Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Inspired By…”

05 Aug 2013

Then And Now – Final Day Of Treatment


Today’s post is dedicated to a young man in Southern Florida.  I am not using his name to protect his privacy.  I have never met this “kid” in person (at age 23 he is just a kid), only through the internet.  He was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, just as I, at around the same age as I.  I learned of him as he was completing his second or third treatment.  Tomorrow, he will receive his last treatment.  I will be anxious to hear of his every moment from the impressive milestone.

The day had finally arrived.  It was a week late because the prior week, my blood counts were too low.  The option was to modify the chemo for that week, or delay the treatment a week and see how I feel, or just cancel the treatment all together.  The doctors decided that it was best for me to delay my treatment for one week.  I had done so well up to this point, had gone through 7 1/2 cycles.  I needed this one last set of infusions, and I would have solidified my chances of surviving Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

That Friday, March 3, 1990 began just like the other Fridays of treatment.  I would go into the oncology office, by myself.  My name would be called twice.  The first time was to do bloodwork and confirm that I could handle going through the final treatment.  I had been cleared.

The second time that my name had been called, it was to walk back to the chemotherapy suite.  As usual, my oncology nurse Brenda was busy setting up all of the syringes.  I sat down in the chair and began to roll up my sleeves.  I was not sure which arm would be used.  I just know that my veins had been destroyed by all of the chemicals that had been used to save my life.

Brenda turned around, looked at me and asked, “you ready?  You have finally gotten here, the end.  This could not have been easy for you.  These are such hard drugs to use.”  I gave her an agreeing nod, and like that, she had already stuck the needle into my arm.  Half of the cycle resulted me dealing with nausea, the second half, did not give me any problems.

And so over the next hour, I received my final treatment.

After the last drip, Brenda began the process of removing the catheter from my arm.  “Now Paul, when you get up from this chair, you have to imagine that there is a marching band playing for you, in triumph.”  My eyes lit up and all of a sudden, I could “hear” the band as I walked down that long hall from the chemo suite, for what I was determined to be the last time.

With the internet today, over 23 years later, internet support groups now make a daily post announcing those who are completing their treatments.  And today, there are pictures of these milestone.  Someone is either holding a sign announcing the date and the event, or many hospitals have a huge bell that is rung each time a patient completes their treatment.  Even more impressive, is that every day, people join the millions of cancer survivors, MILLIONS!  Unlike 23 years ago, I know many of these survivors.

Tomorrow, my friend will complete his treatment, twelve cycles, countless injections.  This is no easy fete for anyone to accomplish.  The physical toll is nothing compared to what the mental toll can take through the whole experience.  From the fear of death, to the frustrations of having ups and downs, and no way to control them, the emotional toll can be brutal.  He was blessed during this journey with having the strongest support than I can ever recall.  As I went through my battle, I remember often the times that I said “I wish I was younger so that my parents could have made the decisions about this cancer for me”.  His mother has been by his side from the first moment.  As a parent myself, I cannot imagine having either of my children have to face such a disease.

But Dude, you have done it!  You have gotten to your final treatment.  You have done it with courage, strength, and determination.  The support of your mother, sister, grandparents clearly played a roll in beating this cancer.  Tomorrow is your day.  Congratulations and this is for you…

“As I continue down the road of remission, I will keep looking in my rear view mirror to make sure that you are still following me.”  This is a quote that I often write to many who recognize such milestone days in their battles with cancer.

It is over 23 years for me.  I wish you the same lengthy and healthy longevity that I have experienced.  Good luck tomorrow.

Your friend, Paul

Posted in Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
17 Jun 2013

Excuse Me, I Asked For Mine “Medium”


At one point or another, most of us have called the waiter over, and made a comment about food served to us, that it was not made as we requested.  And we are more than aware of the Youtube videos and television news shows that show what happens behind the scenes of wait staff and chefs who get agitated when a customer complains about the food.

Yet when it comes to the care of a loved one by someone in the medical field, we hush up, like they might do something to us.  What that “something” is, I do not know.  When it comes to food, I have heard stories ranging from sinuses being emptied onto the plate, food dropped on the floor and put back on the plate… it does not matter, as long as the food is cooked the way that we want.

But the example I would like to use, is the medical environment.  I do want to say, that nurses are so overworked, and so understaffed.  This is what I see a major problem.  They are entrusted to care for the patients, but can be bouncing from room to room like a pinball.  A family member who visits regularly, will often encourage their loved one to speak up when it comes to discomfort or pain, but will usually do nothing.  Just like the orange call button will not get used.

I am going to take this to a further extreme.  What happens when the care of the individual requires the extra effort by the caregiver?  And the caregiver refuses just out of convenience?  The situation is a patient that needs assistance in and out of bed (actually all care), asks for help to go to the bathroom in the overnight hours.  But the hired caregiver refuses.  Now the patient instead wets herself, saturated.  Family members are concerned that if a complaint is raised, it will result in the caregiver treating the patient even worse.

What would you do in a case like this?

You make an immediate phone call to the agency and tell them this will never happen again.  The agency will get the message loud and clear.  They do not want any further issue either as it will only turn out bad publicly for them.  But to do nothing is the wrong thing to do.  You must not let the fear of retaliation by the caregiver (should the caregiver’s actions go unpunished to prevent them from happening again).  Just think of the possibilities of not only what they have done to your loved one, but what about others under their care?

If you have no problem asking for your steak to be a little more cooked, or your french fries to be without so much salt (a trick to get fresh french fries by the way), you should have no problem getting your loved one’s needs taken care of.

Posted in Bullying, Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
14 Jun 2013

Visits With Dad


This upcoming Father’s Day is a special one to say the least, given the events of the last month.  And today, it is exactly one month since my father’s health took a dramatic turn for the worse.  But I am happy to say, that after last night’s visit with him, he is doing great on the road to recovery from not just the original issue of lung cancer surgery, but as a result of or during, or following that surgery, two strokes, and a heart rhythmn issue.

I describe the relationship with my father in two stages basically, basically the two halves of my life.  The first half was based on the results of a bitter divorce, the second half was a matter of circumstance and reconciliation.  Both of us will undoubtedly agree we have made the most of the second half.  In a prior post, I mentioned my admiration for my father.  But in recent weeks, I have learned just how strong a man that he is.

Several months ago, my father had been diagnosed with lung cancer.  After smoking for nearly 85% of his life, fifty-seven years worth to be exact, it came as no surprise when he asked the doctor, what was most likely the cause of his cancer, and then told without a doubt, “smoking.”

The best option for him was to have the cancer surgically removed, meaning he would lose half of his lung, if not all of it because of where the tumor had been located.  There would be risks with the surgery, but my dad was confident what needed to be done.  There had been some slight concerns during recovery, but otherwise, he had tolerated the procedure well.

Within the next twenty-four hours, my brother and I realized something was wrong.  And it would be another twenty-four hours before and it was confirmed.  My dad had suffered two strokes.  But because he was recovering from surgery, it was difficult to determine what damage my dad would be dealing with.

In the days that followed, he would be transferred to a rehab facility, and work very hard with various forms of therapies from speech, occupational, and physical.  Each day, his goals became very clear.  He wanted to go home.  He wanted to be independent.  He wanted to go home to his wife.  There was some confusion on his part that stood in his way, but then the day came.

I picked my father up from the rehab hospital, and stopped by the store for some flowers for my dad to give my stepmother.  Just seconds through the door, he gave the flowers to her, and then sat down at the table next to her, grabbed a deck of playing cards, and together, they did what they often did as if time had never stopped for them, played cards with each other.

He continues to improve, and much to his objections, still has some caregiving to help make sure he that any emergencies are able to be dealt with.  But some day, we all hope that he gets that 100% independence that he had before he had the surgery.  Knowing my dad he will get there.  He is so close.

Happy Father’s Day Dad!

Posted in Adoption, Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment

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