Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Education”

Awareness Works!


I have mentioned repeatedly how little knowledge people have of lymphoma.  In spite of famous celebrities being diagnosed with lymphoma, it rarely catches the attention or inspires any movement toward a cure.  Funding for research barely exists because of the belief that it is better to fight the bigger cancers believing that once that victory is one, finding cures for the little lesser known cancers will be sure to follow.

In other words, patients and survivors of blood cancers – lymphoma and leukemia – we are on our own.  But we have it in us to create a movement to find our cures.  Look at the success of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.  Susan G. Komen did not just happen over night.

I have told my story here over the last year and a half.  And once I started sharing stories of other patients and survivors, viewership picked up even more.  “Paul’s Heart” was being shared across multiple sites.  Even “Stephanie”, the subject of “Stephanie’s Words” posted last week was shocked when I told her that her story reached over 4500 people between my blog here, and the “Paul’s Heart” Facebook page.  This is not something to be taken lightly.  “Paul’s Heart” has momentum with stories like this.

And with more stories, as I approach 10,000 views on this blog alone, more people will become aware.

I had several goals when I started “Paul’s Heart”:

*  more awareness of lymphoma

*  inform survivors and comfort survivors that the late effects they are dealing with from their treatments are very real

*  improve protocol of treatment surveillance before, during, and after treatment

*  eventually write my story into a book and other projects

Here’s how you can help.   Do you have a story about a journey through cancer that you would like to share?  It can be from the patient, caregiver, or survivor point of view and any aspect of the journey itself.
If you are interested to tell your story like I do, or like the stories from Michael and Stephanie, please email me at pedelmanjr@yahoo.com .

And from my heart, I thank you for all of your support.

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Light The Night – So Much More Is Needed


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Tonight, I participated in my first “Light The Night” walk for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  For many of you, this may come as quite a shock given how much I write about my cancer history and the stories of others.  I will admit, I have known about the LLS for most of my survival, but only recently became aware of Light The Night in recent years.  Like so many before, I concentrated most of my efforts for cancer support with the American Cancer Society through the Relay For Life and Making Strides.

I do not want to take away the efforts of the Relay and the ACS, but as I have pointed out several times throughout this blog, the whole idea of even needing the LLS and Light The Night, is just as important as the awareness of blood cancers such as lymphomas and leukemia.  I recall memories of my childhood where the majority of the conversations of cancer were dominated by one major killer, leukemia.  Sure, other cancers existed, but leukemia was pretty much the frontrunner at the time.  But since then, other cancers became more common, and more popular, especially to support.  There is no argument that breast, lung, prostate, and colon cancer are some of the biggest and most popular cancers today.  And because of that, the American Cancer Society, and most of medicine today, is focusing on cures for those.

But for those with a lesser cancer, like mine, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, which only makes up 1% of all cancer diagnosis, the goal of the ACS and medicine is to find a cure for those bigger cancers.  The school of thought being that if they can solve the big ones, then the little cancers will be some much easier to beat as cures will surely follow.  When in reality, lymphomas and other blood cancers are beatable cancers.  And the cures are so close.  But lymphoma and leukemia do not get the support for research like the other cancers do.

I wrote about the “Faces Of Lymphoma” last month, hoping to spark some debate about all the popular people who have had lymphoma.  Society seems to respond when celebrities face breast cancer, colon cancer, surely that would have the same effect if people knew all the celebrities that had lymphoma.  Nope.  What is it about lymphoma really, that it does not matter to society to push for that cure?

Then I published two other stories, both with different endings, about Michael and Stephanie.  These were two of my more popular posts, and I do hope that perhaps seeing their pictures, would stir up support for a cure.

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And so on this night, I met two very important people from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  They are involved with the Southwest Florida chapter.  I spoke to them in great lengths to find out what can be done to finally take that next step to not only finding a cure for lymphoma and leukemia, but how to take care of its survivors who have had to battle the side effects from their treatments.

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Next year, will be bigger and better.  I want to make sure of it.  As we finally made our walk, as I looked around at the 500 or so people, very few white balloons which symbolized survivors.  There were way too many gold balloons which symbolized loved ones, I am not sure if they were still living or passed away.  But seeing how I did not see a lot of white balloons along with the gold ones being carried, I could see how much more needs to be done.

Just as when I did my first Relay For Life, my first Light The Night left me filled with emotion.  I no longer consider my survivorship of 24 years as “no big deal.”  Considering how many people still die from lymphoma, I am one of the lucky ones.  I want everyone to have the opportunity to survive this awful disease just as I have, minus the late effects of course.

Beam Me Up!


For those of old enough to have remembered the “old days without” certain technologies, and at those time thought such technologies would never happen, I for one am glad those technologies had been invented.  I am glad that the flip “communicators” used in the 1970’s television series Star Trek became common as hand held cell phones.  By the turn of the century, nearly all of us were able to afford and use a similar looking communication device as Captain Kirk, the cell phone.  But even more impressive, growing up watching that television series, was the concept that one day, we might be able to see each other as we talk to each other.  Of course we were already broadcasting images and sounds across the television, but to actually have a conversation while looking at each other seemed impossible as Captain Kirk communicated with his ship mates on the planet below.

But then came camera accessories for the computer, which would eventually lead to programs like Skype, Tango, and Facetime.

Being away from my children, over a thousand miles away would be so much more difficult would it not be for this new technology.

My parents had a custody agreement, which back in the late 1960’s was quite rough on the fathers who virtually had no rights.  I do not know the exact orders that my parents had between them, but I do know that I only saw my father, every other Sunday, and for just a few hours.  He was not able to see me or my sister.  He regularly missed special events in our lives such as birthdays, special events in school, and more.  Sure, we could talk on the phone.  And we were living just two cities apart from each other, so there was no great distance.

In my father’s last years, we often talked about what happened in the past, and how he wished that things would have been different for my childhood.  But unlike technology helping with the future, technology cannot give us back the past.

But as I continue on through this second year of the divorce process, I am taking the lessons I learned from conversations with my father.  Yes, I am a huge distance physically away from my daughters.  Thankfully, with technology, and a court order, I am allowed to see my daughters at any time, no matter how far apart we are.

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Every night, we chat with each other on Facetime.  We talk about the day’s activities, homework, boys, and upcoming plans, and what we would like to do next time we are with each other.  We tell each other we miss each other, and love each other.  And I get to say goodnight to them.  Of course we use other technologies to keep in touch with each other from texting to videos, to just plain phone calls.

The same courtesy is given to their mother when the girls are visiting me.  As my friend Matt told me, I will miss a lot of events in their lives, and there are some that I will be able to attend.  And when I do, those will be extra special.  And those that I cannot, hopefully technology will give me the ability to share in those memories.  But with everything we currently have, I would have only myself to blame if I did not get to “see” or talk to them each and every day.

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