Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the month “September, 2014”

Cancer – Dear Diary


This is probably one of the most important, and valuable posts I am going to put on “Paul’s Heart.”  It is not bad enough that a patient has so many things to see, listen to, and think about.  But I am going to give you a suggestion not only to make it easier for you, but make a difference in not only your current care, but future care.  It is no longer good enough just to have a second set of ears or eyes with you at your appointment.

From the moment that you even suspect cancer, it is time to start writing things down.  Making note of your symptoms, your daily routines, and reactions are all critical when it comes to helping your care staff treat you.  But it goes further than that.

Of course you should always take lots of notes right from the first visit.  If you have questions, write them down.  Do not wait until your appointments because your train of thought can easily be derailed if a conversation goes in a different direction than what you were anticipating.  I do not care if you fill up ten sheets of paper with questions for your oncology staff to answer, if you have questions, you deserve to have them answered.  And I will tell you why.  You, YOU are a member of your treatment team.  You need to take part in your diagnosis, treatment, and survival.  Everything is going to happen to you.  You have the most important say.

The next thing you do, and will be the easiest to maintain, compile your own medical record.  Get a notebook binder, and after each appointment, after each blood test, every scan, every specialist, ask for a copy of your record for that appointment.  Most will not charge your for this.  Why do you want to collect what your doctors will have on file?  Because, the first time that you are sent to another specialist for any other reason, you want to have all of your records available for that new physician.  I know.  In the days now where everything is paperless, there can still be delay, or worse, systems can be down.  This can be detrimental when treatment timing is so critical.  Imagine, being able to walk into a doctor’s office, and being told that another appointment will have to be made, while records are obtained from other doctors.  But instead, you either pull out your binder, or if you are technically advanced (which I am not), a zip-drive and can supply that information immediately.

But another reason to keep these records, there may come a day, when other issues might arise.  Perhaps you need to apply for Social Security Disability or other reason.  Words cannot express the frustration you will have compiling everything, if you have to do it right from the beginning, gathering everything, from every office you have had appointments with.

I will give you one more example.  And perhaps one of those “I wish someone had given me that advice” moments.

Following my open heart surgery, courtesy of my radiation therapy damage, and it became clear that I was having other issues related to chemo and radiation long term, I had to venture into a whole new arena, long term survival care.  After finding a specialist clinic, in my case Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the very first thing they asked me for, were my records.  I felt this would be an easy task as there were only two places I had treatments, one for chemo, and the other for radiation.

Turned out, my chemotherapy and office visit records had been destroyed by a fire.  The cynic in me thinks that was a fancy term for incinerated as I had not seen them in so many years, to lighten their load, the burned my files.  Fortunately my radiation records were still available, though this was probably due to regulatory reasons.  But by not having my chemo treatment records, the doctors I was going to see, were now going to have to estimate my treatment records based on protocol used back in the 1980’s.  Exact was not going to make that big of a difference because of the particular drugs used, any dose was going to be harmful to me long term.  But the point is, half of my records were no longer available.

Now, after six years of surviving my near-death heart episode, and in the long term survivorship program, I have a backpack, filled with paperwork from every doctor, every test, every visit I have made since that day.  It weighs about eighteen pounds which is why I really need to get tech savvy and put it on some sort of disc.  But the point is, every new doctor I see, either by plan or by emergency visit, I have everything at my disposal to help that treating physician deal with me, a very complicated patient.

Now of course, I cannot carry this backpack with me everywhere, all of the time.  So I wear a medic alert bracelet, that lists the following information:  my name, abbreviated history, and on the back, lists my doctor’s name and phone number, and the instructions, “see wallet for important details”.  In my wallet, I carry two laminated cards.  One card is an abbreviated history of diagnosis discovered, and the other is probably the most important warning, that I am asplenic.  I have no spleen.  This is important because as I am taking to a hospital, where germs and bacteria thrive, my immune system is compromised by not having a spleen, and preventative measures need to be taken to prevent me from contracting an infection of any kind… which with great ease could turn septic, and fatal for me.

As a patient, we have so much on our minds, and things can easily be forgotten.  If I give any advice on this web site, I consider this post to be one of the most valuable.  Keep records of your cancer journey – and that goes beyond treatment and remission.  You never know when you will need them.

What’s Your Sign? Mine Is Cancer.


One of the most common issues I come across patients is when it comes to dating, when is the right time to discuss that you had cancer, and as in my case, some very serious late developing side effects.  I had originally wrote this in various forms, but felt this small script would illustrate a lighter side, to hopefully take some pressure off wondering when would be the right time.  I will write about my own personal experience in a near future post.  As always, feel free to comment or ask questions, if you can relate to this type of problem.

 

“My name is Stephen. I have a friend named Paul. Poor guy. He is in the middle of his second divorce. If only that were the hardest of his problems. He is not a bad looking guy, and he is really nice. But for the first time in twenty-four years, he is heading back into the dating pool, that’s not the hardest this got. In that twenty-four years, he had to battle cancer and some late developing side effects from the treatments.

He has been reluctant to date, because he wants to be honest about his medical history, but has no idea, when the time would be right to bring his health up. I told him to go with his heart. He would know when. And with that, I set him up on a dinner date with a friend of mine, Josephine. They are about the same age, attractive, both have hearts of gold, and unfortunately share something in common.”

 

Hostess:              If you follow me sir, your guest is already seated at your table.

Paul:                      Thank you.

Hostess:              Here you are sir, may I introduce you to Josephine.

Paul:                      Nice to meet you.

Josephine:         Nice to meet you too.

Hostess:              Your waitress will be right by to take your drink orders.

A couple of minutes pass as Paul and Josephine exchange some chit chat. The waitress stops by the table.

Waitress:            Good evening. My name is Alyssa and I’ll be your server this evening. Can I get either of you something to drink?

Josephine:          I would like a glass of cabernet please.

Paul:                      I will have a glass of Yuengling Lager, and I had cancer twenty-three years ago, (he says softly and very quickly under his breath).

Josephine snaps her attention to Paul, unsure of what he just said following the word lager.

Waitress:            Very well. I’ll be right back with your drinks and to take your orders.

Paul:                      So Josephine, it is really nice to meet you. Please, tell me about yourself.

Josephine:          Well, I’m originally from New Jersey but have lived here for about ten years. I have two grown children. How about you?

Paul:                      I’m originally from Pennsylvania and moved here recently. (The waitress returns with the drinks) I have two children that I adopted from China because chemo left me unable to have biological children (once again much too softly and quickly for Josephine to hear what he has said)

Waitress:            And here you go… Cabernet for you Miss and a Yuengling for you sir. Are you ready to order?

Josephine is really confused at this point but nods “yes”.

Paul:                      Yes, we are.

Waitress:            For you Ma’am?

Josephine:          I’ll have the mussels for an appetizer, a Caesar salad, and the baked mozzarella ravioli with Shrimp in Alfredo sauce.

Waitress:            And for you sir?

Paul:                      I tried radiation first I’ll have the house pirogues with the garlic butter sauce… (Josephine now really concentrating on Paul’s seemingly subliminal conversation) And I too will have a Caesar salad because chemo worked better. And I would like the sirloin cooked medium my Hodgkin’s lymphoma was rare enough.

Waitress:            Very well. I will put your order in right away.

Josephine:         (looking for clarification) So Paul, you were saying… you have two children…

Paul:                      Yes, two beautiful daughters. I work as a laboratory assistant for a pharmaceutical company as a way to pay forward, for medicine finding a cure for me.

Josephine now totally confused, asks Paul…

Josephine:          Is there something that you need to tell me?

Paul:                      Actually there is. I just don’t know where to start. I’m attracted to you. And you are definitely a wonderful woman. But I’m afraid that what I am about to tell you, might ruin any chance I might have to get to know you better.

Josephine:          Why don’t you let me decide? What’s on your mind?

Paul:                      I am a cancer survivor. I had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma twenty-four years ago. I have had to deal with some pretty nasty late developing side effects since then. But for the most part I am healthy otherwise.

Josephine:          I must tell you, I wasn’t expecting to hear that at all. But guess what? My son, who is twenty-three just completed his treatments for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and I’m sure he would love to meet someone who has survived for so long. It won’t happen right now, he’s recovering from his own complication from his treatments as well. That is actually what I am doing here. I have been staying here while he’s recovering in the hospital.

 

Stephen: Sometimes when we least expect it, and not looking for it, opportunity finds us. At times, it is more than just an opportunity; it might just be much bigger than that.

Just Because You Cannot See It


There are plenty of side effects that come about from treatments for cancer, whether it be from surgery, radiation therapy, or chemotherapy.  Some are quite obvious and visible, others cannot be seen.  Then of course, for the cancer patient, it becomes a matter of whether it is worth anyone’s attention.

I had and still swear by a couple of rules when it comes to dealing with side effects.  If it is anything different than what the norm was, you make the call to the oncologist.  The oncologist will be able to tell, and would make any decision that would require immediate action.

Like I said, there are obvious side effects that can be seen –  hair loss, weight loss, lethargy, skin color.  But perhaps the most concerning for patients, is just so complicated, because it cannot be seen.  To complicate matters, perception, how a cancer patient worries about this side effect, can actually cause more duress trying to deny it causing cancer patients to deny it.  This is not a good thing.  Your doctor is going to know best whether what you are feeling is normal, expected, or needs to be looked into further.  You could be having a reaction to the treatment, or perhaps it could be psychosomatic in nature.  The key is to never underestimate how you are feeling.  If it is an emergency, trust me, your doctor will make an immediate decision and direct you what you need to do.

Fatigue is simply put, exhaustion.  Not just “phew – I put in 8 hours today, went to the gym, did some grocery shopping, and barely had enough energy to cook dinner.”  No fatigue is much worse than that.  Because treatments deplete the body of the many blood cells it needs to survive, cancer patients are often left with barely enough energy to get from a chair in their living room, grab a little snack in the kitchen, and sit back down without being completely exhausted.

I have often told cancer patients who have asked me about fatigue, I put it simply, “if you feel like putting a new roof on the house, go for it.  But if you cannot even get up to change the channel on the television (like we used to do as far back as the early 1980’s), then don’t”.  It sounded like a silly suggestion, but from the first time, that a patient tries to push their energy level, they remember the little voice I put in their head warning them if they did not listen to their body.

But you see, dealing with fatigue is complicated.  If you are like me, or my late father, we were never the type to sit around, or ask for help with anything.  If something needed to be done, we did what we had to, and then we paid for it dearly.  But being forced into a nap is the least of the worries in dealing with fatigue.  We are not only wearing ourselves out mentally, and physically, but we are challenging our bodies to keep up when it so desperately needs rest.

Radiation therapy is harmful to the body.  Great in curing cancer, but harmful.   Most chemotherapy is toxic to the body.  Great in curing cancer, but toxic.  Both treatments erode our body’s immune system, which, if we push ourselves physically more than we should, it only wears our immune system down even quicker.

So we have to deal with fatigue ourselves.  But I talked about perception, from a patient’s perspective.  But because fatigue can only be felt and not seen, we as cancer patients often burden ourselves with how we are seen by those around us.  The most common perception we feel being directed at us is that we are lazy.  Unless you are actually dealing with a situation as severe as cancer, a person is most likely never going to know what true fatigue feels like, and we have to be willing to admit, there is probably going to be some sort of judgment.  We have to be willing to accept that we, WE, have to only concerns with how we treat ourselves when going through times like these.  Sounds easy I know.  I have been on the harassment side of co-workers who felt fatigue was bullshit.

By the second week of my radiation treatments, I was going to bed at least two hours earlier than usual, and by the end of the treatments, I was usually in bed by 7pm.  During my chemotherapy, it was not unusual for me to sleep fifteen to seventeen hours after my injections, followed by early bed times.  Of course the body does rebound, if you give it the chance, and then do not push it.

The fact is, fatigue is real.  Just because others cannot see it, you can feel it.

Listen to your body.  It will tell you what you can do, and cannot.

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