Paul's Heart

Lasting Images

Country singer/actor Toby Keith passed away last week from complications of stomach cancer at the age of 62. In watching interviews with him where he talked about his cancer, he never stopped wanting to fight, and wanted nothing more than to beat his cancer. Keith stated that he did not want cancer to define him. But in his three year absence from performing, Keith found out, what many cancer patients find out during and after their battles, while cancer may not define you, there is no going back to the normal life you used to know before cancer. Instead, you face what is referred to as a “new normal.”

Many musicians have what is called “muscle memory.” This simply means for instance, the fingers do not forget how to play the guitar, or the vocal chords sing the notes. And though it had been some time since Keith had performed, he was confident that he could do both, in spite of the length of time since his last performance. But there would be one difference, a big difference.

Now, I am going to make my late Father proud, because he never knew me to be a fan of country music. While I appreciate most genres of music, country was not one that I paid a lot of attention to, though I did know some country artists and songs. But I soon found out, that I could sing country, as many male country artists were in my vocal range. Toby Keith was one of those artists whose songs I could sing. And he had a great catalogue of songs from patriotic, to fun bar-drinking songs like “As Good As I Once Was” and “Red Solo Cup,” popularized by being performed on the television drama “Glee.”

While Keith’s physical appearance definitely had been affected by the cancer and its treatments, his voice still sounded like it always had with one exception, and it was clearly impacted by his cancer. Keith had surgery for his stomach cancer, and part of the stomach had been attached to his diaphragm. And for those who are unfamiliar with the role of the diaphragm to a singer, for a singer like Keith, that is where he gets his power for his vocals as he belts out his songs. Because this surgery no longer allowed that abdominal support, Keith was unable to power out his lower and higher registers, producing a softer sound. This would become his “new normal” as he finally returned to the stage late last year.

The news of Keith’s passing, especially at the age of 62, was a shock to all. He was only four years older than me. And seeing the final images of Toby Keith, post cancer, reminded me of another popular icon, Patrick Swayze, who passed away from pancreatic cancer at the age of 57.

Swayze was known for movies like “Red Dawn,” “Point Break,” Ghost,” “Dirty Dancing,” and my favorite role for him, “Roadhouse.” But just as what cancer took away from Toby Keith and his fans, so did cancer do to Swayze.

From just the two pictures, you see a pattern developing. And I could probably list a lot of other celebrities and athletes who have lost their lives to cancer. The media gives all kinds of attention when someone famous dies of cancer, capitalizing on the attention paid by distraught fans. In the end, we are not left with memories of “Dalton” or “Sam”, strong characters that had us watching these movies over and over, but rather a lasting image of what cancer had taken away from us.

Ask any newly diagnosed cancer patient, what is one thing that will make a difference to them as they begin their own fight against any cancer, and they will tell you, “to know of someone who had beaten the cancer that they are now facing.” And there are plenty of actors, musicians, and athletes who have beaten cancers, but then most push their survival back into obscurity, never to be heard of again.

The truth is, there are millions of cancer survivors out in the world. We just are not famous, and most do not have any platform to offer their support and encouragement to those facing cancer. Pictured above on the left is me, at the age of 23, I believe during my second of eight cycles of chemotherapy. I had already gone through radiation therapy. There was no social media back in 1989 and 1990 when I was treated, and it looks like I was asleep, which would be why I don’t recall the picture being taken. The picture on the right, was taken at the beginning of the year, as I approach my 34th year in remission next month for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I am hoping this will not be my last image that I share, but I do hope that I do provide hope and inspiration for all of those newly diagnosed with cancer.

I do not mean to take away from those grieving the loss of Toby Keith, or anyone else who has not survived their fight with cancer. We should remember and honor those who have passed, and for all the good that they gave us. And hopefully the memories that our in our minds are from happier and healthier times.

I just wish that some would pay attention to the millions of us, and share our stories of survival, and what life has been like with our “new normal.” And realize, that while enduring treatments for cancer is not pleasant, in the end, in remission, life can be good. It may not be what we planned, but I know speaking for me personally, these last three and a half decades have been one helluva ride for me. And to quote Toby Keith from his hit that I love to sing, “As Good As I Once Was,” “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.”

World Cancer Day

Up until 1988, the only thing I knew about cancer personally, was a fundraiser that I participated in elementary school, sponsored by the American Cancer Society, called “Send A Mouse To College.” This of course was a reference to the supporting of medical research and cancer, which used mice, among other species, to find a cure for a disease, usually never talked about publicly, and almost always fatal.

My personal timeline went as follows. My grandmother would be diagnosed with breast cancer in 1986. That was all that was ever talked about it. Then in the fall of 1988, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease, now called Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Over the decades, cancer would knock on the door of my family several times (grandmother a second time, my grandfather, my father), and I would learn of others who had passed from cancer I was not even aware of, because it was not talked about (my paternal grandmother). That was a problem, and for many, lack of communication about cancer remains a problem.

The official recognition of World Cancer Day, is not a celebration, but rather a day of awareness, begun in 2000 in Paris, France, at the World Summit Against Cancer led by the Union For International Cancer Control. In 2008, February 4th was declared World Cancer Day, not to celebrate cancer, but to raise awareness of cancer, encourage prevention, provide information on diagnosing and treating cancer, and to make sure that everyone has access to the same quality health care against cancer, regardless of race, gender, or ethnicity.

The truth is, we should not need a special day to recognize the importance of dealing with cancer. But here it is, February 4th, World Cancer Day.

Since 1988, cancer has been more prevalent in my life. In fact, it seemed soon after my battle ended, more people around me, found themselves battling cancer. I knew this, because they had come to me for support. People were talking about cancer, at least that I was aware of, for the first time.

Upon completing my treatments, I made the decision to “give back” to those who saved my life, by reaching out to, and advocating for, other cancer patients and survivors, something that I still do to this day through Paul’s Heart. With the advances in technology, I am able to reach around the world with my advocacy and knowledge of the newer methods of diagnosis and treatments available today, compared to what I went through thirty-five years ago.

And for me, World Cancer Day is literally about the world. I have been blessed over these decades to meet other cancer patients and survivors, not just locally, not just around the United States, but literally around the world from countries such as Spain, Canada, Switzerland, England, Scotland, South Africa, and more. Together, we all do our part to inform and support those around us, and each other, in the battles against cancer.