Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Side Effects”

That Moment When…


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The following was something that I wrote on another page.  But the response I got from it, told me that it was worth sharing.  Because no matter the challenge you are facing, this could apply to you.

 

“That moment when the pendulum begins to swing the other way.

That moment when you are proven correct and true.

That moment when you realize your greatest fear could have actually happened.

That moment that fear was silenced.

That moment you truly appreciate everyone who at the very least, encouraged you to never give up.

That moment that you recognize prayers and positive thoughts make a difference.

That moment of awareness, you are still who you have always been.

That moment you remember, you have what it takes to challenge, endure, and survive.”

“Hello Dolly… Well, Hello, Dolly”


“Hello Dolly,……well, hello, Dolly
It’s so nice to have you back where you belong
You’re lookin’ swell, Dolly…….I can tell, Dolly
You’re still glowin’…you’re still crowin’…you’re still goin’ strong”

– Louis Armstrong, from the musical, “Hello Dolly”

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There is no doubt this is how Dolly was being greeted this morning.  This is how I knew Dolly… well, for most of the time anyway.  Like me, Dolly was a long term cancer survivor of Lymphoma.  Like me, she suffered late side effects, and eventually another battle with cancer, as if the first time around was not enough for one person to go through.

I never met Dolly, whose actual picture would eventually appear on her Facebook page, because of the droves of other survivors who would have to physically meet, the wonderful spirit, who, when faced with one challenge after another, would always manage to muster a smile, offer encouragement, all the while, maintaining order in her life.  And there were plenty who would get to meet this gem of a spirit.  Unfortunately, I would never get the chance to actually meet Dolly, but we exchanged emails and texts, to discuss certain admin issues with the support pages that she created on Facebook for those of us who struggle emotionally and physically with the late effects from the treatments that cured us of our cancer.

Dolly had a “travelling companion” besides her husband Dave, a doll named “Nelly”.  Kind of like “Flat Stanley” in schools, Nelly was eventually adopted by another survivor, after it became clear, Dolly would no longer be able to travel, and so, pictures of Nelly’s adventures would appear, giving many of us, Dolly included, even a slight smile, because each picture would remind us of Dolly.

I am sure that I am not the only one, but Dolly also took time to help others with other issues or struggles in their lives besides survival.  That is just who she was.  Even up until days ago, she did all she could to keep in touch with us.

I have met hundreds, if not over a thousand cancer survivors over my survivorship.  And I can tell you, the rush that comes over us, when we meet someone who “gets it”.  But when we choose to meet someone in our situations, it also sets us up for the possibility of heartbreak.  Because as a survivor of cancer, with late effects to deal with, things can change just like that.  But those who got the opportunity to meet Dolly in person, neither was disappointed.  I know many of the faces she got to meet, and that meeting always meant something so special to each and every one of you, and especially Dolly.

I have known, and still know many people I draw inspiration from in my survival, but Dolly has been the second person, who I consider very influencial in my survivorship, that I have never personally met.  The other, was a woman names Linda, who urged me to not only advocated for cancer patients, but to become aware of the world of late effects for cancer patients who would go on to live long lives, and need help.  It is just at one point, I never thought I would be one of them.

I am sad for the passing of my friend.  I am certain it is even harder for those who knew her best.  The testimonies being given on her Facebook page, and replies to the post by her husband speak volumes.  For those reading this that are on those Facebook pages, that is what this group is for, to help us deal with the grief and sorrow, and help each other to survive.

The photo below is the cover from Dolly’s Facebook page.  This was definitely Dolly.

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Life Saving Bling


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I suffered a wrist injury at work in 2003.  From that point on, I never wore anything on my wrists.  In fact, I cannot tell you the last time I ever saw a watch.  But as you can tell from the picture, I do wear something on my wrist today.  In fact, I have done so since 2008, when I had my life saving emergency open heart surgery.  And you can tell that it looks quite worn as it is over eight years old now.  And like the wear on the med alert bracelet, the irony is that it does not reflect the wear and tear on my body that late effects from treatments of radiation and chemotherapy have done.  I will get back to that bracelet in just a moment.

Once it was discovered that I was suffering late developing side effects from extremely harsh and toxic treatments for cancer decades ago, I had the daunting task of finding someone who could not only diagnose the issues, treat the issues, but also help me manage those issues, for the rest of my life.

I found such a doctor at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan.  Dr. O had not only studied Hodgkin’s Lymphoma for more than three decades, he had also been studying the late effects from the toxicity of chemotherapy and the never-ending destruction caused by high levels of radiation (in my case, 4 times the lifetime maximum of exposure).  Though it is not a joke, the inside comments made by patients like me, “radiation… the gift that keeps on giving.”  This was also what caused the need for my heart surgery.

Anyway, you can find out about the heart surgery by going to the page, “CABG – Not Just A Green Leafy Vegetable.”

The first thing that I had to do as a patient, was gather all of my health records from my oncology team.  This proved to be a daunting task as I was more than 18 years out from treatment.  My chemo records were incinerated.  Probably only due to regulations by the NRC, I was able to recover my radiation records which is the only reason I know my exposure levels.  They also had copies of my surgical records.

Through medical history of treatment back in the late eighties, my general health records as well as knowing the drugs used in my chemo cocktail, all Dr. O could do, was estimate what dosages of chemo I was given.  The paperwork that I now had in my possession was enough to fill an entire school backpack.  And that backpack travelled with me all the way to New York City.  In fact, that backpack travels everywhere with me, because any kind of emergency medical care I may need, my backpack provides crucial information that will be critical to me surviving any kind of trauma or illness.  Because of having Lymphoma, and being asplenic (having no spleen) courtesy of my diagnostic procedures, I cannot be treated as a normal healthy human being.  I have a higher risk of infection, bleeding out, and more dangers.

As you can tell, it is not really practical carrying this backpack around with me everywhere.  Technology in doctor offices across the country now make it possible for doctors anywhere to see your records, no matter where you are.  But just because they are available does not mean that the doctors will use it.  As a long term cancer survivor, I have learned that I have to advocate for myself.  That means not settling for a doctor blowing me off, because the “symptoms just don’t make sense for someone my age.”

In the event of an emergency, before I even get to an emergency room, I have had to deal with paramedics.  Any paramedic caring for me, needs to know immediately what kind of patient they are dealing with.  Which is why, not just me, but patients with special needs wear these med alert bracelets.

In my case however, my bracelet does not list just one disease.  With more than a dozen different health issues that I deal with, there simply is no room on the bracelet.  So I had to adapt.  I had to use what little space I had available to give as much information.  On the front side of the bracelet, lists my name, that I am a Hodgkin’s Survivor from 1988 as well as a 2x CABG Survivor from 2008.  Immediately under that it says, “see reverse side”.

The first line instructs whoever is reading the bracelet, to immediately pull my wallet out, and locate two miniaturized cards that have all my medical diagnosis on them, and how to treat me prophylactically to prevent infection.  The next line instructs them to call my primary care doctor and her phone number, and my specialist at MSKCC and his phone number.  Any medical personnel following these instructions, increase my chances of survival.

Though I have  yet been able to do so, there are many other survivors who have been able to “save” their medical records on a “zip drive” or CD to give the information to any doctor treating them.  But the other night, while visiting with a friend, I noticed he had a different kind of med alert bracelet on his wrist.

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It took both the alert, and the information, and put them into one item.  Most paramedics now use laptops and by simply plugging in the bracelet (important if a patient is unconscious and cannot alert the paramedic that they have important medical information on a USB drive).  And these are not expensive either.

For my long term cancer survivor friends, for cancer patients going through treatment right now, in fact, anyone dealing with a serious illness or condition, my blog has always been about information, and hope.  I hope you take this introduction of new technology, and take care of yourself.  Having your health history literally at your fingertips, can make all the difference in saving your life.

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