Happy Father’s Day
I consider Father’s Day to be the most important day to me, bigger than all of the others. To me, there is no more important responsibility or title that I can have in my life, than being a “Dad.” And I have been blessed twice. It is not something that I take for granted. A father/child relationship is best described as an hourglass, with sand running through much too quickly, until the sand has all run out. The path to fatherhood begins differently for everyone but there is not greater feeling than when a child is placed in your arms for the first time.
And while the first half of my daughters lives were pretty much “Norman Rockwell paintings” doing normal things that families do from school activities to extracurricular, my divorce put a stronger emphasis on Father’s Day for me, making sure that this one day, above all other days including Christmas and birthdays, was my day to celebrate with my daughters.
There has been no greater honor than to be one of my daughters two main role models. As adults now, there are no more crayons, reading books, or watching Barbie videos. Now the real pressure of fatherhood is on, to make sure they know about insurances, major expenses, career decisions, time management, and of course relationships. I always thought that I would be the one to have the trouble with this progression, and to a degree I do, but it was my younger daughter who had a “Cat’s In The Cradle” moment, when she expressed her fears that, now in college, and in her future, she would not see me as often, which is likely. But just as I got by during my divorce, not being with them every day, technology via Facetime and Skype, I could see them and talk to them any time I wanted or needed to.
Those who know me, know that my daughters are my world. With all of the health issues that I deal with in my survivorship, my daughters are my driving force, to keep fighting. They both have friends who have lost their fathers for one reason or another, and I do not want them to ever have to feel that pain. And while I know that I am mortal and have no control over fate, my love and strength for my daughters is what gets me through every day.
But as much as I celebrate today, I and many others also recognize loss, fathers not able to see their children, or worse, children not able or even willing to see their fathers. As an adult child of divorce, I have experienced this pain. And it is my hope that some day, just as in my case, amends can be made and bring the fathers and their children back together.
I miss my father. It has been ten years now that he has been gone. He got to watch his granddaughters grow in their early years, but how do I wish he could see who they have become. I wish I could tell him, that I had his strength when it came to always fight for my rights as the father of my daughters. I never gave up.
To those who are able to celebrate this day, Happy Father’s Day. And for those who have just memories, may those memories provide you comfort on this day.
Paul's Heart 