Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Cancer”

Hard For The Holidays


It is officially time for me to turn off the “anti” Christmas sentiment as Thanksgiving has passed.  I have always resisted and pretty much objected to not being allowed to celebrate Halloween and Thanksgiving without being overlapped by Christmas sale propaganda.  I have not always been this way.  But I have to go back to my childhood to remember when I embraced Christmas.  But my childhood is also when it began.

It was the year of my seventh grade, I was thirteen years old.  And of course, during the Christmas holidays.  Three relatives had passed away between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day.  That was the first year that I was not able to enjoy everything that I had received.

And then in 1988, just prior to Thanksgiving, I was diagnosed with cancer, Hodgkin’s Disease.  Admittedly, I was a “seasonal” Christian meaning that I went to church at least on Easter and Christmas Eve.  I still approached my minister as I chose that particular moment to recognize God.  And just as Job did, I questioned why, when for the first time I appeared to have turned my life around, everything going right for me, I would have it all brought crashing down.  Even two years later, as I was finally able to breath as I had been pronounced in remission, the scars had developed.  Over the next decade, things would get much worse as it seemed every crisis, whether it resulted in someone passing away or not, occurred around one of the big two holidays.

*  my stepmother, crossing the street, hit by a car, two days before Christmas

*  my former father-in-law being misdiagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease being kept in a nursing home drugged up on psychotropic drugs instead of realizing it was his regular meds that were causing the mental issues as his vitals were not being followed properly

*  my ex-wife (then still married to her) was hit head on in a car accident just after a New Year’s Day

*  Wendy was experiencing a severe bleeding issue that brought on other concerns right before an Easter holiday

*  my heart surgery was done just after an Easter Holiday

*  I was diagnosed Septic just before this past Easter

This list is more than three times longer.  But you get the general idea.  An approaching holiday to me, means most likely another crisis/tragedy for me to deal with.

This thought process, though in full swing though, has been shaken at least a little bit beginning in 2004 with the adoption of our oldest daugther.  The issues and events still occur, as I have come to expect, but I do my best now to not let these things interfere with my daughters’ enthusiasm.  Tonight, as we are walking through the Christmas Tree Shoppe, Madison came right out and asked me, “Daddy, why don’t you like Christmas?”  I love my daughters more than anything on this Earth and the last thing I would ever want to do is take their innocence away, especially when it comes to Christmas and Easter.

And even though every holiday comes and goes, and their smiles are endless as they spot their gifts under the tree, or see that the Easter bunny had delivered them baskets, at least my oldest has noticed that there is a grown up aspect to the holidays.  I have so much work to do to make sure that they do not grow up to believe about the holidays as I have grown accustomed to.

The Lesser Of The Two Evils


You can tell a decision that one does not want to make, when it is looked at as a decision between “the less of the two evils”.  This kinf of outlook is often given to political races as it is nearly impossible to find a candidate for a postition that meets 100% of your values.

Today is not a very good day for me health wise.  My back is acting up, and fatigue is kicking the crap out of me.  I knew this day would come.  I had a bone density scan last week and got the call Friday with the results.  As expected, my back has gotten worse, with my 9th vertebrae now suffering with osteopenia.  This is a change from the scan done four years ago, where osteopenia was diagnosed in L1-L4.  Last year my back also showed facet joint arthritis, perhaps the reason for the pain and shape.

Osteopenia is like the little sister to osteoperosis, bad enough to be called something, not bad enough to be called osteoperosis.  Osteopenia is still loss of bone density.  Translation, it is an increased chance of breaking a bone, especially in my hip, back, or legs.  From what I understand, the pain in my back does not come from the osteopenia, but rather facet joint arthritis which I am now just starting to read up on.

So, when you hear the word osteo, just like mentioning breast cancer, our assumptions go straight to a concern for women.  The truth is, men can develop both of these diseases.  In my case, there is a good likelihood that I could develop both due to cancer treatments.  The radiation therapy has increased my chances with breast cancer, and hi dose, extended use of prednisone is most likely the factor to the already diagnosed osteopenia.  So while treatments have their positive intended effects, there are side effects both short term and long term.  Now that I have a new diagnosis, that must be treated.

But the medication that I need to take, at the beginning level will only be equivalent to vitamin supplements.  Of course, that is possibly going to have side effects as I continue to alter the physiology of my body.  In this case, the two supplements, Vitamin D and OSCAL were to help boost calcium needed for bone support which I was now needing.  There is one major drawback with taking on all this calcium, kidney stones.  I’ve already told that story (see “Congratulations It’s A…” under the links at the top of the page), so this is going to be about the aftermath.

The hospital that helped me get rid of that pesky stone, screwed up, and did not test the remnants leaving it up to me to figure out what could have caused the stone.  All things considered, I blamed the supplements.  My dilemma?  I need to take those supplements to keep from being crippled by an increased chance of broken bones, but if I do, I can look forward to many more kidney stones.  To avoid the kidney stones,  I could end up incredibly hurt.

So following the release of my urologist, so too I made the decision.  There would be no more kidney stones.  I had to hope that my decision would be correct and there would be no further issue with my bones.  But a bone density scan to be compared with a scan done four years ago illustrate that I was wrong.  The osteopenia has continue to spread and worsen over recent years with the cessation of those supplements.  While I have not had any more kidney stones, it is clear what my doctor forewarned me, “it can be five years or twenty years.  It is a matter of your choices and how fast it progresses.”

This is not the first medical dilemma I have been caught in the middle of:

1)  treat and survive my cancer vs. potentially severe late effects even worse

2)  removal of spleen which was fully involved with my cancer vs. immune system permanently compromised with little certainty of protection

3)  carotid bypass due to conditions of carotids, risk of causing a stroke same as just allowing it to happen

4)  take calcium supplements to slow process of crippling or prevent the crippling pain of kidney stones

5)  to have a colonoscopy because it is my time vs. exposing an area of my body that has yet to be invaded and in 46 years, have not had an issue with.

The choice between the lesser of the two evils.  I have many more to make, some just as serious, and some a little on the lighter side.  But when it is looked at a between two choices we do not want to have, clearly it is something I would rather avoid all together.

Side effects of medications are perhaps the most confusing things we have to decide to follow through with.  Just watch a television commercial for a new drug and to cover the company’s ass you hear the following disclaimer, “may cause suicidal tendancies, high blood pressure, kidney failure, depression, stomach ulcers, and memory issues.”  But other than that, it is great.  You will not see me rush to the pharmacy counter I can tell you that.

Med-Alert Bracelet


Just how important is the Med-Alert bracelets, bling that is meant to save your life?  I bought one four years ago, and of course its condition looks like I have had it that long.  I am not known for wearing bracelets or watches.  I really do not like anything around my wrist.  However, my investment of a little over $30 has already been counted on once.

A Med-Alert is a tag that can be worn on your wrist as a bracelet, or around your neck as a necklace.  Paramedics are trained to look for these identification tags as patients know this is the only way that they can communicate if unconcious.  My particular tag only measures about a half inch wide by an inch and a half long.

On the front side it shows my name, identifies three main medical issues with me, treatments I was exposed to and when, and then refer to the back side of the tag.  On the reverse side, it lists two of the main doctors I deal with, orders to call them immediately, and also a note to refer to my wallet for additional information.

My wallet contains two laminated information cards.  The first card lists all the things that my body has been through, or put through, a miniature medical file of diseases, wounds, treatments, etc.  It is amazing and overwhelming at the same time to see the abreviated version of my health history.  The second card deals with fevers and infections.  There is a special protocol that needs to be followed for me being asplenic (no spleen).  Actually it should be applied to anyone without a spleen.  A cocktail of antibiotics are to be started IV assuming I have an infection if I report to have a fever.  In the meantime, blood cultures need to be done immediately (to see what the infection might be) which is why they antibiotics need to be started right away, as cultures take time to grow.  A case of sepsis has close to an 80% chance of mortality after 24 hours of devloping.  There is no time to wait for test results.

My bracelet is pretty well scratched up as it has never left my wrist.  So it has been bumped and scratched, but it is still able to do the job it needs.  This past March, my personal system was put into play as Wendy called for an ambulance at 4am.  The EMT’s noticed that I had the bracelet, read the bracelet, and then asked Wendy about my wallet with the information cards.  Without me being able to speak, the EMT’s now knew my medical history and the extra care I would need.

Days later, I was told that my blood levels were so high for sepsis, that I had to be septic for at least 24 hours prior.  So I was already at risk.  Delays definitely would not have been in my favor.  The doctor was able to order care stat, that is medical lingo for “now”.

In this particular case, I believe my bracelet saved my life, and there is a good chance it will be needed again.  But there are so many others who would benefit from alerting an unsuspecting EMT:  diabetics, cancer history, high blood pressure, etc., any kind of condition that could affect emergency care with you not being able to communicate is crucial.

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