Paul's Heart

Life As A Dad, And A Survivor

Archive for the category “Side Effects”

10 Apr 2016

Too Candid Of A Camera?


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You want to talk about tearing a wall down.

It was discussed on many news networks of a patient being awarded $500,000 because of a recording of the medical personnel involved in his care revealed that they were less than flattering about himself and the procedure he was undergoing.  To be honest, I am shaking my head at this one.  In fact, I am not really sure where to start.  So, I guess I will just give the summary.

The patient, who is never identified in the lawsuit, decided to use his smartphone to record post-op conversations for his release and any other needs.  What he got, quite honestly was more than his colon could take.

Anyone, myself included, who has ever had to undergo a colonoscopy, or any procedure that requires sedation or deeper anesthesia, expects there to be some cognitive issues, whether it be thinking or memory, as you come out of the fog.  And that is why it is normally required that you have some sort of guardian, a responsible party, to sign your release following the procedure.  Normally, that person is a family member, because if there is any “positive” news (the kind of thing that is actually negative to hear), that person is also there for support.  But when that option is not available, you have simply an “acquaintance”, who simply gets notified that you have recovered well enough to be released to someone who is not three sheets to the wind recovering from “la la land.”

Many times, it happens that the doctor will come by to the recovery area, and even though the patient is awake, will begin to discuss the preliminary results or finding even though the likelihood is that the patient will have no recollection.  So what is a patient to do?

Well, one patient had the idea to use his smartphone to record the conversation in just such a case.  In many cases, the patient actually puts their belongings inside of a plastic bag, which will actually accompany the patient to the procedural room.  But instead of hitting the record button during recovery, the patient actually hit “record” prior to heading for the colonoscopy.

We have all seen the television shows from M*A*S*H to ER, Emergency to Grey’s Anatomy.  We all expect there to be conversation inside of the surgery suite.  Topics ranged from entertainment to social status, to perhaps even actual conversation about the procedure itself.  I remember going in for my heart surgery, and the surgeon was actually listening to hard rock music before I was even anesthetized.

Intentional or not, this patient received more than an earful, for pressing “record” before he was expecting to.  Of course for that, he is $500,000 richer, and I am certain that those of us who regularly have procedures that we are anesthetized for, will be under scrutiny, and now having to answer to the question (have your turned your cell phone off) prior to the procedure.

Though my feelings are mixed about this lawsuit, my feelings are mixed about the situation itself.

It turns out the patient was actually humiliated verbally by the anesthesiologist and other personnel, prior to, and during the actual procedure.  The anesthesiologist expressed annoyance with the patient during sedation, enough to harass the sedated patient by saying to the sedated patient that he wanted to punch the patient in the face for the discussion during pre-op.  Comments were made about the way the patient had fears about the procedure, and then of course countless inappropriate insults.  Of course this behavior did not belong in this situation.  And had the patient not recorded the procedure, he… we would have been none the wiser.

I am sure that an incident like this does not happen often.  But seriously, as a patient myself, who has to plead, for the benefit of the person who has to try and put an IV into my chemotherapy destroyed veins, I do not expect to be ridiculed for being a baby for getting stressed out after the 7th or 8th attempt of getting the needle into my vein.  Or perhaps for making sure that doctors and nurses respect my knowledge of the delicate issues that revolve around my cancer survivorship, my life depends on it.  Because of my complicated immune system, if preventative antibiotics are not considered, my risk of not surviving even the most routine of a procedure are high.  There are certain things that can never be done to me because of chemo and radiation damage such as giving me pure oxygen.  I would be mortified knowing that my reward for trying to make sure that those involved in my care, took all the steps necessary, was to end up being mocked.

Should this incident have happened?  Absolutely not.  In fact, I even question the smartphone recording prior to the procedure.  After all, nearly everyone these days of Youtube and Instagram want 15 minutes of fame.  Was it worthy of a $500,000 award?  No.  Should those involved have been punished?  Absolutely.

Will it affect me, my confidence, as my annual testing for my long term cancer survivor issues will be coming around shortly?  I want to say not.  In fact, I cannot afford to think otherwise.  I have a lot of serious issues.  I need to have the confidence in my team that is treating me.  But if I am being honest, it will be at least a blip on my radar.

Posted in Cancer, Education, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
05 Apr 2016

A Survivor – A Living Metaphor


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I think it is safe to say, no one, who has ever had to battle cancer, wants to have their life defined by cancer.  But the reality is, and doctors need to be more up front about this, cancer will always  be a part of our lives when it does happen.  But it is how you live your life in spite of cancer that makes the difference.

Sure, initially I spent my early days of remission worrying daily about the return of my Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  And as time went by, the worrying faded.  Days became weeks, weeks became months, and then years.  But the fear of recurrence faded as the time went on.  Unfortunately, like many others who are in their decades of survivorship, we have had to face quite a bit more challenges in our survival, due to the late developing side effects from the highly toxic and destructive dosages of radiation and chemotherapies.

And with everything I have had to deal with health wise, I still do not live in the fear of my cancer, or its effects.  Quite the contrary.  I take what I have learned in my survival, and apply those lessons to anything negative or challenging in real life.

The Diagnosis

We are given the bad news, the challenge that we must face.  It is going to be difficult.  Statistics will not likely be on our side.  But from the moment we face the “cancer”, we must do all we can to not let that “cancer” beat us.  And I am not talking in the physical sense of loss, but the spiritual.  We cannot let any “cancer” take away who we really are.

The Prognosis

So, is it going to beat you?  Or are you going to do everything you can to get through it?  You know it will not be easy.  As the saying goes, “quitters never win, and winners never lose.”

The Team

Surround yourself with experts that know how to help you get through the ordeal.  Accept support from those that care.  Ignore those who think only negative or that it cannot be done.

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The Treatment Plan

The next days, weeks, months, and in many cases, years may not be easy.  You may have a good day, and the next two or three days may be horrible.  This cycle will go back and forth the entire duration.  But as you get through the bad times, you not only become tougher, but you realize that you actually can endure.  You start to look to the future as a realistic goal.  Survivorship is at hand.

The Fight Concludes

It is done.  You have made it.  It was not easy.  There may have been times that you felt like giving up.  But it was not in you.  The truth is, it never has been in you.  And once you have the taste of what it takes to survive one fight, you know that you have what it takes to survive the next one, and the next one.  And every day, you know that what you are fighting for is worth it.

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Posted in Cancer, Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment
27 Mar 2016

Remembering Easters With My Dad


There is one unfortunate thing that I had in common with my father, neither of us enjoyed holidays, any of them.  We both had our reasons, similarly, multiple crisis and tragedies that seem to occur at nearly every holiday.  For me, it went a level higher with the spiritual sense, because following my battle with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, I looked at the big two holidays, Christmas and Easter, for what they were supposed to mean to me, especially given another shot at life.  But the commercialization of all of the holidays, combined with the unfortunate events, just left me really disliking what they holidays were becoming.

My parents divorced when I was very young.  My mother had custody of my sister and I.  But early on, my dad did share some holiday spirit (gifts and Easter candy), though I honestly cannot remember if it was on the actual holidays.  And as I grew, I definitely remember him not being there at all.

I have discussed the relationship with my father in past posts.  Long story short, in my early 20’s, we made amends sort of, agreeing to move on with our lives, build from there, and whatever happened, happened.

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In the mid 1990’s, he and I, along with my brother and sisters started a new tradition.  We did not really recognize the holiday itself, but my father decided that on Easter, he wanted everyone to get together at his house.  My stepmother and Dad would prepare the entire meal.  All we had to do was show up.  And we did.  It was one of the few times that all of us were in a house all together like that.  My stepmother had also begun a tradition, going to a local flea market, and purchasing ceramic Easter eggs which she gave to all the females of the family.

But following a horrific car accident, my stepmother being hit by a car, changed what after a few promising years had become.  For obvious reasons, as she struggled to survive for many months, Easter had been put on hold that year.  But the following year, all us children had decided that we would help my father to once again, hold the Easter dinner.  My brother had actually went and bought the ceramic eggs for my stepmother.  And all the children would contribute food in some form.  Inspired by our effort, my Dad stated that he wanted to take care of the Easter ham.

After the meal was done, we would go outside to hold an Easter egg hunt for my dad’s grandchildren.  My brother and I started a new and weird tradition, doing the Easter dishes.  This would go on for a couple of years.  But another loss, the passing of my sister from a battle with ALL (a blood cancer), we struggled to get together, all with the same efforts.  My brother, other sister, and I would also experience our first divorce during these years since the tradition began.  But for my Dad, we kept on doing it, year after year.

But as much as my dislike for the holidays that I had, with the arrival of my daughters, Easter celebration with my Dad took on a whole new meaning.

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There is no doubt that my daughters played a pivotal role on me giving the celebration of holidays another chance.  Year after year, my daughters would participate in egg hunts along with all of their cousins.

In February of 2013, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer.  Once again we were faced with another Easter being considered for cancellation.  My Dad was concerned that he would not physically be up for it.  But all of us assured my Dad that we wanted to take full responsibility this year, including the ham to keep going what we had grown.  He reluctantly agreed.

Several months later, his cancer turned more aggressive.  He was declared terminal.  And in 2014, as yet another Easter holiday was approaching, this time my father was in a nursing home, in hospice.  We had arranged for my stepmother to be with him, staying in the same nursing home, as they had never been separated before in over 40 years, and we did not want them separated in what could most likely be his last days.  As Easter of 2014 came up, we all decided that we would do Easter together as we had for so many years.

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Easter would be brought to both my Dad and stepmother, and throughout the day, we would all join them.  All the food would be cooked and brought to the home.  And yes, the ceramic eggs were bought.

My Dad passed away a little over a month later.  Easter just does not seem the same.  It is just Sunday to me today.  I know the religious importance of the day as I was taught.  But for all the celebrations and gatherings, the day remains empty for me.

Posted in Family and Friends, Inspired By..., Side Effects, The Heart | Leave a comment

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