Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

07 Feb 2021
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A Super Sunday For A Different Reason


It was mid-January.  The Seattle Seahawks, my favorite team was in the playoffs and heading to the NFC championship against the Rams.  I told a co-worker, a known football game gambler, “bet your house on the Seahawks beating the Rams and go to the Super Bowl!”  His response?  “You’re nuts!  The Rams offense is too good for the Seahawks.”  I said, “I’m telling you, the Seahawks are going to the Super Bowl.”  He asked with a smirk, “what makes you so sure?”

Murphy’s Law.  That was how I knew.  The Seahawks did beat the Rams to advance to their first Super Bowl appearance in their franchise history.  The reason for my bold claim?  I was expecting news any moment of the adoption of my second daughter, travel news.  I was preparing myself, that it was likely, I might be flying to China to adopt my daughter during the Super Bowl, missing my favorite team’s only appearance.  It was bound to happen.

And that is exactly what happened.  On Sunday, February 5th, 2006, Super Bowl Sunday, I flew from the Newark International Airport to adopt my second daughter.  It was a sixteen hour, non-stop flight.  I checked with the airlines if the game would be televised on the plane.  They said, “no.”  And so, my older daughter and I, adorned in our Seahawks gear, boarded the plane with many passengers wearing black and yellow colors, Steeler wear.  Nobody ever remembers who loses a Super Bowl, but I do, and to whom.

Landing in Hong Kong, those black and yellow passengers were celebrating.  How?  How could they have known the results already?

There was no time to mourn, what I did not see.  The biggest moment of my life was about to take place for the second time, becoming a Dad again.

Yep, I had packed all my Seahawk gear I could take.  I was a Dad again.  That was sixteen years ago.  I remember all the details of that trip.

Every year, I recognize this date, as I do with the similar date with my older daughter.  We happen to refer to it as the “gotcha day,” though some get upset about the term, implying that they were taken.  Others call it a “forever family” day or “rainbow family” day.

She is my Super Bowl baby.

The adoption process is a fascinating one, in how families are matched up.  There is no mistaking that my daughters are sisters in the familial sense.

Both have their differences as well in the personalities, their dreams, and their character.  And next month, I will recognize my older daughter’s “gotcha day” as well, a very special one.

There is no forgetting what this weekend means to me.  Yes, it is Super Bowl weekend.  And as I prepare for another visit with my daughters, I will miss the Super Bowl this time as well.  That can mean only one thing, my daughter is coming home… again.

Go Chiefs!

Posted in Adoption, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation
06 Feb 2021
2 Comments

15 Blessed Years


On February 5th, 2006, I landed in Hong Kong for my second journey in parenthood.  Having gone through this almost two years earlier, while I was familiar with the process and things to expect along the way, I would soon realize, that I would learn even more about where my daughters were from, important so that I could let them know what it was like.

On February 6th, Emmalie was placed into my arms.

This was one of the events that was very familiar to me, and why I express, this moment, and the adoption of my older daughter, being the top two moments of my life, both their adoptions tied in the number one spot.

I was in China during the tail end of the Chinese New Year, Year of the Dog.  Fireworks cracked day and night celebrating the lunar new year.  Although I was pretty screwed up sleep-wise from the 13 hour time difference, I had no problem sleeping through the nighttime celebrations.

This is a picture of a new hospital across from the hotel we stayed in.  It is the same hotel as two years prior for my older daughter, but two year prior, this was a hole in the ground.  A couple of days later, I would get to see Chinese medicine first hand.  Long story for this post.

One thing we did not get to do two years before, due to SARS, was travel.  This trip, we were taken to a village, very similar to where my second daughter is from.  It was a humbling experience to say the least because unlike those living in the city areas, here, there was no running water or electricity, floors were concrete, and the people who lived here, survived on bare minimum.

Other things we did included going to a temple.

A trip to the medical clinic at the US consulate to make sure my daughter was healthy.

Big sister also got to deal with the new sleeping/sleepless routine.

Pictured here with my daughters, are the two most precious people to me, the ones who helped create my family, Helen and De.  Normally they do not get to see the children after the adoption is complete, but by coming back to adopt my younger daughter, they got to see Madison again, who they had not seen since two years before.  They were so happy to see her and showered her with gifts.

She has a million different expressions that she can make with her face, and almost all bring a smile to anyone near her.  I describe her as my comic relief, because she really is such a funny daughter.

But if there was one thing for certain, I would not be here today, if it were not for my daughters giving me the will to keep fighting.  Having had cancer, it was next to impossible in the US to even think that I could become a father.  China gave me that opportunity no questions asked.

I have been blessed to see both of my daughters grow through their childhood.  This time of year always reminds me of those first days and how far we have all come.

 

Posted in Adoption, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart
05 Feb 2021

“But You Said…”


The following question came across my feed yesterday:

“I am halfway through treatments, and my scan shows I am in remission (YAY!).  Have any of you quit doing the rest of the treatments?  My doctor wants me to keep going.”

The question is a valid one, and emotional one.  As anyone who has gone through treatments that have brutal side effects can tell you, given the chance to drop any, we would likely all do it.  But there is also a reason to seriously consider the risks of not doing it.

I was originally scheduled for 6 cycles of MOPP-ABV chemotherapy, my radiation therapy having not been successful in keeping me in remission.  I had already been warned by my oncologist, there was a likelihood that I would actually end up going through two additional cycles as a “preventative” measure.

I had my scan to see the progress of the treatment at number 4 treatment.  It was November of 1989.  I won’t forget it.  I was told I was in remission.  The first words out of my mouth were, “ok, that’s all I need then, right?”

My oncologist responded, “you could.  But you have to ask yourself, having not stayed in remission before already, wouldn’t it be better to finish the treatment regimen and make sure that you stay in remission this time?”

As excited as I was to hear the news of remission, I was brought crashing down to reality.  My doctor was right.  I wanted to stay in remission.  And not only did I finish the remaining two treatments, but I did the additional two “preventative” treatments.

If you follow my blog, then you know I am now approaching my 31st year in remission next month.  I may not know if I did not take the extra treatments, if I would be able to make this claim.  But I do know that I can say that I did make it this far because I did.

Look, when we are dealing with a severe cold or infection, we are usually given antibiotics for a period of time.  We are told to take them all.  Yet, some may feel better half-way through and think “I don’t need to keep taking them,” and stop.  Then, SURPRISE!  The infection returns, sometimes worse.

Science studies medicines for dosages and duration.  There is a reason if you are taking an antibiotic for ten days, you take it for ten days.  It is not enough to just beat down the disease.  All it takes is a few cells to regenerate more and you are back where you started.  Not to mention the fact, that after taking the full regimen, the drug’s effects itself are likely to last some extra days, continuing to give you protection as you heal.

I use this example when trying to explain the importance of continuing chemotherapy or other treatment, when someone has been told they are in remission.  Yes, we want to get to remission.  But more importantly, we want to stay there.  Approaching 31 years in remission myself, I guess that kind of proves my point.

Posted in Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment

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