Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

What Color Is A Purple Roof?


“Oh, come on now. What color is a purple roof?” This was a stupid question that my chemistry teacher in high school would ask us when we were asked a question that he felt the answer was going to be that obvious. I would often look around the class after watching victim after victim of this clear insult to see who would be the student to put the other out of his misery.

I guess looking back, and knowing a little more about chemistry as an adult than I did as a teenager, perhaps the answers might have been that obvious. Or were they?

As I walked into the hospital to see my father, who is battling lung cancer after smoking cigarettes for over fifty years, a gentleman stopped me just before I was about to enter the building. “Yo man, got a cigarette I can have?” I generally do not ridicule someone who makes a decision on a vice, unfortunately gets addicted to it, and will someday most likely face the scenario that my father is, but today it happened. I had already walked by him when he asked me the question. I am really curious what the expression was on my face. In the last month alone I have been at the hospital with my father well over 90% of the time. So let us just say that after all that time, I am having sleep issues, really tired of hospital food, and continue to battle things that I have been exposed to that I should not.

I turned around, much like one of the monstrous pro wrestlers who has had his ass kicked enough in the ring that all of a sudden as if a miracle, he has the intestinal fortitude, turns around and glares at his opponent in sheer defiance before he unloads his wrath resulting in victory. I kind of did that. I turned around, gave the man a glare as if I were a pro-wrestler, and then… said, “no”. And I walked away from him.

It is not my concern or my responsibility to be a public service announcement for people to realize the dangers of smoking. My father knows this first hand, and yet, many close to me, and are aware of my father’s situation, and either start to smoke, continue to smoke, or pick the habit back up. Even being diagnosed with lung cancer, having half of his lung removed, going through chemo and radiation, having fluid build up in his chest, was not enough to convince him to kick the habit. Come on now, what color is a purple roof?

The second part of my post, also deals with the same obvious question about the purple roof. When we go for our treatments, we get blood work done to check our levels to see if we are able to go through with our treatments or if need be, to modify them. Just the blood work. But with the help of “Paul’s Heart” and its many readers, I want to start a movement. And it is just this obvious.

The good thing about treatments, in most cases, it kills cancer cells. The bad thing about treatments, they kill good cells too. But they can also affect body systems. For instance, two of the drugs that I was given affected major body parts for me. One drug affected my heart, the other affected my lungs. Now just as a blood test was done prior to each treatment, and knowing that two drugs had the possibility of affecting my heart and lungs, guess how many times either heart or lungs were checked during eight months of chemo? Or better yet, radiation therapy, especially at the large doses I was given, the extreme likelihood of damage to the heart, how many times during my 30 treatments should my heart have been checked? Come on now, what color is a purple roof?

I do not care if a treatment only states a 5% possibility to have a side effect. If you know this is a chance, then you need to be checking for it, before the damage is too bad. If damage has begun, if a simple echocardiogram could be done after a certain number of treatments, instead of waiting until three months after treatment ends (as many protocols state), the opportunity to switch treatment plans to something less toxic than the body is able to deal with is still a possibility.

There are many families out in the world who not only wish they had this information before it was too late, but also wish that every doctor had the protocol of following up for side effect damage during treatments instead of months after treatment has ended, and the severe damage could be done. Here lies my challenge to you, my readers, and my mission. If you are reading this, and you know of someone who is getting a cancer treatment, learn the potential side effects. Then become their advocate and insist of the doctors following up that particular body part or system at a minimum one time during the treatment process (if only once, half way through would be a good beginning). Lives will be saved by this effort because I know the color of a purple roof is purple.

10 Years Of Forever


10 years ago, I was blessed for the first time, to be a father to a little girl from China, originally called Fu Shu Ting, whose American name is Madison. The little girl from a farming region in China was placed in my arms, making me a dad, something I had dreamed of for a long time.

It has been a wonderful ten years with my oldest daughter. I love supporting her in everything she tries. I have watched her dance, listened to her sing, and last year attempt something I cannot even complete one third of, a triathalon for school.

I have a little girl who loves everything and everyone. She is a faithful friend to a fault. She is respectful and courteous, helpful and loving. She is kind to everyone and everything (ask all the water bugs that she rescues from our swimming pool… ew). She tries hard in school.

I will always be proud of her. And she always tries to make sure that she has done right. She does not like to disappoint.

She is going to grow up to be a wonderful woman who I think will do great things in this world.

I love both my daughters equally and am proud of both. But tomorrow is Madison’s day just as Emmy had her day last month. Both have birthdays coming up soon and I will sing proudly about them again.

Happy 10 years Madison. Here is to hoping the next ten will be just as exciting. I have so many plans for you.

NYC Hat Trick Complete


Do not get all excited… I am not making reference to the Rangers, I am a Flyers fan. But I had three very successful days in New York City, hence why I say “hat trick”, a hockey term for three goals scored by the same player during a hockey game.

I travel at least once a month, and depending on the amount of appointments, sometimes days for my follow up appointments for cancer survivorship at one of the best cancer hospitals in the country, Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan.

I get asked all of the time, why I travel hundreds of miles to seek out my survival care when I am surrounded by many hospitals locally. It is simple. Cancer survival has not caught on in this country yet where survivorship is a specialty in medicine. Years ago, cancer survivors were lucky to survive five years. Today, they live for decades as I earlier in the month. But the research and education of survivors like me is still a new concept and only a relative few have taken extraordinary measures to study the long term effects of cancer therapies on people.

While the majority of my testing can be done locally, the real important stuff I leave to the experts in Manhattan, one of which has studied Hodgkin’s Lymphoma for over thirty years and heads the survivorship program at MSKCC. He travels around the world educating others on the needs of long term survivors. I deal with a dozen different disciplines of medicine for my needs and there is no one I trust more, other than my primary care physician who I count on to be my advocate with the uneducated here if a need arises.

The great thing about dealing with MSKCC is that they know I have to travel a great distance to get there. A dear friend once told me, “don’t let economics determine your health care.” So over the last three days, I had three different appointments and two procedures, all of which are part of my survivorship plan. On Monday, I dealt with my survivorship guilt and dietary needs. On Tuesday, I underwent a colonoscopy and endoscopy. And today, I saw a dermatologist for the first time ever. Considering the radiation level I was exposed to (4 times the lifetime maximum), the doctor was shocked how “clean” my skin looked, not one hint of basal cell carcinoma.

There are some who might say, “don’t you ever get tired of seeing all these doctors when there is nothing wrong” to which I usually reply, “I don’t want there to be anything wrong, and they have done their job well.” I am lucky that I have so many professionals looking after me and my survival. There are literally millions of cancer survivors out there who do not have any follow up protocol or plans because they do not know that many of their issues are caused by their survivorship.

There is a reason I go to MSKCC. Because the chemotherapy and radiation therapy, and diagnostic surgeries changed my body. And unless you are knowledgible with radiation fibrosis syndrome or other side effects like it, makes no difference if you are the world’s best surgeon if you are not prepared for severely scarred lungs or veins and arteries, dealing with compromised immune systems. Yes, I go all the way to NYC, just in case a mistake happens and I have experienced people who know what to do with that “oh shit” moment.

I am waiting the results from yesterday. But today I got an “all clear” and “see you next year” from today’s appointment. I like that. My really big appointments are coming up in April, which also happens to be when the anniversary of my surgery comes up. So it is that month that all my cardiac testing gets done, as well as my pulmonary, and see the big dog in charge of my care for my annual follow-ups.

I needed a break as I have been dealing as caregiver for my father battling lung cancer. And it has been difficult juggling between his needs and mine. And now that I am done with my appointments for the next six weeks, I can give him my full attention to get him through his battle.

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