The dentist, a meeting with the boss, even going through my cancer treatments, I have never tried to prevent something so much, rather accept, what I am facing this year. My daughters are growing up, um… grown up, one now eighteen, the other in her late teens. As I go through the department store with either, and we pass the early childhood wardrobes and footwear, I am reminded of a time, seemingly long ago. I want to go back. I cannot. But that does not mean that I cannot dig my heels in as deep as I can, holding on to the very last second, that I have to let go.
Of course, time deals with my resistance. As I said, I have one daughter now eighteen, which means no longer covered by the custody order between her mother and I, she now decides on the time that we get to spend together. Not that she does not want to, but, she does have other things in her life to deal with, whether it be a school activity, hanging with friends, a date, or even work.
The “W” word, work, came up some time ago, actually a couple of years ago. Though I had been resistant to the idea, in spite of the fact that I myself worked as young as the age of fourteen, my only hesitation was the impact that working would have on their school work. As a student, I was a slacker. I was good at just taking tests, not applying myself with homework and studying, so, working did not impact my grades. While my grades were good, needless to say, had I applied myself better to my schoolwork, by not working, sure, my grades would have been better.
As a parent, I have a different outlook. The one request I made of my older daughter, that any hours that she worked, would not interfere not just with her schoolwork, but any activities related to school, especially when it came to the potential of earning any kind of college scholarships.
Earlier this year, she did enter the work force. It is not interfering with school, nor family time.
Now, my younger daughter wanted to get into the act. And again, I found myself in the position of saying, “it must not impact your school work.” Complicating things for her, she is still under the custody agreement, meaning that she is visiting me during the Summers yet, the best time for a teenager to earn some scratch.
Controversy aside from the so-called “worker shortage,” and being somewhat difficult that she would be considered a “seasonal” worker, I began to look at opportunities for her while she would visit with me. I did explain to her, that I would not allow her into the food industry as of right now, for two reasons, low wages and hours that would likely take advantage of her. I know this, I worked in the food industry a long time ago and have friends working in it now. It has not changed. I attempted retail for her, but they all wanted her of adult age. Then it hit me.
We have a seasonal water park, and they were looking for help. Perfect! I will skip the whole process of getting hired, but she was in fact hired, and is looking forward to her first paycheck. But long before that first dollar comes to her, I noticed something.
One of my first jobs as a teenager was also as an employee of an amusement park.
I actually worked there twice, once operating games, and in this photo, after graduating, operating rides. But it gave me a great experience. And I recently found out, after asking how my daughter’s first day went, that job also gave me a new perspective about employment, just as it did for her.
Sure, she is excited about earning money to save for college and other things. But she is also learning, just as I did, there is more than meets the eye when it comes to a business. We only see the board of menu items, order our food, pay for it, and eat it. We try on clothes in the fitting room, and leave the articles of clothing in a heap for some poor schlub to hang the clothing back up if we do not purchase it. And this one really bugs me, the poor person having to gather shopping carts located all over a parking lot just because someone is too lazy to return them or at least place them in a holding area for shopping carts (Publix has them located all over the parking lot).
My daughter had experienced this park before, but as a guest. She was now getting to see what happens behind the ticket window, what employees have to deal with, not just let someone through a gate or put on a ride. She has gotten to see patrons with legitimate issues to deal with, and some that were just being a pain in the ass. She watched small children have meltdowns at the prospect of having to go home. And my personal favorite, having experienced it plenty as a ride operator, dealing with a guest who “lost his lunch.”
Yes, we go to an amusement park, we have a great time, bitch about the things that did not please us, and hopefully we had a great time. To the worker, sure the paycheck is nice, but the wall has been torn down. As an employee, we hope that we have never acted the way that our customers treated us.
It is a short stint for her, as it being seasonal and the kids go back to school soon, but it was a great opportunity and experience for her. As an adult, a happy environment is not always likely as the pressures of life and habits of adulthood become an added complication of the work environment, making it feel more like “work” or working to enjoy work.
Admittedly, it has been fun sharing stories of each of our experiences working at an amusement park, even if they were decades apart.
This is Travis Campbell of Virginia. He is 43 years old. And yes, he is a Covid19 patient. He is also someone who has been resistant to taking the Covid19 virus seriously, including getting vaccinated. He is publicizing his journey on social media. In his words, he “messed up” in not getting the vaccine. His current status, having graduated downward in his condition, has him now in the ICU. In his videos, you can hear him struggling to breathe.
This is not the part of his story that gets me. I am tired, after a year and a half of trying to convince people I know, who either deny the reality of the situation or have gone full throttle conspiracy in getting through this pandemic. My friends who believe opposite what I do in regard to Covid19, know that I will respect their decision, no matter how wrong I feel they may be. Notice, I am not saying they are wrong, but rather, I feel they are wrong. And that is different. Because I really think, that if they took a step away from the resources they use to make their determination, and look at the science and facts, from reliable sources, like their doctors, just as I do, they would definitely at the least, have some doubt about their current stance.
But emotionally, I just cannot offer any sorrow at this point for anyone making the choices against prevention, against mitigation, against common sense, only to get smacked in the face with reality. I have several friends who work in health care, including a long term Hodgkin’s survivor who is “forced” to work, taking care of Covid19 patients in spite of her vulnerabilities. And I find it even more offensive than earlier, that with at least the option of being vaccinated, the majority of patients being seen, are not being vaccinated. My only thoughts and prayers are not for those patients, but for my friends and other front line workers and their families who have not asked as part of their career choice, to take care of people who blatantly have such disregard for public welfare and saftey.
In any case, I do not wish ill on anyone, and I do hope that Mr. Campbell can recover. Though his last update yesterday, does not offer that promise. He has been switched from different levels of breathing assistance, and moved into the ICU for his care. He stated in yesterday’s update, that he now has blood clots as well as a crystalizing in his lungs, both common side effects of the virus, known from the beginning, and for me, being vulnerable, all I needed to know, to know that I could not afford to contract Covid19, confirmed by my cardiologist who stated very plainly, “if you get Covid19, with your heart and lungs the way they are, you will die.” That is not Facebook or any news outlet, that is my personal doctor who knows my health. Of course I take this seriously. But you do not have to have my vulnerabilities to know that blood clots and this crystalizing to know they are bad for even “healthy” people.
It is the next part of my post, that is what bothers me the most, and honestly, should have been a no-brainer for Campbell, long ago. He is now likely heading to the next level of care, and possibly the final level of care, being put on a respirator. And as most know, being put on a respirator for Covid19 is a bad prospect, with fairly good odds of never being able to come off of it. Death. Even the possibility of death while being on the respirator is not enough to convince people to do what they can to avoid Covid19. Ask any of us, who have ever been put on a respirator for any of our non-Covid19 procedures (myself at least six times that I can remember), and how unpleasant the process of being intubated is, should be enough to turn you back into giving a shit. But not Campbell.
It is his last words from yesterday, that have actually broken through my shell, and really have me shaking my head with his situation. He has two young children. As do I. As he prepares to be placed onto a respirator, he held a conversation with his son, 14 years of age, that if by some chance, he does not survive, he asks his son, that when the time comes that his sister gets married, he would “give his sister away” in his place.
When I watched this, I lost it. My friends and family know how much they all mean to me, and will not take offense to this comment, but my daughters are my world. Anything and everything I do is for them. From the very first health crisis I faced, my emergency open heart surgery, through the too-numerous-to-count more events, I have fought through everything, for them, so that they would never have to experience the loss of their Dad, at least in their youth, like several of their friends.
My life almost ended in 2008 with a widow maker heart attack, were it not for the emergency surgery. And then I found out, why that condition happened, and all the other health issues I deal with today, late developing side effects from my treatments for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, high doses of radiation, and toxic chemotherapy. Yes, I have survived 31 years because of what was done to me, and it has come at a cost. But, my doctors have all told me, they will do what they can, to at least keep the pace of the development of these issues as slow as they can, since it cannot be reversed. And we all have the same goals: to see both my daughters graduate and possibly go to college, perhaps get married, and even give me grandchildren. I am close to that first milestone with my oldest one year away from graduation. And I am doing all that I can to get to all of these milestones.
That is what finally broke through me about Campbell’s situation. I never want anyone else to need to walk my daughters down a wedding aisle. And that is why, knowing what I know about my health, and knowing what I have been told by those closest to me that I trust the most, my doctors, I am doing all that I can to avoid contracting Covid19. Is it a guarantee? Hardly since I live in Florida and the majority of people are still fighting the obvious, and a governor who refuses to encourage any kind of precautions. But I am doing all that I can. And for those crying “my freedom” or as I call it, free-dumb, I am still “free.” Like all the other illnesses that I have gotten through in my survivorship, it is because I listen to those that know, my doctors, that I am living my life, one day at a time, doing all the things I want and need to do.
As a father, I can only hope that Campbell can recover so that he can walk his daughter down her wedding aisle. I could never imagine anyone else doing it for my daughters.
It is hard to believe that we are more than a year and a half out, and we are still completely split in opinion, support, and action when it comes to dealing with the Covid19 pandemic. While this is literally a global issue, in the United States, we have the ability, the knowledge, the skills, to at least get a grip, to confine it, to control it, yet we cannot.
The problem is not a new one. But between special interests, social and right wing media, the efforts could not have been made more difficult and confusing. It began so badly, that even political positioning took a priority over one’s health.
It is July, 2021, over a year and a half into the Covid19 pandemic, over half a year now, our best effort to deal with the Corona virus, several vaccines available, and we still cannot see the end of this pandemic as numbers of cases begin to rise again. Science stated, “do these things, wear a mask, social distance, wash your hands, and we can get this under control.” But the response by too many was after expecting people to do the right thing, “nope, I am free to do what I want and I won’t do those things.”
Factor in the anti-vax movement, which admittedly, has been around seemingly forever, just during Covid19, has gotten extremely loud and visible. The problem with the anti-vax movement is that they are all or nothing. Yes, every medicine, every vaccine comes with its risks. HEEEELLLLOOOO… I made the choice to be treated for cancer, by experimental treatments and I am here thirty-one years later, but I do have issues from those treatments. I could have been anti-treatment, but then you know what I would be? DEAD!
And that is the problem that I have with the anti-vax movement, right wing media, and all of these other special interest groups. Just the other day, on one of the extreme right news channels, one of the commentators actually stated, “maybe nature meant to create things that wipe out entire civilizations, and we are interfering with that.” Seriously? This person believes that we should just let Covid19 rip through the globe and the world resets? I should not be surprised as it was a similar mentality in living during the beginning stages of the AIDS crisis back in the 1980’s.
So, let me get set. My position has always been, that I support the vaccine. At the same time, because of my health history, I know that my vulnerability to Covid19 is extreme, but I also know that I will have issues with the effectiveness of the vaccine. And sure, there is a part of me, though no longer a dominant thought, that I was uncomfortable with the process of the discovery and development of the vaccines that are currently available.
To be clear, my opinion is my own. I do not learn important details about dealing with Covid19 from media resources, the details come from my own doctors who I trust completely, more on that in a minute. But I do have pillars that support the decisions that I make, and that does include facts reported by reputable news sources (typically central in political lean), science, and common sense.
For instance, did you know the actual discovery process for the Corona virus was actually started around ninety years ago? To grasp this concept, and put as simple as possible, just as the flu, and other diseases, it is only the strains that change over the years, but the foundations of the base virus itself are still the same. So, even though we are dealing with Covid19, named after its discovery in the year 2019, according to USA today (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/01/21/fact-check-covid-19-vaccine-nearly-20-years-making/3873247001/), the Corona virus has been around since 1930. And even more familiar to our memories, the prior most famous Corona virus, was SARS, back in 2003. This one stands out to me in my memory, because it was in less than a year, I would travel to adopt my daughter. So yes, the development of a vaccine does take a long time, but science did not just start working on this vaccine in 2020. It was started almost two decades ago. So when the president created “Operation Warp Speed,” it was definitely meant to make the process go faster, but the truth is, the discovery part of the process was already there, it was just the research of the safety and effectiveness of the vaccine, which cannot be sped up because clinical trials take time to occur, but also the bureaucratic process that really takes time.
Fortunately, studies were showing that the vaccines that were being developed worked, and were safe, and that was based on healthy patients, with no comorbidities (that is how clinical trials work, you have to be otherwise healthy). Statistically, scientists do not expect 100% results and when it comes to vaccines, a success range of 65-75% is considered good. Two of the top contenders against Covid19 have success of well over 95%. Historically, this is unheard of.
But that will not stop someone from protesting the success of the Covid19 vaccine, instead with a reference to “VAERS”, the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System, established by our own government. Those that use this website as the backbone of their arguments against the vaccine make it awfully convenient that they forget one major issue, rather a disclaimer (https://vaers.hhs.gov/data.html). You see, anyone can file a claim on VAERS, it does not have to be the doctor or administrator of the vaccine, it could be a patient. The fact is, there is no verification of any claim. There is no proof provided. Just taking someone’s uninvestigated and unproven word for it. VAERS states, “VAERS reports alone cannot be used to determine if a vaccine caused or contributed to an adverse event or illness. The reports may contain information that is incomplete, inaccurate, coincidental, or unverifiable. In large part, reports to VAERS are voluntary, which means they are subject to biases. This creates specific limitations on how the data can be used scientifically. Data from VAERS reports should always be interpreted with these limitations in mind.” Using VAERS as a reason to not get the vaccine, is definitely flawed.
Then there is the misconception about what the vaccine is really for. While the vaccine definitely shows that it can prevent contracting Covid19, it definitely shows the benefit of lessening the severity such as requiring hospitalization or death. And that alone should be a pretty strong motivator. The science is still out if it will prevent carrying Covid19 asymptomatic. And there are known cases of still contracting Covid19 after the vaccine, though either with few or no symptoms. One thing is for certain, deaths attributed to Covid19 in recent weeks, average well over 97%, all were unvaccinated. That is a damning statistic.
But here is what the vaccine does not do (all addressed by the CDC). It does not make you magnetic. It is safe to get pregnant. It will not alter your DNA. It will not cause you to get Covid19 (if you contract it, you got it from someone or somewhere else, that is the only way).
Alright Paul, a lot of info here, so what does that have to do with your concerns and not getting the vaccine… yet? As I have previously mentioned, as a result of having had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and one of the procedures used to diagnose me, left me without my spleen, I am what is referred to as “immuno-compromised.” Simply put, I have a hard time fighting illnesses or avoiding them. But as I also found out many years ago, my body does not make antibodies for vaccines without boosters or additional vaccine. In my childhood, I was given the usual vaccines that were considered lifetime. During my Hodgkin’s days, in preparation for diagnosing, staging, and treatment, I was given additional vaccines for other illnesses, they too were supposed to be lifetime.
Surprise! They were not lifetime, at least, they were not any longer. Worse, once discovered that I no longer had protection, I would need multiple doses, of what at one time was supposed to be one and done forever, to get immunity. And that is where I am at right now with the Covid19 vaccine. There is no schedule for more than just the two shots. There are no plans for boosters, though there at least is discussion and studies now being conducted on additional dosing.
The position I have taken, is that for me to take the two doses, and the likelihood of them being ineffective, do nothing for me physically or mentally. I would not be able to resume non-mitigation life with the false sense of security provided. And with no plan or approval for additional doses if needed, when the option would eventually come out, would the process still be viable, or would I have to start all over.
There are two confusing issues right now concerning this. One, the talk over boosters. Pfizer, one of the vaccine makers says it wants Emergency Use Authorization for boosters. Of course, our government wants the concentration on getting more people originally vaccinated before concentrating on boosters. Then of course there is the cynicism of Pfizer’s perceived financial benefits of booster approval being a priority.
The other confusing thing, not lost in all of this, the vaccines are not “approved” yet. Sure it is just a formality until all the red tape is completed, but with hundreds of millions of doses administered, and hardly any adverse or serious confirmed reactions, these vaccines will do what they are supposed to. In other words, we need those vaccines officially approved, and that will take away yet another argument by those hesitating or refusing to get the vaccine.
As I said, I am for the vaccine. Logic, science, and common sense are guiding me when I will finally get it. But as our nation sees an extreme and quick uptick in new cases due to the more dangerous strain, I may have to alter my thinking a bit. Because, while I have been able to “live” among Covid19 for this long and not face a Covid19 diagnosis, the odds are closing in on me, especially as I live in an area that is notorious for denial of not just the vaccine, but even the virus itself, and the politics of the individuals. While I respect people’s rights to have their opinions, the reasons behind their choices in this situation are completely misguided, delusional, and dangerous.
The last time we dealt with something so catastrophic like this, was polio. And do you know why we do not have an issue with polio and have not had an issue with polio for decades? Because we had a vaccine. We did not have a country whose citizens decided that it was acceptable for millions of people to die from something preventable to avoid a vaccine.
Just this morning, I saw an interview with Dr. Tom Frieden, former CDC director. The question was put to him, specifically about boosters for people like me, whether battling cancer, history of cancer, or compromised immune systems. He replied that there needs to be an understanding, there is a difference between a booster, and a schedule of a third shot. A booster is used when the coverage from the vaccine is waning. But what is being studied is the “schedule” of what it takes to get to that level of immunity. When and should a third dose, or possibly a fourth dose be given? And would it be safe? While I have been stating this concern for a long time, this is the first that I have finally heard it mentioned. And I am glad that they are now looking into this.
I have two resources that I rely heavily on for when I make this decision, both personal doctors of mine. One, anxiously waits for me to go ahead and do it, because he definitely feels I need it, and I do not disagree. But my other doctor agrees with how cautious I am being. But when these two doctors align, that will be my time. Not the media. Not opinions. Facts. Science.
American Cancer On-Line Resources
Internet support from peers, caregivers, survivors, and professionals in several hundred types of cancers and related issues
American Cancer On-Line Resources
Internet support from peers, caregivers, survivors, and professionals in several hundred types of cancers and related issues
Paul's Heart 