Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Politics”

Too Big To Fail = Too Big To Care


Geezer alert!  I am going to show my age by being able to recall days gone by, when local mattered.  And times were good.  I do not normally do stories like this, but an incident this morning kind of struck me just how far things have gone.  And honestly, I do not know if it has been worth it.  I will let that up to you.

I was helping a friend with their stove this morning.  I used to do that kind of work years ago, and this particular task was easy, and not very physical to do.  So I made the call to the local supplier to see if they had the part, which they did.

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Simple enough, “how much?”  “A little bit over $50 and we have it in stock.”

My next question threw him for a loop.

“Do you have any aftermarket replacements?”  I asked this because at one point, the aftermarket company “Chromalox” actually used to make the element for the name brands.  Yes, you then paid the much higher price just to have the name brand logo on the part.  Years ago, being able to buy “generic” from local parts places saved you considerable money.  But if you went to an “authorized” wholesaler, per the manufacturer, they were not allowed to sell the generic equivalent.  The truth is, at one time, if you needed a belt for your washer, a lint screen for your dryer, a door gasket for your refrigerator, or an element for your stove, generics were always available.

“No, we only carry OEM (original equipment manufacturer) parts.”  So of course I looked around to find someone who was not authorized to sell those parts thinking surely, I would be able to get the original part with the original manufacturer’s name, Chromalox, not the manufacturer of the stove.  It was then that I found out that the manufacturer had bought out the generic replacement line I was looking for.  And yes, now my friend must pay the higher price.  But as I reflect on the past, for decades we have seen that mergers, though originally sold to us as “good for the consumer because it would increase competition which of course would bring lower costs,” I now call bull officially.

Here are some other examples:

telephone

Do you remember when nearly every town had their own telephone company?  Do you remember the customer service we had when there were issues with the lines?  Sure, the costs we thought were high, but look at the times now with just a couple of major players?  Customer service now means talking to someone outside of the US if you are lucky, and with all the hidden extra fees, we are now paying WAAAAYYY more than the days when it was just “Ma Bell”.

money

Banks?  I do not even have to go there because we all know that all the mergers produced one of the biggest collapses in our economy.

cable

Cable TV?  We are on the verge of a monopoly with this one, and our rates have never been higher.  Sure, their defense is “look at everything we are now offering your though… 1000’s of channels of programming.”  I only want four or five of those channels.  And if you try to break down your “package” by eliminating the services, amazingly, it will only drop your $150+ bill by five or ten dollars.  Come on, cable, phone, and internet for $150?  But if I want to drop the phone line, my bill will still be $145?  And anyone who has tried calling “customer service” for at least one of the major providers knows that company only provides “disservice.”

pharmacy

Big Pharm… wow.  The motto used to be “everyone needs prescription drugs” which of course should have translated to job security.  But as mergers occurred, jobs were eliminated.  And as drugs came off patents, generics soon crept in making the medications affordable.  But then Big Pharm started gobbling up generic manufacturers, and now look at today.  The costs of generics are beginning to climb to where many patients are in the same situation as trying to afford the original drug… they cannot!

medical

And here in Florida, as in many other states, doctors are being swallowed up by “health networks”.  This is resulting in the elimination of the general practitioner.  The numbers of general practitioners in the state of Florida are down nearly 50% as their practices are swallowed up by these networks.  Gone will be the times that you could see a doctor, for your life, who knew you, and cared for you.  You will now become just a number, and will get a “standard” level of care set by the network, not necessarily what you need, and perhaps might not need.

Of course, there is the big target, Wal-Mart.  How many local businesses have been put out of business by this company?

Too big to fail?  Too big to care.

From The Beginning… Again


There comes a time in every cancer survivor’s life (and perhaps even during a cancer patient’s life – though admittedly they probably have more important things on their minds), if they happen to be single or not married, when a decision is made to start dating.

Dating is hard enough, with pressures of personalities, interests, social circles, and everything else just to come to a conclusion if there is going to be any chemistry between the two, or possibly any future.  As if things were not hard enough, imagine being in the position of having to tell someone you are interested in, that you had cancer.

We often make light of just how fast a relationship develops into the physical aspect, and of course the emotional aspect, but just when is the right time to tell someone you had cancer?  Or in many cases, even more serious issues.

Dating certainly has changed over the decades since I was last “single”.  My two marriages were back to back.  There was no “Match.com” and I detested blind dates.  For me it was simple, I would get up the courage to ask someone out who I was already familiar with.  Of course, my first marriage, I was diagnosed with my cancer before we got married, so ex #1 had to deal with the cancer issue directly.  But as my first marriage ended, I began dating ex #2, who had already known that I had a cancer history, so there was no need to discuss it.  She had known me long enough to know that the only thing that would be an issue from my cancer, was that chemo had left me infertile, unable to bear biological children.

But unlike past relationships that had ended, I was in no hurry to develop any new relationship.  If I am being honest, I have no intentions of ever getting married again after the way my second marriage is ending.  This is unusual for me, because historically, it has always been my nature to start dating right away, and developing a serious relationship.  I had gone further with ex #2 than anyone in my life with feelings, development of family, and support during the toughest of times.  But the acts of betrayal that we both perceive in the failure of our marriage have hardened my heart from every wanting to unite in marriage with anyone ever again.  If I was ever to get serious with someone ever again, I will only allow our relationship to be simple enough, that if it ends, the collateral damage is reduced to near minimal.

So here I am, single, not necessarily looking to date, just looking to build my life socially which had been destroyed through the dissolution of my marriage.  To rebuild my friendships, and build new ones, it would mean that I would once again, have to explain my story, my health story in particular.  As you can read anywhere on “Paul’s Heart”, it is quite complicated, and can be quite demanding.  To accept me into a life, is not an easy decision.  For those who only want to see “positive” messages from me, I can do that.  But the reality is, there unfortunately is going to be a lot of “negative” as well.  But it is my hope that there is hope taken from the “negative” messages.

Dating was going to be another story, now that I felt I was ready to try again.  In all the romantic movies, relationships grow smoothly and according to scripts.  And they all have scenes of each other staring into each others eyes, mushy and silly conversations over dinner.  But when do you drop a bomb on a perspective date, “I had cancer.  But not only that, the treatments I went through are slowly destroying my body.  I have had heart surgery, have lung issues, spine issues, muscle issues, immunity issues, GI issues, oh, and yes, emotionally I have an issue with surviving all of them.”  Reading that last sentence, you would agree, I am quite a catch.  But not in a good way.

The complicated thing is though, I do not have to tell anyone this.  If you look at me, and without knowing anything about me, no one would ever know the train wreck that is my body.

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I can date, and date, and date, and no one would ever have to know.  Of course, if things progressed, I would certainly have a lot of explaining to do.  I have two six inch scars on my chest and abdomen, clear evidence that I had been through something traumatic.  And needless to say, once my shirt was removed, the conversation would ensue, and that would be it for the mood, and probably any future because I had not brought it up sooner.

Just as life often goes, things often happen to you when you least expect them to, a job, a house, friends, or even someone special.  You are always going to be your most comfortable, in your own environment, and amongst the people that you already know.  And they will know you well enough.

But for the first time in my life, being truly single, and with no intentions of ever wanting to be married again, I met someone who at least has opened my heart again.  Neither of us have any intention of getting married ever again, and that is actually a good thing.  Because it is going to allow us to be who we are, without having to change or concede who we are.  And this is going to be a new beginning… again.

To be continued… next post.

Elections Need To Be More Than Just About Politics


Vote Tuesday

For the first time in three years, I am not playing an active role in politics, local or greater.  It feels good on one hand, because my schedule has been a lot lighter.  I learned first hand what it takes for a candidate to make the commitment of running for a public office.  I also found out the price a person pays for exposing themselves to public scrutiny.  There is no such things as privacy, once you set out to do the “right thing”.  And often times, because of the success in the direction of a campaign, the methods used by opposing sides to deal with the more positive campaign, are nothing less than questionable.  And because of the timing of such negative attacks, typically days before the election, there is little time for the “good guy” to respond.

Last year, I shocked my campaign when I informed them that I had filed for divorce.  I had to tell them, because  my ex-wife’s family expressed adamantly that they would do everything they could to cost me my campaign run as revenge.  Their threats included anonymous letters, and protests at election polls.  The most surprising came when a family member actually called my main opponent to spread three brutal, but defendable lies, only if I had the time to do it, which days before the election I did not.  I could prove everything a lie, but I did not have the time or the money.  I could only hope that with it just days before the election, people had paid enough attention to the good that I wanted to do.  After the election, I would deal with the slander that was tossed around.

Long story short, they followed through on their threats.  I did lose the election, but I will not give them the credit for costing me the election.  Voter turnout was abysmal.  With a huge voting base, and plenty of angry voters, a change for the better could have taken place.

People take elections for granted.  Now I am not going to get into Republican versus Democrat because personally that irritates me.  Elections are about making an informed decision, not being told what to think.  The strategy of voting “straight R” or “straight D violates my belief in making an informed decision.  If I believe a candidate in either party is going to support what I believe, I will vote for them.  As long as a candidate is going to run the business of government, local, state, or federal, without infringing on the personal beliefs of others, I will vote for them.

Everyone should vote.  As they say, if you don’t vote, you cannot complain.  And a vote will not make any bigger difference, than in a local election.  Literally, every vote counts and might just make a difference.

Vote Tuesday 1

There are two elections of special interest to me.  The first is back in my home state of Pennsylvania.  A dear friend is running for election to House Of Representatives.  Suzan Leonard is a stand-up candidate.  She does not duck questions or topics, and is quite up front what her concerns and plans are for as a State Representative.  As a school board candidate and member, Suzan carried herself with nothing but professionalism.  She has stayed true to what she stood for as a member of the school board.  And for that reason, I hope my friend Suzan wins the State Rep office that she has truly earned through her campaign.

medical marijuana 5 medical marijuana 1

The other election concerns Amendment #2 in the state of Florida.  I have written enough to show my support of why this amendment is necessary to be approved.  Those who oppose Amendment #2 are doing it for the most selfish of reasons, which has absolutely nothing to do with the amendment itself, but strategy has planted the seeds (no pun intended), that legalizing medicinal marijuana is legalizing recreational marijuana.  Which it does not, and will not.  What the legalization of medicinal marijuana will do, is provide relief to millions of patients who cannot find relieve through other expensive and addictive prescription medications, many of which are more lethal and addictive than marijuana.

Vote Tuesday 2

So, get out tomorrow, Rock the Vote.  It is your duty, no matter what election is happening in your area, school board, judge, state rep, whatever, your vote does make a difference.  It is up to you.

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