Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Bullying”

The “Benefits” Of A Union


If you want to start a divisive conversation with anyone, state you opinion on labor unions.  The chasm between supporters and opposition is huge.  There is hardly any acknowledgement of real estate between either side.  You are either for them, or against them.  Both sides often present skewed information to prove their value and refute effectiveness of the other side’s arguments.

I am not going to get into the middle of that discussion either.  I do have an opinion on labor unions, but that is not the purpose of this story or the blog in general.  Instead, I want to talk about one of the good things to come out of union membership.

From the day I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease, I became a “prisoner” to my current empolyer.  As with many health challenges, once you become a liability with your health, insurance companies do not want you or your premiums that you pay.  While they do pay out claims, they are in the business to make money, to gamble against you and your health.

The first job that I ever had that gave me health benefits was Wagner Appliance Parts, a “family” type business in the Allentown area.  With the help of a good reference, I was hired by Jeff Wagner.  Two years later was when I was diagnosed with my Hodgkin’s.  It was also at that time, that my employer realized what he was not getting for his investment.  Wagner’s was not a union business, so benefits were at the generosity of the Wagner’s.  And for years they felt as if their employees had good health coverage because why would their agent sell them anything less.  But with my diagnosis came a sad realization for Jeff, that our plan had many exemptions and limitations that could have profound impacts on diagnosis and treatments.  The night I told Jeff of my diagnosis, and the doctor’s plans due to my health benefits, is when he called his insurance representative and upgraded our coverage.

For three years following, I was an employer there.  But an opportunity came up to operate my own business/franchise, something that I had been denied in spite of my qualifications, or the fact that management constantly had me training the future managers.  There was going to be one catch.  I would not be offered any benefits because of the prohibitive costs.  But my career had plateaued and this would only be temporary to give myself experience.  Five years went by, had it not been for the HMO my wife had.

A break came when I landed a job with an entirely different company, a major, international firm.  I would be starting as a custodian, the lowest scale of the local union.  But what the union offered in health coverage was more than I could ever have hoped.  The great thing is, it could not be denied.  In the last five years, I have had my share of claims paid and I would have been dropped long ago.  But with this group policy, it cannot happen so I am told.

The economy and the new universal health care are creating issues which my opinions in these matters are not what this post is about, but rather reveal what employers are doing to skirt around having to offer benefits from under-enrollment, cutting hourly workers below full time.  As far as I am concerned, you must fight to keep whatever coverage you currently have if you are happy for it.

Time Travel – Changing History


H.G. Wells did it.  Sam Beckett did it.  Bill and Ted did it.  Superman had to do it for Lois.  Even Bart Simpson has done it.  Time travel.  All had the desire to go back into time to either research or alter time.  Each had their own mode for making the journey – an actual time travel machine, Ziggy the computer, a phone booth, a cape, and as a parody of “Back To The Future,” a DeLorean complete with Christopher Lloyd.

The concept is simple.  Go back in time.  Fix what needs to be corrected.  Come back to the future.  Of all the time travelling media, Sam Beckett in Quantum Leap was my favorite.  You see, when you change the past, you change the present and the future.  Beckett had to be careful so that he only changed the history of the person he was sent to help.  And there were times when it was extremely personal for him, like saving his wife, or even stopping this project which he found out eventually was much bigger than the invention that he created.

There is a different way to change history though, without going back through time.  We do it as children, and we often live through it as adults.  We study history.  The idea of studying history in one aspect, is to not repeat it.  Wars.  Space Shuttle disasters.  Tough economical times.  Medical crisis.  We study the examples so that we learn from them, and do not repeat them.

When we are born, our path is set.  There is a natural progression to aging, infancy to toddler, toddler through child, child into puberty, then to adulthood, and senior status.  And there are things that we know, are likely to happen to our bodies as we get older and our bodies get tired.  But just as travelling back into history to “fix” something, for me personally, the cancer diagnosis being the time traveller, forever changed my present and future.  There are bad things that came of it, but there are also good things that came of it.

For example, when I went through the radiation treatments, there were some things that were known that could happen as a result (called a side effect), but there was so much that was unknown.  Of course I knew what could happen.  Mr. McGee could make me very angry and I would go through my wardrobe very quickly not to mention look like I belonged on a can of vegetables (Incredible Hulk reference for those that need it).  Well, I did get a lot of radiation, too much in fact.  At the time, it was what worked, that is all researchers knew.  In today’s treatments, doctors know that they can use much less and by that, I mean ALOT less and have just the same effect or better.

So as I said, I received too much radiation, amounting to four times the lifetime allowance of exposure.  There are many who work at nuclear power plants that are not exposed to what myself and others were exposed to.  The sad thing, I know plenty more people who were treated with much more radiation and different types, like Cobalt.  We have all been told as children that radiation is bad – “don’t stand too close to the TV”, “don’t stand in front of the microwave”, “cell phones cause brain cancer.”  Not only does it treat cancer, and cure cancer, but it can cause cancer.  That is why if you are smart and able, you put sunscreen on your body.

Well, just like on the outside, when you get sunburned, with radiation treatments like I received, the burns were on the inside as well.  To my knowledge, it is something that I will always have.  So the radiation and chemotherapy start doing damage to my body, inside and out, which gradually gets worse over the years.  To understand, if you drive a car that has one tire that is not inflated properly, do you think that will affect the other tires?  The overall performance of the car?

As it is, that I believe about my body.  With the first lymph node that was removed and biopsied, so my body had to adjust.  With the staging laparotomy, my spleen was removed leaving my body challenged forever against infections and contagions.  When my heart bypass surgery was complete, blood was flowing at the rate once done before, my body parts not used to.  The list goes on.  My body’s natural physiology was changed back in 1988.  As far as I am concerned, everything that is happening to me today, is because of the things that happened from that time on.  And so far, this has been confirmed.

So given the chance, would I go back in time?  Knowing what I know now, would I take the opportunity to change my mind to any of the procedures, or even to allow the doctors to treat me?  Given the two choices that I had, death or most likely cure, how would today be different for me today? 

Hodgkin’s Disease has been one of the more curable forms of cancer for decades.  Treatments have gotten better, safer.  But would I have had that much time to wait decades for a cure that would not have had the impact on my health today?    I have two very very good reasons to not even entertain that option. 

Mad and Em 12813

All I can do now, is make sure that any more decisions do not give me cause to want to go back in time to correct a regret.  Then again, what if I already had gone back in time?  What if…

What Does Fibromyalgia Look Like?


On April 16, 2008, my wife’s life as she knew it was turned upside down.  Just the day before she had been told by me, that the cardiologist that I had just seen, wanted to do a catheterization on me, and put a couple of stints to repair some blockages that he was certain I had.  But the next day was totally different.  Following the outpatient procedure, and fully expecting to be able to take me home, instead, the cardiologist gave her the news.  The damage was far worse than anticipated and was due to radiation treatments that I had gone through eighteen or so years before.  I was so bad, that I was set up the next morning, less than 20 hours later.  Her husband was on the verge of having a major and fatal heart attack.  You can imagine the emotions that ran through her at that moment.  You can also imagine the stress that had been created as there were two daughters who also needed to be cared for.

Unfortunately, this would be just the beginning.  While prospects were good for recovery, it was still going to be difficult, because I am not a “take it easy” kind of guy and now all I wanted to do was get back on my feet and back into things.  But now we were also aware, that other things were going to become a possibility from my treatments, which further down the line, more than a dozen things have been discovered, and are now being managed.  But back to right after my heart surgery.

Wendy stays at home with me for two more weeks while I recover.  That made 3 weeks that our co-workers were able to talk smack about either one of us.  Okay, it was about her because how could anyone kick a guy when he was down because of heart surgery?  Quick answer, in spite of union brotherhood/sisterhood, my co-workers do not know one characteristic of a union as they roll by “stab in the back, then in the heart.”  So when Wendy returns to work she is confronted later in the day, about the parking space she parked in that morning.  It seems that this co-worker was uspet at not having the spot as she had for the three weeks that Wendy had been gone.  So for that, they made Wendy out to be a malicious bitch just out to cause trouble.  Forget the fact that she is still dealing with a very sick husband who almost died.  Within a week, Wendy had the entire department, including supervisors after her, for any size infraction, true or false.

When I found out, to say I was angry because I had to call in to work about this, is an understatement.  But this was just the beginning of an all out plan to get Wendy fired.  Soon friends who had visited with us and vacationed with us, had turned their backs on Wendy, some to be malicious, some not to get caught in the crossfire.  The stress level at work, between Wendy and I escalated in amount and frequency.

In November of 2008, I rushed Wendy to the ER believeing that Wendy was in horrible pulmonary distress.  We lost many months while diagnoses ranged from asthma to lupus, and who knows what else.  Drug after drug had been given to her, producing no results.  So with her work record and reputation not improving, the hostile work environment was continuing to worsen as accusations of Wendy being seen and looking okay combing back to work.

We are at a crossroad right now.  Assuming Wendy will not be able to return to work with her final diagnosis of fibromyalghia which took over 4 years to get to, she will not have FMLA to protect her, and undoubtedly take advantage of their attendance policy and she will be fired.  I’m not sure what cmoes next,  I just want my wife to function again.  I don’t care if she can’t work, but I need her to function.

Fibromyalgia is a cyclic disease, once you get on the bike, you ride and ride and ride but cannot get off.  You have the pain, lose sleep, lack of sleep causes body breakdowns, causing more pain and repeat.

What I do know at this point, our co-workers know everything going on with Wendy.  They have not visited with her, and have not asked me, but they know everything about her.  When the dust of that sarcasm clears, the cruelty and harrassment will go up 100%, and so will the stress, and what it does to us at home, making her FM even worse.  It is just a brutal cycle.

Wendy does have an occasional good day, seen smiling, getting coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts on her way home after dropping me off at work.  A supervisor behind her is who spotted her and ran back to her like they worked for TMZ and even more damage was done. 

So here are the rules from our employer whether you are suffering from Fibromyalgia, heart surgery, the flu, whatever:

1.     no smiling

2.    no going into a pharmacy especially being seen near the pharmacy

3.    no walking, because then she walk, this is a typical therapy drill

4.   she is not allowed to have a good day

The list goes on, but I am going to end it here.

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