Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Cancer”

The Difference Between Fear Mongering And Reality


Right up front, I must warn you, if you are the type of person who just wants to hear about unicorns and rainbows, believes only in the powers of “The Secret,” or just a simply denier that bad things never happen, you will want to skip this post.

The reality is that the world, not just our country, is facing one of its worst crisis in history.  Any attempt to minimize the severity of the Corona Virus, is pure irresponsibility.  That said, it is estimated that a fairly high number of people will contract this virus and face any number of symptoms from none to mild or moderate, and recover.  And under normal circumstances to go on carrying on about life in care-free fashion would not even raise an eye-brow.

But there is a decent percentage of the world’s population, estimated at 20%, that is known to have major issues not just surviving this virus, but suffering through it, clearly an understatement.  Without going through all the histology of the virus, real simple.  It is not the virus that kills, it is the pneumonia caused by the virus that takes the lives of those who are vulnerable or elderly.  But why?  Why does it affect this certain group of people?

First, I want to be clear, as one of this 20%, I am doing nothing that should put you at risk or inconvenience.  I have been doing my part since the warnings were finally given, actually a bit sooner because even I was aware this was going to be serious even though those with the powers that be, would rather have downplayed it.

So, I am doing my part.  I am social distanced, physically isolated for the most part.  I have taken control of my outcome as best as I can.  Now to understand why I am doing this.

In the beginning of this outbreak, we were warned who was considered vulnerable.  The elderly.  Those with cardiac issues.  People who had pulmonary issues.  Diabetics.  Anyone with high blood pressure.  And of course people with compromised immune systems.  Six boxes of vulnerability, and I check of five of them, because I do not consider being in my fifties, elderly.

In 2008, I had emergency heart surgery to bypass the major artery to my heart, damaged from radiation therapy for my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma years earlier.  I had a second surgery in 2019 to correct another vital artery, also due to radiation damage.  To this day, I know that yet a third surgery will be in my future to correct more radiation damage, to the valves of my heart.  And if that was not enough, I also have to be concerned about my carotid arteries, also affected by the cumulative and progressive damage done by the radiation.

My lungs also have issues from both radiation and chemo therapies.  The lower left lobe of my lung is described as “dead”.  My last test of lung capacity measured was at 76%.  I also have unidentified spots on my lungs that have been watched for years.  In 2012, I nearly died from aspiration pneumonia, because it turned septic.  Nine months later, I would have another round of this pneumonia.  I get the vaccine for pneumonia, actually several boosters, but those are for viral.  The pneumonia I fear and experienced was bacterial.  It was caused by damage to my trachea and  esophagus from radiation therapy.  This has taken a huge toll on my lungs.

The diabetes diagnosis is something I still have not really accepted, and feel diet related.  But, unscientific surveys among other long term survivors, show that many of us have an issue maintaining our A1C levels, the marker for diabetes.  And blood pressure?  Well for the last several years, lifestyle changes have helped me manage though occasionally there is an asshole or two, that will test my tolerance.

And as part of my diagnostics thirty years ago, my spleen was removed.  Years later, medicine would soon realize just how important the spleen was in defending the body against infection.

These are facts, there is no fear mongering.  I personally know what I am up against.  I have followed advice of the CDC, and various health networks.  I need facts to be able to get through this.  I do not need false stories, worse, false hopes.  I need to know how far this is spread, how close this has gotten to me.  I have made every sacrifice I must to avoid being afflicted, including being distanced from my children, the toughest part of this.

So, pardon me if I have zero tolerance because you feel slighted and inconvenienced and choose to follow the recommendations.  There are many like me, who began to isolate ourselves once the numbers became obvious this was going to get out of control.  It is not us that have kept the trajectory of the virus going.  It is portion of the 80% who felt this was not going to affect them, who had this feeling of invincibility, immortality.  Fifteen days to slow the spread, has now been stretched to forty-five.  Why?  Because too many just did not care.  It was those who also were the first to use the words “fear mongering.”  And they are also now the ones offering false information from inappropriately wearing face masks to hoping for Spring weather.

If you want to make this go away, do as we have been told.  Your chances of catching Covid19 or spreading it, are near zero if you follow this guideline of social distancing, stay at home, whatever you want to call it.  Incubation period is fourteen days.  There is no reason if we have all done our part, by the end of April, we should see a huge drop in cases.  That is a fact.  I just wish it was more than hope that everyone would do it.

I am not a fearmongerer.  I live in reality.  I have to.  My life depends on it.

A PPE Nightmare, No Not What You Think


We are hearing enough daily reports about the shortages of personal protective equipment (PPE) that you do not need me to remind you.  Instead, I want to give you a non-Corona virus situation to help understand just how important PPE really is.  What is scary, just this morning, it was revealed that the Center For Disease Control (CDC) last week created a crisis strategy for PPE.  In other words, the CDC is modifying its already minimized requirements for PPE, and in a crisis like we have now, even lowering those standards.  I have not read these changes in great detail yet, so I will not overstep my boundary of this post.  Instead, like I said, I have a story to tell you about PPE.  And hopefully after, you will understand in simpler terms, just what our health care workers are up against, and why this is important to them.

First, to understand, personal protective equipment, is just that, personal (for you), protective equipment (worn to protect you and possibly others).

I worked in medical research for a number of years.  Quite rewarding actually to have an avenue to give back to what saved my life.  Working in medical research, not just wearing PPE was important, but the proper levels of PPE.  And there are different levels depending on how serious a pathogen (germ, bacteria, virus, bad stuff) you were dealing with.

Your dentist wears PPE, usually a mask, and definitely gloves.  Most doctors wear gloves to examine patients.  Scientists and researchers are no different.  The thing about PPE, it is supposed to be once and done.  You wear PPE to prevent you from being exposed, or exposing anyone else.  When you are done with it, you throw it away.  You do not reuse it.  That is why most PPE comes individually wrapped.  It is not meant to be used over and over.  But what happens when it does get used again, and again, and again, and again?  Here is that story.

I had a co-worker, who shall remain nameless, who did just that.  He had several work areas to maintain.  Of course, that would mean that he had to wear a different set of PPE in each area.  Well, “gowning up” or putting on PPE takes time (booties, gown, mask, head bonnet, two pair of gloves, face shield if necessary), as does “ungowning.”  That co-worker had no issue, wearing the same PPE from area to area, and as long as he did not get caught, no harm, no foul.  And by getting caught, I mean, not just by management, but by cross-contaminating from one area to the next.  This alone is disturbing enough.  But it gets worse, much worse.  His laziness not only covered the various work areas, but extended for his entire work week.  That is right, he wore the same equipment to every area he entered, but wore it all week.  You might want to put down anything you might be snacking on or drinking for the next paragraph.

Some of us, including me, would discover what our co-worker was doing.  For the average co-worker who did not give a shit, some of us did, realizing the potential for compromising any studies.  Remember, research, looking for cures, looking for vaccines, these things all require acting appropriately.

Upon inspection, and removal of this PPE that had been discovered, was the evidence that he was doing just as I have written.  With the exception of his gloves, he had reused everything, all week, in every area.  There was “soiled” evidence on everything.  On one particular piece of PPE, was enough to make me vomit, his mask.  The one piece that would go against his lips, cover his nose was filthy, actually crusted with residue from the environment.

Forget the person risk to himself, he was carrying all of this from area to area, putting every study at risk.

That is why, when I hear today, that we have health care workers and responders pleading for PPE, being forced to wear the same PPE for days, even work without, now having the CDC “allowing” reuse of certain PPE with one of the most contagious viruses we have seen in a long time, if ever, I just want to hang my head in despair.  But I cannot.  Because I have so many friends that work in health care, and I know that they are speaking up for what they need.  And they are risking their own lives, and the lives of their loved ones at home, compromised from reusing PPE.

This is a disgrace.  This PPE shortage is something that a 3rd world country experiences.  But in times of companies operating under the guise of Six Sigma, simply put, a method to learn to do more with less, to increase profit margins.  And that means, many, if not most, have been caught with lower inventories of PPE.  Manufacturers probably cut back manufacturing due to lower demand.  And in the firestorm of an emergency like Corona Virus, here we are cut flatfooted, scrambling to find resources, rush production, and in some case, average citizens trying to do their part, making home-made PPE just so that our health care workers can have some sort of “protection.”

Our healthcare workers deserve better.  We deserve better.  All of our lives depend on it.

15 Days, Limits Of Group Size – It Is All About Perspective


This meme came across my feed today.  It could not be more appropriate.  Honestly, I had been hoping to follow up my 30th Anniversary post with stories of the adventures of my next ten and twenty years.  Instead, my last several posts have all been geared to help everyone understand the big picture, and why it needs to matter to everyone.

This afternoon, President Trump announced an extreme measure meant to help contain the spread of the Corona virus.  The result from this press conference is simply, politics needs to be thrown out the window dealing with this crisis.  If you were anti-Trump, you heard a press conference that appears to have nearly everyone on the same page, hopefully giving confidence that were will progress forward.  If you are pro-Trump, you should stop hearing (at least for the time being) attacks on the efforts, but rather, from the President himself, this is serious, and it is not going away any time soon.  Both sides should now be on the same page, going for the same goal.  Slow the progression, buy the time needed so that the medical system does not get overwhelmed.  More importantly, casualties kept to a minimum.

One of the hardest things for most people to accept, is being told their life needs to be put on hold, at least temporarily.  No secret, I am a cancer survivor, and I think I can speak for anyone who has ever had to deal with a serious health issue, when I say, “hold my beer.”

15 days.  We, as a country, are being asked to limit our interactions to groups less than ten people.  In some places, businesses are either being recommended or required to close to assist with this effort.  Chances are, if you are a healthy individual, the news of being told to restrict your social activity probably resulted in the same result that a teenager would give being told they could not go to the movies or mall with their friends under normal circumstances.  Que the eye roll and thunder as the pupils hit the back of the head, and the screams of exasperation at the perceived “end of days”.

I just heard a great analogy, that pushing to find out how much longer we are going to have to deal with this, is like asking a fireman how soon we will be able to move back into the house, as they are still putting out fire.

Perspective.  Also known as “keepin’ it real.”

My chemotherapy lasted 8 months, 240 days.  No hair.  Sick as shit.  Fatigued to no end.  No one wanting to hang out with someone looking like a freak.

My radiation therapy went 30 days.  My skin burning worse than any sunburn imaginable, resulting in a peeling that you could only imagine being equaled by a Hollywood makeup artist.

Recovery from open heart surgery, six months, 180 days.  With one full week in the hospital, 2 days in the ICU, I lost all my strength.  I needed the full six months to heal properly, before being able to return to work.

Enough with the sick stuff.  Are you reading this and old enough to remember the events of September 11, 2001?  Have your forgotten all of the changes that were immediately implemented, leaving us no choice to accept the way things were, many of which still exist today, some methods even stronger?

Do you think only bad things in our lives can make us appreciate perspective?  Nope.  I know it is a bad example, but how many have gone on a two week cruise?  Spring Break?  Family vacations?  The truth is, we have no problem with a “social distancing” when we are able to make that decision ourselves.  Because that is a good thing.  But you know what else is a good thing?  Keeping your health.

President Trump has made it very clear today.  We need to do this, limit our social activity for fifteen days.  It is not like we cannot do it, because we can.  But just as I lost control of my life to fight cancer, and the many late health issues have come up, of the events of September 11, 2001, this situation is no different.  I cannot control the outcome of the spread.  But I can deal with how it affects my personal life, which as a collective, will help everyone.

I have gone through this many times.  So can you.

Post Navigation