The Becoming
As parents, we don’t realize it, but as our children grow, we help to guide them, teach them how to make decisions, and at times, learn there are other places to get answers and help, besides their parents. And then, get this, it seems to come as a shock, that when the moment comes, and “we”, the parents, are no longer the first source of where our children turn to. This feeling goes beyond “empty nest” syndrome, where the house feels so quiet, and empty when a child goes of to school, or moves out. It is not about “emptiness” or even longing for, but a feeling of having lost some usefulness.
It was cute. My daughters played dolls with each other. A natural and frequent occurrence, my older daughter would often help and guide learning new activities such as ice skating and skiing. The progression would continue as they entered into their teens. Soon, they would be helping each other with homework, and it did not matter which grades they were in. They soon learned that each other had strengths that could benefit the other, and together, and that Dad had gone as far as he was able to (thank you “Common Core).
But now, as adults, they are finally becoming who they will be, and that is all on them. One daughter, with a couple of solo journeys under her belt, has demonstrated she is capable of navigating adulthood on her own, with each decision bearing more weight than the last. The other daughter, as part of her education, is setting to begin her first co-op, working for a major company while completing her studies, real life responsibilities as an adult.
This is what every parent should want for their children, the best opportunities as they venture forward in life, along with all the virtues and morals they had been taught. Though, this is the moment in time that parenthood had guided us to, I cannot help feeling reluctant to let go. But they are both ready.
Perhaps the most important part of our relationship and guidance is still yet to come, so that I can feel needed. Such as buying a car or house, picking the right health insurance. Throughout their lives, my daughters know that they have been able to count on me. That will never change.
Paul's Heart 