Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Adoption”

My Story, Your Comments, The Future – What It All Means


I have to laugh when I think back to my college English days.  It was my second year, and I had received my first negative comment/grade on something that I had written.  All through high school and the first year of college English, I truly enjoyed  the various projects and topics that I got the opportunity to write.  But then second year English came along and changed that with my very first paper of the semester.  I got ripped apart by my professor.  And it was enough to make me put my pen away.  Every now and then I would pull it out to send something off to a local newspaper if I felt like stirring something up, but that was all.

But then an opportunity came up.  Though I have been involved with the program a couple of years, I am still learning the who’s, what’s and where’s of it.  The hospital that I travel to has a program of creative writing which joins up the writer, usually a cancer patient or survivor, with a writing coach.  And it is that simple, nothing more complicated.  There are opportunities to go further, such as writing articles for its cancer support newsletters and an awesome book called an Anthology which is published annually.  Each chapter published is also written by a patient or survivor of cancer.  And if even luckier, some of those chapters are selected for a live performance by professional performers at special survivor’s event.  I will have my second submission printed in that anthology this year.

I realized then how energized writing was making me again.  And to have a coach assist me in many of my writings gave me a completely different direction.  I made the decision that I wanted to write my own book.  I am still tossing around idea about the topic or topics, fiction or non-fiction.  But I had to do something with everything my brain was pushing out.  A very dear friend to me made the suggestion to put my stories on a blog.  There was some hesitation just because it was an entirely new concept to me, to be extremely public (beyond a local newspaper).

So I took her advice, created several topics which I have a personal interest or advocate for, and then I let my fingers do the walking.  I will do my best to mix up the topics so that no one loses interest, but also, I do not want to overwhelm anyone with many of the serious subjects that I write about, so I will try to mix in some lighter writings.  But it would end there would it not be for all the comments, compliments, recommendations, and constructive criticisms that you all have given me.  I am thankful for the efforts that you support me with by sharing my blog stories and recommending me to your friends.

I have several projects currently under way and I have literally dozens of new posts begun.  “Paul’s Heart” is more though than just some ramblings that escape the pocket between my ears.  It has also provided me with some very much needed self-therapy.  It has personally been amazing to look back on some of the things that I have been through, several which I had long forgot about.  But I am also developing a strong appreciation for the things that I have gone through and where I am today.

Ultimately, I hope that no matter what my story, it provides you with the needed laugh, the welcomed comfort, inspiration and hope when all seems unreachable, and so much more.  I have been so touched by many of the comments I have received as I honestly did not expect the deep sincerity and history of some of the comments.  I thank you for helping me and encouraging me to write about “Paul’s Heart.”

Paul Edelman

2013 Goal To Be More Informed, More Funny, More Inspiring


This year, I want to take this blog up a level.  I want go into my stories in alot more depth, a lot more personal.  I have a various amount of subject matter from Adoption, Bullying, Education, Cancer, Heart Disease, Emotional, Parenting, Relationships and so on. 

Our health is often scary, especially as we get older.  And as many readers have experienced, fear is not only normal, but expected.  But when you can her from someone who has been there done that, the circumstances could be different, but witnessing the end result can often boost our ease and confidence, reduce our fears.  I am going to take you on my personal journeys to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, and other facilities, that follow my long term cancer survival.

If I struggle with care, I plan to address that.  During a recent hospital stay, I had a doctor attempt to rush to release me though clearly the results had spoken differently.  Patients have rights, and the first step to exercising those rights, is to realize that you have them.

As I pursue another attempt at the North Penn School Board Director position, I will come across education related issues which I will share with you.  This includes curriculum, environments, bullies, and school safety.

Two of the major issues in my life revolve around cancer and cardiac issues.  Times have changed since the days I went through both and there are wonderful new opportunities and higher cure rates.  I want you to see that.

As my daughters get older, it will be possible that we will be facing issues related to their being adopted and our family being interracial.  Of course, nothing is funnier than watching his “baby girls” finally growing up.

I plan also to throw in some short story fun pieces, reactions to current events, and exploring oddities.

Most importantly, I want to inspire.  I deal with quite a lot physically, but when anyone looks at me, people respond with “but you look so normal and… healthy”.  I do what I can not to let my cancer history, side effects or other struggles define who I am, or limit me.  As always, I need your feedback.  Please feel free to comment on this page (good or bad – I want to improve my writing).  And please, share this web site with anyone you feel it could inspire.

I want to help you laugh, inspire, and deal.  Here is to 2013.

Hard For The Holidays


It is officially time for me to turn off the “anti” Christmas sentiment as Thanksgiving has passed.  I have always resisted and pretty much objected to not being allowed to celebrate Halloween and Thanksgiving without being overlapped by Christmas sale propaganda.  I have not always been this way.  But I have to go back to my childhood to remember when I embraced Christmas.  But my childhood is also when it began.

It was the year of my seventh grade, I was thirteen years old.  And of course, during the Christmas holidays.  Three relatives had passed away between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day.  That was the first year that I was not able to enjoy everything that I had received.

And then in 1988, just prior to Thanksgiving, I was diagnosed with cancer, Hodgkin’s Disease.  Admittedly, I was a “seasonal” Christian meaning that I went to church at least on Easter and Christmas Eve.  I still approached my minister as I chose that particular moment to recognize God.  And just as Job did, I questioned why, when for the first time I appeared to have turned my life around, everything going right for me, I would have it all brought crashing down.  Even two years later, as I was finally able to breath as I had been pronounced in remission, the scars had developed.  Over the next decade, things would get much worse as it seemed every crisis, whether it resulted in someone passing away or not, occurred around one of the big two holidays.

*  my stepmother, crossing the street, hit by a car, two days before Christmas

*  my former father-in-law being misdiagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease being kept in a nursing home drugged up on psychotropic drugs instead of realizing it was his regular meds that were causing the mental issues as his vitals were not being followed properly

*  my ex-wife (then still married to her) was hit head on in a car accident just after a New Year’s Day

*  Wendy was experiencing a severe bleeding issue that brought on other concerns right before an Easter holiday

*  my heart surgery was done just after an Easter Holiday

*  I was diagnosed Septic just before this past Easter

This list is more than three times longer.  But you get the general idea.  An approaching holiday to me, means most likely another crisis/tragedy for me to deal with.

This thought process, though in full swing though, has been shaken at least a little bit beginning in 2004 with the adoption of our oldest daugther.  The issues and events still occur, as I have come to expect, but I do my best now to not let these things interfere with my daughters’ enthusiasm.  Tonight, as we are walking through the Christmas Tree Shoppe, Madison came right out and asked me, “Daddy, why don’t you like Christmas?”  I love my daughters more than anything on this Earth and the last thing I would ever want to do is take their innocence away, especially when it comes to Christmas and Easter.

And even though every holiday comes and goes, and their smiles are endless as they spot their gifts under the tree, or see that the Easter bunny had delivered them baskets, at least my oldest has noticed that there is a grown up aspect to the holidays.  I have so much work to do to make sure that they do not grow up to believe about the holidays as I have grown accustomed to.

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