Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Family and Friends”

13 Jul 2020

Back When Pro Wrestling Was Fun To Watch


I am taking a deep breath today.  No Covid19 talk.  No protesting.  No cancer.  Nothing serious today.  Instead, I want to share some memories from a simpler time.  It was a simpler time, as I often remind my daughters, “stay a kid for as long as you can.”  It was a time period in my mid-teens.  I had just switched schools.  I made several friends right off the bat.

One of those friends invited me to come along to his bowling league.  I had prior experience where I had moved from.  I enjoyed it.  But had no opportunity in my new location.

My friend had told me that he was going to be a “coach” also for the younger bowlers, the real little squirts, back before there were bumpers in the alleys.  The plan would be to bowl the first shift, early in the morning.  Then we would walk a few blocks away to his grandparent’s house, have some lunch (a hoagie from the local grocery store), watch this thing called “pro wrestling” for a little bit, and then walk back to the alley to coach the little kids.

We did this for a few years.  It was the same routine.  And while my bowling skills improved over time, it was the time in between the bowling shifts that I remember most.

I enjoyed my friend’s grandparents.  They were very sweet.  During our lunch break, my friend’s grandfather would always tell us of his experiences in the military during the war.  This was not entertainment I want to emphasize.  I was learning.  I was drawn to his details and that is where I first learned to always say thank you to those who have served and sacrificed.  This “friendship” would carry on into adulthood, and we would all bowl together as adults in league play, even winning a championship.  I often felt of him as a grandfather, because that is how kind he was.

So anyway, after we were done eating and talking, we would go into their living room and turn on the television to channel 9, a New York based channel, for Saturday pro wrestling from what was filmed by Vince MacMahon, the son of the prior owner, of the original World Wrestling Federation.

The first thing I had to learn, was that pro wrestling was fake.  The second thing I had to learn was not to say that pro wrestling was fake.  Pro wrestling is definitely not fake, though it is performed.  But you really have to be in awe of some of the physical conditioning of some of the athletes and superstars, as well as the physical stunts they perform, 99% of which I would never survive (I am fairly confident I can bounce off of the ring ropes).

Unlike today’s WWE, that records their shows in major venues like stadiums and arenas, back in the day, pro wrestling used to be filmed in a “farmer’s market” section of the Allentown Fairgrounds in Pennsylvania, called Agricultural Hall.  Once or twice a month, the WWF would roll into town, and record three episodes worth of matches to be televised on Saturday mornings on syndicated cable television.  Attendance was probably the size of a basketball court, not the arena, smaller than the size of an elementary school gymnasium.

Another cool fact, the ring announce, was an elderly man by the name of Joe McHugh.  A scrawny cigar smoking man, holding the mic lowered from the rafters, wearing Mr. Magoo glasses.  He was THE announcer before Michael Buffer was ever born.  Turns out, his brother was the principal of my high school, located just blocks away from Agricultural Hall.  My connection to watching the WWF was firm.

My stepfather, did accounting work on the side for local hotels.  It just happened that some of the hotels were where many of the pro wrestlers would stay while in town.  This would lead to one of the few subjects that I could talk about with my stepfather.  I needed to know who was in town as if it would give me a clue as to potential changes of championships and such.

My interest would take a strange twist.  One night, while visiting my grandmother, I asked to watch pro wrestling on her television.  And that is the first time I learned that my grandmother was a fan.  I lived with her for nearly fifteen years, and never knew it.  She enjoyed the women wrestling and the “midget” (yes, I know not a nice term, but that was how they were referred to before we all got woke) wrestlers.  What she enjoyed was those wrestlers getting involved with the referees of the match.  Really it was quite silly to watch.

But those Saturday mornings, they were special, fun, a lot of memories.  I honestly do not recognize the majority of pro wrestlers today.  As we deal with the restrictions of Covid19 (yes I know I was not going to say that word), the WWE, which films here in Florida, films in front of an empty audience.  And it is just weird, almost as sad as watching a soap opera.  But either McMahon or the network got smart and made the decision to show older matches, and not just from 2018, but completely retro, back to when I used to watch.

Recognize this guy?  That’s right, it is The Rock, Duane Johnson, also known as Rocky Maivia.  His father was also a great pro wrestler, named Rocky Johnson.  All of a sudden I was seeing all kinds of matches back from when I thought the WWF was enjoyable, involving Shaun Michaels, The Undertaker, Brett Hart, even Hulk Hogan.

But the truth is, I go back way further than that.  After watching a documentary the other night of a career autobiography of a journalist, part of his life was focused on his personal interactions with the WWF.  And then my mind really went off the deep end in memories.  Reflecting back to those Saturday morning with my friend and his grandparents.

Yeah, this is when I thought pro wresting was good.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved watching the Undertaker and Brett Hart and all of that next generation.  But once the story lines began to involve McMahon and the owners, and making it more nepatunistic, I began to lose interest.  Today, I find it difficult to watch at all.

But for today, I am remembering those fun and simple times.  Good memories for me.  A time that I clearly took for granted and would give anything to have back.

 

Posted in Family and Friends, Food, Inspired By..., Recreation | Leave a comment
12 Jul 2020

Cancer’s Effect On The Smile


Sure, the last thing you expect to associate with the word cancer, is “smile.”  This post is not about the emotional impact on the smile of a cancer patient or survivor.  Like many of the issues medicine never prepared us survivors for way back when, was the impact that our cancer treatments could have on our teeth.  And seeing how we only have one set of our adult teeth, it is obvious we need to take care of what we have.

But we can only do so much preventative, such as flossing, brushing, and using mouthwashes with preventative care.  We can also take supplemental vitamins and make sure we eat or drink enough Vitamin D and calcium loaded drinks and food.

Radiation and high dose prednisone treatments though have a huge impact on our teeth, and our jaw bones, in strength and healing.  And it is important to know as much as possible about your individual exposure, so that your dentist or oral surgeon can make the choice that is best for you.

For me, because I have no spleen on top of everything else, there is an extra level of precaution I must take, whether for a standard cleaning, filling a cavity, or an extraction.  I typically take an antibiotic a few days before any procedure, just to make sure I do not have any stray bacteria that could cause any problems for me with an infection afterwards.

Once I get passed my initial hesitation of going to the dentist, something my dentist can attest to, is a major task.  For a while, I would have been more calm going to my cardiologist than my dentist.  No pun intended, but my dentist went above and beyond to get to the “root” of the fear.  It took her several months to alleviate my concerns, but she soon earned my trust when it came to pain management during procedures.  Most patients, if not every one, may not be aware that when you are given novacaine prior, if you still have sensation, you are able to ask for more.  I was always under the assumption, that was it.  All those years, I was given just the first dose, of a possible twelve.  She could see in my eyes, I was still having sensation, and stopped what she was doing, and asked, “can you still feel that?”  To which I answered, “yes”.  A motherly lecture followed about telling her if I needed more, and that was followed by another dose, and the procedure went on.

For the most part, that is how my simple appointments go, cleaning, exams, and cavity repairs.  It is when things get more complicated, when I hear the word “crown”, root canal, abscess… that is when things get really complicated, besides expensive.  With or without dental insurance, any of these three options are expensive, and out of my scope, not just because of money, but risk.

Because of the high dose radiation to my upper body for my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and the high dose prednisone I took as part of my chemotherapy, healing and stability are compromised when it comes to dental work.

I am lucky.  For the most part, I have done well taking care of my teeth, especially those in the front.  As for the ones in the back of my mouth, closer to the radiated neck area, it is a different story.  Since my heart surgery in 2008, also courtesy of radiation damage, I have had to lose four teeth, three to abscesses, and one to a broken tooth.  The broken tooth was going to require a crown, which I could not afford, and the abscessed teeth, were going to require root canals and crowns.  I definitely could not afford.

I needed to have them pulled.  Now of course no one wants to lose teeth, so then conversations began about other options, such as bridges and implants.  Still, both expensive options, and potentially quite harmful.  One of the potential risks I faced, was something called “osteonecrosis”, which literally means “death of bone”, and to my jaw, that is not good.  That left me no other choice, than to surrender those four chompers.  The good thing is, all are in the rear of my mouth, so only I am aware of that, and my dentist and hygienist.

Some antibiotics before and after, some gas, some novocaine, and I was good to go.  Sort of.

Again, as I have spoken before of healing issues when it comes to the bones in my body, the jaw is one of those bones.  There is going to be a huge hole in my jaw, that needs to heal, at the least have some help doing so.  My first two teeth, I went into blind not knowing about what I am writing about now.  But for my next two, and potentially any more that may come up, I needed to be aware of the risks of healing.

One option, and really the only one that gets offered, is hyperbaric treatments.  This involves breathing oxygen in a pressurized chamber.  For the average person, not a big deal, and often used to regenerate a person’s energy and health.  And in my case, it was recommended, rather, required before I could have any teeth pulled and after.  Besides the obvious expense I could not afford, because of another chemotherapy drug, Bleomycin, I am not able to go through any treatment involving oxygen.  A complicated issue that I cannot cover in this post.  But with this option off the table, I had no one able or willing to pull those two teeth.  Which means my situation risked getting way worse, if something developed with the abscesses.

Then I met an oral surgeon who offered a new type of treatment for the hole left in my jaw.  It is called “platelet rich plasma” or PRP for short.  Basically, they use your own blood, spin the hell out of it, leaving only the plasma, and inject that into the hole of the bone to enhance healing, and then stitch up the gum.  It is a bit more complicated, but this is now the new technology available, not just when it comes to any tooth work, but any kind of injury that would require another treatment impacted by my cancer and treatment past.  And because it will not involve any further cosmetic option, it is also less costly.

More importantly, it works.  So far, 2 for 2.  The oral surgeon not only understands my past, but respects my knowledge of what I have gone through, and that helps him to do what is right for me.  Of course I hope I am done, but the realist in me knows I am likely to have more that will come out.  But at least I know I have a good option.  And I am still able to keep that smile.

 

Posted in Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
02 Jul 2020

The Power Of The Living Directive


There are two things that make us squirm to talk about, death, and how to prepare should something go wrong during an illness or injury.  We go through life assuming, or perhaps just wanting to ignore the realities, because, “that kind of talk is for old people.”  I know that is the way that I thought, even having gone through cancer.  I was immortal, or at least for as long as I could tell, for decades to come.

That thinking changed obviously in 2008 with my heart surgery, and the realization that it was likely I would face many other challenges to my health.  I could no longer make it about my age for my reason to put off the discussion of preparations.  I got lucky the doctors saved my life while I was in the grips of a silent killer, a “widow maker” cardiac event.

For the sakes of my children, I needed to not only have a will for if I died, but a living directive if something would go wrong with any procedure or any kind of event.  Time was not going to wait for me to get old.  For me, it was fairly simple.  I made it very clear, no artificial means to keep me alive, and not to let me be in pain.  I have had to make some changes in both will and living directive following my divorce, but I have kept everything pretty much the same.  I am not a complicated individual.

For others, this may not be the case.  When my father was in the process of being diagnosed with lung cancer, he made the decision to make me his medical proxy.  He did it for two reasons.  One, my extensive history and experience with medicine (in spite of not being a doctor), he knew I would be able to explain things to him clearly, as well as help him to express what he needed to have explained.  The other, having watched both of his parents suffer in their ends, he believed in me, that I would not let the same thing happen to him.

This came at a personal cost for me, because, being in that position, I could not allow myself to feel any emotions that might jeopardize anything my father wanted to happen, or not happen.  This loss of emotion admittedly makes me realize I can have quite a cold personality in situations like this, almost robotic.  But when my father was in his best mind, he made it clear to me, what he wanted, and what he did not want to happen.

If you are hospitalized, or having to go through any medical challenge like cancer, you are likely to face these life and quality of life decisions.  As I said, I have things in place.  But recently, I came across some information, once provided to me years ago, called “Five Wishes.”

This pamphlet is a very well thought out document, to help plan out the “what if” so that there is no mistaking what a person’s wishes are.  I know my personal physician has disagreed with my directive in that I have made it too simple, too black and white.  But it is how I feel.  Don’t get me wrong, I do not plan to be in that situation anytime soon.

Five Wishes is a form of living will that talks about your personal, emotional, spiritual, and medical needs.  The one thing that this form makes the author aware of, is that there are still some states that will not recognize the document or your wishes.  That is a big deal.

The first thing necessary to do, is like my father chose, someone to make decisions in the event he was not able to do.  This is a big deal because that representative has to put all personal biases and beliefs aside to respect the wishes of the patient, no matter who it is.  And that is a big deal, it does not have to be a family member either, as family members, not me in my dad’s case, can be too emotional when it comes to decisions.

I will tell you, the hardest part for me to get family and others to understand, was when the time came, to stop giving him access to certain maintenance medications (like for cholesterol, etc.).  Because legal decisions had to be made in his care, handled by my stepbrother, insurance changes to allow my father and stepmother to be in the same care facility, and the fact that he was going to die, made these medications unnecessary.  But other challenges would come if a serious illness like pneumonia were to develop or some other issue.  It was difficult for others to understand, there would be no treatment, to prolong his inevitable passing.  A simple concept, not to allow him to recover from one illness, to eventually suffer as the cancer spread causing more pain than what could have spared him.

There are a lot of other responsibilities that this advocate must take on.  Keeping the emotions in check is not only necessary, but unavoidable because of all of the responsibilities.

You should decide what efforts or treatments are done to keep you alive.  This is where my doctor and I sort of disagree.  The two most common terms you quickly become familiar with are DNR (do not resuscitate) or being put on life support.

With Covid19, this becomes a very difficult reality for me.  I have made it clear, I do not want to be kept alive on life support mechanisms.  But if I were to contract this virus, because of my frailties, there is more than a good chance I would end up on just that because of what the virus does to the lungs, which mine are compromised.  It then becomes a choice if the life support is used to save my life, versus sustain it.  But my directive says what it does.  Therefore, I need to avoid this virus at all costs.  Needless to say, a fatal end caused by this virus, your five wishes mean nothing.

Two other aspects or wishes pertain to the humane aspects of this directive, comfort or quality of life, and what is expected from others, especially loved ones.  From medicines to control pain, to location of where the passing might occur, and the overall atmosphere of those around the ill person.

The final wish deals with the patient themself, and what they want their loved ones, family, friends, and in most cases, their caregivers to know.  These can be kind words, actual gifts, perhaps asking for personal differences to be resolved before passing, and of course, post end of life plans.

No, this part of life is not easy to talk about, let alone go through.  And there is no minimum age that is required.  Though definitely as you get longer in the tooth, it definitely becomes a priority.

Posted in Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment

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