A couple of weeks ago, I shared this photo of a badly worn flag I passed on one of my walks around the time of Memorial Day, the time we memorialize our fallen military members. I have been away on a couple of trips over the last week and a half, and come back to find this…
There is a new “old Glory” now flying proudly, and now you can see the flag underneath it, representing the US Army. Look closely at the picture as you can even see the folds that remain from its packaging. But she is not being correctly and proudly shown.
Well, sort of. There is still the issue of her being flown in the dark without any lighting shining on her, or, that she is not water proof and therefore should not be hung in the rain. But hey, the main thing is, she is whole, she is neat, and flies now without being tattered.
And no, I cannot take credit for the person replacing the flag, nor do I know how the old flag was disposed of. But the situation was timed perfectly with the holidays of Memorial Day and Flag Day, to remind us just how important it is to treat the American Flag with the respect she deserves, understand her history, and know and accept what should and should not be done with her.
I consider Father’s Day to be the most important day to me, bigger than all of the others. To me, there is no more important responsibility or title that I can have in my life, than being a “Dad.” And I have been blessed twice. It is not something that I take for granted. A father/child relationship is best described as an hourglass, with sand running through much too quickly, until the sand has all run out. The path to fatherhood begins differently for everyone but there is not greater feeling than when a child is placed in your arms for the first time.
And while the first half of my daughters lives were pretty much “Norman Rockwell paintings” doing normal things that families do from school activities to extracurricular, my divorce put a stronger emphasis on Father’s Day for me, making sure that this one day, above all other days including Christmas and birthdays, was my day to celebrate with my daughters.
There has been no greater honor than to be one of my daughters two main role models. As adults now, there are no more crayons, reading books, or watching Barbie videos. Now the real pressure of fatherhood is on, to make sure they know about insurances, major expenses, career decisions, time management, and of course relationships. I always thought that I would be the one to have the trouble with this progression, and to a degree I do, but it was my younger daughter who had a “Cat’s In The Cradle” moment, when she expressed her fears that, now in college, and in her future, she would not see me as often, which is likely. But just as I got by during my divorce, not being with them every day, technology via Facetime and Skype, I could see them and talk to them any time I wanted or needed to.
Those who know me, know that my daughters are my world. With all of the health issues that I deal with in my survivorship, my daughters are my driving force, to keep fighting. They both have friends who have lost their fathers for one reason or another, and I do not want them to ever have to feel that pain. And while I know that I am mortal and have no control over fate, my love and strength for my daughters is what gets me through every day.
But as much as I celebrate today, I and many others also recognize loss, fathers not able to see their children, or worse, children not able or even willing to see their fathers. As an adult child of divorce, I have experienced this pain. And it is my hope that some day, just as in my case, amends can be made and bring the fathers and their children back together.
I miss my father. It has been ten years now that he has been gone. He got to watch his granddaughters grow in their early years, but how do I wish he could see who they have become. I wish I could tell him, that I had his strength when it came to always fight for my rights as the father of my daughters. I never gave up.
To those who are able to celebrate this day, Happy Father’s Day. And for those who have just memories, may those memories provide you comfort on this day.
I have a busy weekend ahead of me. My daughters are coming to visit me for our annual Father’s Day week. Tomorrow marks twenty-six years since I lost one of the most influencial people in my life, my grandmother, a two-time cancer survivor. I do not forget this day, because this date shares the same date as Flag Day, which falls tomorrow.
I took this photo on one of my walks, and was completely saddened by it. I saw it a couple of weeks ago, during of all weekends, Memorial Day weekend. Clearly, this flag should have been replaced. Ironically, it was being flown by someone who should have known better, a military veteran (the branch flag is flying behind it). But clearly, this flag should have been retired long ago as the condition clearly shows how tattered and worn it had become.
I have a lot of experience when it comes to our nation’s symbol. As a kid, I participated in Boy Scouts, where I learned the proper care for the flag, including how to fold and display the flag. On of my first papers I ever wrote, over forty-five years ago, was on Flag Day itself. Not to brag, but I got an “A” on it.
So with so much attention on the flag over recent years, and how I definitely feel it is being misused, misunderstood, and disrespected, I figured I would revisit my report, and perhaps make the report more current to remind everyone just how important our flag really is. Of course, I have a bit more writing experience under my belt since then.
The Flag
(photo courtesy of Wikipedia)
Most are not aware as there was a flag before the flag with the circle of thirteen stars. It was the “grand union” flag, the unofficial flag flown during the American revolution. Then in 1777 came the flag that most of us are familiar with, created by Betsy Ross, thirteen stripes alternating red and white, and thirteen stars arranged in a circle on a field of blue “representing a new constellation” (Britanica).
As states would join the union requiring more stars to be added to each version of the national flag, the formation of the stars would change to rows of stars until the 50th state had been added to present “old glory” as it is flown today.
(picture courtesy of Google pics)
So there is the history of the flag.
Care And Display Of The American Flag
Per U.S. Code, the flag should always fly “aloft and free.” The flag should never touch anything below it such as the ground, water, floor, or any kind of objects just sitting there. The flag must not be “dipped” to any person or thing (as in a nod to someone or something). It does not get flown upside down, unless a case of an emergency or signal of distress. Recent incidents of the flag being flown upside down do not meet that standard and therefore is disrespecting the flag.
If you are a flag purist like I am, retail is not going to like this part. The flag should never be used as apparel or as bedding, you know, like those swim trunks soaking up crotch sweat and other merchandise. The flag should not be used for advertisement purposes, in particular, being placed on anything that will be thrown out in the garbage afterwards. The flag should NEVER have any words written on it, nor should any artistic liberty be taken with the flag, you know, like combining the flag with another flag into one, changing the colors to represent a particular cause like sports teams using the colors replacing the red, white, and blue. It is completely unacceptable to merge the American flag with a flag as vile as the confederate flag, into one flag. No matter the cause, “thin blue line”, Black Lives Matter, whatever, simple put, get your own flag and leave the red, white, and blue alone. The flag should never be used as a costume or used to carry anything.
It is important to keep the flag dry, clean, and protected from danger such as harsh weather or other perils.
Now, what to do about that poor and tattered flag that I passed. I am sure the veteran flying that flag should know what to do. But here is how to properly dispose of a flag, no longer fit to be flying.
Proper Disposal Of The Tattered And Worn American Flag
The U.S. Flag Code says, “The Flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.” When an American Flag is worn beyond repair, it should be retired in a respectful manner.
It is common and dignified to burn the flag no longer considered to be flown in some sort of ceremony (per local burn ordinances of course). The Pledge of Allegiance and moments of silence are often spoken. The flag must be completely burned to ashes, then buried.
Veteran organization like the VFW (Veterans Of Foreign Wars) and American Legion will often take unflyable flags to properly dispose of them.
So there you have it, the proper way to treat, care for, and display the American Flag. If yours is worn, you still have time to get a replacement to fly, as you should. And if you truly want to show respect for the flag, treat her right. Fly her freely and aloft, nothing else.
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