Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the tag “Hodgkin’s Lymphoma”

The Benefits Of A Challenge


Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is considered a rare form of blood cancer. I know this, because I battled HD over 24 years ago. My doctor back then, I will call him Dr. S., misdiagnosed me as having a common cold. Oops, imagine that mistake. The reality, unless you were being checked for breast cancer or skin cancer, many doctors had no idea what to look for.

The upside was that for what little I knew about HD, the cure rate was considered high. It was not 100% curable, but a great cure rate nonetheless. But unlike breast cancer, lung cancer, and even other major ailment such as cardiac disease, diabetes, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma did not, and to this day does not get a lot of publicity for fundraising such as the prior mentioned ailments.

I recall seeing one commercial, during late night television, which featured a young female, a common demographic for a Hodgkin’s diagnosis, lying in a hospital bed in the middle of Manhattan. Of course, as is common in New York City, people just go about their business, not paying any attention to the sick young women on a hospital bed in the unusual location of a NYC street, or why she was there. As goes the knowledge of people battling Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

And unlike the attention to a particular cancer paid, when celebrities such as Michael Douglass or Cheryl Crow, or even Lance Armstrong (sorry, I know, but performance enhancing issues or not, he did battle a serious cancer), there have been plenty of celebrities who have battled Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. And as each one is publicized, I hope that one celebrity becomes the one that finally will be the one who can bring Hodgkin’s to the forefront for a cure, the first cancer with a 100% cure rate. The most noticeable celebrity right now facing Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is Def Leppard guitarist Vivian Campbell.

Mr. Campbell is finishing up his second treatment regimen, the first treatment only putting him into remission temporarily. He has continued to play and tour with his bandmates. As someone who worked through his HD treatments, I can truly appreciate his efforts to continue to tour. But here is an example of someone who should clearly have the money and resources available to get the best treatment for a curable cancer, and yet, he has struggled. Perhaps with a little more research, the better and more effective cure can be found. But that costs money. To get money, you have to bring attention to the cause.

Which is why I have to admire the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. I was challenged today by another local author, Stephen Kaufman to complete this challenge, and issue a challenge of my own to other individuals. The task, dump a bucket of ice cold water over my head, or donate $100 to ALS. This challenge has received mixed reviews as many cynics felt that doing this task was not going to do anything for the benefit for ALS research. Many felt that all the task was doing was giving people their Youtube fame on Facebook, and not much would be done for ALS research or patients.

But the truth is, people have not only been doing the challenge, but also making the donations, and many making more than just the $100 donation. Celebrities are also joining in the challenge from rock stars to athletes to politicians, to actors, many making enormous donations to fight ALS. Even ALS patients themselves are getting into the act.

As personal as my fight with the rare blood cancer, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, my fight with ALS became personal several years ago when a co-worker was diagnosed with ALS. Ron would be the first person I would encounter, unfortunately not the last. Two years later, my brother-in-law Mike would be diagnosed following an unusual slurred speech development. If only our lighthearted concerns of being too much Jack Daniels would have been the case, unfortunately it was Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

With this being my brother-in-law, someone I was very close to, almost as a brother, I saw first hand the Hell that an ALS patient goes through as their body slowly destroys itself. One of the worst parts of the disease is that the mind is relatively in a state of complete awareness as to what is going on, but as the body slowly loses its ability to eat, swallow, speak, grasp, stand, the mind can do nothing about it. Even more frustrating according to Mike, was the inability for him to communicate. While technology would provide an avenue for him to speak, an app for his Ipad, that when he either typed words or wrote words with his finger tip, the Ipad would vocalize for him, this was not the same as being able to have just a regular vocal conversation.

Over time, the ALS became more evident in Mike, but it did not stop him from trying to do what he enjoyed. He continued to work through most of his illness, his employer accommodating him pretty much up until the end. He rode his motor cycle and finally made a pilgrimage to Ireland, a life long dream of his. At one point, he joined others, in an attempt to draw attention to ALS, by travelling to the Jersey shore in the middle of Winter, for a “polar plunge” into the Atlantic (the original version of the Ice Bucket Challenge).

It will be two years next month that Mike lost his battle. So today, I accepted my challenge, nominated four others to complete the challenge. And as many others, I will also send a check into the ALS Foundation as I have done in the past, in Mike’s memory.

It was noted via various media resources that last year alone, only $1.7 million had been raised for ALS research through various fundraisers. But in just the past two months, over $25 million has been raised through this Ice Bucket Challenge. Awareness for a rare and fatal disease has been made. Funds for research have been earned.

As someone who has battled another rare disease, I appreciate the efforts this cause has put out, and earned. I hope someone, every disease, regardless of severity, can find its own “ice bucket challenge” to help their cause.

Cancer Does Not Discriminate


Back in 1989, as I walked through the hallway of the 9th floor at St. Luke’s Hospital for the first time as a cancer patient, the first lesson I learned was that cancer does not discriminate. Whereas early in my childhood, and mainly because of stereotypes that cancer created, it seemed that only certain people were diagnosed, and died from cancer.

Within minutes, I would see the widest of ranges in age of patients, from as young as two, to patients in their eighties. I saw men and women, people of all ethnicities. I would be willing to be also, that it did not matter if you were a good person or a bad person. Short and tall, rich and poor. It did not matter.

It was after those first steps on the cancer floor, that I had it in my mind I was going to be my cancer, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. But it also became a moment that would change my thought process. After seeing the various patients, and in their various states, from that moment on I no longer gave myself the opportunity to feel sorry for myself, to allow myself to feel or acknoledge any pain or discomfort, physical or emotional. Someone was always going to have it worse than me. My situation was going to be temporary. This was thinking was going to be an issue for the rest of my life, and it is, often in a horrible way.

You see, no matter what the pain or discomfort, it does not take away from the reality, that it is real. Your pain, my discomfort, someone else’s ail, they are all real, and all deserve the proper attention. Yet while for the most part, I appreciate being able to be referred to as a long term cancer survivor. But at the same time, my heart mourns for Jennifer (see Jennifer’s Story on this blog page), and now my heart completely mourns for Michael. My thoughts begin to be dominated by a three year old neighbor battling a cancer that just a few years ago, took my stepsister’s life with her second battle having survived the first time for more than 30 years. I worry about my dad who just turned 70 as he worries about his cancer surviving.

Cancer does not discriminate. And even if it did, I do not know if that would help to make sense as to the “why” it has to happen. All I know is that it hurts. Every time I must say goodbye who has come into my life, it hurts. That is why I participate in fundraisers like the Relay For Life, Light The Night, breast cancer walks. Money cannot be the reason that we continue to lose someone. We need to find the cures, for all cancers, and then prevention.

Turning Things Around


As a rule, I am generally a positive person. I have to be. It would be too easy just to be swallowed up by all the negativity in the world whether it be the news on the television, co-workers, or even family and friends. The “deck” has been stacked against me my entire life, but I always found a way to get through whatever challenge was thrown my way. No matter the challenges, being bullied in school, cancer, heart surgery, and now in the later stages of my second divorce, I am always able to find my way through, “rise up from the ashes like a Phoenix”.

At the age of 48, it is time to stop living challenge to challenge. I have always had strong faith in a supreme being (I am respectful to all religions which is why I worded it that way) so that has never been an issue. Physically, as the school bullies found out, I can take a pretty good beating. However, emotionally, it has always been a struggle of the old “one step forward, two steps back.” I would get so far through one crisis just to realize that another crisis had been lying in wait. But, as always, I was positive I was going to get through anything thrown at me. I am ready now to take two steps forward, and push back against anything thrown at me.

As I recovered from my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, having gained over fifty pounds from the chemotherapy, it was positive thinking and commitment that helped me to get back into physical condition, drop the excess weight. I had done it. But just that quickly, as always, was another set back.

My recovery from emergency heart surgery was no different, just more cautious. But as time went on, again, there were factors standing in line against me. It was discovered that late developing side effects were now coming to the front of my physical condition. And as I have done every time, I have taken them on head on. But over recent years, it has required the help of prescription medications, meaning, it has not resolved my problems, just hidden them. But that is going to be my next post. Right now, I am so pumped up because I think I have finally found the right direction to stay several steps ahead of negativity and finally talk the talk, and walk the walk.

To have a positive outcome, I have had to surround myself with the most positive and supportive people, professional, family, and friends. It sounds simple. I had heard through my life “you can do it” or “hang in there.” That is not good enough. Positive support and reinforcement means just that, constant, all in. Unlike my recovery from my cancer and heart surgery, I am surrounded by people who genuinely want to see me live a life, free from all the forces that try to stand in my way.

I have struck gold in a dietician who has told me, “I’m not going to give up on you”. Evidently something that I said sparked that response. I have gone through three other dieticians to get a grip on my finicky and poor diet choices. And I am heading in the right direction no longer struggling to try new foods, and also eat healthy. I am being encouraged very strongly, with plenty of incentive, to exercise. Yes, the incentive of a healthy body should be good enough, but there are so many wonderful things that are waiting for me. I have been exercising regularly and it is beginning to show. Finally, the emotional part of this journey, dealing with the stress that often comes along with the trials, but also contributes to their effects. I strongly believe that a lot of the medications that I was placed on following my heart surgery were due to the stress I have been under.

A challenge has been issued to me within the next 30 days. It is a realistic goal to me. I can reach this because I am surrounded by people who want to see me succeed. This time, I really want to turn things around.

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