Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Cancer”

“Paul’s Heart” – 50,000 Views Strong!!!


Typically, people dread Mondays.  While I do not dread them, Mondays are not my favorite day of the week.  HOWEVER, today is a great Monday!  As the counter states, “Paul’s Heart” has had over 50,000 views officially this past weekend.  Among some of the other stats that I have completely not remembered, I have published 764 posts (765 including this one).  There are 252 more posts in draft form, and hundreds that are just prompts.  And then there are more than a dozen published stories and articles that I have share on this site.  So many readers have either commented or written me with questions, situations, seeking advice, or simply just to say, “yeah, I totally get that.”

Just some of the topics that I cover regularly:

  • cancer and survivorship
  • adoption
  • parenting
  • healthcare
  • discrimination
  • parental alienation
  • education
  • bullying

I am driven by the expression, “those who cannot do, teach.”  Because I am a cancer survivor, I cannot donate blood or organs.  Because of cancer treatments, I discovered the world of adoption.  I have taken on discrimination and won.  I do not tolerate bullying at all.

But my one goal with “Paul’s Heart” has not been met yet.  Actually writing a book.  I have begun the process many times, each with a different concept or approach.  The only conclusion that I can reach as to why, is that I have not experienced yet, that one key moment that will either be the beginning, the focus, or the conclusion of such an endeavor.

In the meantime, I will keep writing about things I cannot do, but can help.  I will continue to be a voice for those that do not have the ability or confidence.  I will research and find answers, point in directions where to find answers.

I will also keep looking for, and printing guest stories from you, the readers.

From the bottom of my most grateful heart, thank you to all of you who have read, shared, and appreciated “Paul’s Heart” over the years.

Paul

Help For My Friend Danny


I am asking my readers to share this story.  It is not about money.  It is about getting my friend Danny the medical help necessary to recover from a horrific accident.  I must warn you, a picture will appear towards the end that is quite graphic, meant only to show the extent to how serious this injury is.

My friend Danny and I are from different sides of the country, and in fact, really have only met face to face one time.  But through the years, if I am counting right, going on ten years now, we have remained in touch with each other, offering laughs and support.  We share many things in common.  We both have daughters.  We both had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma many years ago.  And we both have to deal with late effects from the treatments that we were exposed to, in order to save our lives.  Many of those issues are similar as well.

One of the only differences I am aware of, and I am thankful for this, was Danny’s service in the military.  And if I am not mistaken, it was during his service that he faced his battle with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

Danny is one of the most positive people I will ever know.  He loves nature.  He spends as much time as he can with his family.  And he loves his sports.  He splits his loyalties between where he is from, and where he resides.

Of everything that Danny has been through, between cancer, issues from survivorship, his military record, nothing seems to have had as much of a permanent impact on Danny as what happened to him while attending a Seattle Mariners baseball game.

This was Danny’s view on June 5th.  And it would be the last time he would see it with perfect vision from both eyes.  A line drive foul ball struck Danny in his right eye, flush.  The picture is gruesome, and honestly, he is probably lucky that his injuries were not as severe.  A baseball thrown from a pitcher can be thrown between 80-100 mph on average.  A line drive of a ball from a bat travels much faster.  There is little time to react.

The three major sports all have some sort of protective netting to protect fans.

But the netting is only partial.  Behind the goal posts in Pro Football.  Only around the blue lines in a hockey arena on both sides of the ice.  And only behind home plate of a baseball game.  Sure as a fan, we all hope to have a shot of going home with a free souvenir like a hockey puck that gets tipped into the stands, or have a ballboy or ballgirl, toss a foul ball to a young fan.   Hockey players are sitting ducks on the bench as they wait for their turns to go out onto the ice, just as the fans behind them.  Sure the most powerful shots will be headed toward the goals, but that does not mean that a player or fan will not take a shot to the face with a puck.  Baseball is no different, as foul balls constantly head toward the player dugouts at crazy speeds, with the fans unprotected just beyond those dugouts.  But history shows, only until a tragedy hits, does any of the big three professional sports do anything to make good or prevent.  For hockey, it took a girl being killed.  Just a few weeks ago, a national story broke the hearts of everyone, when a little girl was hit in the head by a fly foul ball.  Our hearts wrenched as the player who hit the ball, broke down in tears.  Since then, we have heard nothing.  I say we, meaning the public.

But as a friend of Danny’s, only some of us heard what happened to him.  There was no news coverage.

Honestly, I have no idea how he is even dealing with this.  The status of his vision, or the eye itself is still not determined.  Bleeding has been an issue even a week later because of medications he takes for issues related to his cancer survivorship.  Even doctors right now are baffled how to provide any relief from the pressure, the pain, and the bleeding.

The response from the Seattle Mariners?

Some momentos, get well tokens if you will.

My friend Danny does not need an autographed baseball or picture or flowers.  He needs the Seattle Mariner organization to step up and help Danny find the medical care he needs to heal and recover.  If this was one of the Mariner players, like Santana or Bruce that took a shot like Danny did to the face, you know the Mariners would spare no expense to get the player the medical help needed.

Danny has health care, including from the VA for having served our country in the Army.  But what he does not have, and the Mariners can help with, is getting him the medical resources necessary to help him recover.

It’s great that baseball teams like the Chicago White Sox and Texas Rangers are among the first to finally extend the safety netting down the field.  I am curious that as the Mariners at one time had talked about extending some netting, January 31, 2018 (MLB.com news) why only to extend the netting to 11 feet high to the end of the dugouts.

Danny has many friends who are supporting him emotionally, and trying to rally the Mariners to do more than what they have.  Danny needs medical help.

Besides sharing this post, your are encouraged to write to Major League Baseball commissioner  Rob Manfred, contact the Seattle Mariners via email fancare@mariners.com.

Most importantly Danny, know that so many are behind you.  And we are all hoping for a full recovery.  But it should not take a tragedy like this (or worse) for the Mariners or MLB to do something.

Just moments after I published this post, Danny has been informed he will lose his eye.

You Could Say “The Honeymoon Was Over”


The following is a continuation of my series on my 30th anniversary of remission from Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

Considering the major detour in our plans for getting married, my battle with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, everything went as it needed to go.  The plans for the wedding.  Thirty radiation treatments.  And the all clear from the oncologist.  I was given a follow up appointment for when we got back from our honeymoon.  I got married (my first time), and we had a fun time on our honeymoon.

A common fear that nearly all of us survivors have once completed with our treatments, is the fear of recurrence, or relapse.  In other words, “it came back.”  The hint of a symptom we had during our diagnosis can send us off of a cliff of uncontrollable worry.  We barely get to celebrate our remission before that twisted concern already attacks us emotionally.  For me, and I do not know why, I did not have this feeling.  I felt the follow up was just a pain in the ass, taking up my time.

I had gone through a CT scan before, so this was not going to be a big deal.  And I had no reason to expect any news differently than my last appointment.  Except for some sunburn on my trip, I had no issues with my body as far as any symptoms or changes.

But the phone call I got a week later with the results sent a feeling of paranoia through me like I had never felt before.  “Mr. Edelman, we have the results of your CT scan.  Dr. M would like to discuss those results with you.”  Yep, if it was nothing, I would have been told so right at that moment.  I was not going to be made to come in just to be told “all is good.”

Dr. M:  Paul, the CT scan picked up new disease below your abdomen.

(It needs to be noted that with my original diagnosis, any evidence of Hodgkin’s had been limited above my abdomen)

Dr. M:  I cannot determine if this is actually a new onset, or if your Hodgkin’s has recurred, because of how soon, but we are considering this a recurrence.

I had relapsed.  FUCK CANCER!

I have been counseling cancer patients for nearly three decades and one thing that I always tell my patients is that you either need to have an extra set of ears at the appointments (we did not have phones to record conversations back then).  There is no doubt that I missed some very important discussion after Dr. M had told me about the relapse because my mind had taken me in a totally different direction.  It would have been normal for me to once again revisit the “denial”stage, but I did not.

Self:  It was your choice.  This is your fault.

Of course, these two sentences are totally irrational, but at the time, it was appropriate, and earned.

Under normal circumstances, oncologists will treat with chemotherapy and likely followed up with radiation.  Historically, Hodgkin’s had been treated with radiation alone, and with success.  But vanity played a role, as I was going to get married in less than four months from my diagnosis and staging.  Radiation would show the least amount of effect and I would be done before my wedding, and well, I would be in the middle of my chemotherapy at the time of my wedding, delays were not possible in the treatments.

Now I would begin my second guessing.  While I would never know if I would have relapsed with just chemo, at that time, I would have still be going through chemo.  But clearly, the decision was mine, and it was made.  It was my fault.

Who knows how much conversation I had missed at that point, my mind wandering.  But when Dr. M finally regained my attention, I heard the words that I had feared all along.

Dr. M:  We want you to start on chemotherapy as soon as possible.

So, back on the treadmill I went.  There were things that needed to be done to prepare for this next phase.

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