Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the month “February, 2021”

06 Feb 2021
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15 Blessed Years


On February 5th, 2006, I landed in Hong Kong for my second journey in parenthood.  Having gone through this almost two years earlier, while I was familiar with the process and things to expect along the way, I would soon realize, that I would learn even more about where my daughters were from, important so that I could let them know what it was like.

On February 6th, Emmalie was placed into my arms.

This was one of the events that was very familiar to me, and why I express, this moment, and the adoption of my older daughter, being the top two moments of my life, both their adoptions tied in the number one spot.

I was in China during the tail end of the Chinese New Year, Year of the Dog.  Fireworks cracked day and night celebrating the lunar new year.  Although I was pretty screwed up sleep-wise from the 13 hour time difference, I had no problem sleeping through the nighttime celebrations.

This is a picture of a new hospital across from the hotel we stayed in.  It is the same hotel as two years prior for my older daughter, but two year prior, this was a hole in the ground.  A couple of days later, I would get to see Chinese medicine first hand.  Long story for this post.

One thing we did not get to do two years before, due to SARS, was travel.  This trip, we were taken to a village, very similar to where my second daughter is from.  It was a humbling experience to say the least because unlike those living in the city areas, here, there was no running water or electricity, floors were concrete, and the people who lived here, survived on bare minimum.

Other things we did included going to a temple.

A trip to the medical clinic at the US consulate to make sure my daughter was healthy.

Big sister also got to deal with the new sleeping/sleepless routine.

Pictured here with my daughters, are the two most precious people to me, the ones who helped create my family, Helen and De.  Normally they do not get to see the children after the adoption is complete, but by coming back to adopt my younger daughter, they got to see Madison again, who they had not seen since two years before.  They were so happy to see her and showered her with gifts.

She has a million different expressions that she can make with her face, and almost all bring a smile to anyone near her.  I describe her as my comic relief, because she really is such a funny daughter.

But if there was one thing for certain, I would not be here today, if it were not for my daughters giving me the will to keep fighting.  Having had cancer, it was next to impossible in the US to even think that I could become a father.  China gave me that opportunity no questions asked.

I have been blessed to see both of my daughters grow through their childhood.  This time of year always reminds me of those first days and how far we have all come.

 

Posted in Adoption, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart
05 Feb 2021

“But You Said…”


The following question came across my feed yesterday:

“I am halfway through treatments, and my scan shows I am in remission (YAY!).  Have any of you quit doing the rest of the treatments?  My doctor wants me to keep going.”

The question is a valid one, and emotional one.  As anyone who has gone through treatments that have brutal side effects can tell you, given the chance to drop any, we would likely all do it.  But there is also a reason to seriously consider the risks of not doing it.

I was originally scheduled for 6 cycles of MOPP-ABV chemotherapy, my radiation therapy having not been successful in keeping me in remission.  I had already been warned by my oncologist, there was a likelihood that I would actually end up going through two additional cycles as a “preventative” measure.

I had my scan to see the progress of the treatment at number 4 treatment.  It was November of 1989.  I won’t forget it.  I was told I was in remission.  The first words out of my mouth were, “ok, that’s all I need then, right?”

My oncologist responded, “you could.  But you have to ask yourself, having not stayed in remission before already, wouldn’t it be better to finish the treatment regimen and make sure that you stay in remission this time?”

As excited as I was to hear the news of remission, I was brought crashing down to reality.  My doctor was right.  I wanted to stay in remission.  And not only did I finish the remaining two treatments, but I did the additional two “preventative” treatments.

If you follow my blog, then you know I am now approaching my 31st year in remission next month.  I may not know if I did not take the extra treatments, if I would be able to make this claim.  But I do know that I can say that I did make it this far because I did.

Look, when we are dealing with a severe cold or infection, we are usually given antibiotics for a period of time.  We are told to take them all.  Yet, some may feel better half-way through and think “I don’t need to keep taking them,” and stop.  Then, SURPRISE!  The infection returns, sometimes worse.

Science studies medicines for dosages and duration.  There is a reason if you are taking an antibiotic for ten days, you take it for ten days.  It is not enough to just beat down the disease.  All it takes is a few cells to regenerate more and you are back where you started.  Not to mention the fact, that after taking the full regimen, the drug’s effects itself are likely to last some extra days, continuing to give you protection as you heal.

I use this example when trying to explain the importance of continuing chemotherapy or other treatment, when someone has been told they are in remission.  Yes, we want to get to remission.  But more importantly, we want to stay there.  Approaching 31 years in remission myself, I guess that kind of proves my point.

Posted in Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
04 Feb 2021
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In Recognition Of World Cancer Day


Today is World Cancer Day, established back in 2000.  It is a day that many cancer patients and survivors take time to recognize, that they are not alone in their fight.  It is a day of hope for awareness and support.

I am approaching my 31st year in remission of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma next month.  I am the lone survivor of cancer of four other family members, who faced other forms of cancer.

In my decades of survivorship, I have been blessed not only with longevity in spite of cancer, I have met literally thousands of other cancer survivors in one form or another.  I am even fortunate to know of other survivors who are decades ahead of me in lifespan.

I have witnessed the progress of diagnostics, treatments, follow-up protocols, as well as the increase in rates of survivorship.  In less than 30 years, my modes of treatment are considered obsolete.

I have faced my share of health issues that are caused by my treatments from long ago.  But that has not stopped me from living life.  I do what I am able and I enjoy it.  Sure I miss many of the things that I used to do, but I have found other things to do instead.

But my biggest blessings are my daughters, my reason for every tomorrow I get to experience.

I have not only gotten to become a father, I have been able to watch them grow.  And now, I prepare to witness their next phases of their lives.  I never take this for granted.

I have also experienced my share of sorrow as I mentioned multiple family members I have lost, but also friends and other acquaintances.

No matter where you are in the world of cancer, a patient, a survivor, a caregiver, or if you have been someone fortunate to never have been touched by cancer, please keep everyone in your mind and hearts, not just on this day, but every day.  No struggles are the same, and successes are not necessarily guaranteed.  That is why we have to capitalize each possible moment we have with each other.  Because it can all change with three simple words… “you have cancer.”

In closing, I found some inspirational quotes that I would like to share on this day, that I found on the web site, IndiaTVnews.com:

“Working out is my way of saying to cancer, ‘You’re trying to invade my body; you’re trying to take me away from my daughters, but I’m stronger than you. And I’m going to hit harder than you.” – Stuart Scott

“There’s no one way to tell how our experiences change us or shape us. Not all transformations are visible. What I’ve learnt is to never let it hold me back. I’d rather dress up and show up!” –Sonali Bendre

“Time is shortening. But every day that I challenge this cancer and survive is a victory for me.” – Ingrid Bergman

On this day, those who are now facing cancer, perhaps just diagnosed, you can get through this.  For those who are close to completing treatments or have done so, YOU DID IT!  For those in remission, I say this, a popular expression I have used over the years, “as I continue down the road of remission, I will keep looking in my rear view mirror to make sure that you are still following me.”  And for those who have longevity greater than mine, you are my true inspiration for not only lays ahead for me, but drives me to want that as well.

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