Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “The Heart”

22 Oct 2020

Expected To Do The Right Thing – Part 1


Decades ago, in a former employer of mine, a co-worker came in to work, and let it be known that she had been diagnosed with “strep throat.”  Simply put, it is a very contagious bacterial infection involving the throat, easily confirmed and diagnosed.  It is also easily treated with antibiotics.

I mentioned that it is highly contagious.  You can contract it by being sneezed or coughed on, or by touching a surface that has been sneezed or coughed on by someone who has strep throat.

Like I said, it is easily treatable under most circumstances.

But what happens if you happen to be someone with a compromised immune system?  I have mentioned many times, that I am asplenic, I have no spleen.  My spleen was removed as part of my diagnostics for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  What this has left me with, is not just a condition of increased susceptibility, but an increased risk of complications, up to and including death.  This situation exists for me with all kinds of viruses and bacteria including chicken pox, the flu, and yes, Covid19.

Upon learning that my co-worker had strep throat, I approached my concern about my exposure as we worked in a small enclosed office.  He said, “well what do you want me to do about it?”

Here is what should have been done, often referred to as the right thing, she would have stayed home during her contagious period.  But now she was at work, possibly contaminating the entire workforce.  Instead, I was not faced with the decision of using my own sick time, to go home, so as not to expose myself to the risk.  Oh, except I would not be allowed to use sick time, as I was not officially sick.  Forced instead to use up personal time.  She was sick, yet I was the one affected.

Let’s look at it from the employer point of view.  Would it have been better for the employee to have called out sick from work leaving the workforce only short one person?  Or should the employee be praised for coming in no matter how crappy she felt, but now the potential for multiple employees contracting strep, resulting in many employees out sick, leaving a huge work shortage to make up for?

Let’s look at the employee’s point of view?  She was an adult, so she knew that she had a contagious illness.  She also was lucky enough to have an employer that offered sick pay, so that was not incentive to come into work.

And finally, my point of view.  I was now in the position of having to leave work myself, AND I WAS THE ONE THAT WAS NOT SICK!  I am now being looked at as a pain in the ass and instigator.  I was just expected to suck it up and shut up.  While she was likely not to have any issue with getting over her strep, if I contracted it, I faced huge risks.

This post is relevant.  I am doing it in two parts, normally when I do this it is because they are so long, or has multiple things discussed.  But I am writing this in two parts intentionally.  The next part you will see why.

But based on so far, given today’s attitude either in the some of the government in regard to safety precautions to dealing with the Covid19 pandemic, or the opinions of some of the public, if we are expecting the public to do the right thing, in the above situation, what was the right thing to do?  And why?

Posted in Bullying, Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
14 Oct 2020

Singing Is More Than Just The Music


Music has been a part of my life for over forty-five years.  I have enjoyed it in many forms from playing (guitar and piano), writing, disc jockeying (both on radio and at live events) and simply listening to it.  But above all, I love singing.

I started with the church youth choir at seven years old.  I would sing with other troupes, eventually participating in school choruses and chorales.  I performed in my share of school musicals.  Competitively, I would audition for the various levels of school festivals and eventually even find my way to the Allentown Symphony Chorus for a brief stint.

It did not matter when or how, as long as I enjoyed doing it, I was going to keep singing.

Music has played some very important roles in my life.  Besides my younger formative years, I relied on music to take my mind elsewhere as I sat in a chemotherapy chair for three hours during each treatment, the music inspiring my mind to help fight my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

Of course, music would also be blasted through my headphones, every time that I had to rehabilitate my body back from the many challenges it has faced.

And depending on the source of stress, I would pick a genre of music (I listen to everything), to help me meditate and reduce the toxicity that stress causes.

I should also mention, that my daughters also being involved in “musical” activities such as dance or orchestra, also produced enjoyment for me.

But over time, my survivorship has taken its toll on my body.  Damage from late developing side effects from radiation therapy and chemotherapy have wreaked havoc under the shell that people see.  Mobility and flexibility has been greatly limited, endurance mostly gone, fatigue a major problem, I simply do what I can, and I am happy with that.

Following my first heart surgery back in 2008, I needed to rehab my lungs, actually my entire rib cage area from being cracked open for the surgery.  Increasing and maintaining lung capacity is critical for recovery.  To help with this, I was given a “toy.”

This, is called a spirometer.  The goal is to get the “ball” to a certain higher number, repeatedly and eventually without effort.  And though it may seem easy, it can be frustrating, and boring.  But it was a requirement as I recovered from the surgery.  I would see this device several times after that, following two bouts with pneumonia, and other concerns with my lung capacity, courtesy of radiation damage to my lungs.

Like I said, using a spirometer is boring and difficult to keep up the interest.  But without this type of exercise, my lung capacity would continue to decrease, only more rapidly.

So, that is when I relied on something that had always been there for me in my life, music, in particular, singing.  There would be no better way for me to keep my lungs workable and pliable, than the level of breathing used to sing.

Unfortunately for me, my own worst critic, and having been professionally trained, there is something called technique, which my current lung capacity has taken away from me.  Musically, I still hit my notes, and for the most part, as clear and pleasant tone as I have always had.  But in my head, I notice my technique is gone.  Someone listening to me who has also been trained will likely notice it, those who are not, may not.

But singing has helped me keep my lung capacity as optimal as I can.  And given the crisis that we are currently in, Covid19, and the impact the virus can have on the lungs, with this pre-existing condition (one of many I have for Covid19), it is critical that I do what I can to keep my lungs in the best shape I can.  There are not may options for me if I get the virus and if impacts my lungs.

Keeping my lungs in shape recently has been difficult.  With various health regulations and advisements against public gatherings, opportunities to sing in public are between few and none.  Even karaoke, something I definitely enjoy, is not an option for me right now.  Sure, there is singing in the shower and in the car, but it is not the same.

I must keep singing though.  My lungs depend on it.  I must keep music in my life.  It is what gets me through.  Music is more to me than just the notes.  Music is life.

 

Posted in Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
13 Oct 2020

Handshakes And Hugs… Who Needs Them?


Disclaimer, I have never been much of a hugger, especially in the moments of a greeting or departure.  Although to be fair, when I saw the jpeg, I am thinking, okay, maybe I would make an exception for the pound-sized Hershey bar.

But seriously, growing up, there was never any of the kind of displays of salutations such as handshakes, hugs and kisses.  So, with the exception of my daughters and any particular special interest in my life, I actually feel quite awkward in displaying such greetings.

Howie Mandel has often been made fun of for the reasons he does not make physical contact with people, concern over germs, or the term “germaphobe.”  I have seen him react when his levels of comfort have been actually threatened, often for the sake of comedy.  For Mandel, it is quite serious.

For me, it is just awkward.  I have no interest in giving anyone a kiss that I am either not married to or dating.  As for hugs, meh, I could care less.  Again, for an immediate relation point of reference, I have no problem.  But if I am visiting someone’s home, or just happen to see someone I have not seen in a while, yeah, not so much into it.

The only salutation that I did not have any kind of issue with, was handshaking.  Yes, that is written in past tense.

Covid19 has taken care of that for sure with me.  Honestly, I am not heartbroken about it.  I actually think a smiling “Hi there!” from me, produces more of a friendly approach than a firm handshake might mistakingly infer.  I really do not care if I shake another hand at this point.

And this new thing… the elbow bump.  STOP IT!  It is just stupid.  Not to mention the fact, that if you are supposed to be socially distancing, you actually end up two feet closer (minimum) to be able to knock each other’s elbows.

We are now in our tenth month of this crisis, the seventh month full blown, and no end in sight.  I have mentioned in past posts, I get how many are having such a difficult time dealing with the recommendations and restrictions, and worse, the isolation.  Unless you have been blessed to not have lived through a health crisis, you know the urgentness of what we are facing with this crisis.

I try to keep the temperature low when it comes to discussions about Covid19.  Of course, I care about everyone, not just my family and friends, not just my fellow cancer survivors, but everyone.  I am a firm believer in science, and am quite frustrated that politics has caused the damage and confusion that it has.

Years ago, I worked with biohazards.  I was within small groups of co-workers.  The good thing was, all of those co-workers were on the same page, follow the rules and precautions.  An issue one day, led to management deciding that this small group was no longer a workable situation, and instead opened the assignment to the entire department, and I spoke up against it.  My arguments were denied, and given my health vulnerabilities, I did the only thing I could do.  It was one thing for the small and close group who respected the dangers of what we handled, but by requiring all employees, many of whom only cared about short-cuts to get done working early, my health was in danger.

I went to our health services department to obtain an exemption.  I was told that I “just had a problem with management.  There was no health concern.”  Again, if you follow my blog, you know I have a difficult health history.  I would eventually win my argument, but I should not have had to fight so hard.

THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT EFFICIENCY OF MASKS!  I have already written a post on that.  No matter what however, even the lowest level of protection of a mask does one simple thing, and I have said it long before Covid19.  It acts as a cough or sneeze guard for those who are either lazy or slob and do not cover their faces when they cough or sneeze.

Sure, when my kids were just entering daycare, that is when we learned a new method to prevent errant sneeze and cough germs, doing it into the crook of your elbow.  That way you just did not transfer your germs from you mouth or nose to your hands, and then not wash you hands.

Of course, Covid19 has made it more difficult, and more necessary.  And the sad thing is, it really does make a difference, in lowering the risk.  No, not the same as eliminating the risk.  I have said before, even with the N95 mask, unless you are trained how to wear one, it will do as well at protecting you as the surgical mask.  That is why I say it helps lower the risk.  And lowering is better than nothing.

I live in an area that is high into mask-refusal.  I have been mask shamed.  I have heard all the excuses why not to wear masks, and have yet to hear one that was valid.  Freedom not to wear them, sorry.  The only ones who lose their freedoms are the ones that die from Covid19.  Can’t breath or dying from breathing CO2?  Right, that is why the death rate of surgeons and operating room nurses is so high.

My favorite, no one tells me what to do.  You wear a seatbelt in your car, right?  And believe me, I am 100% against being forced to wear one.  And given the option or the ability to make up my own mind, I would not do it.  But the argument is there, seatbelts save lives.  And here is the part that I hear, and I say, “but it should be my choice.  If I don’t wear my seatbelt, it has no impact on my driving.”  Sound familiar?

When someone claims that wearing a mask does not save lives with Covid19, that just does not make any sense.  You may have the right, not freedom, to not wear a mask, but you do not have a right to make anyone else face a deadly virus.  Seriously, do you think you could get away with infecting someone with AIDS?  Don’t tell me that is different.  At least AIDS can be treated.

My decisions that I have made in regard to Covid19 have no impact on anyone.  I am protecting myself, and those around me.  I am not making a statement, political or otherwise.  Besides not wanting to contract Covid19, I do not want the responsibility of giving it to anyone.  If you think because you are young and healthy, you have nothing to fear, ask anyone who has met those descriptions and developed Covid19, and have struggled since, because they found out, they may not have been as healthy as thought.

I have been through these crisis before, and I have gotten through them because I have made smart choices, not tried to prove a point.  Covid19 will not be any different.

And for now, I don’t care if I shake another hand…ever.

Posted in Bullying, Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment

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