Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Education”

07 Nov 2022

Helping With Homework, The Next Level


It is an understatement to say that I enjoyed homework with my daughters. Heck, at times, I even learned a few new things, which is an automatic with “new” math, every parent learns something new with that. As much as I enjoyed helping both of them, I enjoyed watching them help each other more, especially being older, for them to be able to help each other with their strengths. By being involved with their education, I see the things my daughters have been taught, and I know what they are not being taught.

One subject that they are both good at, at least by their resulting grades, is history and government. I have always felt it is important to learn everything, good or bad, about what our country has gone through, or is currently going through. I do not believe that if there is something that I do not know, or do not believe occurred, that to teach my children those things I do not grasp or understand, is not indoctrinating my children. And it is important to understand that position I take.

The term “indoctrinate” is a political buzzword, helpful only in political campaigns. Indoctrinate is defined by Merriam-Webster as “teaching to fully accept only the ideas and opinions and beliefs of a particular group.” Does this sound familiar? Of course it does, it is exactly how our two party political system functions and today, these beliefs have led to a higher level of tribalism, or being loyal to those sharing those beliefs.

In any case, I do not want this post to be focused on tribalism and political controversies. This post is about the newer levels I am involved in, not only to help my daughters with their schoolwork, but to make sure that they are learning accurately.

During a recent visit with my daughters, we were out eating dinner, and as often happens while we are waiting for our food, homework assistance comes up for my younger daughter, the topic? Constitutional amendments. We are going over each one, by memory, both of us, while the information is fresh for her, our constitutional rights were occasionally a refresher for me. Our waitress came by our table, overheard our discussion, and then offered a compliment to us. “It’s nice to see a parent teaching their kids about the constitution.” I offered her in return, a “thank you, just doing what I have always done with my daughters.”

In reality, my contribution to my daughters’ educations, is complimentary, as the base of their knowledge of government and politics is built in school, or at least it should be. I must say, after watching school board meetings for the last two years, and hearing politicians spew false claims about what children are taught in school, it now falls on the parents to make sure children learn the truth of our nation’s history, what really happened.

Once our discussion finished on constitutional amendments, the attention turned to the upcoming mid term election tomorrow. My older daughter is going to vote tomorrow for her second time, her first time eligible was for the primary this past Spring. As a young adult, she has learned just how important her vote means, enough so, that she changed her voting address, so that she can vote while she is away at college. And she did this on her own to my surprise. I was going to help her just follow through the mail-in ballot process, like many other college students.

But making sure she was properly registered and able to vote, I reminded her the importance of learning that issues are more important than party. Each party wants voters of their respective parties to just hit the “straight ticket” button, regardless if you know anything about all of the candidates and what they stand for. This kind of voter has no idea if they are voting for a candidate who is against a personal issue to that voter or not, and that could result in a bad choice.

The economy and inflation are major concerns. But in reality, who cares besides the voter? Certainly not the politician, because no matter who wins, or has been in office, as long as lobbyists are in control, we are never going to have inflation under control. Corporate profits are responsible for 50+% of inflation right now. That’s PROFIT! at our expense. And it shows no signs of waning. Think the Republicans are concerned? Of course not. They are contemplating all of the punitive things they plan to do if their candidates get elected, none of those priorities involve the economy or inflation. Democrats do not get off on this topic either. They have their own agenda that they are looking at, and the economy is not their top project either.

That is why, I have told my daughter, she has to vote on the issues that personally affect her. Our leaders position on the economy and inflation are not going to be resolved with her vote. But issues such as reproductive rights, privacy when it comes to medical records, race and sex discrimination, and of course health issues concerning pre-existing conditions, all have the potential to be impacted over the next two years depending on who you elect. The overturning of Roe v Wade, while some want the sole focus to be on one aspect only of abortion, the ramifications and impacts on all of us are beginning to be felt regardless of which body parts we have. The question is, who does my daughter feel, will protect her rights, the same rights her parents and her grandparents have had, well, until this past year, and will she be a voter who will allow our country to go backwards in privacy and the belief that all are created equal.

Tomorrow is election day. And no matter how you chose or choose to vote, early voting, mail-in ballots, drop boxes, or in person, they are all legal methods an no one, NO ONE has the right to bully you or say your voting method is not valid. You have a right not to be intimidated at the poll by anyone claiming to be a “poll watcher,” other than those legitimate poll watchers actually doing their sworn jobs. If you feel your voting right is being infringed up, call the authorities, but make sure that you vote. And if you run into a situation, where you are prevented from casting your ballot, especially over a signature issue, ASK FOR A PROVISIONAL BALLOT! Make your vote count. And for Pete’s sake, give the election workers a break. Most are volunteers doing not only their civic duty, but something they feel a certain pride in being a part of.

And finally, if your candidates win? Accept it and move on. If your candidates lose? Accept it and move on. That is the way a democracy works.

Posted in Adoption, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By... | Leave a comment
03 Nov 2022

With How Many Times I Have Been “Lucky”…


If you have entered a convenience store to pre-pay for gasoline, or approached customer service at your local grocery store over the past two days, you undoubtedly have been stuck in a ridiculously long line, waiting for your task that was only supposed to take less than five minutes when you left your house. Welcome to Powerball mania.

In full disclosure, I think I have only played an actual lottery maybe once in my forty years of adulthood. Yeah yeah yeah, “you can’t win if you don’t play” is the war cry I always heard at work. My co-workers frequently pooled money together to buy a larger number of tickets to increase their impossible odds of winning even $5. But here we are again. Last night’s drawing was estimated to be $1.2 billion dollars. That’s right, $1.2 billion dollars. Alas, no one won. On to Saturday’s drawing for the Powerball, jackpot estimated to be $1.5 billion dollars.

It is either the way that I was raised, combined with the way that I lived my life fiscally, that I am truly uncomfortable with being the “fool whose money end soon parted.” I honestly have higher priorities, than throwing good money after ba… I mean good money after none.

I get it. I understand the excitement when someone actually wins a scratch off ticket, or a televised lottery drawing. I have known a few people who have won anything from a few hundred dollars to a couple of thousand dollars, but nothing large enough to pull a “Johnny Paycheck” able to tell their boss to “take this job and shove it.”

There are likely two types of lottery players. You have those that play constantly, and consistently, whether it be with daily drawings or scratch off tickets. Astoundingly, it is not uncommon for me to be standing behind someone, who will purchase anywhere between $25 to $100 worth of chance, without the blink of an eye.

But then you have the other type, the opportunist, the “I feel lucky this time” player. This person may not buy scratch off tickets, but when a particular lottery drawing hits a certain jackpot level, that is when this person decides to join in the fun. Probably about two weeks ago, as the jackpot neared a half billion dollars, this person would walk down, and nonchalantly lay down a $20 for the Powerball drawing, not really believing they have a chance, but “what the Hell? Why not?” No one wins, and the jackpot increases, but so does the belief of the purchaser, their chances of winning have increased, resulting in a larger purchase of drawing tickets, as much as $50 this trip.

Tuesday evening, as I was standing in a customer service line, to resolve a two minute issue, I saw hundred dollar bills being placed on the counter in exchange for more chances at the billion dollar jackpot. Sure, nothing is impossible, but putting down $100 for 100 tickets, does not do much to increase the chances of wining something with 1 in a 292,000,000 chance of picking all the right numbers and power ball.

I have never gotten caught up in this mania. I just cannot rationalize taking money, and getting nothing in return. I am not just like this with the lottery, but gambling in general. I have been to casinos a few times in my life. Often times, I just walk by everything. On occasion, I have walked by a card table, and “felt” something (could have been the subliminal tugging on my wallet), and would sit down to play. I would put $20 down (I only played the $5 dollar tables). I would play four hands minimum, until the $20 was gone (losing all 4 hands), or if doubling my money setting my original $20 aside, playing one more hand. If I lost, I would leave with $35. If I won, I would guarantee leaving with $40, continuing to play off that $5. I would not normally play longer than a half an hour. In contrast, I had been involved with someone who held the belief, that even if they hit a jackpot on the slots, and it did happen at least once, there was an intent to put it all back in the machine, because “it was all about the fun.”

“A fool and their money…”

When it comes to luck, I have experienced my share of it, both good and bad. I do not dwell on the bad luck events of my life, but use those as springboards to recover and rebuild. In 1990, I defeated Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and since 2008 I have faced six other health issues that could have ended tragically, not to mention, just barely escaping a head-on car collision turning at the last second.

Nope, if I am going to use my luck anywhere, I have had it at the right time. I respect “my luck.”

I do not begrudge anyone who does play, of course, depending on the state the lottery is from, proceeds can benefit anything or anyone from seniors to education. So, lotteries can be a good thing. And someone, will eventually win. The question that will have to be decided at that point, is how to collect. With the option of having to wait over time to collect the estimated $1.5 billion dollars over many years, or just take the very reduced lump sum amount, which is clearly enough for someone to live on, the decision is not an easy one. How much money is enough?

If I could spare any luck at this point, I would throw some towards the Philadelphia Phillies, a team seemingly set on destiny, to wrap up the World Series Saturday night. Others, will be watching for the Power Ball drawing at 11pm.

Good luck to all.

Posted in Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Recreation | Leave a comment
25 Oct 2022
2 Comments

Hands Up. I Can’t.


If you have ever flown, you are familiar with going through full body scanners. There are plenty of jokes made about what can be seen as you go through the scanner, but nothing that lets you see “intimate” body images. That being said, a “shape” does appear on the “human shape” ( a picture of a body, not my own), on the screen in the area of the middle of my chest. That shape is my artificial heart valve, which does contain metal. I also have a stent with my heart, and also my carotid artery. And I have plenty of metal clips in my chest cavity. Long story short, I am going to get extra attention when I exit the scanner. I have a card in my wallet that makes reference to the “hardware” inside my body, necessary to keep me alive, but I will still usually require a passing of the metal detector wand, and hand swab. Whatever, I am not worried.

The problem I do have with the process, is that I cannot raise my hands above my head and shoulders, as high as TSA would like me to. I can extend my arms outward which would give them a similar view as far as I am concerned. But going higher, is not possible. Related to my treatments for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma back in 1988, I received a large amount of radiation therapy. The damage that has developed progressively over the decades is diagnosed as “radiation fibrosis syndrome.”

Dr. Michael Stubblefield is a pioneer in the study of this condition, and one of my former physicians who I actually saw for this condition. The key word to focus on, is “sclerosis”. Typically you would hear this in reference to the cardiac system, as in a hardening of the arteries or valves. Well, if you apply that the the muscles in your body, it is the same thing, a hardening of the muscle fibers. This issue will also result in muscle loss and atrophy, something you are not likely to notice necessarily when it comes to the upper body, unless someone has their shirt off. Then you can clearly notice the damage without even having a medical degree.

In another one of Dr. Stubblefield’s slides, and to be clear, none of these images are me, I can tell you, that without my shirt on, my physique is very much like the image on the right. In the other two images, you can also see a “chicken wing” like appearance with the shoulders that I also have, preventing me from having two well rounded shoulders, just flat shoulder blades. With my shirt on, look at me from behind, you might be able to notice one of my shoulders actually does hang lower than the other shoulder. There is also a condition many of us have to deal with, and I currently have mine under fair control, is something referred to as “drooping head syndrome,” appropriately named because it looks exactly like it is called. This is caused by muscle loss in the neck, as the image in the right photo demonstrates. Many of us have heard fellow survivors referred to as “pencil necks” depending on the severity of muscle loss in the neck.

Getting back to airport security, this radiation fibrosis, hardening of my shoulder muscles that are left, prevent me from raising my arms above my shoulders. More times than not, after I get out one of the quickest medical explanations, “I can’t, I have radiation damage from cancer treatments,” most will let me go through as is. Every now and then, there will be someone in TSA who will have an attitude, and make me go through the old metal detector instead. I do not let it bother me, because while some very cool images will show up on my picture, someone else going through might have something nefarious hidden on their person that needs to be caught.

Forcing my arms, as in someone lifting them for me, would tear my shoulders apart. In fact, my doctor was so concerned with injury to my shoulders, that he even advised me against participating in karate with my daughters, even if slow and low impact, modified for my protection, for fear of injuring either or both of my shoulders. As you can tell, I felt I needed to prove my doctor wrong, although admittedly, I did stop following my first belt promotion, a matter of just being able to say that “I did it.”

At work, some of my job descriptions involved reaching above my shoulders, and repetitive motions with my arms. As my condition got worse, it required my doctors to issue health restrictions, which under the Americans With Disabilities Act, required my employer to not only accept those restrictions, but retain my employment, finding other work to complete within those restrictions. Seriously, the ADA exists for peoples’ protection. Learn the law.

Over the decades, I have slowly lost my ability to make my upper body work for me. I cannot do pushups or pullups. I cannot reach for some things in my cabinets without a step stool. Nearly every sport I used to enjoy, volleyball, softball, bowling, are done, my arms unable to perform the functions necessary to participate. The last thing I remember being able to do, and this was more than fifteen years ago, was hoisting my daughters above my head, to carry them on my shoulders.

If there is anything, anything that I truly miss having lost this mobility, it has been to be able to hold my daughters this way ever again (yes, I know they are both much older now, but someday I hope to be a grandfather, and this old perch will never be sat upon like that again.).

Looks can be deceiving. You know what I mean. This shell that we have, hides what is being dealt with inside. Do you know the story of anyone using a handicap spot in a parking lot? What happens when the person looks totally normal, or climbs out of a vehicle that no one with any kind of handicap should be able to do? There are a lot of internal things that you cannot see, functional things as simple as someone struggling for air, due to heart disease or reduced lung capacity. Perhaps as is often the case, some do not want to burden others with a load of pity or empathy for those of us that have limits. People are much happier, and comfortable, when they do not have to think of some of the difficult things that we deal with. That does not change the fact that we still do have to deal with those things.

Posted in Cancer, Education, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart

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