I am starting off the new year with some big plans for my book, “Paul’s Heart – Life As A Dad And A 35-Year Cancer Survivor.” Of course I would like everyone to buy it and read it. But I had always hoped to make my effort more expansive. My plans are to return to the public speaking circuit again to events such as the Relay For Life and other cancer symposiums. I also want to add social media video, such as YouTube, so that viewers can actually see the proof right before their very eyes. No matter which direction I go, my goal remains the same, to reach as many people as I can with my story, in hopes that it will inspire all who read it.
You don’t need to be a cancer patient or survivor either to follow it or understand it. While I do go into some details of my cancer journey with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, the book does not bog the reader down with all kinds of “sciency” terms. ”Paul’s Heart” helps the reader, no matter which demographic they belong to (patient, survivor, caregiver, family member, etc.), understand the needs, emotionally as well as physically, that a patient goes through. ”Paul’s Heart” is about hope, a lifetime of hope.
You don’t have to take my word for it. Here are some of the things being said about my book:
“honest about survivorship…a must read for people in the medical community…” – Trish, long term cancer survivor
“Uplifting…his positivity is inspirational” – Michele
“It felt like Paul was in the room speaking directly to me…” – Sophia, long term cancer survivor
“full of heart… so relatable” – Heidi, long term cancer survivor
“Paul’s Heart – Life As A Dad And A 35-Year Cancer Survivor” is available now in both paperback and E-book on Amazon at the link above. Please, buy the book, recommend the book, and know that there is hope and life after cancer.
Every year my mother will call me on New Year’s Day and ask, “so are you going to have your pork and sauerkraut for New Year’s Day?” My answer is always the same as it has been as long as I can remember, “no.” Well, at least the sauerkraut part anyway. I have no idea what the smelly crap is let alone barely able to spell it. There is no way that is getting into my belly. As a kid, I simply ate the pork, and lots of mashed potatoes that were also made, and some applesauce. But sauerkraut? Not a chance.
I am sure that I am not alone in remembering what it was like to have family traditions growing up, the days long gone, likely after the passing of grandparents who were the backbones of such traditions. We did not ask “why”, we just did. My family heritage consists mainly of Native American and “Pennsylvania Dutch.” Pennsylvania Dutch, also known as Pennsylvania German settled in the US from Germany back in the 1600’s. As I am aware of some French background as well, I believe that my maternal grandmother’s background is from the French region of Alsace-Lorraine.
The P.D. had their own language and amazing recipes, sadly, which neither has been passed down to future generations. I remember some of the language, which was usually only spoken when my elders did not want me to understand what they were saying. Though, when the voice was raised, the eyebrows crossed, and a finger was pointed at me, it did not matter what language was being used. I knew that it was not good.
But my grandmother made so many good foods, well other than those that were “pickled”. A Pennsylvania Dutch diet is not a healthy one, a lot of fatty fried foods, but the food was always “plain,” not seasoned really. Perhaps that is what always appealed to me. The thing I learned about many Pennsylvania Dutch, is food does not go to waste. And I am not talking just the leftovers (mashed potatoes were routinely made into potato pancakes at another meal). But the body parts of the animals were eaten. I could not watch some of the things my elders would eat, such as tongue, livers, etc.
There was one particular delicacy that would not only turn my stomach, but the smell when prepared would linger in the house for days, was something called “chow chow.” To those that enjoy vegetables, this concoction is PACKED with all kinds of vegetables. It is when vinegar that gets added, and this “relish” is prepared, produces a nausea in me worse than a newborn’s diaper filled with diarrhea. Seriously, many of us had to leave the house when my grandmother made this stuff because the smell was so bad. Yet, many enjoy this side dish. I am just not one of those.
Sauerkraut is also one of things I avoid. But all through my childhood, pork and sauerkraut was the meal of the day for New Year’s Day. So, why was/is this meal so important? I never questioned it. But my mother last year decided to ask me if I knew why, which of course I didn’t.
“You don’t eat bird on New Year’s Day because chickens “scratch” backwards. Pigs “root” forward. It is a new year. We go forward, not backward. Also, as the chickens fly away, all good luck flies away with the feathers.” So, to be clear, sauerkraut is shredded cabbage, of course pickled. Another thing believed, was that you wished as much fortune as the strands of cabbage in the sauerkraut.
As I said, I do not eat sauerkraut. I cannot stand the smell of it. But one odd thing for those who do sauerkraut, how do you eat that stuff after a night of consuming mass amounts of alcohol the night before to celebrate the new year, hung over the next day? I witnessed someone doing that. It was both entertaining and gross, if you know what I mean.
In any case, I want to wish everyone reading “Paul’s Heart,” a very happy, healthy, and prosperous new year. I have some hopeful plans for my book, including speaking engagements, book signings, and some sort of video media perhaps like a Youtube channel, whichever enables me to reach more people in support of cancer survivorship, those struggling with parental alienation, patient advocacy, and adoption issues.
Well, in just three more days, my gym is going to get more crowded again, an annual ritual. Ever since Covid-19, I have done all I can to be in the gym alone so as not make people feel they need to do anything to protect me in the gym, like wiping down equipment or staying out when they are sick. But with the new year’s rush, I will now likely get to the gym even before the sun comes up, or just before I go to bed.
I don’t do resolutions, rather, I should say I do not do them anymore. This annual “tradition” of making a promise to oneself to “do” or “give up,” more than often ends up in futility and failure. I already don’t drink or smoke, I don’t eat candy, I may let my blood pressure rise in traffic (unavoidable with Florida drivers), but really, there are not any behaviors I want to change. That is the key word, “want” to change.
Instead, I like to look back at the year that has passed. And better than any resolution that I could have made and broken, upon reflection, I like to recognize if I had a good year, or perhaps not as good as it could have been, and what could have been different.
Over these last four decades, it is not often that I have gone through a year without at least one challenge. But 2023 will be one of those years (I am knocking on wood right now as there is still three days left). 2023 has been a pretty good year for me.
2023 marked the end of my term dealing with the family court system. Like for many, and I know my trolls who actively participated in my divorce reading this, will enjoy this sentence, these last ten years of have been both a struggle and a nightmare. My sole focus of survival had been on my daughters, my health and everything else be damned. And I did it. For ten years, I navigated the family courts with all I had, and against everything that had been thrown at me. And in the end, for those that wanted nothing more than my daughters to turn against me, they lost
As my second daughter turned 18, the relationships with my daughters took a new turn. We now deal with only each other. Every decision, every visit, every conversation, is between the two of us. And while others may continue to want to try to interfere or demean the relationship, it is over.
I want to be careful with this next paragraph, not to manifest anything, but having passed my 2nd anniversary since my heart valve repair, it has now been my 2nd year of just follow ups. Though I do have a stat that is being watched, overall, everything has been stable. No trips to a… well, you know.
Another good year of health, means that I have also reached more milestones in my survivorship. I reached my lowest weight in over thirty years, cracking 200 pounds having lost thirty-eight pounds this year. I have now seen both my daughters graduate high school, something fifteen years ago had almost been taken away from me, and a fight every year since. Now, both are in college and doing well. I have my eyes set on my next milestone, of course with them, seeing them graduate college. As each year passes for me, I know the odds become more difficult with my health history, but I am so close. This is within my grasp.
And finally to top off 2023, I published my first book, “Paul’s Heart – Life As A Dad And A 35-Year Cancer Survivor.” It took me four years, and really with nothing to do during Covid-19, it should have been done much sooner. It is still surreal to me to see my life actually presented in a book. And now, I have five more actually started, sequel/prequel if you will as well as plans for speaking engagements to support the book.
I have nothing on my calendar for 2024, other than following the successes of my daughters with each passing semester, and the directions their lives will take them.
I want to thank you all for following “Paul’s Heart”, now reading my book. I want to wish you all a Happy and Prosperous and Healthy new year. See you in 2024!
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