Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Recreation”

12 May 2021

A Shortage I Just Don’t Understand


Not since the great Liverwurst shortage at the beginning of the Covid19 pandemic, has my life been so affected. But it seems, there is a shortage of my favorite breakfast treat, the cinnamon fry from Publix. I do not eat them often, but oh are they ever the best when they are fresh and warm. Krispy Kreme eat your heart out.

Alas, the last several times that I have gone in search of these mouth-watering treats, now going on several weeks, the slot inside the bakery cabinet that they are normally located, is a replacement donut. When I ask, and plead with the employee how much I enjoy these baked goods, the person behind the counter acknowledges the fact that they are that good, but has no solid answer as to when to expect a new supply. Come on man, it is just dough and a couple other ingredients. This makes no sense. There is no shortage of dough.

Do you know what else makes no sense?

A self-created gas shortage. Now, in full disclosure, these are not my photos, but rather shared from other friends social pages, so I do not know if these are actually current pictures or where they are located. But besides the stupidity of the concept of rushing out to panic buy gasoline, when there is no shortage, is actually creating one. And I will at least give some credit to the ones using actual legal containers.

Ok, so this last one did happen today, and locally. Yep, can’t wait until this dope has to hit her brakes hard enough and the fuel starts slopping all over the car. Then again, she might be planning on re-enacting a Pinto episode (you have to be old enough to remember that fiasco).

A Russian hacker took advantage of our insufficient infrastructure and got into the system of one of our pipelines. It should never have happened, but the actions of the hacker shut down the flow of oil all along the east coast of the United States. That is the simple explanation. The hacking should be the only serious problem because, well, we have other things that are clearly vulnerable as well, such as our water supply, our electrical grids, and medical system just to name three. Our country is so behind in cyber security, these should be real issues. Instead, we, collectively, are creating another one, a self manufactured gas shortage.

First, there had been no shortage of gasoline to stations until people started going out, panic buying gas. The truth is, there was plenty of gas at the pumps and distributors until the panic buying started. Then the pipeline being shut down became a problem. In Florida, it was just sheer stupidity, because most of Florida does not rely on that pipeline, as it gets its fuel from Gulf resources.

So, there you have it. To quote Forest Gump, “stupid is as stupid does.” Once again, like the great toilet paper shortage of 2020, we have done it to ourselves again. Greed, hoarding, and just plain selfish behavior have done it again.

Now, about real shortage, how soon before those cinnamon fries come back in? What do we need to do to restore the flow of these yummy donuts?

Posted in Education, Family and Friends, Food, Inspired By..., Recreation | Leave a comment
13 Apr 2021

I’m Actually Starting To Like This


There is not a parent in the world, who does not wish that their children never got old. The innocence of laughter, finding security in knowing the parent is going to be there for them, Little Einsteins.

I am one of those parents who has left three-inch divot skid marks, being dragged into the later years of my daughters childhood, one now actually of adult age. I most certainly miss the days of teaching to ride bikes, riding kiddie rides at amusement parks, watching performances, and of course, helping with homework that I could understand (at least in the first half of their elementary school).

All this is good. I know my responsibility as a parent is to teach them, to be a role model for them, to prepare them for that day that they eventually are out on their own. But I was having so much fun. Now, it is getting serious. They have actually mentioned boys. There are conversations about after high school. The things that I say and do now, are the things that they will remember, not necessarily follow my advice, but I will be in their ears at least.

I have emphasized to my older daughter, the need to register to vote. Of all things that she does as an adult, this is the one thing that will have an impact on her, each year of her life. She was upset that she missed the last presidential race, but looks forward to the next one. But having a father who spend a short period in local politics, this was an opportunity to teach her the importance of local political elections.

While it is hard to conceive that one vote could make a difference in a national election, that one vote can make a difference for sure in a local election. And where my daughters live, there is a very important election this year. And I have told my daughter, her vote will definitely make a difference.

This was also an opportunity for me to teach her, that elections are not just about showing up and casting a vote. As she prepares to register to vote, she already has an idea of where she stands politically, and proudly, the acorn does not fall far from the tree. Anyone who has followed politics over recent years, has likely heard the phrase “disenfranchised voters.” My daughter understands that.

I do not know if she will register with a party or as a non-party, and that is her choice. I will always respect that. But the one thing that I have heard from her that is encouraging, is that she will not tow a party line if there is an issue that she does not support. Good for her, in more ways than one. This means, she is actually going to look at the candidates that she will vote for. She will want to make sure the candidate best meets her values and interests.

Her sister is not far behind, but is still trying to figure out her direction. There is concern on her part, that she does not have a “focused” interest, like many of her friends. Both of my daughters have had their share of participation in recreational activities, as I tried to find their interest and keep it. And it is a parent’s choice, which direction is taken, whether to push forward, in spite of apathy or disinterest, or to allow the child to look into something else. And that is the path that I had taken.

I explained to my daughter, that she should not be discouraged because she has not “found” her interest yet. I explained to her, that it is all about finding the right one. She has no problem with application, she gives 100% whatever she does. But it is about keeping her interest. And then I threw this curve ball at her. That I was the same way, tried all kinds of things, not having one main hobby or interest. It was not until I got into adulthood, that I discovered two things that I truly am passionate about, and one of those came about by fate. Music is 100% in my blood. I have always enjoyed writing and public speaking. And it is since my diagnosis with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma that I soon realized this was what was meant to be.

In the meantime, I will keep encouraging her to keep trying anything that has her curiosity. It would not surprise me one bit, ten years from now, she has returned to something she enjoyed in her childhood, and will make it what she wants to enjoy out of life.

I do not have many memories of my childhood to compare them with the adult conversations that I have had with my parents. But you know what? I am really starting to enjoy the more grown up chats with my daughters too. Now if I could just get the one to stop making me squirm with some of the topics (an intentional act on her part).

Posted in Adoption, Education, Family and Friends, Recreation | Leave a comment
04 Apr 2021
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Happy Easter


I would describe myself as a “traditional” kind of person. I may not have traditions, but I do want them. Traditions are important. They remind us of times that we could count on, safe, happy. All too often, we also recognize that traditions come to an end.

Most of my childhood, we had two kinds of get togethers, Sunday dinners and holiday meals. My grandmother was the common attraction as we all gathered for her. Sadly, we knew there would come a day that she would no longer be with us, and it was likely we would no longer get together. When she passed, those traditions were gone. I knew that it would happen.

In my adulthood, pre-parenthood, it was fairly easy, my 1st wife and I would just hop from one family to another on holidays. There were not really any thoughts or feelings behind these gatherings, because at this point in my life, I had become really jaded against holidays because of the various crisis that I had faced, commonly around the holidays.

But that changed with my second marriage, and the arrival of my daughters.

I had to start caring about the holidays again. As I child, I knew that it was important. It was also another chance for me to open my heart to holiday traditions, these of my own. Christmas, Easter, all of the different holidays would be fun again. At Easter, just as when I was a child, Easter baskets were hidden in the house, as well as some other fun plastic eggs with treats inside. I usually like to commit 100% to the act, but admittedly looking back, I failed in one aspect of proving the Easter Bunny had arrived. Sure, he at the carrot left for him, in retrospect, I should have scattered Cocoa Puff cereal on the floor just for effect. But, that is my sense of humor.

Our family had three separate celebrations each holiday, one for their mother, and one with my mother and one with my father. But Easter was the only holiday that my father asked to host. For years, he would cook a ham, and all the veggies. We scattered eggs in his backyard for my daughters to find.

Just as with the other holidays, the only bad thing, was that we spent the entire holiday, out on the road. With my parents living an hour away, that meant at least two hours on the road, and the countless hours visiting homes. My daughters barely had any time to enjoy their Easter goodies once we got home at the end of the night.

This was the last year that I celebrated Easter. It was 2014. My father was dying of lung cancer, and would succumb a month later. Without him hosting the annual Easter meal, just as with my grandmother, we no longer got together except for one more time, at my father’s funeral. Since then, either by my choice in some cases, and in some cases others, that has been the last time most of us have even spoken.

As if things were not spread thin enough as it was, with my parents being divorced, now my second wife and I in the process of divorce. Holidays were going to get much more complicated. In an attempt to keep things as civil as possible during proceedings, and coming to an understanding with custody, I made the unusual and unexpected decision to give their mother every holiday. It was an easy decision to make, given my feelings with holidays, and knowing they meant more to their mother, it would be one less source of friction as we brought our marriage to an end. I would work out a time period around those holidays, but the holidays themselves, with the exception of Father’s Day, would belong to her.

Time has flown by. One of my daughters is now of adult age, and the other is not far behind. This is going to give a whole new meaning to future holidays, because it will no longer be me doing the scheduling to see them, but when they can, and want to see me. I am hoping that they both continue their education, and then likely after that, they will begin to build their lives, and hopefully their own families. And that will mean their own traditions.

Will they remember the fun things I did to make their holidays memorable? I hope so. But they will also want to create their own. But if there is one thing I wish I could do over again, and I hope they learn from my mistake, make the holidays about themselves, and their children. Let their children enjoy these special fun days. They do not last forever. Yes, I know, that means I am likely going to be making the trips, but I am okay with that if that is how they build their own traditions.

Posted in Adoption, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation

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