Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Surviving Cancer – Is It Enough?


I was sitting on the bow of my friends boat this afternoon, headed for a popular local attraction in southern Florida.  I mention this because it was a beautiful day, a beautiful ride, and it gave me a lot of time about what I was going to write today.  In the wake of recent on-line challenges, the “ALS Ice Bucket Challenge”, “Happy Challenge”, and others (I have actually done the first two), I realized how much good had been done for ALS awareness, and also how happy a person I really am and can be.  While ALS is considered rare, putting a name to the disease, Lou Gehrig’s Disease, made the disease recognizable, and for many, personal.

I decided a week ago, that I would issue my own challenge, but to myself.  I am very grateful to the many readers and followers of “Paul’s Heart” and on the same Facebook page.  I have spoken a lot about my issues as a patient, a survivor, and as a caregiver of not just cancer, but a rare blood cancer called Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  September is “Blood Cancer Awareness Month” but also recognized as “Lymphoma Month” for those that break it down.

The trick is, how do I make you care and develop awareness of a rare disease?  Sure I could issue an internet challenge.  I am sure everyone is trying to brainstorm the next big fundraiser.  But I think the big success of that challenge, is what I plan to do, put a face or make my challenge personal.  I am not going to ask you to anything but read, learn, become aware that just because a disease is not the most talked about, such as AIDS, breast or lung cancer, cardiac disease, does not mean that it does not deserve or need attention.  What you do with what you learn is up to you.  I am not challenging you to donate money, just become aware.  I am not asking you to do any stunt, just simply share what you read.

I am not a doctor, so you will not get medical advice from me.  What will you get?  Life experiences, of my own, and from the hundreds of people that I have come across over the last 24 years.  Twenty-four years!!  I have seen so much progress in the fight against cancer, and my cancer, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, but it has not been enough.  Cancer has ravaged my family.  My grandmother died from two cancers, breast and ovarian.  My sister passed away a few years ago after battling “aplastic anemia” for the second time in her life (she had been in remission since the late 1970’s with her first battle).  This past May, I lost my father from lung cancer.  This is nothing compared to the dozens of friends that have passed from either the cancer itself or the many side effects that have developed either soon after treatment ended, or late in life like I have had to deal with.

For the next 30 days, I will post 30 posts pertaining to a cancer that I know all too well, in recognition of Lymphoma Month, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  I will post about my own story, other patients and survivors, caregivers, and topics such as emotions, family, fertility, employment, treatment options and many more.  I will also post other stories not cancer related because “Paul’s Heart” is more than just a cancer blog.  It is about my life as a survivor and as a single dad.  Of course, if you wish, you may comment directly on the blog, or write me at pedelmanjr@yahoo.com, or visit my Facebook page for “Paul’s Heart.”

I am a 24 year survivor of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, stage 3.  I was treated with some of the most toxic drugs.  For years I have struggled with why I have survived all these years, while so many do not.  As time has gone on, new treatments have come, but enough has not been done to cure Hodgkin’s.  Follow “Paul’s Heart” through September, and you will see why more needs to be done.

PUNCHBUGGY!!!


There was a custom in the mid to late 1980’s, usually while driving, when spotting a Volkswagon Beetle (for those that need the image… recall “Herbie The Love Bug”), if you had a passenger in your car with you, and either of you spotted one of these “bugs”, it would become a race who could curl up a fist and either punch the other person in the leg or arm. And it was usually a good wallop too since participants were usually well into their teen years.

As time went on, the Volkswagon Beetle (bug) disappeared. And so did the frequency of “bug” sightings and assaults. This aggressive car game had gone the way of the Beetle.

For me personally, I did not pay attention to the return of the Beetle, which resembles its earlier design and never seems to change in appearance from year to year. But somehow, along with its return, came the return of the warcry “PUNCHBUGGY!!” and the painful reminder.

My memory had been refreshed during my daughters’ visit with me this Summer. Within the first day of their visitation, I was surprised to see, hear, and feel, they had learned a game that I thought had been long gone. And there it was…”PUNCHBUGGY!!!” followed by one punch and then completely off-guard another “PUNCHBUGGY!!!” came from the other side of me, along with another hit.

Who taught my daughters this game? Bad enough to get one, but to get it from two at the same time? They worked well as a team too. One daughter would hear the other, and then load up her fist and follow up. I did not stand a chance.

My daughters enjoyed playing “PUNCHBUGGY!!” with me. And I think I got hit with it every day that they were here. And as much as the cry of “PUNCHBUGGY!!!” came out, even though it was from my daughters, I did grow weary of it, not to mention, quite sore.

My daughters returned home to their mother last week. Funny but I do not recall paying attention to Volkswagon Beetles before their visit as I do today. But as I waited for my car to be unloaded from the Autotrain, I counted fifteen Beetles being unloaded from the train. On one hand, grateful that my arms would not be completely limp and in pain, while at the same time, yes, wishing I would hear “PUNCHBUGGY!!!” again.

Such as life. This is one of the lighter stories of divorce. This is about a game, and how much it causes my heart to miss my daughters. Every day now, I see at least one “bug”, and in my heart and in my head, I yell, “PUNCHBUGGY!!!” to myself, and instead of a punch, I get a smile.

I cannot wait until our next visit.

The Benefits Of A Challenge


Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is considered a rare form of blood cancer. I know this, because I battled HD over 24 years ago. My doctor back then, I will call him Dr. S., misdiagnosed me as having a common cold. Oops, imagine that mistake. The reality, unless you were being checked for breast cancer or skin cancer, many doctors had no idea what to look for.

The upside was that for what little I knew about HD, the cure rate was considered high. It was not 100% curable, but a great cure rate nonetheless. But unlike breast cancer, lung cancer, and even other major ailment such as cardiac disease, diabetes, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma did not, and to this day does not get a lot of publicity for fundraising such as the prior mentioned ailments.

I recall seeing one commercial, during late night television, which featured a young female, a common demographic for a Hodgkin’s diagnosis, lying in a hospital bed in the middle of Manhattan. Of course, as is common in New York City, people just go about their business, not paying any attention to the sick young women on a hospital bed in the unusual location of a NYC street, or why she was there. As goes the knowledge of people battling Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

And unlike the attention to a particular cancer paid, when celebrities such as Michael Douglass or Cheryl Crow, or even Lance Armstrong (sorry, I know, but performance enhancing issues or not, he did battle a serious cancer), there have been plenty of celebrities who have battled Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. And as each one is publicized, I hope that one celebrity becomes the one that finally will be the one who can bring Hodgkin’s to the forefront for a cure, the first cancer with a 100% cure rate. The most noticeable celebrity right now facing Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is Def Leppard guitarist Vivian Campbell.

Mr. Campbell is finishing up his second treatment regimen, the first treatment only putting him into remission temporarily. He has continued to play and tour with his bandmates. As someone who worked through his HD treatments, I can truly appreciate his efforts to continue to tour. But here is an example of someone who should clearly have the money and resources available to get the best treatment for a curable cancer, and yet, he has struggled. Perhaps with a little more research, the better and more effective cure can be found. But that costs money. To get money, you have to bring attention to the cause.

Which is why I have to admire the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. I was challenged today by another local author, Stephen Kaufman to complete this challenge, and issue a challenge of my own to other individuals. The task, dump a bucket of ice cold water over my head, or donate $100 to ALS. This challenge has received mixed reviews as many cynics felt that doing this task was not going to do anything for the benefit for ALS research. Many felt that all the task was doing was giving people their Youtube fame on Facebook, and not much would be done for ALS research or patients.

But the truth is, people have not only been doing the challenge, but also making the donations, and many making more than just the $100 donation. Celebrities are also joining in the challenge from rock stars to athletes to politicians, to actors, many making enormous donations to fight ALS. Even ALS patients themselves are getting into the act.

As personal as my fight with the rare blood cancer, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, my fight with ALS became personal several years ago when a co-worker was diagnosed with ALS. Ron would be the first person I would encounter, unfortunately not the last. Two years later, my brother-in-law Mike would be diagnosed following an unusual slurred speech development. If only our lighthearted concerns of being too much Jack Daniels would have been the case, unfortunately it was Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

With this being my brother-in-law, someone I was very close to, almost as a brother, I saw first hand the Hell that an ALS patient goes through as their body slowly destroys itself. One of the worst parts of the disease is that the mind is relatively in a state of complete awareness as to what is going on, but as the body slowly loses its ability to eat, swallow, speak, grasp, stand, the mind can do nothing about it. Even more frustrating according to Mike, was the inability for him to communicate. While technology would provide an avenue for him to speak, an app for his Ipad, that when he either typed words or wrote words with his finger tip, the Ipad would vocalize for him, this was not the same as being able to have just a regular vocal conversation.

Over time, the ALS became more evident in Mike, but it did not stop him from trying to do what he enjoyed. He continued to work through most of his illness, his employer accommodating him pretty much up until the end. He rode his motor cycle and finally made a pilgrimage to Ireland, a life long dream of his. At one point, he joined others, in an attempt to draw attention to ALS, by travelling to the Jersey shore in the middle of Winter, for a “polar plunge” into the Atlantic (the original version of the Ice Bucket Challenge).

It will be two years next month that Mike lost his battle. So today, I accepted my challenge, nominated four others to complete the challenge. And as many others, I will also send a check into the ALS Foundation as I have done in the past, in Mike’s memory.

It was noted via various media resources that last year alone, only $1.7 million had been raised for ALS research through various fundraisers. But in just the past two months, over $25 million has been raised through this Ice Bucket Challenge. Awareness for a rare and fatal disease has been made. Funds for research have been earned.

As someone who has battled another rare disease, I appreciate the efforts this cause has put out, and earned. I hope someone, every disease, regardless of severity, can find its own “ice bucket challenge” to help their cause.

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