A couple of weeks ago, I shared this photo of a badly worn flag I passed on one of my walks around the time of Memorial Day, the time we memorialize our fallen military members. I have been away on a couple of trips over the last week and a half, and come back to find this…
There is a new “old Glory” now flying proudly, and now you can see the flag underneath it, representing the US Army. Look closely at the picture as you can even see the folds that remain from its packaging. But she is not being correctly and proudly shown.
Well, sort of. There is still the issue of her being flown in the dark without any lighting shining on her, or, that she is not water proof and therefore should not be hung in the rain. But hey, the main thing is, she is whole, she is neat, and flies now without being tattered.
And no, I cannot take credit for the person replacing the flag, nor do I know how the old flag was disposed of. But the situation was timed perfectly with the holidays of Memorial Day and Flag Day, to remind us just how important it is to treat the American Flag with the respect she deserves, understand her history, and know and accept what should and should not be done with her.
I have a busy weekend ahead of me. My daughters are coming to visit me for our annual Father’s Day week. Tomorrow marks twenty-six years since I lost one of the most influencial people in my life, my grandmother, a two-time cancer survivor. I do not forget this day, because this date shares the same date as Flag Day, which falls tomorrow.
I took this photo on one of my walks, and was completely saddened by it. I saw it a couple of weeks ago, during of all weekends, Memorial Day weekend. Clearly, this flag should have been replaced. Ironically, it was being flown by someone who should have known better, a military veteran (the branch flag is flying behind it). But clearly, this flag should have been retired long ago as the condition clearly shows how tattered and worn it had become.
I have a lot of experience when it comes to our nation’s symbol. As a kid, I participated in Boy Scouts, where I learned the proper care for the flag, including how to fold and display the flag. On of my first papers I ever wrote, over forty-five years ago, was on Flag Day itself. Not to brag, but I got an “A” on it.
So with so much attention on the flag over recent years, and how I definitely feel it is being misused, misunderstood, and disrespected, I figured I would revisit my report, and perhaps make the report more current to remind everyone just how important our flag really is. Of course, I have a bit more writing experience under my belt since then.
The Flag
(photo courtesy of Wikipedia)
Most are not aware as there was a flag before the flag with the circle of thirteen stars. It was the “grand union” flag, the unofficial flag flown during the American revolution. Then in 1777 came the flag that most of us are familiar with, created by Betsy Ross, thirteen stripes alternating red and white, and thirteen stars arranged in a circle on a field of blue “representing a new constellation” (Britanica).
As states would join the union requiring more stars to be added to each version of the national flag, the formation of the stars would change to rows of stars until the 50th state had been added to present “old glory” as it is flown today.
(picture courtesy of Google pics)
So there is the history of the flag.
Care And Display Of The American Flag
Per U.S. Code, the flag should always fly “aloft and free.” The flag should never touch anything below it such as the ground, water, floor, or any kind of objects just sitting there. The flag must not be “dipped” to any person or thing (as in a nod to someone or something). It does not get flown upside down, unless a case of an emergency or signal of distress. Recent incidents of the flag being flown upside down do not meet that standard and therefore is disrespecting the flag.
If you are a flag purist like I am, retail is not going to like this part. The flag should never be used as apparel or as bedding, you know, like those swim trunks soaking up crotch sweat and other merchandise. The flag should not be used for advertisement purposes, in particular, being placed on anything that will be thrown out in the garbage afterwards. The flag should NEVER have any words written on it, nor should any artistic liberty be taken with the flag, you know, like combining the flag with another flag into one, changing the colors to represent a particular cause like sports teams using the colors replacing the red, white, and blue. It is completely unacceptable to merge the American flag with a flag as vile as the confederate flag, into one flag. No matter the cause, “thin blue line”, Black Lives Matter, whatever, simple put, get your own flag and leave the red, white, and blue alone. The flag should never be used as a costume or used to carry anything.
It is important to keep the flag dry, clean, and protected from danger such as harsh weather or other perils.
Now, what to do about that poor and tattered flag that I passed. I am sure the veteran flying that flag should know what to do. But here is how to properly dispose of a flag, no longer fit to be flying.
Proper Disposal Of The Tattered And Worn American Flag
The U.S. Flag Code says, “The Flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.” When an American Flag is worn beyond repair, it should be retired in a respectful manner.
It is common and dignified to burn the flag no longer considered to be flown in some sort of ceremony (per local burn ordinances of course). The Pledge of Allegiance and moments of silence are often spoken. The flag must be completely burned to ashes, then buried.
Veteran organization like the VFW (Veterans Of Foreign Wars) and American Legion will often take unflyable flags to properly dispose of them.
So there you have it, the proper way to treat, care for, and display the American Flag. If yours is worn, you still have time to get a replacement to fly, as you should. And if you truly want to show respect for the flag, treat her right. Fly her freely and aloft, nothing else.
Over my 34 years of cancer survivorship, I have come across hundreds of fellow cancer survivors, especially those who battled Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, just as I did. I have gotten to meet them over social media or has often been the case, in person. And just like snow, and no snowflake being identical to another, the same can be said for us Hodgkin’s survivors. And just like a snowstorm, survivors interacting with other survivors, just like snowflakes combining to make something wonderful to experience (usually anyway), each of our differences make our interactions with each other, often a wonderful and at times, a life-changing experience.
This was Jennifer and her picture has been shared by so many who knew her. Because those who were able to know her, found this photo the best way to describe Jennifer without any words necessary.
Like many of the other survivors I connect with, Jennifer and I shared a lot of similarities from the close proximity of our ages at diagnosis (I was actually two years older than she was) with her being diagnosed two years before me. However, similarities between us would end, as she would have to battle Hodgkin’s multiple times, end up battling another cancer just a few years ago. And then of course, she had to deal with multiple late side effects from her treatments, similar to those that you have read me describe in other posts. In fact, just one other connection, she had her first heart surgery five years ago, on my birthday I just discovered.
Through all of her medical struggles, and this is what everyone who knew Jennifer will say about her, she was one of the most selfless people you could ever know. During any one of her health crises, Jennifer was always looking out for other fellow survivors in need of support, encouragement, or even just a “check-in” to see how someone was doing, all the while managing her own needs. And I mean, she did this all of the time. That is, until recently.
Jennifer had faced some additional health issues that finally left her unable to reach out, to offer solace and encouragement. For the first time in her life, all of her energy needed to be focused on herself and it was our turn, to throw all the support and encouragement we could in her direction.
Those of us who were treated for Hodgkin’s decades ago were treated with such harsh and toxic treatments, while no longer used today, left us dealing with devastating side effects for our bodies to deal with. And as is often the case, the body can only take so much trauma. But honestly, in spite of what Jennifer had gone through, unless she knew differently, there was never any indication that her mortality was near. She had so much fight in her. And though any further communication between us, basically involved me just writing to her, knowing that she would be too tired or perhaps for other reasons, unable to write back. But she would at least see the support I was offering her.
In fact, just around the end of March, we actually exchanged text messages about her latest health challenges, which mirrored one of my health issues, dealing with sepsis. It seemed like she was finally turning a corner on her way to finally overcoming such a challenging period with her health. But more communications would come through one of our other survivors (one of us often acts as a liaison so as not to bog down family members) that Jennifer would have more challenges, I don’t think any one of us would have ever thought this would happen to Jennifer, of all survivors.
And it is so clear the impact that Jennifer had on so many of us. Her picture, the same one as this post, placed on their pages with their tributes to Jennifer, everyone sharing what Jennifer meant to each and every one of us. It is easy to get lost with all the words from us survivors, that Jennifer was much much more than just a cancer survivor. She was a loving wife, mother, grandmother, and loved her animals. It was only form her obituary, I learned of her work in law firms and as a teacher’s assistant.
As for her advocacy for herself and for her fellow survivors, her efforts, in parallel while she battled her own health emergencies, often made every effort possible, to teach anyone who was charged with her care, the extra attention necessary for Hodgkin’s survivors with our late side effects.
For all the good that Jennifer did, and for her never ending smiles, it is not lost, that in spite of her decades of survival, she would pass away at the age of 56, her body simply unable to take any more trauma. And speaking only for me, though I am sure others feel similar, Jennifer, like most of my fellow survivors who have passed, was younger than me. And as it often happens, in spite of all the surveillance I undergo for my late side effects, it cannot be helped to wonder how much more my body will take, and what if anything would be the catalyst.
Again, like many of my fellow survivors, we were all set and excited to get a chance to meet Jennifer in person in just a couple of weeks, hoping that her health had turned for the better. Sadly, it had not.
For me personally, I will miss Jennifer’s never ending support and encouragement that she offered me over the years with my health and the wonderful support she gave to me as a father for my daughters. And her smile, just like her picture, it just never ended. Even now, all who knew Jennifer, will always remember that smile, and her spirit will still be there for each of us.
On a final note, there are many “younger” or “newer” survivors who may see this tribute and all of a sudden develop an anxiety of futility, as in “does this mean my cancer is only the beginning?” No. As I mentioned, and Jennifer would be the first to agree, the treatments used today, while still difficult and toxic, are not as harsh as they were decades ago, and surveillance is better following the treatments. But it is the follow up care that survivors like Jennifer, myself and so many others have tried to bring awareness to, the body has gone through so much, and even if just through a primary care doctor, survivors need to be watched just in case, and it is not definite that any will, but just in case an issue should develop, it is better to be on top of it, discovered early, before it gets too bad to do anything about. Again, it does not mean that anything will develop, you just want to be ahead of it.
I am certain Jennifer would agree with me on that.
Paul's Heart 