Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

A Little More On The Jersey Turnpike

So this will be the first sequel post that I am writing on this blog.  It seems that I touched a nerve and set off a bit of discussion at home and on this site.  I already admitted that I would be willing to be called a hypocrite, a prude, etc.  But argument still cannot be made to convince me, the dad, that this is okay behavior.

I was a dog in my younger days.  Yes, that taints me or give me prejudice against anybody that wants to date my daughters.  I want to, and will do everything I can to make sure that our daughters will be open with us when it comes to sex (among other things).  But what I was suggesting, was that two things should have happened.  The first, since parents were not allowed inside the gym, which I totally agree with, there were chaperones inside.  The chaperones should have interrupted the grinding.  The disc jockey should have changed the “atmosphere” of the floor by switching to other genres of music.  This can be done.  I have done it.  There is plenty of music that kids can listen to, without having the need to rub junk and privates.

The excuse that “this is what kids do today” or “all the kids are doing it” does not carry any merit.  While entertaining on an adult level, for adults, that is up to the individual.  I will admit that I have no problem with this particular dance move while watching a television show like Dancing With The Stars, but not a four-year old on Toddlers and Tiaras.  But I will provoke you with an additional thought that popped into my head after I hit “publish”.

A parent would no sooner tolerate a boy grinding his junk on their daughter’s private bit, any more than a parent would allow the old “yawn and reach around move” at the movie with his hand ending up resting on her breast.  No, there is absolutely no difference.

I know that the values that Wendy and I are instilling in our daughters will be tested, stretched, and some perhaps ripped to shreds.  We can only hope that they will respect themselves enough not to participate in such a demonstration.  Can it be harmless?  I think not.  There is a big difference from doing “the bump” and getting poked by wood.  The girl may not realize any satisfaction or tease out of it, but he will.  And that is what makes it wrong.

Finally, consider this.  What if it is not all fun and games for the girlfriend-less kid who just happens to be joining in on a grind session and gets caught up in a moment?  Thinking the girl might be interested in him because she continues the grind with his participation causes him to misjudge what is actually happening.  And then, while waiting for their parents to pick them up after the dance, the boy tries to carry on a conversation, but the girl wants nothing further than what happened on the dance floor.  And if he does not accept that response… then what happens?

So do we continue to just react as parents, or do we do our best to prevent?

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