Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Animals”

Is The Dog Walking You?


I was out last evening for my usual walk, okay, I officially call it my exercise.  There must have been a special event nearby, because last evening there were a lot of dogs being walked.  There were dogs of many breeds, but as no surprise, the most numerous in attendance, were Golden Retrievers.

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Of course the idea of any exercise is to keep active, but I could not help it.  These furry “speed bumps” (speed bump defined as something that slows you down…lol) immediately stopped me in my tracks.  There were blonde, rust colored, puppies, and old-timers.  No matter what variety, any pet contact that a person can have, will have an immediate impact on your mental health for the better (unless you are one of the unfortunate people who have legitimate fears of animals).

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But it was the action of one of the Goldens that caught my eye, and triggered a happy memory back to my Pollo, my fourteen year old Golden that passed away a little over a year ago.

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Pollo was known to everyone as “the happy Golden.”

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He enjoyed all kinds of attention and showed it by this endless smile he always wore.  He was always pleasant whether at home, at the vet, or at the groomer.  There was just one thing that annoyed him, being on a leash.  Let’s face it.  If you are a dog owner, none of us want our “best friend” to be tied to a leash.  Dogs are meant to run free.  But unless your dog is 100% trained and compliant, all it takes is one simple distraction, like when I yelled “squirrel” to Pollo and he would race to the patio door to survey the yard for little furry varmints.  It would be at least two to three minutes before I could get his attention again.

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I saw Pollo’s disdain for the leash on two occasions.  And both were before his first birthday.  The first was during a house party, with people entering and exiting our house, Pollo being a social fur friend, wanted to be included in the party.  He was friendly enough so there was no reason not to.  But to allow people peace and be able to eat, I tethered him to our huge shade-providing maple tree.  Of course he would never yank on it, I had him trained to be on the leash.  Instead, he simply chewed through the very thick nylon rope and then proceeded to receive lots of yummy treats from my guests.

The second time occurred when I was getting him groomed.  While dogs are being cut, or dried, or whatever process they are involved in, dogs are often secured with a leash, not only for security so the dogs do not jump from the grooming table at the sight of another animal, or curious on-lookers, but in case the groomer needs to step away.  And it just took less than two minutes for that to happen, Pollo chewed threw a thick leash, almost an inch wide, and was enjoying his solo tour through the grooming salon.

Yes, all it took was for me to see one of the dogs last night, carrying his own leash, walking his owner.  And for that time, I benefited more from some pet therapy, than physical exercise.  I walk because I need to take care of my heart and my lungs.  But the stress that I deal with on a daily level can be more harmful than the conditions that challenge my physically.  And by thinking back to a happier time, that stress was gone for quite a while last night.

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2 More Milestones… One Big One To Come


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I was thrilled when I saw the view counter turn over 15,000 for “Paul’s Heart.”  But as I sat down this evening to write my current post, I was greeted by WordPress that today was the 2nd Anniversary of “Paul’s Heart.”  I keep a lot of “anniversary” dates, but admittedly, this one slipped my mind.  I have always enjoyed writing, going waaaaaay back to junior high school when I started writing poetry and song lyrics.  But from a professional level, things took off for my about four years ago when I got the opportunity to write through a volunteer writing program at Sloan Kettering Memorial Cancer Center called “Visible Ink.”

“Visible Ink” matches up patients and survivors with a professional coach.  Writers can just write to put their feelings and experiences on paper (I call it therapy), or writers may have something more structured in mind.  I have had several things published through MSKCC and beyond.  And to reach a bigger audience, I started “Paul’s Heart.”  Originally intended to share my experiences as a long term cancer survivor, I have used “Paul’s Heart” to share other experiences as well.  I have written topics about education, bullying, animals, fatherhood, and over the last year, about divorce.

But the milestones do not stop.  Though to official counters, this will be my 400th post, though officially I am not going to count this as my 400th, because I just simply stating the obvious.  There is no effort just to state facts.  They are what they are.

And the official counter on my homepage has now announced that I am less than 2 months away from my 25th anniversary, free from Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

Thank you everyone for keeping “Paul’s Heart” going, for all your warm comments and suggestions.

Paul

What Are You Getting Rid Of On January 2nd, 2015?


The day after Thanksgiving is called “Black Friday”, the busiest shopping day of the year.  The day after Christmas is the busiest day of the shopping year for “returns.”  And like many households all over, the day after New Year’s Day holds an annual ritual as well, disposing of Christmas.

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What takes an average of five to six hours just to decorate, tear down of the Christmas tree including from tree stand to curb, can usually done in less than an hour, unless you have Clark Griswald’s decorating ability.  Under normal circumstances, the ornaments get stored until the next yule season, and the tree itself simply gets tossed for trash (hopefully recycled), without a second thought.

But there is something else that happens way too much on January 2nd every year.  If you recall about seven days ago, it was Christmas Day.  And a very popular gift given every year for the biggest gift giving day of the year, is a pet.

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There is no doubt, next to an Xbox 360 for a child, or a beautiful diamond ring for someone special, or even a car, a fur friend is one of the most cherished gifts that can be given.  But puppies and kittens are not gifts, they are living and breathing creatures, with feelings and a loyalty stronger than human beings are even capable of committing.  But unlike our human babies as they grow, and get independent, our fur friends rely on us.  And just like children, infant animals can be trying and mischievous as well.  And just like a parent is committed to their child for life, when you purchase or adopt an animal for any reason, it is for life.  Lifespans for most animals are 80% shorter than a human, but that does not take away the responsibility of the commitment.

Animals are not novelties, something you can just get rid of or ignore, just because they may not be all the hype you thought them to be.  When I bought my second house, I was convinced that I needed a swimming pool.  Within a year, I was tired of the daily maintenance, the opening and closing processes, and I rarely got to use the pool after working nearly seven days a week to be able to afford the house with the nice swimming pool.  The novelty wore off.  But no one was hurt by me losing my love for what I thought would be the best thing in the world to have.

On January 2nd, everyone who received an pet for Christmas now is beginning to ease back into their daily habits, with work and school to resume on Monday for most.  But now instead of the hustle and bustle of the holidays, where you can work around the new arrival’s presence, it will not be so come Monday.  Most will have to accommodate for the young pet’s needs with a new schedule.  As you get ready for work, puppies and kittens need to be fed, and puppies especially will need exercise.  Kittens will be easy for caring with a litter box, but puppies will need to be trained to go outside.  Puppies cannot last an 8 or 10 hour day until you get home.  And while you may be understanding with the accidents on the carpet at first, your patience will wear thin.

Then of course, there is the attention that your little fur friend will want.  And with all the stress of returning to every day life, you now have to make time for someone else.

This unfortunately is where too many fail.  I have had everyone of my pets, 3 dogs, 8 cats, 2 gerbils, a rabbit, 2 guinea pigs, and two frogs, their entire lifespans.  And as much love as I had for my last fur friend, Pollo, given my current situation in my home and marriage, I knew the smart thing was not to take on someone new.

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I was not done grieving for my friend, and I am still not.  But I have little time right now, much to my daughters disappointment, to adopt anyone new.  It is not going to be out of the question that perhaps at a later time, I might consider it.  But were I to adopt someone now, I am afraid that it would end like so many others will end beginning today, abandonment.

Thousands of “gifts” will be dropped off at animals shelters over the next few weeks, simply because it was much more than was expected.  Experienced pet owners already know the grind involved with caring for a pet, such as daily husbandry and attention, but also how to deal with the “inconvenience” of what to do with a pet and a social and recreational calendar.

It is 100% wrong, to give up on something unable to care for itself, such as a fur friend.  Dropping a pet off at a shelter in most cases, may result in adoption to someone else, but for those who are not as fortunate, they are killed.  If you must abandon your pet, choose a humane society which is “no kill.”

But better yet, a suggestion that I have for you, reach out for help, ideas, other solutions.  There are many who will watch your pet if you must travel overnight or feed your fur friends, or meet any other need you may have now just realized.  But abandonment is not one of those options.

Please, you made a commitment to a living, dependent fur friend, who wants nothing more than to be loyal to you, cheer you up on your bad days, and no matter how long you might be away from each other, will always be happy when you return home.

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