Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Recreation”

02 Oct 2023

Traci


Just like the title of this post is only one word, that is how I would actually be able to describe Traci, with one word, actually several come to mind, survivor, inspirational, role model. Okay, so that last one was two words. But still, Traci was worthy of that description.

Sadly, I did use the word “was” in the past tense. Once again, my world of fellow long term Hodgkin’s survivors, has lost another member of our group. While most of us have a variety of health issues, many quite serious, we know our mortality is likely shortened. And there are two ways that mortality normally comes to an end for us, either complications during a procedure, or the body simply just decides it has had enough. And in that latter part of the statement, it catches us completely off guard when it happens, as it did with Traci’s passing. Just less than two weeks ago, she had posted one of her many posts for pet advocacy and humorous memes. Though as the rest of us, she had her health struggles, there were no signs that anything was imminent. And then the news came. She was gone. Traci was doing what she enjoyed doing, and then her body decided it was time.

Traci was one of the many who actually had more years of survivorship from Hodgkin’s Lymphoma than I do. She was younger than me when she was diagnosed, not even a teenager, yet her survivorship lasted fifteen years longer than mine has. Through her many health issues, her continued strength in survivorship was inspirational to so many. She was never one to give up, but also realized that there was going to be a limit. And that was something that she accepted. Looking back at a conversation that I had with her earlier in the year, that conversation actually came up. How much more can our bodies be expected to take.

As a role model, you would never have suspected all the health issues that she faced. Traci was a fierce animal advocate. Her close friends describe her as genuine, a “straight shooter,” and a true friend, especially for those who had no voice or enough ability to speak theirs. In our world of survivorship, she always provided encouragement, and as I said, provided her life as an example, to make the most of everything while she could. As I scanned through photos for her tribute, along with all the cat photos, there were memories of trips, ball games, music concerts, and so many photos with friends. Traci definitely did all she could, when she could.

Though we have never met, my thoughts turn to her husband. The timing of her passing, completely unforeseen, presented a very complicated situation. But perhaps even harder than that, pictures of Traci and her husband show a couple who truly supported each other, and lived for each other. My loss of a friend, pales in comparison to what I am sure he is feeling.

Traci, to say you will be missed is an understatement.

Posted in Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
27 Sep 2023

An Elephant In The Room


As I am proofreading my book, now finished, I am reflecting on the many things that I wrote about. One of the things that is definitely one of the greatest things that I have witnessed over my four decades of cancer survivorship, is progress; progress in diagnostic methods, progress in treatment options, and progress in following up patients after cancer.

But we still lack an ability to talk about cancer with those closest to us, especially our significant others. Or, when it comes to beginning a relationship, when is the “right time” to bring up that you had cancer? Thirty-five years ago, when I was diagnosed, and beyond, we never heard of people beating cancer. If you heard the word cancer, it was because someone famous had died. And it was even rare to hear of a family member dying from cancer back then, because no one talked about it. There was a stigma of cancer being contagious, which of course was not true. And this was before social media. Poor choice of words, but the only reason cancer was thought to be “contagious,” was the contagion of rumors. Up until the turn of the century, it is likely that many cancer patients were treated as if they were contagious, or at least people thought cancer was contagious.

It was actually a social media post that came across my feed recently that provoked this post. It was written by a young woman, married, with several children. She had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma recently, and is about to undergo chemotherapy, which cocktail I am unaware and really does not matter for this post. Clearly she was looking for serious answers as she prefaced her question with a reference to “being adults.” She was not looking for cat calls or unsolicited flirting.

She was trying to gather consensus among other patients and survivors, on the risks of intimacy, from kissing to full sexual relations. As I had previously said, sex was the furthest from either my wife’s or my mind. And honestly, I do not recall any level of intimacy such as kissing, again, because of the whole “fear of contagiousness.” All I had been told once my chemo was done, when I asked how soon, we could pursue having children, I had been told to wait a year or two. In all honesty, while I was going through treatments, radiation or chemo, I really was not thinking about sex, although had I been presented with an opportunity, I would have had to have been a gentleman. Alas, the issue never came up. The rest you have to read in the book.

The author of the post ended up getting a variety of answers, and as per her request, reasonable responses. But they ranged from not being told anything, to refraining two to three days, or as many as seven. Any who had been given any kind of warnings, did say it referred to any form of body fluid exchange, which would not only have included kissing or intercourse, but any opportunity of exposure, which could include sweat, or sharing a glass or utensil with food. If there were intercourse, there did need to be a condom used.

The argument was, that the chemo drugs are believed to remain in the blood system for days following the infusion, and thereby could be released through bodily fluids. And this is a possibility. This is a far cry from my younger days when the concern was more towards catching cancer.

Posted in Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation, Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
25 Sep 2023

A Special National Daughter’s Day


Today is National Daughter’s Day. It is also a special chapter for me and my daughters. Both are now in college forging their futures. One is in her second year, having started a month ago, my younger starting her freshman year classes tomorrow.

And with the exception of the final “proof read,” my first stand alone book is finished, soon ready to go to the publisher. The super cool part of this project? Both of my daughters, while playing a part of the history in the book, also have a part in its creation, with the cover pictured, created by one daughter, and the other daughter with a written contribution inside the book.

Next up, publishing and distribution.

Posted in Adoption, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation | Leave a comment

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