Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Cancer”

A Survivor To Be Proud Of – An Example For All


Today is a great day for a young man named Michael.  From the day he was born, neither he, nor his parents, nor his sibling ever thought in their wildest dreams that today, August 27th, 2013 would be such an important day.  Today Michael and his family got to hear a word that was unknown to them in meaning and value before today, “remission.”  Today Michael was told by his doctor officially by his doctors, that his Hodgkin’s Lymphoma was now in remission.

Michael did not volunteer for this journey.  As a young adult, I am certain that he had other plans for his future, such as continuing his education, which he now will have the opportunity to pursue should he choose to do so.  From the time that I have known of Michael, I have never heard or seen anything less than a child facing a horrible disease with bravery, determination, and endurance.

His battle with Hodgkin’s has left him with some visible scars that will eventually fade from our memory, hair loss, weight loss, and some side effects that we cannot see such as a challenged immune system.  Not once did I ever hear of Michael complain about what he was going through, only that he would get through this.

Just one of a parent’s nightmares is to be told that her child has cancer.  Yet his mother never, ever had anything less than hope for her son.  Every day she cared for her son, took Michael to his appointments, comforted him when he did not feel his strongest, gave him nourishment and medicine when he needed strength.  What I saw in this mother’s heart was a complete sacrifice of herself to care for her only son, selflessly and without condition.

In all my years of talking with cancer patients and survivors, I normally do not get emotionally attached to anyone.  As with so many our professional caregivers, we cannot afford to.  Unfortunately not every story has a happy ending.  But this one does. For the first time in over two decades, I took a special interest in Michael, and no one could be more proud of him than me.  Just a little over a month ago, I heard that Michael had already been referring to himself as a survivor.  Michael, you are the truest definition of a survivor.  You have definitely earned the right to be called a survivor.

It is a safe bet that this family will sleep very well tonight.  They have been through so much and have finally come to the end of the road and dealing with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

And Michael, if you are reading this, this is for you my young friend…

“As I continue down the road of remission, I will keep looking in my rear view mirror to make sure that you are still following me.”

Congratulations Michael.  May you enjoy the many years ahead of you, just as I have, and so much more.

 

#1 Down


Last evening I wrote about two different journeys that shared the same date.  I am waiting to hear the results of the “kid” who had his first PET scan post treatment,  of which hopefully he and his family will hear the word “remission.”

But today was my father’s first treatment against lung cancer.  Surgery was originally expected to take care of the cancer, but it was later felt that some preventative chemo would best provide and maintain remission for him.

My father had confessed to me, just moments before his appointment, he had contemplated backing out completely.  He still was not convinced that he could endure the toxic compounds that were going to be pushed through his veins.  But here we were at 11:45am walking into the lobby of the Dorothy Morgan Cancer Center at Lehigh Valley Hospital.

He registered and was then escorted back into the chemotherapy suite.  The entire room ran the length of the building, with a chemo chair in front of each window.  I counted close to fifteen.  My dad was walked back to the 11th chair and sat down.  The nurse inserted his IV line which would facilitate the poison that was going to work for the good to get rid of my father’s cancer.

Then the last thing I thought would have happened, happened.  Rose, his nurse, asked him if he would like anything to eat.  She rattled off a list of items from sandwiches to snacks and beverages.

The first medicines administered were to handle the obvious nausea that may occur.  The whole time, Rose is explaining everything that is happening.  She is a good comforter.  In less than an hour, my father was given the first drug to make sure his cancer went away, and stayed away.  The drug took about 3 1/2 hours to go through the IV lines into his system.  This was the one drug that my father had been concerned about as there was a good chance of having an allergic reaction to it.  That was the bad news.  But the good news was, if he did have an allergic reaction to it, they would know within the first fifteen to twenty minutes, and would be able to respond to the reaction.  After the first half hour, we all breathed a sigh of relief as there was no reaction.  We would just wait for the drug to finish its administration.

Once that first drug was done, on came the second drug.  This would take about a half an hour to be administered, but it did not carry the allergic reaction risk to it that the first drug did.

By the end of the first treatment, nearly six hours later, my dad uttered something I never thought I would ever hear a cancer patient ever say about chemotherapy, and I’m sure not something that is heard every day in the chemo suite, “that actually was pretty good.”

I feel good for my father.  Unlike my first chemotherapy appointment, where it was a race against the clock to get home before I would puke my guts up, my dad felt as if when he had walked through the door of the chemo suite.  The first chemo appointment for him was going to be crucial as he had not made up his mind yet that morning that he was even going to go through chemo.  But once there, depending on how he felt with the chemo, would most likely determine if he would be back for #2.  So far so good.

A Different Perspective


I remember all too well, in 1989 when I began my treatments for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  I recall the first chair upon entering the chemo suite.  There were only two other chairs, but they were always empty.  I was always alone.  My first day of treatment, Brenda, my oncology nurse, took the time, to keep speaking to me in a calm, motherly voice from the insertion of the needle to the administration of the drugs, how each was going to make me feel as it went along, and then at the end, “see you next week.”

I remember all too well, after I completed my treatments, I underwent my first scan since treatments ended.  I was sitting at my desk at work, when a page came through my intercom, “Paul, there’s a call for you on Line 2.  It’s your doctor.”  My office full of other co-workers came to a complete standstill, quiet.

“Paul, we have good news, you are in remission.”

I said thank you, and hung up the phone.  Everyone around me was still quiet.  I rested my head upon my folded hands, and then tears began to fall from my eyes.  I had done it.  I beat cancer.  I was going to live so much longer.

This was my life as a patient.

This is my life as a caregiver.

Tomorrow, my father will begin his cancer treatments for lung cancer.  No easy fete, he has four cycles to get through.  He will suffer through side effects.  He will be exhausted.  I will be there with him for each treatment.

Tomorrow, one of my fellow “Hodgkoids”, will undergo his first scan since completing his treatments two weeks ago.  He will get the scan done, and then wait to hear that word, “remission.”

Dad, you can do this.

To my young friend, “As I continue down the road of remission, I will look in my rear view mirror to make sure you got onto that highway.”  Good luck tomorrow.

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