Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

“But You Said…”


The following question came across my feed yesterday:

“I am halfway through treatments, and my scan shows I am in remission (YAY!).  Have any of you quit doing the rest of the treatments?  My doctor wants me to keep going.”

The question is a valid one, and emotional one.  As anyone who has gone through treatments that have brutal side effects can tell you, given the chance to drop any, we would likely all do it.  But there is also a reason to seriously consider the risks of not doing it.

I was originally scheduled for 6 cycles of MOPP-ABV chemotherapy, my radiation therapy having not been successful in keeping me in remission.  I had already been warned by my oncologist, there was a likelihood that I would actually end up going through two additional cycles as a “preventative” measure.

I had my scan to see the progress of the treatment at number 4 treatment.  It was November of 1989.  I won’t forget it.  I was told I was in remission.  The first words out of my mouth were, “ok, that’s all I need then, right?”

My oncologist responded, “you could.  But you have to ask yourself, having not stayed in remission before already, wouldn’t it be better to finish the treatment regimen and make sure that you stay in remission this time?”

As excited as I was to hear the news of remission, I was brought crashing down to reality.  My doctor was right.  I wanted to stay in remission.  And not only did I finish the remaining two treatments, but I did the additional two “preventative” treatments.

If you follow my blog, then you know I am now approaching my 31st year in remission next month.  I may not know if I did not take the extra treatments, if I would be able to make this claim.  But I do know that I can say that I did make it this far because I did.

Look, when we are dealing with a severe cold or infection, we are usually given antibiotics for a period of time.  We are told to take them all.  Yet, some may feel better half-way through and think “I don’t need to keep taking them,” and stop.  Then, SURPRISE!  The infection returns, sometimes worse.

Science studies medicines for dosages and duration.  There is a reason if you are taking an antibiotic for ten days, you take it for ten days.  It is not enough to just beat down the disease.  All it takes is a few cells to regenerate more and you are back where you started.  Not to mention the fact, that after taking the full regimen, the drug’s effects itself are likely to last some extra days, continuing to give you protection as you heal.

I use this example when trying to explain the importance of continuing chemotherapy or other treatment, when someone has been told they are in remission.  Yes, we want to get to remission.  But more importantly, we want to stay there.  Approaching 31 years in remission myself, I guess that kind of proves my point.

In Recognition Of World Cancer Day


Today is World Cancer Day, established back in 2000.  It is a day that many cancer patients and survivors take time to recognize, that they are not alone in their fight.  It is a day of hope for awareness and support.

I am approaching my 31st year in remission of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma next month.  I am the lone survivor of cancer of four other family members, who faced other forms of cancer.

In my decades of survivorship, I have been blessed not only with longevity in spite of cancer, I have met literally thousands of other cancer survivors in one form or another.  I am even fortunate to know of other survivors who are decades ahead of me in lifespan.

I have witnessed the progress of diagnostics, treatments, follow-up protocols, as well as the increase in rates of survivorship.  In less than 30 years, my modes of treatment are considered obsolete.

I have faced my share of health issues that are caused by my treatments from long ago.  But that has not stopped me from living life.  I do what I am able and I enjoy it.  Sure I miss many of the things that I used to do, but I have found other things to do instead.

But my biggest blessings are my daughters, my reason for every tomorrow I get to experience.

I have not only gotten to become a father, I have been able to watch them grow.  And now, I prepare to witness their next phases of their lives.  I never take this for granted.

I have also experienced my share of sorrow as I mentioned multiple family members I have lost, but also friends and other acquaintances.

No matter where you are in the world of cancer, a patient, a survivor, a caregiver, or if you have been someone fortunate to never have been touched by cancer, please keep everyone in your mind and hearts, not just on this day, but every day.  No struggles are the same, and successes are not necessarily guaranteed.  That is why we have to capitalize each possible moment we have with each other.  Because it can all change with three simple words… “you have cancer.”

In closing, I found some inspirational quotes that I would like to share on this day, that I found on the web site, IndiaTVnews.com:

“Working out is my way of saying to cancer, ‘You’re trying to invade my body; you’re trying to take me away from my daughters, but I’m stronger than you. And I’m going to hit harder than you.” – Stuart Scott

“There’s no one way to tell how our experiences change us or shape us. Not all transformations are visible. What I’ve learnt is to never let it hold me back. I’d rather dress up and show up!” –Sonali Bendre

“Time is shortening. But every day that I challenge this cancer and survive is a victory for me.” – Ingrid Bergman

On this day, those who are now facing cancer, perhaps just diagnosed, you can get through this.  For those who are close to completing treatments or have done so, YOU DID IT!  For those in remission, I say this, a popular expression I have used over the years, “as I continue down the road of remission, I will keep looking in my rear view mirror to make sure that you are still following me.”  And for those who have longevity greater than mine, you are my true inspiration for not only lays ahead for me, but drives me to want that as well.

Duh! Tell Me Something We Don’t Know


As a long term cancer survivor of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, I have had many conversations with others, describing my treatment regimen as if I were a lab guinea pig.  It was not from the aspect of would the treatment work.  But rather, the unknown of what would happen if it did, if I reached remission, if I lived a long life.

It is my opinion, there is not enough attention paid to late term developing side effects.  Cancer patients are labelled “cured” if they meet a magical 5 years of remission, meaning the likelihood of the cancer coming back, rare.

Science is busy, studying for new cures, safer cures.  Big Pharm needs to get these new methods out to market for profit.  There is no time to study late developing side effects, because, well, survivors are not counted on to live that long to develop any.

But guess what?  They do.  The other day, I wrote a post about a Zoom conference involving a great number of fellow Hodgkin’s survivors in 40 and 50 years of survivorship.  Yes, the treatments did more than get them to the five year mark.  But these treatments did so much more.  The problem is, medicine was not prepared with what to do, how to diagnose, how to treat the progressive late developing side effects that would come the longer a survivor lived, especially if your were treated in the 20th century.

Hodgkin’s Lymphoma has always been considered a rare form of cancer.  The American Cancer Society estimates close to just 9,000 new cases this year.  To put that in perspective, Cancer.net estimates over 320,000 cases of breast cancer in 2021.

Without getting lost in the weeds of statistics, if I were to take the current remission rate past the five year mark of 85%, and even generously used an annual 5,000 cases of Hodgkin’s from 1965 to 2000, that would mean there would be roughly 148,750 long term survivors (likely a lot more with me using a smaller estimated number) who have survived 30-50 years.

Almost 150,000 long term survivors of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (again, this number is likely higher, admittedly I did not research cases each year).  The question then becomes, how many of that 150,000 have developed secondary problems over their survivorship?

Sadly, we do not know.  And why don’t we?  For one, there was no follow-up protocol for us, once we were done with treatments.  In my case, I hit my five year mark… CURED!… and had one more follow-up visit, and that was the last I saw of my doctor.  Until… April of 2008.

How many others like me could there be out of that 150,000?  It is hard to say.  Most doctors to this day, still are not aware of the many issues faced by long term survivors.  On one of the Facebook pages I am on, there are less than 800 of us, that have active health issues related to our treatment.  800 out of a potential 150,000.  The rest likely have issues, and do not realize why.  Their doctors may be scratching their heads because age and other factors do not match up with symptoms.

Survivors who do face these issues, if they are lucky, find what is called a “survivorship clinic,” a specialty that has a protocol to diagnose and manage the many issues faced by long term survivors of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  And if they are the lucky ones, they are finally put on to an established surveillance plan to monitor the progression of the late effects.

Everyone else, maybe they get lucky and find a doctor who has learned about these issues.  My primary care doctor admits she learned everything she did about long term survivorship from me.  Others, are just dismissed as hypochondriacs.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

So nearly 31 years into my survivorship, provided by another fellow survivor named Nicki, an article published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, I read the article titled “Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Survivors:  We Need To Do Better.”  It was co-written by Dr. Tara Henderson of the University of Chicago and Dr. Kevin Oeffinger of Duke University.  Here is the link to the actual article:

https://academic.oup.com/jnci/advance-article/doi/10.1093/jnci/djaa196/6044155?fbclid=IwAR0ACXnElnWomtnEv4hQbi2YHJ_XEEFzDLwLecs5JpTgljYPGEHNoV7pgGk

Using all kinds of factors, including age, treatment regimens, geographical locations, during the time period of 1965 to 2000, this stunning factor was discovered.  Treatments we were exposed to have shortened our lifespans.  I have heard many of my fellow survivors speak of being told their bodies were like that of someone twenty or years more older.  I am fifty-five years old.  Internally, I have the body of a 75-year old.

Imagine the disappointment, the cure rate for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma is one of the higher cure rates, but if you were treated before the turn of the century, your risk of morbidity or mortality is as much, if not more higher than the original cancer itself.  As the article quotes, the “cure is toxic.”

As the doctor who handles my late term effects told me, I cannot reverse what is happening to you, but I can possibly slow the issues down, prevent events, at the least, help you manage these issues.  My consolation prize.

Over the decades, the frustration that I have had, as well as other survivors have had, was how do we get medicine to catch up to our needs and not only give us the help we need, but also take care of those recently treated from suffering the same fates.

In 2003, according to the article, the National Academy of Medicine recommended lifetime follow-ups for those who have had Hodgkin’s and other pediatric cancers.  Yes, the one thing your oncologist will likely not tell you, you may be in remission of cancer, but you will never be done with it.  As hard as that is to hear, it is a good thing, that medicine has finally caught up with what many of us have known all along.

Just as importantly, the article stresses the need for better communication with the primary care giver, making sure that the PCP has access to the cancer records, and shares in the knowledge of the history of the survivor.  PCP’s can order many of the surveillance testing and management/mitigation needs.

And if you do not have access to one of these long term survivorship clinics, how do you approach your PCP with this article?  You include this link as well, provided by the Childrens Oncology Group:

http://www.survivorshipguidelines.org/

This link will send you to a lengthy PDF that covers everything from modes of treatment, to potential side effects, and more.  Armed with these two documents, a Hodgkin’s survivor is on such better standing to advocate for their survivorship.

Look, as daunting as this may sound, survivorship is a great thing.  Would I give back my 30 years of survivorship to have not experienced these late effects?  No, I would have died.

Do I live my life worried about the next shoe dropping in my survivorship?  Absolutely not.  As you can see, I have two reasons to keep on going, things in their life I want to experience with them.  And that is my plan.  My daughters understand the shell they see, has a trainwreck on the inside.  They also believe I will keep fighting and take on every issue that comes up, and survive that too.  So far, that is the plan, and it has worked.

I cannot emphasize enough, please feel free to share this post with anyone you know who has had to deal with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  As my survivor family has finally been able to realize, our efforts to advocate for ourselves have finally benefited other survivors as well.  Now, we make the difference.

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