Happy Father’s Day to all who are celebrating today, and my heart goes out to all of those who recognize this day, to remember their Fathers, no longer with them, and for those, who through no fault of their own are kept apart. At one point, I checked off all three of those boxes, so I understand all the emotions involved.
As a Dad of two amazing daughters, this is my day, bigger for me than Christmas, birthday, even my once favorite Halloween. But the biggest part of my life, my legacy if you will, is having made the decision, to be responsible for two children, to teach them values, morals, right from wrong, all the while making sure they learned in school, and became responsible adults. Of course, as you know reading “Paul’s Heart”, this has not been easy with the variety of health issues I have faced as a cancer survivor. But this I know, I do not take any day for granted, and I celebrate every new day that I get with my daughters.
But as I said, I checked off more than one box when it comes to today. I lost my Dad to lung cancer eleven years ago, he was just ten years older than I am now. He was not alive to see what I went through as a Dad dealing with the family courts in regard to the relationships with my daughters. Of all the things unresolved with my father (my parents divorced when I was three years old), my Dad was only aware of the beginning of my own divorce and custody fight, as that was when he was just diagnosed. I could not throw this issue on him, while I dealt with both simultaneously. I am hoping, that my Dad is looking down on me and his granddaughters, and seeing how well things turned out with the my daughters and I.
The link above is for a performance for a special piece that I wrote in tribute to my Dad.
However you are recognizing today, I hope it is a good day for you.
June 14th, a day that I remember every year, for two reasons. The first reason, on this date, back in 1777, the United States of America had its first design of the flag approved by the Continental Congress. Similar to todays design, it was comprised of red and white stripes, the same number as today, and a field of blue, with thirteen stars, representing the thirteen colonies that made up the United States at the time.
(photo of painting by Percy Morgan – “The Birth Of Old Glory”)
Over the centuries there have been many re-designs of “old glory,” adding additional stars as more states were added to the United States, until we have the flag that is displayed today, thirteen stripes and fifty stars representing the fifty states. I know this, because one of the first reports I ever wrote, as an elementary student, was on “Flag Day.” I got an “A” and remember being so proud of my writing effort.
That year, and every year after that, our house displayed “old glory” on Flag Day, in addition to all of the other holidays that recognized federal holidays. It is likely this class assignment is the reason that I feel so strongly about “old glory.”
A symbol representing all that our country stands for, there are actual guidelines for the display and respect of the American flag. As listed on the American Legion website, the United States Flag Code, Chapter one lists display rules, times and occasions, position, respect, and conduct. Typically the flag is flown only from sunrise to sunset, unless it is illuminated by supplemental lighting. It gets raised quickly, and lowered “ceremoniously.” The flag does not get flow in bad weather unless it is of waterproof material. There are rules as far as any other objects or flags accompanying the red, white, and blue.
This next set of rules, deals with respect for the flag. It never gets flown upside down except as a signal of distress. Nothing touches the underneath the flag like the ground, water, etc.. The flag must fly “aloft and free” not flat or horizontally (going to be a problem for pro football games when they do the national anthem). Are you ready for this one? NEVER… I say NEVER should the flag be worn as apparel (tough news for all those who wear the flag soaking up their swamp asses as if a maxipad – this is a real peeve of mine). The flag should also, never be altered, this means like adding a color to a stripe, or changing the colors of the flag to make it “team colors” for a pro ball team.
And finally, when a flag must be properly disposed of, there are rules. When the flag is tattered or torn, it is time. In the case of this photo, I took the picture, the flag’s edges were not only shredded, but the flag has been sucking exhaust from the truck. This is wrong, so wrong. Yes, I feel strongly about the flag, and it probably began when I learned it way back in school.
June 14th took on a different meaning, and again,a day that I cannot forget ever, now not just because of Flag Day, but one of the hardest days of my life. My role model, my inspiration, my grandmother passed away due to complications from ovarian cancer (she was previously a survivor of breast cancer).
Each year on this day, twenty-seven years now, I remember her. My inspiration in cancer survivorship, I sometimes struggle that by some miracle I am still here, not just the twenty-seven years since she passed, but thirty-five years of remission. For whatever reason, whatever the stars have planned, I will likely see my sixtieth birthday later this year, something I definitely did not think possible back at the age of twenty-two when I was diagnosed.
a) the time period begins it is acceptable to wear white clothing
b) is the unofficial start to Summer (which actually begins next month according to the calendar)
c) is the day that we as a country, remember and honor all men and women in the military who died while serving in the military defending the United States and all of us who are still able to enjoy all of the things guaranteed in the Constitution.
d) all of the above
While “d – all of the above” is socially correct and convenient to cover all the bases, no. And wearing white was a “fashion rule” established by the upper class long ago to mark the time for Summer vacations.
(photo courtesy of Meanwhile In Philly – Facebook)
And if you are from the tri-state are of Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware, Memorial Day weekend marks the beginning of the busiest time of the year “down at the shore”, referring to any one of the many shore points along the Jersey coastline. The only thought of sacrifice is that of the green and the plastic from the wallets, hanging at the beach and cruising the boardwalks. For those that do not make this trek, there are always plenty of picnics to attend back home.
(photo courtesy of Meanwhile In Philly – Facebook)
While all of those things do occur, I have always recognized Memorial Day for what it truly is, the day we remember and honor, those who gave all, their lives, serving our country. So you can see the conflict with answers a, b, and d which are more pleasant to celebrate. And let me get another peeve out of the way, why do we say “Happy Memorial Day?” This is one of several oxymoronic expressions we use for holidays, why is today so happy? It is a somber day, at least it is supposed to be one.
I made it a point with my daughters as they grew, they would learn our nation’s history and important dates. The same was done for me as a child growing up in a small town in Pennsylvania, a Memorial Day service, complete with a 21-gun salute was held at a stone memorial near the center of town. As the locals gathered, artificial poppies, produced by the VFW, Veterans Of Foreign Wars (at least at that time back in the 1970’s), were handed out to all who attended. The significance of the poppies was the abundance of growth among the battlefields in Europe following World War I. We would wear these replicas to honor those who had served and died.
Just as important a lesson in recognizing why we honor on Memorial Day, is to make sure that we do it correctly. We have several days that recognize the armed services besides Memorial Day:
Armed Forces Day (3rd Saturday in May) = honors all branches of the military and all who serve
Veterans Day (November 11th) = honors all veterans of US forces
Of course each branch of the the military has its own day to celebrate. Even K-9 military have their own Veterans Day on March 13th. I will bet you did not know that. And of course there are dates that we recognize particular events and conflicts (wars), such as Pearl Harbor Day (August 7th) and most recognizable but not often discussed, Flag Day (June 14th). And there are dates that we pay tribute to families and spouses such as Gold Star Spouses Day (April 5th), National Vietnam Veterans Day (March 29th), and of course, National POW/MIA Recognition Day (September 20th). So many dates to recognize, and all important to remember what each is for and why.
Like many, I have never known a time really when our country was not in conflict somewhere. I was born around the time of the Vietnam War, and have seen all others since. I do not know anyone in my family who died while serving (that I know of). I did have several family members who served in the various branches of the military and wars such as Korea, Vietnam, and of course in the middle East.
It was instilled in me early on in my childhood, to not only recognize and respect our military, but to remember and honor this day, those who gave everything, serving our country, so that we could still enjoy the picnics and the beach whenever we want. So sure, have fun today, but also, please never forget.
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