Paul's Heart

Everyone Can Chill Without A Pill

There has been a lot of discussion on many of my FB feeds, fellow patients and survivors experiencing struggles with anxiety, depression, and stress.  And today’s post does not have to be just about cancer patients and survivors, it is really about everyone.  We all deal with it.

First, I will be the first one to say “no” to prescriptions to assist with stress and anxiety.  And I have my reasons that go beyond an industry that just cares about profit over patient.  Unless there is something physiological at issue, then the prescription method does nothing to solve the problem, it only masks the problem.  And if you actually listen to the commercials or read the magazine ads, the potential side effects can be startling.

I wrote last week about making the decision for psychotherapy.  And I actually like this option, because the therapist that I had been seeing, did not prescribe drugs.  She had a PH. D in psychiatry, but she knew how to handle the many emotional issues I had as a cancer survivor, without prescribing any drugs.  She was also instrumental in teaching me how to deal with daily stresses on top of my survivor issues.

I have made no secret either, I am 100% in support of medicinal marijuana usage.  There is no debate to the benefits that it provides to everyone suffering either physically or emotionally.  It is my hope that in the near future, this debate ends once and for all.  Smoking and alcohol and prescription drugs all cause more harm and are all legal, than any possible damage caused by someone using weed medically.

But I do want to show that there are even more alternatives to learning to alleviate stress and anxiety and depression.  Some come with ease, and some take practice, time, and routine.

The first tool that I use to relax and unwind, and am actually doing it now while I am writing (I love Pandora), costs absolutely nothing unless you are going to see a nationally known popular band.  Music is available to us 24 hours a day, and other than purchasing some songs off of ITunes, we can listen to it for free, any time that we want.  Every minute of my chemo treatments, and during my radiation treatments, I had ear buds on.

In fact, on a recent drive,  a song came on the radio that actually threw me right back to 1989 during my treatments.

A very popular song, and controversial video, Madonna’s “Like A Prayer” was heard nearly every drive I made for my treatments.  Over the course of my treatments, I heard thousands of songs, but I definitely credit the ability that music had to “take me away”, even just mentally from the cruel things I had to go through, just to survive.

Today, I listen to music, I sing to music, and am learning new ways to appreciate music, all of which cost nothing.  I can sit and listen to a local band that I follow and enjoy, or I can sing at a local establishment via karaoke.  It literally costs nothing to enjoy something that makes you feel good.

Bottom line, and I firmly believe, and again, as long as it is nothing chemically of the body, we all possess the power to change our thinking.  And I am not talking about new age beliefs either, and there is nothing wrong with those.  But the simple act of something we do, when altered, has the ability to change our moods and it costs nothing.  By altering our breathing, we change the oxygen going to our brains.  Not to mention, in concentrating on our breathing, we are distracting ourselves from the stress or anxiety of what was in the front of our thoughts.  And it takes practice, but has been scientifically proven, change your breathing, and you change your body’s reactions.  As an example, the exercise I use daily, I sit with my posture straight and arms relaxed at my sides(with some softer music), eyes closed, breathing in through my nose, slowly to a count of 4, and then exhale through my mouth, even more slowly for a count of 5.  I do this ten times every instance, and additionally if needed.  You can try any method of breathing.  It may sound funny, but it does work.

And finally, something we all take for granted, and costs nothing, exercise.  Clearly exercise makes us feel better.  And you do not have to be a gym rat to get this feeling.  Yoga, a simple walk or bike ride if you are able, all possess the ability to release stress, and reduce anxiety.  Exercise takes as little effort or as much effort as you wish, but the result is the same.  A healthier body not just physically, but emotionally.

Like I said, earlier, I am not saying that prescriptions are not necessary, and I do believe that medicinal marijuana should be a legal option, but there are so many ways to help relax our minds.  And once we have a clearer head, we can actually sit back and look at the things that are causing us distress, anxiety, and even pain, and then deal with them.  But if all we do is throw a pill at something to mask the “pain”, then nothing is solved and all we do is rely on that pill.

When Emotional Support Is Needed

I came across an article that I had published by Bridges, a quarterly newsletter through Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York.  The article I had written was about the addressing the need for emotional support before, during, and after cancer.  Of course, the article can pertain to anyone dealing with a severe illness or disease.

I apologize, I was trying to get the link directly, but I sometimes have my limits with technology, so here is the scanned copy of the article, as well as the text printed below.  (Please keep in mind, this article was written 4 years ago, there have been some changes in my life.)

What prompted  you to consult  the MSKCC Counseling Center?
On March 3, 1990, I completed my last treatment for Hodgkin’s disease. I often use the word “cured” or “survived.”  Over the last year, I’ve come to realize, I am still fighting my cancer and have not fully survived it, at not least yet.
Emotionally, I felt that I got through my cancer fight alone. Physically, I know it was actually a team effort. There were countless other people going through similar cancer battles, but when everything ended and I was in remission, I still felt alone.
Cancer isn’t just a physical battle, it is a mental torture. Despite our similarities, even a cancer patient can’t begin to know the true inner feelings of another cancer patient. We have to deal with lack of control, uncertainty of remission, our mortality, and our recovery. Many of us go through treatment without this mental preparation or support.
Over the past twenty years, I have dealt with several major life events and have taken on everything emotionally just like I did with cancer, on my own. I had the attitude that these problems were my burdens, no one else’s.
It takes courage for a person to admit that he has a problem and to seek help. Just as cancer requires a treatment team, coping with emotional challenges does as well. Through the invaluable support
of other survivors who have battled late side effects from treatments and/or emotional distress, I recognized that I needed someone professional to talk to. I had to get beyond the stigma of seeing a “shrink,” as I was certain I would be judged by anyone who knew this.
How does seeing  a psychologist  help you as a  cancer survivor?
I found a psychologist in  the Counseling Center at Memorial Sloan-Kettering who works very closely with the doctors who provide my survivorship care. Antidepressants, anxiety pills, and psychotropic drugs are not pushed on me. I’m talking to a person who is educated in what it means to be diag
nosed with cancer, to go through the fight, and to be a survivor. My survival issues began with my first biopsy over 20 years ago. I was not prepared for the fact that I would never feel the same and didn’t know how to accept this new reality. Some of the things we’ve gone through as cancer patients have physically changed us forever. My psychologist works with me to talk through and deal with everything that is running through my mind (usually dozens of things at a time). She does not mask my concerns with “you’ll be fine” or prescribe medications. This is why I travel five hours each way for an appointment instead of visiting a therapist “approved by my insurance for a limited amount of visits” just minutes from my home.
Today, I seemingly have everything. I have two beautiful daughters we adopted from China.  I do know that I have survived so much. For that, I am so grateful and happy. I know that with the help of my psychologist, I will continue to work through my challenges and move forward. There has been no shame, no stigma, and no judgment and I wish that everyone could have the opportunity to speak with her. Just as my treatment required so much help beyond what I would have been able to accomplish on my own, my emotional survival has been no different.
The MSKCC Counseling Center welcomes all cancer patients – whether or not they are receiving care at MSKCC. For more information, or to make an appointment, please call 646-888-0100.