Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Family and Friends”

The Dentist


Being diagnosed with cancer and having to go through chemotherapy, pretty scary, right?  Having to undergo open heart bypass surgery… definitely scary, right?  But going to the dentist, the anxiety produced is more than the total I felt between the cancer and heart surgery combined.  That is right, up until one point, I was more terrified of going to the dentist than when I had gone through cancer treatments and laying on the table next to the machine that would keep my body alive while the bypasses were performed.  And believe it or not, there actually is one good reason to be concerned about going to the dentist, but not what you think.  My reasons for delaying my appointments bordered on ridiculous.

My earliest memories of the dentist were not too bad.  Sure I had cavities, but Dr. Weaver was good working with kids.  My first reaction to receiving novacaine did not go well as I reacted like an eight year old might, legs thrashing about in pain.  A little nitrous oxide took care of that.  To make sure that the laughing gas had taken effect, I remember Dr. Weaver taking aim at an airplane mobile hanging from the ceiling in the corner, with his water gun which would be used to irrigate my mouth as needed.  But in the years that followed, I had no issues with getting to the dentist, or having cavities.

But somewhere along the road, a fear, and anxiety developed.  I cannot even explain it, but it led to me not being seen for over six years.  And even then, I had gone through two more dentists due to the fact that I had moved to a new city, plus, that same anxiety was becoming an issue.  I cannot say that at that point, my long term cancer survival issues had played any role, because those late developing side effects had not appeared.

In 2008, eighteen years after my diagnosis of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, I faced open heart surgery.  All went well, and I was introduced to the world of long term cancer survivors and the many issues that many face due to the toxicity of what we were treated with.  I had broken a tooth.  I knew I needed to get seen before anything went wrong, such as an infection, so made the call to a local dental office.  It was during this appointment that I met Dr. P.  She is a young woman, but very skilled, knowledgable, and empathic with her care.  She had advised me on the risks I face, sepsis with the abscess that had been discovered examining the broken tooth.  An infection in the blood (sepsis) traveling to the heart, can be fatal, possibly within hours of being discovered.  To make matters worse, from my diagnostic plan in 1988, my spleen was removed to see if I had signs of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in the spleen.  This procedure left me “asplenic” which means that I cannot fight off infections, or as well as a normal person.  She had mentioned root canal for this tooth due to an abscess, followed by a crown.  My anxiety level hit the roof, and out the door I went as I decided to just have the tooth pulled as this was going to be needed to be done by an oral surgeon.

Following the tooth extraction, despite knowledge of how important good dental hygiene is, especially to a heart patient, I made a conscious decision not to return to the dentist for regular check ups.  I had done a lot of reading concerning the issues of not just asplenic or cardiac issues, but how frequently heart issues are discovered just by going to the dentist.  Simply put, if you are someone who does not floss regularly (and who has not gone to the dentist and not been asked or told to floss regularly), it is not just the risk of gingevitus developing, but the bacteria could just end up in your bloodstream, leading to sepsis.  Septic shock is fatal if not caught soon enough.

It had been a couple of months past the six month check-up window that had been assigned to me.  I just kept delaying the appointments.  Then something strange happened, and often.  Until I finally relented the phone calls kept coming.  It was Dr. P calling personally to follow up on me, and the importance that I get into her office to be seen, regularly.  To make sure that I understood her sincerity, she hit me where it would make me pay the most attention.

Dr. P. acknowledged my late term side effects, and the concerns with the jaw, mouth, and teeth due to the various treatments I had received for my Hodgkin’s.  She stressed that it was important that I come in for the regular cleaning and check-up.  I actually lost count on how many times she called me personally.  But Dr. P. was not going to give up.

When I finally made the decision to come into her office for the cleaning and check-up, Dr. P. took the first half hour of my appointment, just listening to me.  Listening to me babble on about my irrational anxiety about going to the dentist.  In what may have been her last opportunity, she began a discussion about pain management.

When you get a tooth cavity filled or the tooth itself pulled, the dentist has various means to numb the nerves and surrounding gum area to eliminate or minimalize the pain.  Dr. P. does not use nitrous oxide, but she does use Ambesol along with novacaine.  The Ambesol topically numbs the gum area to be injected.  The novacaine will do the rest.  But what if you have not been given enough novacaine?  You ask for more.  The chances are probably close to 99% that you can have a booster of novacaine, in fact, several boosters if that does not work.

It has been three years since Dr. P. convinced me she was not to be stressed about.  During a recent visit to have a cavity filled, my gum was not cooperating and it took seven stabs of the novacaine before she could proceed to fill my tooth.  But she took that time.  I trusted her.  I think I am finally over my dental anxiety.  As a cancer survivor exposed to radiation therapy to my lower jaw, the structure of my upper and lower jaws is crucial.  And she knows that.

And The Race Is On


I have been campaigning for our local school district now, going on my third year.  I learned alot from my first campaign effort in 2011.  We had a great slate of candidates to run against the incumbants, but with all of us having little experience running a campaign, we spent a lot of time spinning our wheels with efforts that could have been concentrated on something else.

I think we have a great start to the 2013 North Penn School Board race because we never stopped campaigning at the end of the election in 2011.  We continued to stay active attending school district meetings, meeting voters, reading articles, and attending training sessions.  And then things really fell into place when along with our campaign manager, several other volunteers stepped up their efforts to help us.

The primary election season went very quiet compared to 2011.  In 2011, the incumbants chose to employ a strategy that they hoped would infuriate the voters and eliminate us from any kind of competition.  They chose to use the picture of a handgun, to promote their school board re-election campaign.  It was truly an offensive piece of literature, accusing myself and fellow running mates, that if elected, we would be “committing armed robbery” on the taxpayers.  To quote one of the former board members (he lost his re-election bid, most likely due to this flyer), “we had a message to get out, and we got that message out.”

I will never forget that smugness.  With annual reports of gun violence in schools, to promote the election of the leadership of the school district using a picture of a murder weapon had no place, not just in local politics, but any politics.

2013 is considered an off-year for elections.  There is no presidential race, no election for governor or any other high profile office.  But North Penn School District is the 6th largest school district in the state of Pennyslvania.  It should come as no surprise that our school district election has attracted alot of attention.  Other school districts are watching to see how a mostly Republican dominated school board stands up to a huge challenge of its power by genuine vested members of the community.  Local government officials are paying attention to this race.  Off-years generally produce the lowest voter turn-out.  But with the momentum from 2011’s election, we are hoping to prove that theory wrong.

The primary this year was indeed very quiet.  Even the election day itself went without issue with the exception of a few questionable tactics by poll-workers representing the party of the school board.  There was not even any newspaper coverage.

Well, the Summer is half over now, and as the school district makes preparations for the upcoming school year, it is also a time for our campaign, to line up on the starter blocks.  We have a huge undertaking on our hands taking on a monstrous machine in the form of the four incumbants.  But we, as candidates, who also happen to be parents of North Penn students, home owners and taxpayers, believe that this is the year, to finally make educating the students of North Penn a priority in the decisions that aer made by the district.

It has been over a month and a half since the election, but last night, we got our feet “wet” again with an invitation to another local office’s campaign.  It felt different than two years ago, when we were trying to get ourselves “known” to the public.  Now I was being introduced as someone with an opinion and direction that matter.

A Carnival Of Cancers


I would like to dedicate this story to two young people that I talk to about their cancers.  One has just celebrated one year of remission, the other, is approximately a month away from completing his journey.  Both have faced their Hodgkin’s.  One has beaten it, the other is almost there.  I am happy for both of you.  Your experiences during your fight with Hodgkin’s that you have shared with me, are truly an inspiration.  The support that you had from your families, should serve as the example of the support that all patients need to get through their fight with cancer. 

Whether visiting the boardwalks of the shorelines, or local carnivals, it is not uncommon to hear some barker call out to passer-byes to step right up, and win a prize.  While the games are fairly easy to win, the prizes are awarded by some ladder scale from small to largest, and when played long enough to get the larger prizes, come with quite a price.

But imagine if the dialogue went something like this:

“Step right up, come on over, give it a shot, it’s real easy.  Everybody gets it.  Is it going to be small or large?  How lucky you feeling?  And we have a winner!  It’s cancer, but not just any cancer.  Hodgkin’s Lymphoma folks.  He’s got Hodgkin’s Lymphoma!  Who’s next to test their luck?”

Of course this is a ridiculous premise, but I challenge you to find one person, who did not hear these words from an oncologist, “You are really lucky.  If you are going to get a cancer, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is the cancer to have.”  I will let the doctor off the hook in a second, but for now, imagine, you have just been told you are lucky and that you have cancer.  What would your reaction be?  You have a deadly disease, remission or cure is not certain, but for you, the news is good.

For myself, I was in an office of an oncologist / hematologist.  I had no idea what that even meant.  All of the prior doctors that I had seen had been looking for some sort of cold, or perhaps an injury when one of them decided to send me to this place.  I was not even placed in an exam room, but rather the office of the doctor.  He walked in to the office, around his desk, sat in his chair, and then rattled off an obviously often rehearsed speech.  I have no idea how, but with just the first two words from his mouth, “Hodgkin’s Lymphoma…”, it triggered an automatic response of something I should never have known what it meant.  By the time he finished that first sentence, ending in “rare form of cancer.”, I had already guessed that is what he was already talking about.  Then I heard the word from him, “cancer.”  I knew I was in the wrong place, the wrong patient, the wrong diagnosis.  But he kept on talking.

“Hodgkin’s is rare, but it is also highly curable, at 85%, if you are going to get a cancer, Hodgkin’s is the cancer you want to get.”  I “want to get?!?!”  Seriously?  I wanted to get cancer, so I pressed my luck and came up with Hodgkin’s?  People die from cancer, and he is telling me that I am lucky?  Pardon me, but are fucking kidding me?!?!  I did not want cancer!  Let me be clear, I did not want it.  I did not wake up that morning, and make a choice between buying a lottery ticket or getting Hodgkin’s.  Clearly, winning the lottery, that would have required luck.  Cancer kills.  How is that lucky.

Now as promised, I have to cut the doctor some slack, but hopefully those who are reading this, and have been in this situation, not just with cancer, but any serious crisis, print this, and give this to the doctor to read.  Like I said, I am not going to hammer the doctor.  Let’s face it, next to a cardiologist, the oncologist has to deal with one of the most grim disciplines of medicine.  And if they have been practicing long enough, the tended to plenty of patients, whose prognosis were definitely more grim than today.  So there may be an oncologist who may not have the best or happiest bedside manner.  But hopefully we can get it across, by passing this on, there is no such thing as luck with developing a certain cancer, or how advanced a cancer is compared to another.

I would rather have had the doctor say, “I am sorry to tell you, that you have cancer.  Here are the statistics, and here are the modes of treatments used to treat it.  I am going to do everything I can to put your cancer into remission.”  It is that simple.

I was not lucky.  I was diagnosed with cancer.  I was treated with chemicals and radiation that were toxic and difficult to go through.  I was left with some permanent after effects from those treatments, some serious, some not so much.  The last thing I consider myself today is lucky.  But what did happen?  I tolerated the treatments.  My body endured.  My physiology was able to handle the all-out assault of the chemotherapy and radiation therapy.  This was not luck either.  My body did what it had to.  The treatments did what they had to.

Please, do not get me wrong.  It is no minor accomplishment that I am here twenty three years later.  I often wonder how the other three kids who were treated with me turned out.  Progress in the diagnostic techniques and treatments of not just Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, but many cancers has advanced so far in the last two decades, and from the times before I was treated.  Survival rates for Hodgkin’s has increased from 85% to 95%.  And there are many cancers that have achieved 100% remission or cure.  In spite of the positive direction that cancer research has taken in two decades, I know better than to tell the many newly diagnosed patients or those currently in treatment that they are “lucky that they did not have to go through what I did, or those before me.”  Patients today are still being diagnosed with a deadly disease, high cure rate or not.  We are not lucky.  We simply hope that we have made the right decisions in the doctor, the treatments, and have the right support team with us.  this is not luck.  We simply count on everything to go as the books say to do.

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