you talk to many older adoptive children, even those who are grown now, find that word offensive.

But to those who find it horrible, that adoptive parents would divorce, and I am in no way referencing my situation, because it “creates a trauma of abandonment” for a second time in that child’s life, I offer this.  And again, I am not stating this is the case of my divorce, but regardless of the reasons that a divorce was filed, having a child or children living in an environment where tension, resentment, anger, alienation are a daily occurrence, well, to quote Dr. Phil McGraw, “it is better for a child to live with a broken home, than it is to live in one.”

But just as a single parent does daily, parents who divorce, or couples that separate, the priority is the same, keeping what is in the best interest of the child as the focus.  The divorce or separation is of the coupling, not of the parenting.  The priority of making sure that every sniffle, ache or pain, cavity, puberty issue is addressed does not change.  The child still needs to have an education and both parents need to support and make sure that struggles as well as accomplishments are recognized.  Hobbies and interests need to continue to be encouraged and supported by both parents.  This is called co-parenting.

And the irony of co-parenting is this.  Is it possible that had co-parenting been the main focus of the relationship (marriage or just coupled), would the break-up ever occurred?  Seriously, a break-up does not occur because of the children, and the children should never be made to feel that way.  But in making the future of the children the priority, and concentrating on that goal, would it be possible that perhaps the outcomes of the issues leading to the separations would have been handled differently, and yes, cause and effect, perhaps the dissolution may not have happened.  Unfortunately, that is something that will never be known.  It will just be an “a-ha” moment.  But clearly, if you have children in your family unit, any issue whether it be financial, medical, or whatever, not only affects the parents, but also affects the children, and nearly everyone forgets that.

For those who have never been in a situation of a family break-up personally, and “knowing a family” having gone through a break-up is not the same at all, it is difficult to understand all the emotions and struggles that have gone into the decision to end a relationship that involves children.  In many cases, it is complicated further, if the couple managed to keep all their struggles within the four walls of their home, leading to the shock of the announcement.  And of course, follows with massive amounts of unjustified judgment and alienation, all under the guise of what is considered “best for the children.”  The only flaw with that thinking, is when both parents in that situation, remain in both their children’s lives, that means that those outside the immediate family unit, to remain in the children’s lives, who have done nothing to deserve any different from those outside the immediate family unit, will still be dealing with both parents.

I have seen all kinds of situations in my lifetime involving couples and spouses who have ended their relationships.  And combined with my own situation of having been the child of a divorced family, I am especially sensitive to the needs of my daughters and am now driven by my co-parenting responsibilities.  Regardless of the distance, I am still involved in my daughters’ medical care, education, interests, and achievements.  We have had to become creative in many circumstances in this effort.  I have seen successful splits and co-parenting, and I have also witnessed circumstances where legal requirements prevent successful co-parenting that the two parents cannot even be in the same room with each other.  I have also witnessed parents forced to deal with each other under the direst of situations, either in an extreme medical crisis or worse, death.  And it should not take moments like this to bring two parents together to co-parent.

Just as I had no experience as a parent, no experience with adoption, no experience with cancer or the many medical issues I deal with, I can only go by instincts and what I have observed.  To do this, means I have to keep an open mind to comments, whether complimentary or critical.  Because one thing I think all will agree, children deserve the best opportunities, regardless of the situations.

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Defeating Cancer As A Team


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This evening, I was invited to give a speech at the Naples Relay For Life Team Party.  Tonight was about preparing all the teams for their big night coming up.  I was asked to give a speech on survivorship.  For those that would like to see the actual transcript, here it is (sorry, no video tonight due to technical problems):

 

 

“One of the best compliments a captain or the manager of a professional sports team can receive is not just by winning a championship, or by how the team earned the championship, or even when its championship design is duplicated and imitated by other teams, but rather when every participant of his or her team, come together with one common goal, completely unified, focused on the task to be done, actually makes it happen. The west coast offense of the San Francisco 49ers football team. The stifling trap defense of the Florida Panthers hockey team. And then of course there are the endless resources strategy of the New York Yankees baseball team. Winning teams know how to do just that, win.

The Relay For Life may never get the status of a professional sports endorsement but there is definitely no greater effort put out by anyone, than those involved with the Relay For Life, and the teams that raise funds and awareness every year, in every city. The success of Relays over the decades has made a difference and gives each and every cancer survivor hope for the future.

Dr. Gordon “Gordy” Klatt of Tacoma, Washington is credited with a novel team concept for fundraising that began with a simple and modest 24 hour effort originally called the City of Destiny Classic Run Against Cancer in 1985. Friends, family, and other supporters donated $27,000 while Gordy ran and walked over 80 miles around the track at the University of Puget Sound for 24 hours on his own. Just as in professional sports, the concept that originally began the Relay has resulted in something much more meaningful that all of the professional sports trophies combined. The following year, 1986, 19 teams participated in the first Relay For Life, which today nationally has raised more than 5 billion dollars to go towards cancer research and support programs. Dr. Klatt lost his life this past August from heart failure while battling of all things, cancer. But if anyone proved that one person could make a difference, Dr. Klatt was that one person.

The American Cancer Society proclaims a cancer patient a survivor from the moment that a patient is diagnosed. So, with that, I would like to share with you, another successful game plan that I hope will leave everyone inspired and believe that long term cancer survivorship can be achieved.

If anyone knows about success, it is my team. Now if you notice, I did not say that “I” knew about success. Last week, to the day, I became a 25 year cancer survivor of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. But I clearly did not get to this point in my life alone. Combining strategies professional sports teams like the Yankees, the 49ers, and the Panthers use, my team was formed in November of 1988 in a small hospital in Bethlehem, PA.

I had my faith which admittedly had been shaken with my diagnosis and once the shock had worn off I reaffirmed what was going to be the foundation of my survival.

I had the best role model for beating cancer in knowing the first person in my life, famous or not to have survived cancer, my grandmother.

I made sure that I was being taken care of by the best staff assembled, and by best, I do not mean from the biggest hospital networks with the biggest superstars or best touchdown percentages. I had to feel and believe that those treating me, had every interest in seeing me in remission as a human being, not just as a statistical goal. From the oncologist, to the nurse, to the technicians, to the emotional support, I actually had made several changes in my care until I was confident in my prognosis.

In the stands, were all of my family, my friends, and my co-workers. For most, I was their first exposure to knowing someone who had cancer. And up until my diagnosis, they also knew only that people died from cancer.

And then of course there was the challenge itself. But one thing that I made known from the beginning, I was not only going to beat cancer, but the team that had been put together, I was not only a team member, but I was the team captain, the head coach, the manager. I was going to be as much of a part of the decision making process as the doctors involved.

Then came my championship moment, getting to hear the words “you are in remission.” But just as a professional sports team wants to return and repeat as a champion, so is the life of a cancer survivor. From the word remission, we want to hear “still in remission” year after year. And for teams to maintain that championship caliber, adjustments need to be made, year after year. The frequency and dramatic level of the changes vary from year to year, and personnel will most likely also change. And not every game is won. Cancer has not been kind to my family as I have lost 5 immediate family members to cancer, and said goodbye to well over a hundred friends who lost their battle to cancer. And I have also had my challenges throughout my survival, physically, emotionally, financially, relationships, employment, but one thing has remained constant. I will not let anyone take away from me, what I have accomplished over the last 25 years. I have not become a long term cancer survivor just to give up, EVER.

The fact is that I am constantly encouraged to go on not only from my current doctor who wants me to “ be a grandfather” someday, but to the hundreds of cancer survivors I have met with a longevity more than twice as long as mine. Yes, even a 25 year survivor needs to be, and can be inspired by others.

The only change to my strategy came when I decided to add two very important members to my team. I was blessed to become a father to two beautiful girls. They are now my driving force to continue on. And if anyone thinks I was difficult to deal with before because of my tenacity, my daughters are my world and I know how much I mean to them. I live for them. They never knew me as a cancer patient, and I was fortunate to never hear them ask, “is Daddy going to die” just because I had cancer.

Today, because of research and progress, with the help especially of the Relay For Life, my daughters will only have heard that at one time cancer was unstoppable, a long, long time ago. Today, my daughters know only that Daddy survived cancer. And they are proud of that. When involved in fundraising projects, in seeking benefactors, their recommendation is always to someone battling cancer, or specifically Hodgkin’s Lymphoma because they want others to share the same success that I have lived.

Teams are successful, and repeat success with one simple action, believing in it. See it. Feel it. Live it. And believe it. And just as each successful team takes one game at a time, take each day at a time. When you look back, it will already have been a week, then a month, then a year, then a decade, and more.

I am not a professional franchise or a professional athlete. I am just a normal person, who had cancer. And I do not think that it is necessary for someone to be famous to be inspiring when we just want and need to know someone who has beaten cancer, like I have done. Beating cancer is not about how much money you have or how famous you are, it is about what you have inside of you, and using every ounce of your being, to one day, be a long term cancer survivor.

I will wrap up with a quote that I use frequently through various support web sites that I am involved with:

“As I drive on the road of remission, I will keep looking in my rear view mirror to make sure that you are still following me. And if for some reason, you are not on that road yet, hurry up and get on that highway. It’s a great ride once you hit the road.”

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