Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

“May Wan Tee”


“May Wan Tee”.  I am probably spelling it wrong, but this phrase is one that will stick with me forever.

In January of 2004, Wendy and I were notified that we had a daughter that we were going to be travelling to China to meet.  There were meetings to attend, forms to be signed, and monies to be prepared.  Most importantly, since we would be traveling out of the US, we felt that it would be in our best interest to notify our credit card banks about our plans in the event security checked in and shut done our cards because of activity in China.  This plan had been confirmed by many other families, especially with credit union banks.

And so our credit union was notified that we would be leaving for China on March 15 and planned to return two weeks later.  We were wished well, and the process continued.  On March 7th, we got a call from our adoption agency, travel time had been moved up and we would be leaving on the 13th now.  Of course we are all excited.  What an ”inconvenience” to leave for our daughter earlier?!?

So we arrive at Newark International and check in for our flight.  We bought three seats round trip to allow for our slightly larger than average needs, plus it gave us leg room.  Bringing Madison back using only three seats was not going to be a problem.  The problem occurred when we found out that not only were our three seats not next to each other, not only were we not seated next to our “open” seat that we purchased, but Madison’s seat was approximately fifteen rows in front of either one of us (who happened to be sitting on opposite sides of the airplane.  This was not a budget flight, this was a major international carrier.  After a panicked and irate phone call to our agency concerning this snafu, all was settled before we took off for Hong Kong.

I have mentioned two details now that do not coordinate with the original plans, and as you are about to read, they will have a major impact.  Once we land in Hong Kong, our entire travel group, consisting of nine other great families, meet our guide for this leg of the trip.  While Hong Kong is still considered part of China, it has its own government, currency, etc.  Are you with me yet?  First order of business is checking into the airport hotel.  We are recommended to do so quickly, and in spite of the thirteen hour time difference we must deal with, and the building excitement of our growing family, we need to get some sleep.  We will be a family with child tomorrow morning instead of two days from now as originally planned.  All we have to do is check in for tonight’s stay, and our return flight.  That is all.  Nothing more complicated than that.  Piece of cake.  Checked in plenty of times to a hotel.  English is spoken by the representative.  Yep, should be smooth sailing.

I hand him my credit union credit card.  He swipes it.  Wait for it…

“I’m sorry sir, card not working.”  I have been awake and on the road for nearly twenty hours.  But I know what I just heard.  Calmly, I asked him to try again.  He had to have done something wrong while swiping the card.

Here’s the pitch… just passes over the corner of the plate – STRIKE 2!  “I’m sorry sir, it is coming up declined again.”  ALL SYSTEMS… RED ALERT!  RED ALERT! ALL HANDS ON DECK!  OPEN THE TORPEDO DOORS!  Now I hit the panic button and do all that I can from jumping over the counter to swipe the card myself.  I urged him to try it again.  The card had to work.  I was told by the credit union that there would be no problem.  And finally, I struck out.  I was told for the third time, “declined.”

I called Ben, our guide, over to the counter and explained what was happening.  I had only $7500 in cash on me, $6000 which I needed for adoption proceedings and still had to buy our in-country flights, meals, and hotels.  And then Ben said it, “May Wan Tee.”  I said to him with a confused look, “What?  English Ben.”  Ben replied, “no worries.”  He was right.  My credit card was not working.  I was going to run out of cash in less than 24 hours.  Still had to buy meals.  All this while I was preparing for one of the most beautiful times in my life.  Why should I be worried?

The most reasonable thing to do at this point, with less than ten hours now until we met Madison, was to try and get some sleep.  Trying to save cash, eating was not a priority at the moment.  And with the time difference, it was already Saturday afternoon here in the US, so the credit union was already closed for the next day and a half.  How was I going to communicate and get this straightened out?  I had a calling card, but that was supposed to last me the entire trip and the minutes would be used up before even getting an answer and solution to this problem.  I decided to try using the internet and reach Wendy’s mom, giving her all releveant numbers and who to contact.  There was one representative at the credit union who knew me personally, and knew I was in China and could clearly help and I would have Wendy’s mom see her.

By the time we headed for the provincial capital city Nanchang, it was evening in the US, 10am in China.  And we boarded a flight to Nanchang.  We arrived at the beautiful Jiangxi Hotel where our current guide, De had us register.  As all the other families took turns doing so, I approached De soon to realize his English was not as good as Ben’s, but I gave it an effort anyway.  I explained everything so far that has happened.  And then… “May Wan Tee.”  Aw, come on!  You too?!?  And then De pulled out his credit card, put it on the counter, and the desk person took the card, and handed me keys to our room.  Just like that.  I knew De a total of five minutes, literally.

His kindness and belief in “May Wan Tee” taught me alot that day.  I was in a foreign country, very little to no English spoken, no credit card, and very limited cash, with two other people I was responsible for, all for the next eleven days, and I was told not to worry.  His favor to me allowed me time to communicate back home, even with the time difference.  It took three more days to resolve, but I was able to do it without worrying.  It all worked out, no worries.  May Wan Tee.

U.R. Sharpe


To: U.R. Sharpe

From: Paul Edelman

Date: August 20, 2012

Re: Irrational Fear

U.R.,

I wish to bring something to your attention. Allow me to get right to the point, your point actually. On a regular basis, you strike fear in me at the mere mention of your name. You can disguise yourself in any form you like, gauge, length, and now, needleless. The tasks that you are assigned and the locations that you are placed only compound the stress that you cause me. I have faced more serious hazards than you. But even scalpel blades that leave huge physical scars do not inflict the emotional turmoil that you do.

Just to hear someone mention your name raises my blood pressure. Your appearance may only last seconds, but the anticipation of insertion can cause nausea, faint of heart, and occasionally, even panic attacks. Yet, your benefits far outweigh the consequences. Without you, there would be less than half of the tools to diagnose my ills. Unable to find out what is wrong with me, would mean that there would be no way to heal me. And as an additional torment and the cruelest of ironies, the majority of treatments used to cure me require your use.

So for all the good that you do, for all the potential you have, why is it that I would rather face my chest wall being opened for open heart surgery again, something I know should be much more lengthy and painful to endure, than just a “little prick.”

And speaking of those, the whole concept of feeling a “little prick” is that it is not supposed to even be seen, let alone felt or know when inserted. Ask my wife she will tell you how painless it should be. Why can’t you just stick to the old faithful “a slight pinch”? It’s still a lie, but accurate and no double entendre. My body’s reaction is more magical than an illusionist auditioning on a talent show the way my circulatory system disappears. My veins roll like a sack of spilt marbles. Do you get my point? I know that I would rather avoid yours.

Sincerely,

Paul Edelman

Ignore What You Are Hearing


 

The dentist.  From the earliest of my age to present day time, no one has put more fear into me, prevented me from attending appointments, or having flat out having panic attacks, than going to the dentist.  Allow me to put this into perspective.

Decades ago, my dentist was an older gentleman, but very good with children.  He had a calm voice, very reassuring.  And his hygienists were always very pleasant.  In times of more involved dentistry (cavities) of course there would be some pain involved, but with the help of some laughing gas along with novacaine, I always managed to get through those appointments.  My dentist and hygienist did fairly good preaching good oral hygiene to me so I really did not need any more support in that area.  But my mother knew her role in that she wanted to make sure that I knew what was at stake if I did not take care of my teeth.  So, what better way to convince me to brush every day, see the dentist every six months, and take really good care?  “When I went to the dentist, his hands were so shaky, and the drill used to smoke when it grinded the teeth.  And then one time, the drill slipped and cut into my gums and I bled like crazy.  I hated going to…”  You get my drift.  That is all it took for me to look at any dentist like Steve Martin as Dr. Maxwell  in Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Keep in mind, I have been through cancer involving all kinds of surgeons and technicians.  I have had to go through heart surgery just to name one of the many recent issues involving more than thirteen doctors.  My family physicians did nothing more to me than curing my colds and viruses so I was never afraid of them.  The dentist however, at least my prior dentists will all go down as my biggest fear instigators second only to my urologist (and who could blame me on that one, “man’s plumbing” was never meant to have certain things done to it).  My current dentist however is one of a kind.  For various reasons, I am no longer afraid, okay freaked out, to see the dentist.  Howeverrrrrrr, in the event is something that goes beyond her scope, such as say… a tooth extraction, this does not get held against her.

Shortly after my heart surgery, I broke a molar.  It was then that I discovered what the role tooth hygeine plays in cardiology.  Many cardiac patients discover their conditions following visits to the dentist.  It seems that some bacteria that develops in your mouth, can enter your bloodstream which goes to, wait for it, your heart.  Given my cardiac history, I was ordered onto antibiotics prior to getting the broken tooth pulled, standard preventative care.

This time around I have been treated differently.  There appears to be no concern by anyone (other than me) and I make the appointment and it arrives.  There is something to be said to an oral surgeon who makes the comment “just ignore the sounds you are about to hear” which is followed by crack, crack, crack.  Okay, so I know what just happened, the rest of my tooth has been dismantled in shards.  But then he follows it with, “there seems to be quite a bit of bacteria there, so I’m going to send you home with some antibiotics.”  Which is a little late to be doing that with me.

I just had a round with sepsis back in March and have no idea what caused it.  For days, I reflected on how I could have contracted anything that would have led to me being put in the ER via ambulance at four in the morning.  And hear I am lighting the fuse on the “stick of dynamite” that I am now holding.  I know the protocol from here on.  Take the temperature at first sign of warmth.  And if by chance I hit a temperature of 101, then it is off to the races.  Hopefully, this ends up harmless.  But I will be a little more steadfast and stubborn when it comes to a decision like this, like I am with everything else.  Many in my life do not understand why I trust my care with a network located in another state, because they have the experience that my life relies on.

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