Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

04 Jul 2015
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Happy 4th Of July


 

 

 

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(This was purely coincidental, but it turns out, this is my 500th post on “Paul’s Heart”.  How appropriate is it to express my freedom of speech for the 500th time, than on July 4, 2015!)

Happy 4th of July!  Happy Independence Day!  Or as many people recognize today, Happy Unofficial Midpoint of Summer Day!  After today, many will already be looking to the Fall season, reinforced by television ads for Labor Day sales, and “back to school” sales, hence, the “midpoint” reference.  As with the majority of the holidays that we hold dear to us, the true reason for recognizing these holidays often gets lost.  As a result, I look forward to the next Jimmy Kimmel video asking people on the streets of Hollywood why we celebrate July 4th.  And to be fair, I will give the benefit that the answers will not be about picnics, the beach, and fireworks.  But the answers nonetheless, while hilarious, will be just as sad.

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This is one of the most important documents in our nation’s history.  It declared our independence from the King of England.  More than two dozens of examples of his tyranny were listed as the reason for demanding our freedom.  The most glaring of statements in this document reads as follows:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

I will qualify my right to my opinion, and that is all it is, an opinion, one which would be guaranteed me by the next most important document, our constitution, which of course were followed up with the Bill of Rights, which honestly, as an proud American, and by choice, a Christian, this document should not have even been necessary to have been written.

The fact is, we declared our freedom on July 4th, 1776, 239 years ago.  Wow!  I cannot believe I have lived through the bicentennial and will also get to witness a historic 250th Independence Day in just six years!  And freedom means just that, free.

I appreciate that I am free to exercise my free speech, something several countries cannot do.  While I do not believe in gun control, I do believe that our country has not done enough to keep guns or any weapon out of the hands of people who should not have them.   I cherish my right to have  a religion, or not to have one.  And that means simply, do not cram your religious beliefs down my throat, and I will not impose mine on you.  Lutheran, Jewish, Catholic, Agnositic, Atheism, Buddhism, Muslim, are no better religion than another, which is why there must be separation of church and state.  But nonetheless, religion, or lack thereof, is important to the individual and should be respected.

But getting back to the statement about unalienable rights, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” I do believe as the United States of America, we are forgetting just how important this is.

While our country is quick to criticize other countries’ civil rights records, per capita, our country violates more rights than any other.  No one incarcerates more people, especially for profit, than the USA.  And no one disrespects the rights of another human being’s right to exist than the USA.  I am not talking as a whole, but rather a large population of bigots who do not remember what our country became on July 4th, 1776, free.  And that means whether we are white, black, or brown, we all have the right to live in the United States of America.

Somehow, we need to get back to just remembering how important those unalienable rights are, life, liberty, and he pursuit of happiness.  Too may people do not get medical care when needed.  And those that can get medical care, may not get the level of care needed.  Medical care in the USA, if we are to be the greatest country in the world, the most humane country in the world, should lead by example by caring for its sick with the best medicine for all that it has available.  There is no reason for poverty in our country when we are pouring trillions of dollars into rebuilding other countries.  Our country spends too much time telling women what can and cannot be done with their bodies, criticizing people of the same gender for wanting to be happy, and claiming their religion better than another.  People used to have what was once called an “American Dream” only to have it taken away by manipulative greedy banks and corporations.  Capitalism was to have guaranteed us the American Dream, part of our pursuit of happiness and life, only to have it ripped away by greed.

And let us not forget those, over the centuries, beginning in 1776, that fought for our independence, to protect our freedoms.  I have several family and friends who are veterans of the armed forces.  Whether I believe in the harms way that they have all been put in, they have done so because they love our country.  And we as citizens of this great country can protect our country just as strongly by recognizing and standing up for our unalienable rights.  This is what our founding fathers wanted back in 1776.

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Posted in Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Politics, Recreation
03 Jul 2015
4 Comments

Remembering Anita


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The above image is from a fellow long term survivor of Hodkin’s Lymphoma’s FB page.  Anita was the moderator of a Facebook page for long term survivor’s like me, which helped to provide support and information, in a world, no matter how many doctors exist, long term survivors of many cancers remain unable to find the help that they need.

This morning, I learned of Anita’s unexpected passing.  Perhaps unexpected is really an inappropriate word.  When someone unexpectedly dies, it is because a person is otherwise considered healthy.  And when someone who is considered healthy goes to the hospital, they are handled as such.  But cancer survivors, and I will speak only specifically about Hodkin’s Lymphoma survivors because that is the cancer I battled over 25 years ago, are not healthy.  In fact, unless you have been treated for Hodgkin’s in the new millennium, or at the least, after 1990, there is a good chance that you were treated with such harsh and toxic drugs, and exposure to radiation four times the lifetime maximum a human being is supposed to ever see.  And as statistics often point out, the benchmark of survival is five years.  We all look to reach that goal.

It is what happens after that five years, that becomes the problem.  Medicine never really studied the late effects on the body of cancer survivors because simply put, we were not expected to live long enough to develop them.  BUT WE DO LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO DEVELOP THEM!

Which is why, what Anita has done for literally nearly 300 other Hodgkin’s long term survivors, has made a difference in each of our lives.  Anita is not the first person to take on such a supportive venture, as it was to her benefit as well.  I first learned about long term survivorship from a woman named Linda Zame who co-founded a support group for long term survivors on the American Cancer On-line Resources site… acor.org .  She invited me to that online support group in 1997, and though I was having no issues yet, it was because of what I learned from her, and the nearly 500 others in that group, what I would eventually be dealing with in my survivorship, and how critical it would be for me to be my own advocate for my health care.  Sadly, she also passed away following complications from a medical procedure.

The thing is, I knew Anita, fairly casually, only through private message exchanges in regard to operations or situations on the Facebook page.  But that does not make her death any less painful for me.  Since 1997, I have said goodbye to so many other long term survivors, who did not die from their cancer, but from complications of their survivorship.  Because of each and every one of them, any medical professional that has me as a patient, gets an education from me in cancer survivor care whether they want it or not.  I learned from others the precautions that need to be taken with all of my issues (cardiac, pulmonary, spinal, muscular, GI, immunological, and psychological) and for that I am eternally grateful to people like Anita and Linda.

It had originally been suspected that Anita was dealing with pneumonia.  And with the average healthy person, her symptoms may have resulted in that diagnosis.  Unfortunately, discovered too late, it was congestive heart failure, a common fate for those who have survived so long, and for too many, undiagnosed with this condition because medical knowledge is not available or taught to every doctor to look for.

Yes, I am going to have my typical day remembering another survivor who has passed, difficult.  I will do my best to be inspired by all the good that she has done for survivors all over, so that I do not overwhelm myself with the thoughts of similar issues that I, and other survivors deal with on a daily basis.

Anita, I know you are in a special place right now.  But I want you to know, I appreciate everything you did for me in the brief time we knew each other.  Your support and encouragement will be missed.

Posted in Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart
02 Jul 2015

Personal Judas


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“Personal Jesus”, one of the great songs of the 1980’s by Depeche Mode.  And that is all it is, a song.  This post is not about a personal Jesus.

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Now I could have posted a picture of Lady Gaga for my personal Judas reference, but I do not think you would get the picture I am trying to paint.

Judas, is notorious as the disciple to betray Jesus for 30 coins.  Judas wanted, someone gave, and in return, he became one of the original examples of being a traitor.  Throughout history, we have examples of traitors.

Aldrich Ames, the Rosenbergs, Brutus, and one of the most referenced, even using his name to describe a personal “Judas”, Benedict Arnold, all surrendered the loyalties for personal gain, often times regretting what they had done.

But acts of treason do not need to happen on a national or historical level, to do major damage so an individual.  The best of friends and family members can all be torn apart, when the acts and desires of one, are deemed more valuable at the expense of another.  The reasons may differ, greed, knowledge, the claim to wanting to be bi-partisan, but the act is still an ultimate betrayal.

Of course in Christianity, Judas’ betrayal of Jesus led to a major religion having its “savior.”  So for many, what seemed like a bad idea at the time, is a good thing to many today, as it is for this event, that many believe in forgiveness.  In history, like the Rosenbergs and Ames, governmental secrets and accusations of spying could have had disastrous results with major fatalities.  No good could possibly be gotten from that.

But if you are dealing with a personal Judas, the feelings involved are just that, personal.  The traitor is still selfish, acting on only their own behalf, at the expense of another.  The acts continue to build resentment, and often, make the situation worse, and in the end, not at all what the perpetrator had originally intended.  But just as Jesus knew “the plan,” information that others were not privy to, so goes any act of betrayal.  In a selfish quest for personal gain, the result will always be the same, someone else getting hurt, not the perpetrator, and not the person the perpetrator is acting against.  And in the end, there will be no forgiveness.

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